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Characters: You Don't Know Jack

And now, our hosts...

Cookie Masterson

"Hello, people! How ya doin'? My name's Cookie, welcome to our show here. How many people are gonna be playing the game?"
— One of Cookie's first lines upon starting a game, Volume 1

Voiced by: Tom Gottlieb

The most well-known host. Started his career as the green-room organizer in Volume 1, Sports and Volume 2, before going on to to host Movies, Volume 3, the Netshow, the PlayStation game, part of The Ride, Offline, the online game, 2011, and the Face Book game. Also the green-room organizer in German Volume 1, German Volume 2, German PlayStation, and German Volume 4. Was The Announcer for the short lived live-action game show.

  • Ascended Extra: Went from the green-room organizer to the most recognized host of them all.
  • Bad Boss: It's implied that he doesn't treat his employees very well.
  • Can't Hold His Liquor: One segment of the Ride is sponsored by Ye Olde Booze Shoppe. For Cookie, it goes about as well as you'd imagine.
    Cookie: "Which of these slang terms for "Regurtation" is NOT a good example of "Onomatopoeia?" Barf, Hurl, Ralph or Upchuck?
  • Cats Are Mean: His cats Poopsie and Mayonaise often fall under this.
  • Deadpan Snarker
  • Jerkass: In earlier games he'd insult the player's score, give them an embarrasing nickname if they didn't enter one in the box and mock them for not having a social life. He gets better once promoted to host. Sort of.
  • The Announcer: In the short lived live action game show.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Fortune Cookies, in fact there's even a question type in 2011.
    • Also it's implied in the same game that he loves Pringles.
    Cookie: "You know what their slogan says "Once you pop, you can't stop"? It's so true!"

Josh "Schmitty" Schmitstinstein

Now I hope you went before we left, because it's time.
— One of lines he says before a multiplayer game begins in Louder! Faster! Funnier!

Voiced by: Phil Ridarelli

Hosted in TV, part of The Ride, the Netshow, Louder! Faster! Funnier!, 5th Dementia, Mock 2, and The Lost Gold. He also acts as The Announcer in 2011 and the Facebook game.

Nate Shapiro

Voiced by: Harry Gottlieb

The original host. Starred in Volume 1, the Netshow, the Tiger Electronics Tabletop version and part of The Ride.
  • Out of Focus: Despite being the very first host, he didn't make very many appearances after the first game.

Guy Towers

Voiced by: Andy Poland

The host of Sports, the Sports Netshow, and part of The Ride.

Buzz Lippman

Voiced by: Peter B. Spector

The least popular of the hosts. Buzz hosted Volume 2 and made a cameo in The Ride.

Bob

Voiced by: Andy Poland

Was the host of Headrush before being demoted to Sound Guy. Handles the intercom and technical issues in 2011 and the iOS/Face Book game.

Jack Cake

Hosted the British Version of the second volume.

Quizmaster Jack

The host of the German volumes. Hosted Volume 1, Volume 2, Abwärts!, PlayStation, and Volume 4. Voiced by Axel Malzacher in Volume 1 and the latter 4 being voiced by Kai Taschner.

Troy Stevens

The host of the short-lived live-action game show. Portrayed by Paul Reubens. Currently the only host who has been seen besides at The Bottom at the end of The Ride, and even then, still the only host seen in full.

Raul

Replaced Cookie as the organizer in Movies, Volume 3, TV and Offine, and hosted the Netshow.note 

Other Gameshow Staff

Donny

The organizer for 2011. He's given the task of explaining the rules, setting up the game and occasionally writes questions.

  • Delusions of Eloquence: A severe case. Becomes a bit of a problem in Episode 47 of 2011 when a lack of questions forces him to write up his own.
  • The Nick Namer: If a player fails to enter their name.
    Donny: Player One, you failed to enter your John Hanclock. From now on, you're Sisyphus.

Kim

A fact finder in 2011 who would occasionally interrupt questions in order to point out mistakes in the questions or Cookie's comments in great detail.

Helen

The director in many of the games, most notably 2011.

Chad

An intern who is a recurring character in 2011. He is remarkably dimwitted and frequently annoys Cookie with his idiocy and his habit of losing the questions he's supposed to hand Cookie.

Other Characters

Old Man

Longtime stagehand who still hasen't died (suprisingly enough), hosted "Old Man's Moldy Memories" in Head Rush, and is also a reccuring character, and is also the spokesperson for Old Man Essence in 2011 and Autum Dusk Feminine Spray in Facebook, and is supposedly Schmitty's father.
"Voiced by": Andy Poland

Chocky the Chipmunk

A sociopathic cereal mascot of various cereals including British Chocky Puffs (which contain Squick blood sausage) and Chocky the Chipmunk's Allergy Clusters, which are about as delicious as Grandma's hard diabetes candy ("Yay...").

Milan The Janitor

A character in Headrush who hosted Trash Talking With Milan, a question type which involves English and Grammar.
Voiced By" Igor Gasowski

The Captain

A character in The Lost Gold who gets cursed after finding Jack Gold. The sign-in host for the game.

  • A Pirate 400 Years Too Late
  • Curse: Gets under one in the intro video (for loading the game for the first time), as such he's trapped for eternity being the game's sign-in host that haunts the "Studio" and the player(s) have to accumulate a total of $1,000,000 to free him. In fact, the pirate-themed Impossible Questions in The Lost Gold are him attempting to speed up the process.

Billy O'Brien

Cookie's Ventriquism puppet and question reader of the "Who's the Dummy?" questions in 2011 the first iOS game, OUYA, and Party.
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