Characters: You Don't Know Jack
"Hello, people! How ya doin'? My name's Cookie, welcome to our show here. How many people are gonna be playing the game?"The most well-known host. Started his career as the green-room organizer in Volume 1, Sports and Volume 2, before going on to to host Movies, Volume 3, the Netshow, the PlayStation game, part of The Ride, Offline, the online game, 2011, the first iOS game, the Face Book game, OUYA, Party, and 2015 . Also the green-room organizer in German Volume 1, German Volume 2, German PlayStation, and German Volume 4, and the host for 2015's sister game Fibbage. Was The Announcer for the short lived live-action game show.
— One of Cookie's first lines upon starting a game, Volume 1
Voiced by: Tom Gottlieb
- Ascended Extra: Went from the green-room organizer to the most recognized host of them all.
- Bad Boss: It's implied that he doesn't treat his employees very well.
- Can't Hold His Liquor: One segment of the Ride is sponsored by Ye Olde Booze Shoppe. For Cookie, it goes about as well as you'd imagine.Cookie: "Which of these slang terms for 'Regurtation' is NOT a good example of 'Onomatopoeia?' Barf, Hurl, Ralph or Upchuck?"
- Cats Are Mean: His cats Poopsie and Mayonaise often fall under this.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Jerkass: In earlier games he'd insult the player's score, give them an embarrasing nickname if they didn't enter one in the box and mock them for not having a social life. He gets better once promoted to host. Sort of.
- The Announcer: In the short lived live action game show.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Fortune Cookies, in fact there's even a question type in 2011.
Cookie: "You know what their slogan says "Once you pop, you can't stop"? It's so true!"
- Also it's implied in the same game that he loves Pringles.
Josh "Schmitty" Schmitstinstein
Now I hope you went before we left, because it's time.Hosted in TV, part of The Ride, the Netshow, Louder! Faster! Funnier!, 5th Dementia, Mock 2, and The Lost Gold. He also acts as The Announcer in 2011 and the Facebook game.
— One of lines he says before a multiplayer game begins in Louder! Faster! Funnier!
Voiced by: Phil Ridarelli
- Demoted to Extra: He went from hosting several games in the series to simply being The Announcer. However, he now hosts 2015 's sister game Lie Swatter.
- Hot-Blooded: He tends to be a bit temperamental at times.
- Only Known by Their Nickname
- The Announcer: In 2011 and the Facebook Game, and various other games before that.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: In The Lost Gold, you flip him off in a Gibberish or an anagram question the first and second times, and your score will suffer.
- Voiced by: Harry Gottlieb
- Out of Focus: Despite being the very first host, he didn't make very many appearances after the first game.
- Voiced by: Andy Poland
- Voiced by: Peter B. Spector
- Butt Monkey: Was set to host the second episode of The Ride, then Cookie opened the trapdoor below him.
- Demoted to Extra: Just one cameo appearance since he hosted 2
- Nepotism/Coattail-Riding Relative: In the Green Room/Pre-game section of Volume 2, phone conversations between the two reveal that Buzz is Nate's cousin.
- The Cameo: In The Ride.
- Voiced by: Andy Poland
Jack CakeHosted the British Version of the second volume.
Quizmaster JackThe host of the German volumes. Hosted Volume 1, Volume 2, Abwärts!, PlayStation, and Volume 4. Voiced by Axel Malzacher in Volume 1 and the latter 4 being voiced by Kai Taschner.
Troy StevensThe host of the short-lived live-action game show. Portrayed by Paul Reubens. Currently the only host who has been seen besides at The Bottom at the end of The Ride, and even then, still the only host seen in full.
RaulReplaced Cookie as the organizer in Movies, Volume 3, TV and Offine, and hosted the Netshow.note
Other Gameshow Staff
DonnyThe organizer for 2011. He's given the task of explaining the rules, setting up the game and occasionally writes questions.
- Delusions of Eloquence: A severe case. Becomes a bit of a problem in Episode 47 of 2011 when a lack of questions forces him to write up his own.
- The Nick Namer: If a player fails to enter their name.Donny: Player One, you failed to enter your John Hanclock. From now on, you're Sisyphus.
KimA fact finder in 2011 who would occasionally interrupt questions in order to point out mistakes in the questions or Cookie's comments in great detail.
HelenThe director in many of the games, most notably 2011.
ChadAn intern who is a recurring character in 2011. He is remarkably dimwitted and frequently annoys Cookie with his idiocy and his habit of losing the questions he's supposed to hand Cookie.
- The Ditz
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Once wrote a Jack Attack for Episode 47, which could be considered the easiest one created. And the funniest one at that.
Old ManLongtime stagehand who still hasen't died (suprisingly enough), hosted "Old Man's Moldy Memories" in Head Rush and "Foggy Facts with Old Man" in 2015, and is also a reccuring character, and is also the spokesperson for Old Man Essence in 2011 and Autum Dusk Feminine Spray in Facebook, and is supposedly Schmitty's father.
- "Voiced by": Andy Poland
- The Announcer: In The Lost Gold
- Berserk Button: Swear words. See the Easter Egg example on the Main page.
- Dirty Old Man: In Volume 3.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Triggering his above Berserk Button habit often results in wishing horrifying and cruel punishments on the player, including calling the air force. Of course, the host is usually sensible enough to just give a large hit to the player's score and change their name to something insulting.
- His Name Really Is Old Man.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Played with on TV if you drop the F-Bomb three times in a gibberish question, and press any key as the game's about to exit to desktop, he'll reveal that he knew Schmitty's mother, which cumulates to Old Man being his father.
- Pyrrhic Victory: Experiences one in 2011, and after crapping himself, he cries "Foul!"
- Rambling Old Man Monologue: Naturally a fan of these.
Chocky the ChipmunkA sociopathic cereal mascot of various cereals including British Chocky Puffs (which contain Squick blood sausage) and Chocky the Chipmunk's Allergy Clusters, which are about as delicious as Grandma's hard diabetes candy ("Yay...").
- Catch Phrase: "WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
- Funny Animal
- Heroic Comedic Sociopath
- Mascot: For various cereals.
Milan The JanitorA character in Headrush who hosted Trash Talking With Milan, a question type which involves English and Grammar.
- Voiced By" Igor Gasowski
The CaptainA character in The Lost Gold who gets cursed after finding Jack Gold. The sign-in host for the game.
- A Pirate 400 Years Too Late
- Curse: Gets under one in the intro video (for loading the game for the first time), as such he's trapped for eternity being the game's sign-in host that haunts the "Studio" and the player(s) have to accumulate a total of $1,000,000 to free him. In fact, the pirate-themed Impossible Questions in The Lost Gold are him attempting to speed up the process.