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Rallyball
Dominique Hasek
Played By: Austin Yorski
Half-orc monk who acts as team goalie. She has an unhealthy fixation on the team's mascot, Pennysworth.- Honor Before Reason: She believes in fair play above everything else; her philosophy is that a victory earned by cheating isn't a real victory. She even calls out Jacq for poor sportsmanship (not that she needs to; the referee is a Beholder and sees everything.)
- Stalker with a Crush: She's obsessed with Pennysworth.
Dirk 'Slippy' Mc Nabb
Played By: Johnny Maloney
Half-elf rogue who's mostly in it for the brand deals.- Dual Wielding: In classic rogue tradition.
Ellis Fartek
Played By: Nik Freeman
Dwarf fighter and a veteran of the game. He's suffered numerous concussions as a result.- Back in the Saddle: Accidentally. He'd been retired for a good while, hinting at a comeback whenever he needed new brand deals, but he accidentally signed a new one without noticing the stipulation that he'd have to actually come out of retirement.
- Dump Stat: His intelligence is actually fairly high, but his wisdom is definitely not. Nik characterizes this as Ellis knowing every single play but having no idea when to use them.
Jacq Henson
Played By: Peter Bowman
Human barbarian who just likes hitting people.- Dumb Muscle: He's really only in the game because he likes fighting people. Sometimes he even forgets there's a point-scoring part of the game.
- He completely forgets about how he'd stomped on an opposing player's leg by the time he goes back to the locker room even though doing so caused him to have to sit out the next round.
Coach-Mascot Pennysworth
The team's mascot and coach, whose species is currently unknown due to his giant pangolin costume(?).
- Ambiguously Human: Is he a humanoid in a pangolin costume? Is he a giant pangolin? Is he a pangolin outfit that has been animated by some sort of sapience magic?
- Ambiguous Situation: When the Pangolins come out to the field for their second game, the lights flicker off and back on to reveal Pennysworth's costume(?) lying empty in the middle of the field.
Mr. Spooky's House of Fun
Henri Enderman
Played By: Jane Aerith Magnet
An extremely flirty Tabaxi rogue.
- Ethical Slut: He considers consent to be of the utmost importance, and refuses to do anything he knows the object of his affection is uncomfortable with.
- Extreme Omnisexual: Flirts with pretty much everything. Austin points out that an anthropomorphic cat flirting with a literal talking ocelot is a bit out there even for Dice Funk's relationships.
- Punny Name: When spoken aloud in Jane's faux-french accent, Henri's full name sounds like 'horny on the main'.
- Token Good Teammate: He's certainly better than the extreme capitalist and racist jester he's teamed up with.
- Weird Currency: Henri wins a large number of rats from an ocelot which can later be turned in for chips. Turns out the rats were the ocelot's dinner; the person doing the rats-to-chips exchange was trying to get some back for him.
Roger Byron McQuack V
Played By: Laura Kate Dale
An incredibly wealthy duck Aarakocra with a small army of other duck Aarakocra as his personal servants.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: He has no qualms about Spookanelli abducting people and forcing them to work at his casino beyond that fact that he's been abducted.
- Expy: Of Scrooge McDuck.
- Infinite Supplies: He goes all-in at the first porker table he sees and promptly loses all of the money he has on him. He simply calls a servant to bring him a new pile of money so he can keep playing.
- Insane Troll Logic: After losing repeatedly in the beginners area, McQuack comes to the conclusion that it's because the games are too easy for him to properly win.
- Managing to win his first game outside the beginners area just confirms it in his mind.
McQuack: The game's below my station and as such, obviously, it's just not working. So, up the ante, what's the challenge?
Henri: Are you trying to introduce horseshoe theory to gambling? - Only in It for the Money: He has so much that he's mostly just trying to enjoy himself, but his only objection to Spookanelli's job offer is that it would get in the way of his making more money.
- Wild Magic: With his own custom wild magic table written up by Lauren.
Marquis Hailquim
Played By: Jim Sterling
A Half-Elf bard and washed-up jester. He believes he's still perfectly funny and blames his lack of work and (literally) crippling debt on audiences being too sensitive these days.
- Animorphism: When he accepts Spookanelli's job offer he's turned into a hairless dog.
- Jaded Washout: It's unclear if he was actually all that successful or just egotistical, but it was almost certainly better than now.
- Knee Capping: The result of his numerous debt problems.Hailquim: If I eat a rat now, I can save some money for Big Kev, and he don't have to take me other kneecap.
- Never My Fault: As a parody of comedians who blame political correctness for a decline in popularity, he never considers the idea that people just don't like his jokes, even as he steals puns from the casino for his act.
- Small Name, Big Ego: He's convinced everyone already knows who he is.
- Villain Has a Point: When Spookanelli starts complaining about regulations and his gambimals being considered unfit for children Hailquim enthusiastically agrees and starts soapboxing about political correctness.
- Your Heart's Desire: Everything Hailquim ever wanted is to be paid to perform and to say whatever he wants. When Spookanelli offers him this he immediately accepts.
- This also means that when McQuack offers him the exact same thing with the bonus that the audience isn't allowed to complain he immediately switches sides again.
Jebediah Spookanelli
Mr. Spooky to his friends, the founder and owner of Mr. Spooky's House of Fun. After government regulations stopped him from selling toys promoting gambling, he made a deal with some devils so he could open his casino. Now he lures people in and turns them into animals, making them new employees.
- Animorphism: His magic can turn people into animals.
- Big Bad: He acts as the antagonist and final boss of the one-shot.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: He started his company with demon magic to avoid regulations and gets new employees by transforming and brainwashing his customers.
- Deal with the Devil: He made some demonic pacts so he could skip regulations on running his casino.
- Sapient House: Turns out he is the casino. Lauren makes a specific reference to Monster House.
- Walking Spoiler: Since he only actually shows up as the final boss, basically everything about him beyond completely basic information is a spoiler.
Three Octopuses in a Trench Coat
The Octopi as a Whole
- Doppelgänger: After seducing Susan the octopi learn enough about what humans look like to look just like her.
- Interspecies Romance: With the human Susan. At least, Specimen 7 and WRREAH are involved; Bob mostly just seems happy their compatriots have found love.
- Totem Pole Trench: Their means of escape.
Specimen 7
Played By: Jane Aerith Magnet
An octopus previously owned by 'kind of a weeb'. Having seen plenty of hentai, they've come to the conclusion that octopi are simply superior to humans.
- Armed Legs: In a roundabout way. They're the 'legs' of the disguised octopi and at one point use this position to stab a hostile employee with a syringe.
- Interspecies Romance: Between themself, WRREAH, and the human Susan.
- Non-Indicative Name: Specimen 7 was named by their previous owner who only had one octopus.
WRREAH
Played By: Mari
An octopus whose consumption of hentai has led them to believe that female humans are unable to resist their seduction.
- Blood Knight: If they don't think they can seduce an obstacle, they're often the first to suggest murder.
- Interspecies Romance: Between themself, Specimen 7, and the human Susan.
- Talking to Themself: According to their introduction, their eight brains will sometimes argue between themselves.
- The Unpronouncable: They previously lived in the ocean, hence the name. Now they just go by whatever humans call them.
Bob
Played By: Casey Explosion
An octopus who is convinced that they can accomplish absolutely anything.
- Glad I Thought of It: They immediately refer to any new idea as if it were their own idea due to forming the 'brain' of the tower.
- Octopus Cannonball: According to their introduction, their preferred method of attack is to use their arms to slingshot themselves at people.
- People Puppets: Due to thinking they can accomplish anything they have a particular fixation on finding out how to jump on someone's head and pilot them around.
- They eventually come to the conclusion that, if they can't control someone through poking their brain, they can at least knock them out and walk them around by grabbing their arms and legs. They finally accomplish this after drugging an employee.
Inheritors
Elena Carpathian
Played By: Cat Thompson
An air genasi fighter specializing in eldritch swordfighting. Her Magical Girl form is a frilly sailor fuku lined with light chainmail.- Genre Savvy: She's started to get wise to the consistency of Asherin's plans. Namely how she seems to have a new minion and plan on a weekly basis.
- I Just Want to Be Normal: She thinks the magical girl stuff is dumb.
- The Leader: Reluctantly. She's in charge because she's the most responsible one in the group despite her dislike of the magical girl side of her life.
- Named Weapons: When she gained her powers she was given a sword called the Radiant Zephyr of the Heavens. She then renamed it Stabitha.
Hazel Sicily
Played By: Ace
A lizardfolk druid with aspirations to become an herbalist. Her Magical Girl form consists of her putting her shawl on top of her head.- Gentle Giant: Shy and gentle despite being a seven-foot-tall lizard person.
- Naïve Newcomer: It's only her first day as an active Inheritor. As such, what she's lacking in experience she makes up for in enthusiasm, and clearly isn't expecting Barb's weirdness or Elena's bitterness.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Her transformation to her magical girl form is simply pulling her shawl up, which is considerably less of a disguise from Elena's complete outfit change and Barb's species change.
- Toast of Tardiness: Quinn brings up toast and reminds Ace that her character is late specifically to ensure this trope is fulfilled.
Barb
Played By: Lauren Morgan
A selkie warlock. She typically works for the Council of Seals to take care of seal problems. Her Magical Girl form is a glowing pink seal.- Breath Weapon: A regular attack of hers has her cough up fish-breath. Her special attack has her deliver a sonic 'bork' noise and fire a beam from her mouth.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: On account of her mentality being closer to a seal than a human. This leads to her doing things like eating raw fish while in human form and headbutting a window to open it because she's forgotten she has hands.
- The Unpronouncable: Her given name is made up of seal noises.
- Voluntary Shapeshifter: As a selkie she can shift between human and seal forms.
Puddles
A fairy dragon and guardian to the main group of Inheritors.
- Enemy-Detecting Radar: He can sense when Queen Asherin's minions arrive in the vicinity, and his primary job seems to be informing the Inheritors of this and covering for their disappearances.
- Mentor Mascot: Fits this role in the group, albeit with a deep east coast accent.
Queen Asherin
An eladrin queen who was deposed from her throne in the Fae Wilds. She's since decided that she'll just transition into queen of everything via weekly invasion attempt.
- Astral Projection: She doesn't show up in person, instead using a ghostly projection of herself to carry out her plan at the well and fight the Inheritors.
- Evil Overlord: Despite being deposed, she has aspirations to be this to the entire world.
- God Save Us from the Queen!: If she was anything like she is now before being ousted, this is probably what sparked that particular coup.
- Water Source Tampering: She's behind General Darkhelm's attempt, which is really a distraction from her own water source tampering; by turning the wishing well into a portal to her realm, all of the children's Founder's Day wishes would be rerouted to her. She could then fulfill those wishes, making warlock pacts with numerous unwitting children.
General Darkhelm
The Monster of the Week. A fomorian general working for Queen Asherin who recently appeared at the zoo.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Barb takes out his darkling minions in one shot. He fights for a couple more rounds, but the Inheritors pretty quickly talk him out if it.
- Heel–Face Turn: The Inheritors (well, Barb and Hazel) pick apart his motivations and convince him that he'll more likely find happiness in learning to love himself than in casting the world into eternal darkness.
- Large Ham: He brings his stereotypical booming villain voice into his later attempts at making a dating profile and getting a makeover.
- True Beauty Is on the Inside: His wants to make the world as ugly as the fomorians are cursed to be. Barb and Hazel reason with him that he could instead thwart the curse by learning to love himself and being a better person.
- Water Source Tampering: He's first seen trying to open the water supply at the zoo. His objective is to poison the water with mutagens, interrupting the upcoming Founder's Day festival and causing a distraction so Asherin can accomplish her real objective.
Kill Frosty
Herjolf
Played By: Brennan Blank
A human ranger with a bear companion. He takes the job for the promise of a mighty trophy.- Battle Trophy: He wants to take Frosty's pipe. This proves difficult as it's as big as he is.
- Drunk on Milk: His polar bear is addicted to caffeinated soda. This is presented exactly the same way as alcoholism.
Gorbo Gutterslump
Played By: Dan Leonard
A goblin artificer who runs a terrible awful toy factory.- Bad Boss: He refuses to give Little Whiskers' father the holiday off. When Gorbo discovers that he's been working the factory even while under siege by Frosty, Gorbo agrees to let him see his son... by hiring him so they can work the production line together.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Aside from being a horrible boss his toys are overpriced garbage, he's looking into using child labor, and he sells guns to kids.
- Only in It for the Money: He's only trying to kill Frosty so he can sell action figures of him at the holiday festival.
Olli
Played By: Joa
A gnome rogue who used to be a friend of Frosty's.- I Just Want to Have Friends: She's actually quite lonely and even made up being a friend of Frosty's, as he had only been created a short time earlier.
- Her gift from Father Winter is a pair of animated figures of the other party members to keep her company.
- Improbable Weapon User: She has a reindeer antler she uses as a sword and two sharpened candy canes for knives.
- What You Are in the Dark: She gets the opportunity to leave Gorbo to die and thinks about it really hard. She caves and saves him when he offers to cut her in on a new business venture.
Mayor Richman
The mayor of the town and client of the bounty hunters.
- Corrupt Politician: His only motive for killing the giant rampaging Frosty monster is to avoid having to cancel the holiday festivities and lose revenue.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Aside from holding the position of mayor, his actual legal name is Mayor Richman. He's also a rich man who is the mayor.
- Expy: He's overtly the mayor from Jaws as a fantasy elephant-man.
- Honorable Elephant: Subverted. He's an elephant-man but he's also an incredibly sleazy politician. He doesn't, however, make it to Cruel Elephant due to his lack of aggressiveness.
