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Law Offices of Guns, Puns, and Justice Characters

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Player Characters

    Elvira Rose 
Played By: Laura Kate Dale
A very goth aarakocra warlock. She likes talking to ghosts. Elvira Rose isn't her legal name.
  • Genre Savvy: She assumes everything works like it does in fiction. Unlike most depictions of this trope it doesn't seem that useful since this often leads her to jump to the most dramatic possible conclusions without regard for whether or not they're plausible.
  • I See Dead People: Part of her warlock powers is being able to communicate with ghosts.
  • Leave Me Alone!: Ever since Elvira discovered she could speak with ghosts, she does it all the time and the ghosts just want her to please stop it.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: She tells Damascus that she and her team hid incriminating evidence in Siks' garbage ooze. Damascus buys it because he thinks they're actually stupid enough to tell him something like that.
    Damascus: You just gave us a perfect clue! We'll make sure to send the men back into the ooze pit to go looking.
    Elvira: Oh no! Ah, we're such bad lawyers!
  • Right for the Wrong Reasons: Elvira believes Siks was murdered because she wanted to become a lich. However, she thinks it was someone trying to keep her from killing everyone in the tower; really, Zagdu just didn't want another lich running around.
  • Rule of Pool: Immediately falls into the ooze pit in Siks' tower. Fortunately Magnus helps her out.

    Magnus Finkwhistle of the Harkraven Finkwhistles heir to the Finkwhistle estate 
Played By: Conrad Zimmerman
A high elf sorcerer who went into law so he can defend the defenseless. The innocent in this case being whoever tells him they're innocent.
  • Full-Name Basis: Whenever Magnus Finkwhistle of the Harkraven Finkwhistles heir to the Finkwhistle estate or anyone else mentions his name, it is always the full name, no short forms.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: He's incredibly naive and believes anyone who tells him they're innocent or guilty.
    • He takes people at face value to the point that he refuses to perform insight checks.
    Magnus: Magnus Finkwhistle of the Harkraven Finkwhistles heir to the Finkwhistle estate doesn't do insight.
  • Sheltered Aristocrat: He's not stupid, but he's overly trusting. If a client tells him they're innocent, he believes them wholeheartedly. If a client tells him they're guilty, he also believes it wholeheartedly.
  • The Team Benefactor: At one point Betty wonders why they let Magnus into the firm when he keeps believing in Kara's clearly false statements. Elvira responds that it's for his money.
    Betty: We can't keep losing cases! What are we going to do for food?
    Magnus: I stand to inherit a small fortune, so I'm going to be just fine.
  • Try to Fit That on a Business Card: He introduces himself as Magnus Finkwhistle of the Harkraven Finkwhistles heir to the Finkwhistle estate.

    Beatdown Betty 
Played By: Lauren Morgan
A tiefling paladin who typically works for mobsters. Beatdown Betty is her legal name.
  • Amoral Attorney: Considering her usual clientele, it comes as no surprise that she's more concerned with getting her client off than punishing the guilty.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: As her name would imply, she specializes in violence. This season being based on legal procedurals, she doesn't get to use this specialty, instead showing this side of her character through her personality.
  • Briefcase Blaster: Inverted. Her purse is designed to look like a tommy gun. Despite this it doesn't actually contain any weapons; she uses it to make up for the fact that she can't bring actual guns into the courtroom.
  • Brooklyn Rage: Her accent and general demeanor.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Lauren has a few slips with Betty's speech.
    Lauren: Almost did Cordelia, there.
  • The Mafia: Instead of being pledged to a god like most paladins, she gets her power from the mob.
  • Phony Degree: The mob provided her with her law degree.
  • Stringing the Hopeless Suitor Along: Betty offers a date to a detective named Norman in exchange for his help on the case. She keeps hinting at more and more of a relationship in exchange for more of his help but fully intends to, in her own words, break his heart once she's got what she wants.
    • Eventually averted; she seemingly starts growing more fond of him as time goes on and is even saddened at his apparent death, and happy to see him when he turns up alive at the end of the season.

D&D Law Offices

    As a whole 
These tropes apply to both heads of the character simultaneously
  • Brains and Brawn: Damascus as brains, Durt as brawn. Although technically they're equally brawny, Durt just seems to be more interested in smashing things than Damascus is.
  • Graceful Loser: Upon hearing Zagdu's courtroom confession of the murder, they accept judgement in favor of Riku's innocence with no outburst or objection despite being the clear loser of this case.
  • Multiple Head Case: As an ettin, they're two heads on one body.
  • Punny Name: Damascus and Durt's initials are D&D.

    Damascus 
One head of the ettin that makes up D&D Law Offices. Damascus seems to be the more lawyering half.
  • Cooperation Gambit: He initially thinks it's an Open-and-Shut Case, hence his pushing for a quick verdict, but when the defense manages to prove that the case is more complicated than they think he gives them an opening to keep investigating and catch the real killer.
  • The Smart Guy: He's at least capable of speaking in complete sentences and seems to be in charge of the actual legal matters. Comparatively, his brother's interests seem limited to smashing things.
  • Smug Snake: He treats everyone else in the room with disdain, including his brother.

    Durt 
The other head of the ettin that makes up D&D Law Offices. Durt seems considerably less interested in lawyering and considerably more interested in smashing things.
  • Dumb Muscle: He likes smashing things and doesn't like the talking so much. Conversely, his brother is well-spoken and comes off as much smarter. Elvira's convinced it's secretly the other way around.
  • Hulk Speak: Durt's vocabulary is more more succinct than his brother Damascus.
  • No Indoor Voice: Durt's voice only has one setting.

People of Interest

    Judgebot 02 
A duodrone modron and the judge presiding over the case.
  • Lawful Stupid: By design. In fact, they're probably the only person involved in the court case who is legitimately concerned with upholding the court's numerous, incredibly arbitrary rules.
  • Mythology Gag: Their Justice Style is 'Swift', referencing the bloodthirsty modron police officer Swift Justice from Season 2.
  • Not So Above It All: Despite it being an unusual request, Judgebot is excited to help test the defense stand's Zone of Truth spell.
    Judgebot: Oh, this is very exciting! I never get to see this side of the courtroom like this zeep zoop!
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat: Their job is to uphold the rules of the court and they do it well. Unfortunately, most of those rules are ridiculously counterproductive.
  • Verbal Tic: They make mechanical noises after certain sentences.

    Kara Mitt 
A grung wizard who was apprenticed to the victim and the prime suspect in her murder. Guns, Puns, and Justice are her defense team.
  • The Apprentice: She was apprenticed to Siks, the murder victim.
  • Bad Liar: During her False Confession she simply reiterates the prosecution's original theory on Siks' murder, some of which has already been disproven. When the defense starts asking questions her story falls apart in seconds.
    Elvira: She planned to kill everyone in that tower to make herself into a lich. A fact you did not know because you are not the killer!
    Kara: Uh... uh... maybe... I just forgot that she was gonna do that!
  • False Confession: When Damascus brings up the name Riku, she immediately confesses to the murder to keep Riku out of the proceedings. The defense team immediately sees through this ploy, except Magnus Finkwhistle of the Harkraven Finkwhistles heir to the Finkwhistle estate who immediately believes her.
  • Food as Bribe: Elvira offers to bring Kara the half of Stinkbutt's sandwich in exchange for more information. When Kara refuses, Elvira instead threatens to bring her the sandwich.
  • Frog Men: As a grung. Referenced by her name.
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: She blacked out shortly before Siks was killed and woke up shortly afterwards holding the murder weapon. If she was conscious when Siks died, she doesn't remember any of it.
  • Wrongfully Accused: A given for an Ace Attorney parody, she is framed for the murder of her mentor.

    Siks 
A wizard and Kara's master. The murder victim. She was decapitated with a giant sword at the top of her tower.
  • Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: The experiment she was working on when she died, claiming she wanted to become something deathless. Betty and Elvira think this proves she might not really be dead.
    • By the first investigative phase, the lawyers discover that the 'something deathless' she wanted to become is a lich.
  • Bad Boss: The prosecution claims Kara's motive was because of her ethically questionable experiments. Everything we learn about her suggests she was a terrible boss in pretty much all respects.
    • The lawyers learn that she planned to kill all her employees to power a phylactery and become a lich.
  • Deader than Dead: Her soul was absorbed into Zagdu's phylactery, obliterating it and destroying her essence forever. No magic can ever bring her back.
  • Human Resources: Her secret plan was to sacrifice ALL the souls in the mage tower in a scheme to make herself a lich.
  • Off with Her Head!: How she died.

    Stinkbutt 
A troglodyte and the late Siks' janitor. Primary witness against Kara despite not actually seeing the murder take place.
  • Appropriated Appelation: Unwittingly. At some point people started calling him 'Stinkbutt' to the point that he made it his name so that way everyone's right.
  • Bizarre Taste in Food: When Elvira bribes Stinkbutt with food, she asks him what kind of sandwich he'd like. By the end of their negotiation it's two pieces of bread filled with every condiment she has and nothing else.
    Stinkbutt: Let me tell you a lil' somethin' about myself. When I go to one of those fancy gas stations that have the make-your-own-sandwich and they ask for condiments, ol' Stinkbutt hits every button on that system, I'll tell you that.
  • Food as Bribe: Elvira bribes Stinkbutt first with some pocket gum and then with a sandwich full of condiments to get him to help retrieve evidence.
  • Signature Scent: As a troglodyte. It's also the source of his nickname-turned-name.

    Riku 
A bone devil summoned by Siks as a familiar of sorts.
  • Affably Evil: If they're not being ordered around by their summoner, they're very pleasant to be around.
  • False Confession: They step forward to claim they murdered Siks. The defense team sees right through their ploy to try and protect Kara who just made a similar claim to protect them from repercussions of Siks' murder.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: They're much larger than Kara who they're hinted to be in love with.
  • I Know Your True Name: Whoever knows their true name can force them to obey whatever command is given to them.
  • Our Demons Are Different: Riku is well spoken and also happens to be made entirely out of bones.

    Zagdu 
A rich pretentious douchebag and the lich who hired the defense team
  • Chekhov's Gun: While Zagdu's constant use of fingerguns looks like an annoying physical tic, it has a more deeper significance later as the somatic gesture he uses to cast finger of death, his favorite way to murder people.
  • Evilly Affable: Acts chummy and friendly, but everything he says and does is a threat he will make happen.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: He was responsible for hiring the incompetent defense team so they'd fail and ensure Kara is found guilty. The same defense team ends up proving his guilt.
  • Idiot Ball: While Zagdu is very intelligent for the most part and had to be to reach this point in his life, he grasps firmly on the idiot ball during the events of the trial and never lets go.
  • It Amused Me: His reason for using the court system to eliminate his rival rather than just casting Finger of Death to kill everyone. That gets old after a few millenia...
  • Mysterious Employer: He's the one who hired the defense team.
  • Our Liches Are Different: Zagdu is actually an ancient Lich manipulating the court system to frame Kara for his murder of Siks because he couldn't stand for another rival to arise.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: He desperately wants to be seen as an aristocratic figure but is completely crass, the cherry on that sundae is the golden condom wrapper he keeps on a chain around his neck.
  • Soul Jar: The condom necklace is Zagdu's phylactery, hidden in plain sight as an object he knew everyone would be too disgusted to touch.
  • Springtime for Hitler: The team of incompetent lawyers he hired to fail in the defense of Kara not only figured out his plans but got him banished forever to a mirror prison.
  • Walking Spoiler: Pretty much everything about him is in some way spoiler territory.

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