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10/23/2018 12:09:21 •••

This is just Spongebob's I had an Accident but with Star Wars characters.

This Star Wars episode is just like the SpongeBob episode I had an Accident.

In that episode, SpongeBob had a really bad sandboarding accident and so he refuses to ever leave his pineapple home. Sandy and Patrick keep begging him to come out, but he won't.

SpongeBob is Luke Skywalker. Sandy is Rey. Patrick is Chewbacca. And I think Chip, Penny and used napkin are the Porgs and Thala-sirens.

08/11/2018 00:00:00

As useless as this as an actual review (even as a random social media comment it's hard to discern the point), I'm just glad to see one that doesn't blame its shortcomings—most of which are shared with pretty much every other 2010s action blockbuster— on some "social justice" feminist conspiracy.

08/12/2018 00:00:00

@Bastar 1: ... Okay that\'s a fair point. Still don\'t get why people keep complaining about that whole Social Justice conspiracy thing.

09/15/2018 00:00:00

The best review thus far.

On a serious note, is this sort of review technically legal? I'm not aware of any actual guidelines.

10/23/2018 00:00:00

@Bastard 1 I can hardly call it a conspiracy when it is in the open. Kathleen Kennedy and her colleagues have outright stated that they wanted to insert feminism and liberal themes into Star Wars, and most of the TL Js worst parts (Holdo's and Poe's idiot plot, the casino planet, etc.) are all a direct result of such meddling. These parts are not bad because they were created by a "liberal agenda", but if said agenda wasn't there and enforced by the upper brass, they probably wouldn't have been in the movie on the first place, resulting in an objectively better and more coherent movie.

Now, there are still a ton of problems with the movie that have nothing to do with any kind of agenda (the hyperspace ram, which breaks the lore of SW so hard most fans still can't wrap their head around how it got greenlit; or the forced "romances" between Kylo and Rey and Rose and Finn; or Luke's entire characterization), but that's beside the point.

10/23/2018 00:00:00

The audience is obviously the family at the end of the episode but who would the gorilla be


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