Last story in volume one!
Duel 7: The Face of Truth
(Outside Domino High)
Yugi: While I call Honda my friend, I'm a little scared of him. He makes me lift heavy objects and buy porno magazines for him. (Honda's been banned from the newsstand ever since the "drool" incident.)
Jonouchi: We've got something to discuss with you, Yugi.
Honda: Jonouchi, you promised you wouldn't talk about our "experimentation."
Jonouchi: Naw, about the other thing.
Honda: Oh, you mean about how I'm in love with Miho the Ribbon Girl? Whew! Wait, I don't want Yugi to hear about that, either.
Jonouchi: Anyhow, Honda wants to pursue this hopeless relationship, and needs a present to impress Ribbon. I was thinking maybe one of the cursed antiques from your grandfather's shop?
Yugi: He sells ''games'', Jonouchi. But maybe we can find something good.
(Kame Game shop)
Sugoroku: I'll move this dust-gathering inventory item by claiming I used it to snare Yugi's grandmother. It's a blank jigsaw puzzle. You write a message on it, and as the recipient puts it together, she reads your message of love.
Jonouchi: That's pretty corny.
Honda: It's perfect! Here's all my money!
Sugoroku: Thankyoucomeagain!
Honda: But wait! I'm illiterate! How can I write a love letter? I know, I think Yugi should write the passion of my heart.
Yugi: Uhh...
Honda: Oh, and if Ribbon doesn't like it, you die.
(later)
Yugi: Well, sappy message written, deassembled and wrapped.
(classroom)
Jonouchi: I'll put it in Ribbon's desk. Since there's still an hour to class, no one is here to see us do this.
(hallway)
Student 1: Wow, that's Ms. Chono, the hottest teacher in the school. She's about the sexiest babe we'll be seeing until Mai shows up. Too bad she wears so much makeup.
Student 2: That's because she's a whited sepulchre, full of corruption. I hear she's based on the writer's ex-girlfriend.
Vice-Principal: Good morning, Ms. Chono. How was your omiai last night?
Chono: Oh, the fellow wasn't my type. (grr, kill, smash)
Vice-Principal: Really? Too bad. (Yes! I still have a chance! Of course, I'd engage myself to a circus freak if it meant I'd get laid once in a while.)
(classroom)
Jonouchi: Ribbon still hasn't noticed. What suspense.
Honda: Holding...breath...feeling...faint....
Chono: Must crush mirror that shows my true face! That guy last night turned me down before I could get a word in edgewise! How dare he! It's my mission in life to make pathetic males think they're going to get lucky, then crush their hopes and dreams, turning them into misogynistic regulars on soc.men . Ooh, better trowel on more makeup. Now I need to destroy some lives.
(classroom)
Chono: All right students, it's inspection time! Empty your desks, bags and pockets!
(Ribbon finds present)
Chono: I love doing this! Not only do I get to expel students for trivial infractions, but I never have to buy my own cigarettes! Say, what's this?
Ribbon: Heck if I know.
(Ms. Chono rips open the present)
Chono: Ooh, a jigsaw puzzle! Pretty easy too. Hmm...what a sappy message. Now, as you know, underage dating is against the rules at Domino High, even though prostitution appears to be perfectly fine. And this is obviously an solicitation to date. So, fess up and I might spare your life. (Sucker.)
(Honda stands up, but so do Yugi and Jonouchi)
Yugi: I wrote the message!
Jonouchi: No! I put the puzzle in Ribbon's desk!
Honda: No! I Am Spartacus! Er, I mean it's my message.
Chono: Clearly, someone's lying here.
Jonouchi: Technically, we're all telling the truth.
Chono: I know, I'll just finish the last few pieces of the puzzle, with the sender's name. And then he'll be expelled. For I am like unto a GOD! Ohohoho!
Millenium Puzzle: Flash! Fastest man alive!
Yami: For hurting Honda and Ribbon's feelings, I turn that puzzle into a Shadow Game!
Chono: Completed! The expelled person's name is—
(her face starts cracking off in puzzle pieces)
Student 1: Gross! Ms. Chono's turned into a Dick Tracy villain!
Yami: Behold your real face, which can never be hidden by makeup again!
Chono: Aagh! You didn't see this! I'm not ugly! I'll get you and your little dog too!
(she runs away)
Ribbon: Honda, I find you repulsive.
Yugi: And from then on, Jonouchi, Honda and I were best buddies.
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