Character page for Space King
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Space King's Legion
In General
- The Empire: They are an expansionist space empire that regularly uses genocide bombs on other aliens.
Star Defenders
In General
- Asshole Victim: The Captain and Hatemonger are killed off but given they were genocidal xenophobic psychopaths (who were also massive jerks to their own teammates) and the Alien Queen was genuinely reasonably and trying to care for her children, their deaths are entirely karmic.
- Crippling Castration: The processs of becoming a Star Defender involves their testicles being removed and replaced with "Holy Globules".
- Expy: Of the Space Marines from Warhammer 40k being super-soldiers who gain their musculature from an implant. Them seeing Space King as their father is a reference to how the God-Emperor's "sons", the Primarchs, were used as genetic templates for the Space Marines.
- Expressive Mask: The helmets of the characters can can change expressions, with their visors even lining up with their wearers eye movements.
- Laughably Evil: Being the savage killing machines they are, they'd be pretty scary if they weren't so stupid and ineffectual.
- Painful Transformation: Even if the "applicant" wasn't screaming in pain and fear the whole time, it's clear that becoming a Legionnaire is a mighty unpleasant experience.
- Psychopathic Manchild: The Legionnaires behave like moody, hormonal teenagers when they aren't slaughtering their way across the stars. Which makes sense, being that they're legions of preteen boys converted into roided-out killing machines.
- Rage Helm: Their helmets have a massive scowl on them.
- Testosterone Poisoning: Figuratively and literally, as the procedure of creating Star Defenders is implied to involve replacing a boy's testicles with "Holy Globules" that turn them into muscle-bound ragemonkeys (while retaining the overall mindset of prepubescent boys engaging in a power fantasy).
- Villain Protagonist: The Star Defenders are a bunch of genocidal psychopaths, the Captain being the most dickish of the bunch.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: Their desire to find Space King and earn his approval comes across as some boys who just want their father to love them.
- Would Hurt a Child: Legions recruit new soldiers by raiding worlds for young boys to alter and indoctrinate. Young girls instead get tossed into a volcano.
Captain
Voiced by: Don
- Blood Knight: Even leaving aside his penchant for flinging Geno-bombs at all his problems, Captain is very aggressive and quick to resort to violence. Despite leading a formation known as a Reclaimer Squad, whose primary duty is tracking down and retrieving Space King's artifacts, he believes his job is, "cracking heads", as he puts it.
- Dumb Muscle: He's a complete meathead that leaps, punches, shoots, or Geno-Bombs before he thinks. He'll even do something as stupid as shut off communications with High Command simply because he doesn't want to hear his voice.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": He's only ever referred to as "Captain."
- Hair-Trigger Temper: The guy always seems to be angry, and the slightest bit of frustration is all it takes for him to want to drop a Geno-Bomb.
- Karmic Death: The Captain is killed shortly after he threw a grenade at the Alien Queen and her children, even after the Alien queen returned the Space King's essence back to the relic. Had he just left her alone she wouldn't have attacked him and caused his death.
- Leeroy Jenkins: His first plan for every endeavor is to rush in and kill whatever looks like a threat. If that doesn't work, his Plan B is to call in a Genocide Bomb. His overuse of the latter results in High Command banning him from using it, and the former gets two of his brothers-in-arms killed.
- Never My Fault: He pins all the blame for being on the wrong planet on Bryce, solely for not reading the briefing that the Captain should by all accounts have also read. He also turned off the radio, preventing High Command from telling him he was on the wrong planet until the Legion was neck-deep in war.
- Pet the Dog: When Bryce lays dying, he shows some degree of respect to him, telling his subordinate he doesn't hate him and acknowledges that maybe he should listen to at least some of Bryce's more diplomatic ideas.
- Stupid Evil: The Captain hates Aliens so much he is willing to genocide an entire planet which gets him reprimanded for wasting resources especially since the planet wasn't their original target. He also throws a bomb at the alien after she kept her end of the bargain and was planning on staying out of their way, leading to her attacking him and causing his death.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Refers to his squad as retards, and even yells into a dying Bryce's face that he thinks he's stupid.
Chestnut
Voiced by: Don
- Expy: Of the Apothecaries from Warhammer 40k, given they are tasked with collecting the Globules/Gene-seeds from the corpses of their comrades.
- Punny Name: He's in charge of guarding the Holy Globules, which he keeps stored in a capsule in his chest. He's holding the nuts on his chest.
- Sole Survivor: He's the only member of the squad to survive the pilot episode.
- Meaningful Name: Chestnut collects the "globules" of his fallen comrades and put them in a compartment on his chest. Doubles as a Punny Name.
- Skull for a Head: His helmets design, which notably leaves him with a very awkwardly sized and placed visor to look out of. Ironically, he's one of the meeker and less intimidating Star Defenders.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: He finally gets a chance to look badass when he shoots the Alien Queen and kills her instantly. Unfortunately, her corpse knocks over the artifact, destroying the soul fragment of Space King, killing his Captain, failing the mission completely, and leaving him with the unpleasant task of extracting all his comrades' Holy Globules.
Bryce
Voiced by: Tom
- Affably Evil: He is genuinely nice and friendly despite being a member of a genocidal organization.
- Ditzy Genius: Bryce is smart enough to create a translator that would allow him to understand alien languages, but is just the right amount of stupid to jam the device directly into a target's skull causing them to let out nothing apart from now comprehensible screams.
- Girls Have Cooties: Granted, all legionnaires have this attitude, but Bryce takes it to the point of assuming Captain would need his translation device to speak to a female alien who is already speaking their language, because he'd have to "...untangle her complicated emotions".
- Nerd Glasses: His helmet has big round eyes evoking coke bottle glasses.
- Token Good Teammate: Well, as good as a legionnaire can be. He is the least violent member, trying to convince the Captain to not genocide the blue aliens (even if he admits he thinks it would be sweet) and was the first to suggest negotiating with the Alien Queen.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: Relative to the other legionnaires, anyway. He's more likely to counsel against unnecessarily excessive violence, even if he thinks its pretty sweet, and likes suggesting innovative or unorthodox strategies.
- Your Answer to Everything: Once he invents it, he really wants to use his translator on any xeno the team encounters, including the Alien Queen who is speaking their actual language to them.
Hatemonger
Voiced by: Tom
- Absolute Xenophobe: The lone Hatemonger in Captain's squad is the only one not transfixed by the alien queen's boobs, on the grounds that she's an alien (to the sniggering of the rest of the team). In the Captain's Sweatshop ad short, Captain claims that the Hatemongers condemned the production of the promotional t-shirts as "heresy", since the Star Defenders are using captive aliens for materials.
- A Dog Named "Dog": A member of the Hatemongers Legion who goes by the name of Hatemonger, since he's the only representative of his Legion among the Star Defenders.
- The Faceless: Hatemonger is the only member of the reclaimer squad whose face we never see. His helmets mouth/visor is very small and high up, so even when it's open his face is completely hidden.
- Mistaken for Gay: His disinterest in the Alien Queen's breasts lead the rest of the squad to assume he's gay.
- Not Distracted by the Sexy: Thanks to his extreme hatred of aliens, he's the only member of the squad to not be affected by the sight of the Alien Queen's breasts.
- Pragmatic Villainy: He despises aliens more than the rest of his team, but notes that since the Alien Queen is absorbing Space King's soul energy they can't just kill her without harming Space King.
- Hidden Depths: He's mentioned to have some fascination with statistics, is well read on history and lore, and is tactically savvy enough to realize something is very wrong when they first find the artifact. He also seems to be the go to man for any interrogations the team needs to conduct, even if his technique leaves a lot to be desired.
Xavery
- Decoy Protagonist: He's the character the pilot focuses on at the beginning, starting when he's a little boy captured by the Star Defenders, turned into one of them, and loaded onto a dropship to deliver a message to the Captain. Said dropship is then unceremoniously shot down and he dies shortly afterward.
- Hope Spot: He briefly escapes being captured by a Star defender and laughs in relief before being kicked into a tube where he meets his fate.
- Painful Transformation: We're treated to the sight of his transformation into a roided-up supersoldier. It's not pretty and he spends the entire process screaming in pain. It doesn't help that it starts with a machine ripping off his testicles and grafting the Holy Globules in their place.
Others
Space King
Voiced by:Christopher Tester
- Celibate Hero: A tapestry of the Space King depicts him shielding his eyes whilst he combats dozens of scantily clad alien temptresses.
- Have You Seen My God?: Or God-Emperor in this case. The Space King vanished for unknown reasons and part of the goal of his men is to find him.
High Command
Voiced by: Tom
- Da Chief: He spends all his screen time berating the Star Defenders for their incompetence and wasteful use of Geno Bombs much like an exasperated police chief.
- Oracular Head: He is a giant talking robotic skull hooked to a wall.
- Pragmatic Villainy: He reprimands Captain for wasting geno-bombs and bans him from using any further to preserve their resources.
- Skull for a Head: He's nothing but a skull. A fifty-foot metal skull connected to assorted tubes in the wall.
- Surrounded by Idiots: High Command does not have a high opinion of the Star Defenders' intelligence, treating them more like insolent and stupid teenagers than legions of bloodthirsty and psychotic super soldiers.
- Vocal Dissonance: The gigantic metal skull speaks with shrill nasally voice that's not nearly as intimidating as his appearance belies.
Aliens
Blue Aliens
- Defiant to the End: The blue alien king may have been overpowered by the much larger Star Defenders, mercilessly beaten, interrogated and had a dubious translator device jammed into his skull, but the moment his foes don't have him physically restrained he pulls a gun and fires one last defiant blast right into the Captains crotch.
- Expy: Their blue skin, preference for laser weaponry, and vertical cavities on their faces bring to mind the Tau.
- Starfish Language: They communicate by blowing raspberries.
Alien Queen
Voiced by: Tom
- Boob-Based Gag: The Alien queen has comically large breasts bigger than her entire torso which cause the Star Defenders to be awestruck (Besides Hatemonger). She even says that they're "severely depleted" due to malnourishment, meaning that they're supposed to be even bigger.
- Composite Character: A strange alien with weaponized biology, a tail and raptorial limbs from the waist down whose favorite meal is human flesh (Tyranid), and a smooth-talking, hilariously busty Cute Monster Girl from the waist up (Daemon; specifically a Keeper of Secrets).
- Dark Is Not Evil: Despite her freaky appearance, she is fully willing to honor the deal she makes with the Star Defenders and really does just want to take care of her children.
- Expy: Of a Tyranid, as a powerful insectoid xeno that can tear armored soldiers with ease, aided by its adaptive abilities. Her design is also is similar to a Demon of Slaanesh, which have arthropodian pincers, and often are oversexualized.
- I Have Boobs, You Must Obey!: The Alien flashes her enormous breasts at the Star Defenders, causing 3 out of 4 of them to be enamored.
- Mama Bear: After Captain throws a grenade at her and her children, she immediately lunges at him.
- Monster Is a Mommy: She reveales she has several young children she is nurturing.
- Non-Malicious Monster: The Alien Queen only wanted to negotiate with the Legionaires to bring herself and her children back to the dimension her kin was from. She only attacks them once they attack her first, and even gives back the soul of the Space King back into the aftifact. Not that it stops Captain from blowing her up afterwards.
- Torpedo Tits: She is able to shoot lasers from her tits after absorbing Space King's power. According to her, they ought to be larger, but Space King's energy doesn't provide the nutrients for that.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: After being staying on on the moon for thousands of years he is given a holy globule to help feed her children so they can have the strength to leave. Then, the Captain throws a grenade at them.
- Your Head A-Splode: Her head is blown up by Chestnut.
Metal Men
- And I Must Scream: Their souls are trapped in their metal bodies no matter what happens. The Legionaires turn them into aglets for their promotional hoodies. Shortly afterwards the camera zooms into one of said aglets, which was letting out a faint screaming sound.
- Cute Machines: Unlike the creepy Skelebot 9000 designs of their inspiration, the Metal Men or at least the one we see, looks more like a diminutive Tin-Can Robot that couldn't hurt anyone if it tried. The nervous demeanor it displays only adds to the cuteness.
- Expy: Of the Necrons, but being robotic aliens that contain the soul of their previous spieces.
