Comic Book: Sergio AragonÚs Destroys DC

A new Johnny DC for The Dark Age of Comic Books
Who is trying to kill us?
Hawkman: I cannot tell you! I cannot tell you because it is too horrible! And also because Sergio hasn't figured out that part yet!
Sergio AragonÚs destroys DC is a parody of characters from DC comics, written by Sergio AragonÚs. As if you couldn't guess it yourself...

One day, Sergio AragonÚs grew tired of writing at the sides of "Mad": it's about time he begins to write about big superheroes! First, Superman. Origin story, and Superman saves a kid, destroying his cape in the process, just because it's cool. And then Hawkman cries about a terrible villain coming to destroy them. Then, Batman: Origin story, Batman punishes a random criminal for information about a costumed vigilante that punishes criminals, Gordon sends him against the Joker, and Superman and Hawkman come to request his aid. Then, Wonder Woman: fighting something worse than an invasion of barbarians or gods: a ruling from the Supreme Court that rules that it is not constitutional to forbid the entry to the island based on sex. Hankman tries as well to request the help of the Legion of Superheroes, who reject him because he's in the wrong time period.

So, all the big heroes met at some random planet, and try to figure out who is the villain. Sergio AragonÚs stops writing for a moment, he did not think about the villain yet. He takes some old magazines, and selects the most terrible one: Johnny DC! Johnny tells the heroes that they have changed and now they suck, and so he gets "updated for the nineties" and tries to destroy them. Batman tricks him into saying his name backwards, and he dissapears.

What a great story! Or so thinks Sergio. He's kicked out of DC's premises, and the big chiefs tell a kid to get rid of those pathetic drawings. But he understood it wrong, and sent them for printing. The printers find it a bit strange, but surely it must be something for the Vertigo line. DC wouldn't request some millions of printed copies of the wrong comic book, right?

Sergio AragonÚs Destroys DC contains examples of:

  • Alternate Company Equivalent: Sergio AragonÚs massacres Marvel.
  • And the Rest: Hawkman visited only the Martian Manhunter, Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the Legion. Flash, Green Lantern and Aquaman simply show up at the desert planet.
  • Art Shift: The scenes with Sergio and Mark are drawn in a slightly different style than the main story.
  • As You Know: "Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers...bend steel in his... aw, you all know how this goes. Let's just get on with the story"
  • Author Appeal: Wonder Woman does not use the invisible plane since many years ago, but it's there anyway. Just because Sergio wanted to draw it.
  • Bat Deduction: Batman had absolutely no clues about the identity of this dangerous foe, but he guessed it anyway. Because he's "The" Batman.
  • Book Ends: The fate of Mr. Mxyzptlk
  • The Cavalry: Once Johnny DC starts attacking Superman, Batman, Hawkman, Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, the Flash, and Green Lantern, a horde of superheroes arrive to fight against Johnny.
    Guy Gardner: Why didn't someone tell us it was time for another big crossover?
  • Clark Kenting: Spoofed, of course.
    Old man: (seeing Superman flying out of the Daily Planet office) Kent's flying around again, Agnes!
  • Comically Missing the Point: Batman receives a letter from the Joker that says, "Dear Batman... I am in the amusement park at 1738 Gotham Drive... Yours truly, the Joker!" Batman starts pondering over where the Joker could possibly be, taking him hours before finally getting the message.
  • The Conspiracy: The heroes note that every time there was a big crossover, someone gets killed or maimed, citing incidents such as Crisis on Infinite Earths, Emerald Twilight, Aquaman's 1994 relaunch, Green Arrow's death the following year, The Death of Superman, and Knightfall.
  • Doomy Dooms of Doom: Hawkman just won't shut up about the upcoming doom.
    Hawkman: Did I mention we're doomed?
    Black Canary: Repeatedly.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?: That's "The" Batman for you, scumbag!
    • Even worse when the Joker appeared. "Hiya, 'The'".
  • Either World Domination or Something about Bananas: When Batman sees the Bat-Signal in the sky.
    Batman: There must be a desperate situation threatening Gotham's very soul! -- Either that or my next movie is premiering tonight!
  • The End Is Nigh: Krypton had one of those nice guys, with his banner "The world will end tomorrow". But he was in a mistake: the world ended on that day.
  • Entendre Failure: When Sergio ended his great story about Batman, Mark pointed that "Bob Kane would be in tears!". And then thought "But not for the reasons you suspect".
  • Especially Zoidberg: When Sergio AragonÚs was first rejected in DC. "Sorry sir. It's my job to keep out fans, aspiring writers and artists, spies from Marvel, and amway salespersons. Also, of course, anyone who has ever worked on Groo"
  • Fauxlosophic Narration: Batman engauges in this, even when he realises that he's repeating adjectives.
    Batman: (thinking) I wish I'd brought my thesaurus!
  • Fridge Logic: invokedAt the beginning of Wonder Woman's story, the narrator gets distracted by her leaping from out of nowhere and goes off on a rant about how someone could swing from building to building.
  • Genre-Killer: invokedMark's impression of Sergio's comic.
    Mark: (thinking) Well, if that doesn't kill off the genre, nothing will.
  • Gratuitous Spanish: "Hola!" "Uno momento, se˝orita!"
  • I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Before changing into Superman, Clark tells Lois that he's late for his "wimp lesson".
  • Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Batman took a random piece of human garbage to make him talk. "We've had reports of a psychotic masked man in a stupid costume beating the crap out of hoboes n this area! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?"
    Wonder Woman: (thinking) How did this clown ever wind up in Detective Comics?
  • Jerkass: As You Know, Krypton is about to be destroyed, but fortunately Jor-El had finished a rocket that may allow someone to escape from the planet.
    Lara: Uh, Jor-El, don't you think we ought to send our son?
    Jor-El: You are right. It is a tight fit.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: After they defeated him, the heroes thought that Johnny DC was not so wrong after all. Superman could try not to break his clothes so often... Batman could try to be a bit less psychotic... Wonder Woman may try to have legs of human proportions...
  • Joker Immunity: Invoked by theTropeNamer himself. Batman can not kill him, because he's his most profitable villain. Let's better make a pair of bad jokes and see that they are Not So Different for a couple of pages, and leave it at that.
  • Logical Weakness: Oh, no! There's a man in Themyscira! The island is supposed to be destroyed if men ever set a foot on it! Right? Well, there are some exceptions.
  • Mangled Catchphrase: "Faster than a speeding building! More powerful than a bullet! Able to leap tall locomotives in a single bound! (Wait a minute -- that's not quite right...)"
  • Moral Dissonance: Themyscira was invaded, not by savage hordes, but by the Supreme Court of the United States. They ruled that it is unconstitutional to deny people to enter to the island based on their sex: men will be allowed!
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Superman saved a kid that was about to be stomped by a car, but to do so he caused a massive automovile collision of several cars long. But, hey, the kid is all right!
  • No Fourth Wall: The actions goes back-and-forth, and without shame, from the comic book story and Sergio AragonÚs and Mark Evanier as they write it.
  • Overly Long Gag
    -I am Deja Vu kid! I have the power to make events repeat themselves!
    -We don't believe that's possible! Next!
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Johnny DC gave one to the heroes before trying to kill them.
  • Refusal of the Call: Hawkman can not just simply appear and ask he Legion for their help: he's from another time!
  • Retcon: Criminals are a supersticious, cowardly lot, so Bruce Wayne needs a disguise to strike terror into their hearts. He saw something in his window, that gave him the idea. Thus is born the weird figure of the dark, the avenger of evil... the Jehovah witness man! Ejem, as we were saying, thus is born the weird figure of the dark, the avenger of evil... Batman!
  • Rule of Cool: Superman got rid of the indestructible clothing, and got instead cheap imitations. Because he looks cool with his clothes ravaged!
  • She's Got Legs: Wonder Woman ordered a criminal to give up. He says that she can't attack him, she's many meters away. But he forgot how long artists draw her legs!
  • Take That, Audience!: Superman has powers much greater than those of the wimps who read comic books.
  • There Was a Door: Batman enters Commissioner Gordon's office by breaking through a window.
    Batman: You know, Commissioner, if you want me, you could at least leave the window open! Hmmm?
  • Tuckerization
    -I am Nixon lad! I have the power to polarize people and to make a 18 minute gap appear anywhere!
    -Didn't we get rid of you several times already? Next!
  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: The Legion Of Superheroes tryouts are parodied. Not only do we have the above-mentioned Nixon Boy, but we have Deja-Vu Kid (who can make events repeat themselves), Cotton-Swab Boy (who can remove earwax anywhere in the universe), Deja-Vu Kid (who can make events repeat themselves), Windows Lass (who can actually understand Windows '97), and Deja-Vu Kid (who can make events repeat themselves).
  • What the Hell, Hero?: When Batman threatens a hobo for information:
    Hobo: Wait... you're a hero, right?
    Batman: Some issues, even I'm not sure!
  • Writing by the Seat of Your Pants: invokedAs Hawkman points out, Sergio had not thought up who the villain that threatens the DC Universe is. When it's time for The Reveal, Sergio resorts to Archive Binging in order to find the "most disgusting, loathsome villain of all DC history".
  • You Can't Handle The Parody: The Joker does this to Batman.
    Batman: Stop doing Jack Nicholson! That's over!