Characters / The Sue Files

The characters in The Sue Files.

---

Players and DM:

DM!Marty

• Angst Dissonance: According to MM&I, he frequently complains about minimal noises or other stimuli blaming it on his "supernaturally acute" senses, while getting angry at implications that he was simply over-sensitive. This bogs his games down every time he decides he's being overstimulated and stops all action to "recover".
• Berserk Button: Gets positively furious when the players make jokes at the expense of his OCs (or fail to act suitably impressed/awed by them). Expect Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies whenever he's described as getting angry.
• Blatant Lies: Claims to never railroad the players as he lets them try anything they want to do. The fact the laws of physics and established setting seem to change at random to specifically shoot down all of their ideas except the ones that put them on an undefined critical path says otherwise.
• Can't Take Criticism: Whenever criticism is voiced at his setting, DM-ing style or setting, he will either punish that player's character in-game, go on a long tirade on why he is right, change the setting and rules of the game to invalidate that criticism (without addressing it), or all of the above.
• Even Evil Has Standards: When he comments that he would have given Darya a Charisma and Wisdom penalty if she had gotten a scar as being less attractive would have made her feel less human, he is quick to retract it and actually apologize when MM&I confronts him about it. He later gives Cael a Wisdom penalty for being wounded in the eye anyway.
• Hypocrite: Attempts to derail the plot and play as an overpowered character with zero regard for the story or other characters in Deadlands. When he's in the GM seat, he purposefully nerfs every player character, demands his story be followed to a T and gets enraged when they attempt to do anything he doesn't expect/allow them.
• Killer DM: And how. Some of the characters are even removed from the game on a whim on tenuous grounds of being "unfit".
• Never My Fault: Is noted to never apologize or admit he's wrong, ever, with the only exception being the incident with Darya's scar.
• Rooting for the Empire: Literally so, as he idolizes the Empire from Star Wars, especially once he makes Villain!Marty take over as Emperor and turns it into his omniversal invasion force.
• Small Name, Big Ego: To the point he makes it an actual rule at the table that the player characters can't know something he doesn't because he is by definition the smartest person in the setting, despite failing to understand even basic physics concepts.
• Smug Snake: Described as constantly smiling whenever he's deliberately feeding the players confusing information or throwing nerfs on their characters.
• Who Dares?: "How dare you!" is prominently thrown around in his rants when putting down players and player characters alike.

Zeroller

The first writer for the blog.

Me,Myself and I

The writer that takes over narration after Zeroller's scientist character is removed from the game.

---

Player Characters and NPC's

The Scientist

Player: Zeroller

Zeroller's unnamed first character in the homebrew campaign.

• Deadpan Snarker: Makes light of the situation whenever DM!Marty tries to ham up the gravitas. The second time he does it, Marty straight up deletes his character from the game.
• Guile Hero: While the weakest character of the group, he manages to finish a mission by merely fast-talking the enemy into thinking they've been scammed and tricking them into letting themselves be taken into custody.
• No Good Deed Goes Unpunished:He's removed from the game via being permanently put in a psychiatric ward for disobeying (unspoken) orders to let backup finish his mission, instead managing to end it diplomatically and without bloodshed.
• Mind over Matter: His main "combat" power is talekinesis. Unfortunately under the homebrew system rules this amounts to flinging pebbles, and even then the backlash from that spell stops him from doing it more than a few times in succession.

Igor

The Scientist's assistant and experiment.

• Assassin Outclassin': Attempts to sneak after Blackhawk in the first session. Of course, Blackhawk doesn't even acknowledge her attempt at stealth.
• Disproportionate Retribution: DM!Marty lays on her player when she kills two gnolls who tried to extort the party. This is the final incident that leads her player to retire her.
• Distaff Counterpart: Described as "a female Alex Mercer".
• Wolverine Claws: Her weapon of choice.
• The Worf Barrage: She finds her attacks do nearly to no damage to Stormtroopers of all things.

Rick

Player: Anonymous Friend #1

A soldier from the Death Korps of Krieg in the Warhammer 40K universe.

• Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Takes out a high-level devil within the first hour of him playing, thanks to a timely distraction by Blackhawk allowing him to blow the fiend up.
• Gun Nut: Loves his guns and is excited to add weapons of every sort to his arsenal.
• Human Popsicle: Lily freezes his body after he dies. It's implied she flees to Eberron with him to revive him in an universe outside of Villain!Marty's reach.
• Little Useless Gun: Being a Death Korpsman, he starts the game with a lasgun, and it's just as pathetic in the homebrew system as it is in its original one, hitting for 1d6 damage when most other guns hit for 3 or 4 dice per shot.
• The Hero Dies: The one party member that played the campaign from beginning to end gets unceremoniously killed by the Marty clone.
• The Worf Barrage: Throws everything he can at the Marty clone that attacks the MIC base. The clone NoSells everything.

Lily

Player: Me, Myself & I

An ice sorceress that joins the party to replace Igor.

• An Ice Person: Her element of choice.
• Laser-Guided Amnesia: Being originally a character from a former campaign, she has forgotten everything about her previous exploits.
• The Mole: Her backstory makes her a spy from the lich city, planted in the party to keep an eye on them after they attempt to attack them.
• We Have Reserves: She helps the party traverse the Tomb of Horrors by constantly summoning ice monsters to soak up its death-traps.

Darya

Player: Anonymous Friend #1

An ex-enforcer from the Russian mafia, one of the characters in the Cthulhutech campaign.

• Distaff Counterpart: Referred to as a female version of Rick.
• Gatling Good: She prefers using heavy firearms in combat.

Jin

Player: Anonymous

A decker ally of Darya from the Cthulhutech campaign.

• Affably Evil: He keeps tabs on the rest of the party and even has blackmail material on them to ensure their collaboration, but is more than happy helping and supporting the party as long as they don't turn on him.
• Car Fu: Manages to kill two dhohanoids by smashing a hovertruck into them.
• Mission Control: Prefers to use his skills to guide Darya from a distance, never getting into the thick of battle.
• Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Blue to Darya's red, being more calculating and cautious.

Tera

Player: Me, Myself and I

A Tager (eldritch shapeshifter) party member from the Cthulhutech campaign.

• Bare-Fisted Monk: He invested into martial arts training so that he's still handy in a fight without having to shapeshift.
• Heroic Sacrifice: He soaks up a lethal fireball from a lich to save the party.
• Parental Abandonment: His hook to join the campaign is finding information on his missing parents.
• We Hardly Knew Ye: Dies within a couple paragraphs of being introduced, after a couple missions.

Jame

Player: Anonymous

A Tager player character in the Cthulhutech campaign.

• We Hardly Knew Ye: Dies in the same battle as Tera.

Ian

Player: Me, Myself and I

A human character from the Cthulhutech campaign.

• An Ice Person: Is in possession of Lily's spellbook from the homebrew campaign, allowing him to use her spells.
• Player Avatar: Is described as being an exact expy of his player.

Cael

Player:Anonymous

A tinkerer working for the Scions of Forever who joins the Cthulhutech party.

• The Alcoholic: Always carries around high-proof alcohol, both to drink and to turn into fuel for his weapons.
• Have You Seen My God? : Yog-Sototh stops sending him visions towards the end of the campaign, with the explanation being that it's dead or heavily weakened.
• Mind over Matter: Has minor telekinetic powers, which according to DM!Marty "create a projection of damage", meaning they only work on living creatures and can't be used in any utilitarian way.
• Munchkin: He builds his character up specifically to attempt to avoid DM!Marty's shenanigans. He at least puts up a valiant effort.
• Oireland: Plays with the Irish stereotype, mostly so that she has an excuse to lug around high-proof alcohol for her incendiary weapons.
• Religion of Evil: Is a cultist of Yog-Sototh, tasked with bringing about its bidding.
• We Need a Distraction: Pretends to be blackout drunk to distract the guards during a mission, so the rest of the party can sneak in.

Blackhawk

An agent from the MIC who recruits the party in the homebrew game.

• Big Damn Heroes: DM!Marty retcons Rick slaying a cornugon into Blackhawk saving him from the devil.
• Face–Heel Turn: Joins Villain!Marty immediately upon him attacking the MIC base.
• GMPC: Fulfills this role until Villain!Marty can steal the scene.

Villain!Marty

• A God Am I: DM!Marty adds the Eye of Mahdi to the Cthulhutech campaign, heavily implying it foretells the coming of Villain!Marty to the setting (and thus that he IS Mahdi)
• Badass Normal: Before awakening to his Authyr powers, he implies his "berzerker blood" makes him strong enough to dispatch two armed men with no effort. Notably, as it happens right after the split that leads to the creation of the setting, this implies DM!Marty is the same.
• Charm Person: He is able to convince anyone to do anything by the power of his charisma alone, be it convincing Palpatine to abdicate the Empire in his favor or any agents like Blackhawk to instantly switch to his side.
• Cut Lex Luthor a Check: In Zeroller's words, one of the first things he did upon becoming omnipotent was giving himself one billion dollars and he still steals cable.
• Faux Affably Evil: Tries to appear as a reasonable authority figure who is happy to sit down and discuss his motivations with his enemies even in the middle of a battle. He's still a petty tyrant who thinks atomizing entire inhabited planets qualifies as a "warning shot".
• For the Evulz: Exactly zero reasoning is given for Villain!Marty suddenly deciding that his calling is to conquer the omniverse, disrupting countless lives and killing billions of innocents in his crusade, except a vague reference at it being "what he's always wanted all along".
• No-Sell: Having given himself cherry-picked powers from a system that already veers towards making insanely tanky characters, he ends up shrugging off anything thrown at him.
• Our Vampires Are Different: Villain!Marty gives himself the powers of a specific variety of vampire written by DM!Marty, which among other things can subsist on as little as a cup of blood per day and is completely immune to most things that would kill a vampire - sunlight included.
• Pushy Gun-Toting Villain: On a multiversal scale. His MO of taking over an universe is to threaten to destroy inhabited planets until all sentient life agrees to be subjugated by him. Most notably, he starts destroying planets ''before'' even making his demands.
• Smug Snake: When he (or rather, his clone) confronts Rick, he makes it pointedly clear he's literally allowing him to put up any kind of resistance only for as long as he finds it amusing.
• The Social Darwinist: Believes anyone except the strongest being in the universe doesn't deserve free will. Good thing he can just turn himself into the strongest being in the universe effortlessly.
• Tom the Dark Lord: Marty isn't too threatening a name for a villain, though it's a pseudonym the writers allege to be using to avoid breaking down laughing at the villain's actual name.
• Utopia Justifies the Means: At least in his mind, as he claims he's the only one suitable to establish a perfect rule in the entire omniverse - never mind that said rule involves what amounts to slavery for everyone involved and direct mind control of anyone with a shred of authority.