Jon StewartThe main protagonist. After being taunted by Dick Cheney, a glowing baseball bat appears in front of Jon, who uses it to kill monsters. It later turns out that the fate of the world is in his hands.
Stephen ColbertFound a magic staff under his studio, allowing him to use fire powers. Cheney wants a gem on the end of the staff, causing him to capture and brainwash Colbert, hoping it will get him killed and he can take the staff.
Steve CarellHas the ability to control money to form any shape he desires. Also, occasionally, to exorcise people with it.
John OliverIs a Time Lord, but cannot remember the events leading up to the end of the Time War and his arrival on earth.
Samantha Bee and Jason JonesSam and Jason mistake the apocalypse for the signal to start the Canadian invasion of America. Sam wields an ice hockey stick, while Jason shoots exploding roses.
Dick CheneyIs secretly an evil alien overlord who has taken over multiple universes, with his sights now set on Earth. Apparantly spent years sowing enough fear and hate for his invasion to go off without any major problems.
Stephanos and YonatanThe evil twins of Stephen and Jon. Cheney's most trusted henchmen, these two act as heralds when Cheney begins his assault on an unsuspecting universe.