Don't You Dare Pity Me! in Literature.
- Ayn Rand was quite fond of giving her heroes this characteristic — all preferring to get out of the pitiful situation, instead. SEE: The Fountainhead, Think Twice, and of course Atlas Shrugged.
- In Animorphs, Marco presents the facade of aloofness because he hates feeling pitied, which ultimately fails when his teammates find out that his mother is Visser One, leader of the Yeerk Invasion. Likewise, teammate Tobias eventually becomes accustomed to being a hawk, but still tries to avoid the feelings of pity from his friends. That said, he is Emohawk, so he spends most of the time wangsting. Jake, similarly, can't stand pity, because he feels that as the leader, he should appear flawless and confident in every decision he makes and therefore tries never to let the others see him second-guessing himself.
- The Berenstain Bears deconstructs this trope when Harry McGill, a cub who needs to use a wheelchair to get around as a result of a car accident when he was young, moves to Bear Country and joins the same class Brother and his friends are in. Harry refuses to be pitied for being paraplegic, which is understandable, and it’s also hard to blame him for being angry at Queenie's Disabled Means Helpless attitude towards him. The problem comes from how he interprets any sort of kindness or decent treatment towards him as nothing more than "special treatment" because of his disability. As a result, he's incredibly abrasive and rude to everyone, even to those who are genuinely trying to befriend him or help him adjust to a new environment regardless of his disability. It takes Brother calling him out on his attitude after Harry was initially ungrateful for Brother defending him from Too-Tall's bullying for him to have a Jerkass Realization and mellow out.
- There's a variant in one of the later Campion novels by Margery Allingham. Campion conceals the fact he has amnesia and that one of his few memories is of how much he loves Amanda because he can't bear the thought of her choosing him out of pity.
- Belle in Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol breaks up with Scrooge when she realizes that his personality has changed and his love of wealth now overshadows any feelings he has for her. When Scrooge points out that he has never asked to break off their engagement, she rejects it as pity or a sense of obligation.
- Scrooge himself also has a moment like this in the 1984 TV adaptation starring George C. Scott. In the scene following the one above, an older Belle, now Happily Married with many children, expresses pity for Scrooge when she learns that he's alone in the world. Scrooge, forgetting that Belle can neither see nor hear him, exclaims "Spare me your pity! I have no need of it!"
- In Circle of Magic, Briar and Daja make themselves rich with plant and smith magic, and Sandry's an heiress who lives with her uncle the Duke of Emelan. Tris is the odd one out since she can't profit from her magic without sacrificing her ethics. When Daja asks her to move into her new forge/house in The Will of the Empress, Tris immediately insists that she'll work as Daja's maid rather than accepting "charity."
- In the final Codex Alera novel, when Tavi finds out Kitai is pregnant, she starts to cry, uses watercrafting to remove the tears, and Tavi holds her close and says:Don't hide those tears from me.
- In Comrade Death, Sarek arranges to Murder the Hypotenuse when his rival Janos is arrested as a spy. Sarek is an Arms Dealer speaking with the nation's paranoid leader, and refuses to acknowledge that he knows Janos is an innocent artist. He returns home, spinning the tale to Cosima of how he couldn't save her husband and offering to marry her to support her children. When she refuses, Sarek throws the truth in her face. He expects hatred after confessing that he let her husband die, but instead, he receives pity — Cosima is such a Wide-Eyed Idealist that she can't see Sarek for who he really is, believing that he's trying to punish himself for being unable to save Janos.
- Vlad Tepes in Count and Countess. God help you if you try to point out his awful childhood or show him sympathy over having lost his entire family to a pointless war.
- A Court of Thorns and Roses: Nesta is adamant when it comes to refusing Feyre's and the Inner Circle's help in A Court of Frost and Starlight. Mainly because she knows that it's their fault for dragging her into this in the first place.
- In A Darker Shade of Magic Lila goes off on Kell for not appreciating his life as an adopted son of Royalty while she spent her life in the streets. Then tells him not to pity her when he goes to apologize.
- In Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier, Red literally says this to Sorcha.
- Dawn of War: In C. S. Goto's novel Dawn of War: Ascension, a captive Eldar is infuriated when he realizes a human woman pities him.
- Dive (2003): Expressing concern for Star or wondering if she can keep up with the others due to her disability infuriates her and makes her double her efforts.
- Raistlin Majere of the Dragonlance books absolutely hates to be pitied.
- Dragonvarld: Ven is thought to have a disability as a result of his odd gait from having dragon legs. Among all the reactions this gets him, the pity is the worst in his view.
- In Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files novel Small Favor, Harry is angry at Michael's pity partly because he can tell that Michael thinks he's deluded, and he knows he's not.
- Ender's Shadow: Achilles doesn't want your pity, and in fact will kill you if he detects even a hint of it in any of your interactions. Of course, he may just kill you anyway. He's like that.
- In Gene Stratton-Porter's Freckles, Freckles, returning from town where Angel and her father treated him as an equal, breaks down and cries on his return trip. He's not sure what it means but he's afraid it's pity.
- In The Full Matilda by David Haynes, Matilda refuses the pity of whoever "you" is when she tells the story of how at the age of 16 she slept with the senator her family worked for so she could secure her father a house of his own.
- In Dan Abnett's Gaunt's Ghosts novel The Armour of Contempt, Dalin Criid feels and knows he dares not express a deep pity for Merrt after the Ghost ends up in RIP with him.
- In John C. Wright's The Golden Transcedence, after some false memories were revoked from Atkins — against his will — Atkins tells Phaethon to spare him the pity.
- Amy from Gone Girl really hates being pitied. Even though she gets everything she wanted in the end, her husband Nick bluntly says he feels sorry for her. When she asks why, he responds that every day, Amy has to wake up and be Amy. She then admits to the reader that she can't stop thinking about this, and wishes she could, before admitting she has nothing more to add to the story; she just couldn't stand to let Nick have the last word.
- Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind is an example. She cannot stand being pitied; Rhett claims that she cannot stand pity and sympathy because she sees them as a sign of weakness. At the end of the book, when Rhett tells her that this is the only feeling he has left for her, that is the moment that she knows for certain that their marriage is over.
- On Gor it is extremely taboo to offer anyone pity — it is supposed to demean both the one who offers it and the one who is offered it. So strongly is this felt that in Rogue of Gor, Jason Marshall successfully reforms an alcoholic merely by pitying him for falling prey to the disease. Even the lure of the bottle is not as strong as the drive to never be pitied again.
- Guardians of the Flame: James Michael doesn't like that people pity him for having to use a wheelchair because of his muscular dystrophy, and especially when people also act repelled from him (as Doria does).
- Harry Potter:
- Harry also suffers from this, usually justified but sometimes to Too Dumb to Live levels. He hates being famous partly because it's annoying, partly because his parents' double murder is part of his fame, and therefore a good bit of the attention he gets is pity, which he hates. He goes further, however, in frequently not telling Ron and Hermione (especially Hermione) his problems, even if it would do a lot of good, because he doesn't want them to pity him. For example, he wouldn't tell them that his detentions with Umbridge involved writing lines with his own blood, provoking an outraged response when Ron found out.
- When Severus Snape is being bullied by the Marauders, Lily tries to help him only for Severus to declare: "I don't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her!" Given that "Mudblood" is the most offensive term for Muggle-born wizards like her, Lily ends her friendship with Severus resulting in his Unlucky Childhood Friend status. And he spends the rest of his life regretting it, to the point where he hates even hearing the word “Mudblood”.
- In Robert Asprin's Hit or Myth, Aahz makes or breaks heavy promises to his family in order to rejoin his apprentice Skeeve and finds out that Skeeve is evidently coping just fine without him. Skeeve quickly realizes how crushing this is, but other characters happily burble about how well Skeeve is doing before coming to belated awareness. Panic-stricken, they look to Skeeve to convince Aahz that he really is still needed, and they aren't saying so out of pity.
- In Iorich, Loiosh knows better than to extend psychic sympathy when his boss is getting beaten up, as Vlad just wants to ride out the pain until it's over.
- The narrator of Jakob the Liar (not in the Robin Williams movie).
- Éowyn, in J. R. R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, says this to Faramir with the line, "I desire no man's pity." (Faramir responds with a rare defense of pity: "Do not scorn pity that is the gift of a gentle heart.")
- Lord Peter Wimsey: Dorothy L. Sayers' Harriet Vane found it difficult to accept the title character because he had fallen in love with her after she had been arrested for murder and was in serious danger of execution. The class difference didn't help.
- In John Hemry's The Lost Fleet, Rion to Geary.
- In Lois McMaster Bujold's Mirror Dance, Mark Vorkosigan—who has been tortured to the point of developing a personality disorder, suffered serious injuries in his escape, and kicked his tormentor to death with his bare feet—tells off Elena Bothari, who's no slouch in the deep and lasting pain department herself; "Don't you dare pity me. I won."
- MonsterVerse: In the Godzilla: King of the Monsters and Godzilla vs. Kong official novelizations, Madison Russell doesn't like being treated like she's a child or a victim.
- "'Kjwalll'kje'k'koothaïlll'kje'k", one of Roger Zelazny's My Name Is Legion stories, includes Martha Millay, a famous and award-winning photographer who happens to be horribly crippled... and also a telepath. She lives a hermit-like existence on a remote island and explains that she might well have stayed in the city if it weren't for her ability and knowledge of people's feelings about her.
- One of Nicol's hangups in My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! is that people tend to pity him for being burdened by having to constantly care for and protect his sister. In an interesting twist, this attitude infuriates him not because of his pride, but because as he sees it, having such a wonderfully kind and gentle sister is no burden at all, but a blessing. Katarina first catches his interest by being the first person to match this sentiment, complimenting him for having such a blessed family.
- Nightfall (Series): Tristan is always in pain because of something that happened in his past, and he hates being pitied. He hides his condition from almost everyone, which is partly justified as he has many enemies at court.
- In John Barnes's One for the Morning Glory, Amatus's behavior is so erratic after Gorlias's death that people worry that he doesn't sit about spurning sympathy despite his otherwise melancholy behavior.
- In The Oregon Files book Skeleton Coast, protagonist and captain of the titular Oregon Juan Cabrillo reflects on this; after getting his leg blown off by a Chinese gunboat, he was taken out of the hospital in a wheelchair, with one of his pants legs neatly pinned up from the missing limb—and he absolutely loathed the looks of pity he got from the hospital staff and other patrons; from that day forward, he practically threw himself into physical therapy, and commissioned a series of advanced "combat" legs that could allow him to keep pace with even the fittest of the Oregon's crew without even the hint of having a prosthetic, just so that he would never be a liability, or pitiable, ever again. In his own thoughts, he may have a handicap, but he is not handicapped. To his credit, his leg only slows him down once, performing an activity that admittedly requires almost total awareness in all four of your limbs (skydiving/HALO jumping), but even then there were other factors at play, and he managed to turn the situation to an advantage for him and his team, partially because of his prosthetic leg.
- Others: Private investigator Nick "Dis" Dismas, born with a curved spine, withered leg and overlapping brow, laments conspicuous gestures of acceptance.
- Shouxue the Raven Consort, in Raven of the Inner Palace, is less than pleased when Emperor Koshun explains that he wants to know more about the Raven Consort's history because he pities her. She splashes him with cold tea and angrily explains the history of her position.
- In Redeeming Love, Angel reacts with derision (and, as she gradually begins to grow more open towards him, anger) towards Michael’s attempts to show sympathy for her unhappy and lonely life as a prostitute.
- In Brian Jacques's Redwall, Impoverished Patrician Squire Julian of Gingivere disdains his ramshackle estate and repels Matthias's sympathy because he knows nothing of loneliness or trying to preserve standards.
- In the The Savannah Reid Mysteries novel Buried in Buttercream, when Savannah's having a rough time because she and her friends are having some psychological issues from her being shot a couple of months ago, and now her wedding had to be canceled a second time (first because an arsonist burned the building she was supposed to be married in, second time because someone was murdered at the place), she tells her Granny to not say any pitying, kind words because that will make her just fall apart.
- Jenna Heap in Septimus Heap doesn't exactly approve of being pitied by Hildegarde after her mother Sarah was trapped in the Darke Domaine. In fact, she runs away just to get rid of her.
- In the Sherlock Holmes story "The Crooked Man" a soldier had been betrayed to the enemy by his rival in love and suffered horrific tortures. He had avoided his old love for fear of inspiring her pity for many years.
- In the Spider-Man: Sinister Six Trilogy, a character who is named Pity so named because a old man decided that she should be miserable her entire life and all she'll ever have is pity decides at the end that she won't take pity from anyone anymore.
- A Song of Ice and Fire: Joffrey reacts this way when Sansa tries to comfort him after he has been mauled by her sister's direwolf. Cersei later states that this incident is the reason why Joffrey delights in making Sansa's life miserable: she saw him when he was weak.
- In Sorcery and Cecelia, at the beginning of her Season, Kate has no partners at her first dance except for one who seemed rather distracted during the dance and immediately afterward claimed his dance with her sister, making the sister's magnanimity a little too blatant for Kate.
- In the Star Trek novel Spock's World, the Big Bad tells McCoy that said character doesn't want his pity for being imprisoned. He retorts that he's got no time for pity and that the Big Bad needs to pull herself together.
- Star Wars Expanded Universe: Heir to the Empire: After Mara Jade reveals her origins to Luke, she lets him know that she doesn't need his sympathy. She gets it anyway!
- Funnily enough, she grows to admire this quality, although the only people she'd ever admit that to are her husband and son (Luke and Ben, obviously).
- To Kill a Mockingbird has a variation. The black Tom Robinson was almost certain to be convicted of the white Mayella Ewell's rape regardless of what he said, but he makes one serious mistake at his trial; the prosecutor asks him why he was constantly helping her around her house while turning down money (presumably trying to get Tom to say that he was attracted to her,) but Tom does something even worse by saying that he helped because he "felt right sorry for her". "You felt sorry for her? You felt sorry for her?" replies the prosecutor, causing both Tom and Atticus to immediately realize that the concept of a black man pitying a white woman will offend the jury so much that whatever extremely slim chance they might have had of acquittal has been lost, and Atticus's closing statement specifically draws attention to how having the "temerity" to pity a white woman is not reason enough to convict him.
- In Touch (2017), Caspar befriends James right after the latter went through Rape as Backstory. This seems like a coincidence until James learns that Caspar is The Empath and could thus sense his newfound trauma, even if he didn't know the exact cause. He's annoyed by the implication that Caspar only befriended him out of pity, though he gets over it pretty quickly upon learning how bad Caspar's own life is.
- In Uncle Tom's Cabin, the runaway slave George Harris speaks to his kindhearted former boss about his horrible situation and his escape. The boss tries to lend him some money that George desperately needs, but the Hot-Blooded George rejects it. They find a compromise, though: George does take the cash, but promises to repay it once he's free.
- Underground: Robyn detests any and all forms of pity, and her first thought to anyone caring about her or Lucy is that they pity them, which usually leads to her yelling at the person that she doesn't want anyone's pity.
- In William King's Warhammer 40,000 novel Space Wolf, when Strybjorn is injured, he snarls at Ragnar, "I don't need your help," but gets only to his knees before he starts to topple. Ragnar helps him up and to walk.
- In Wolfblade, Ragnar at one point thinks of helping Haegr to his feet and gets a warning glance that keeps him silent.
- In Steven Lyons's Warhammer 40,000 novel Ice Guard, Anakora joined the Imperial Guard to avoid the pity. She is convinced that her subsequent survival — two and a half years, where normal life expectancy is measured in hours — resulted from others pitying her.
- Jayfeather of Warrior Cats is not the happiest cat around, mostly due to how much he's pitied because of his blindness. Don't be too nice to him, or he'll think you're pitying him. And don't mention his blindness, but then again, don't seem like you're trying to avoid it, either.
- In The Wheel of Time, every time one of the heroes meets any Traveling People (who are pacifists), the main response toward him is a pity for his readiness to do violence (even in self-defence). One of the sharpest examples was with Perrin, who actually feels guilty doing violence but understands the necessity and gets one of those looks from one such a woman in the middle of a battle! He pretty much starts shouting the name of the trope at her. In a rare occurrence, she actually breaks that principle to protect him and gets killed.
- During Wedge's Gamble, one of the Alderaanians who was off-planet when it was destroyed explains that many Alderaanians feel this trope, hating the thought of pity, but at the same time feel the need to remind people of their loss.
- In Wraith Squadron, Falynn suffers from a serious inferiority complex and hates the idea of being coddled.
