We try to kill SCP-682

Result: Failure. The writer's eyes saw the name as possessing Alien Geometries that he could not fathom, much less write down.

Test: Expose SCP-682 to SCP-008.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 was unaffected by SCP-008.

Test:Send SCP-682 into a black hole.

Result: Experiement cancelled due to no black holes being on hand. Filed away for future reference in case circumstances change.

Test: Create portable containment facility for SCP-682, put SCP-682 in it, and launch both of them directly into the sun.

Result: Experiment cancelled

The sun didn't work the last time we tried it, why the HELL would it work when the damn thing's in a box?! - DR [REDACTED]

Have the Turian Councilor will it out of existence through his power of denial.

edited 17th May '12 11:29:30 PM by Randomman5

Result: [EXPERIMENT CANCELLED]

Seriously? He was OUT TO LUNCH?!!?!- Dr Retracted

Experiment: Read The Story of Definitely Fictional SCP-682, which has no basis in reality whatsoever, and is completely fictional to SCP-239.

Experiment cancelled. SCP-239 has been in a chemicalally-induced coma as of Incident 239-B. Awakening SCP-239 has been forbidden by a unanimous vote from the O5 council.

Test: Open a portal to the planet Remina and send SCP-682 through.

Results: Instead of being destroyed, 682 destroyed Remina. Many containment personnel had to be sent in to stop 682 from causing further damage.

Test: Call in Yukari Yakumo and Flandre Scarlet to eradicate 682.

Cancelled, as we do not have these personnel here.

Put 682 inside 762.

Result: Failure. SCP-682 escaped from SCP-762 with no visible injuries.

Test: Attck SCP-682 with SCP-668.

Result: [EXPERIMENT CANCELLED] as per Addendum 668-c

It's right there in the report in black and white; no DATA EXPUNGED or anything to it. Even the D-class know you do not freaking let SCP-682 anywhere near SCP-668. I recommend immediate psychological evaluation for the researcher who submitted this test. - Dr. Walter Crowne

Test: Enlist the aid of our contacts in the Shadow Proclamation to assemble a small-scale Dalek Reality Annihilator and subject SCP-682 to it.

(Yay! First post ever! :3)

Result: Failed, as the contacts refuse to even attempt to fight 682.

Test: Drop SCP-682 into SCP-874, along with five speakers timed to play frequencies A, B, C, D, and E of SCP-1012 on the other side of the SCP-874.

(Welcome! We hope you'll enjoy your time here.)

Result: SCP-682 escaped from SCP-874 unscathed before SCP-1012 could be sounded. Fortunately, SCP-682 was safely contained with minimal injury or loss. Only [NAME REDACTED] was injured in the process, and was treated for [REDACTED].

Test: Dissect SCP-682 using tools made of [REDACTED].

edited 4th Jun '12 6:18:42 PM by VmKid

Result: Failed, as 682 regenerated skin and adapted an uncuttable hide made of a [REDACTED] alloy.

Test: Release SCP-106 int 682's chamber so that it can corrode 682.

Result: SCP-106 remained motionless, refusing to approach SCP-682. Experiment deemed inconclusive after 3 hours of unresponsive behavior from either subject.

Experiment: Convince Headless Monks (of the Order of the Headless from Doctor Who) to fight SCP-682. As they do not register as lifeforms, 682 wouldn't attack them.

edited 14th Jun '12 7:03:45 PM by Randomman5

Result: Canceled. The monks could not be found.

Test: Invent a device that could take away ALL of 682's powers, and once weakened, destroy him.

Put it in SCP-914. Watch it get chewed up.

Result: Denied by O5 council due to infeasibility.

Result: Denied by site director due to potential damage to SCP-914.

Test: Capture the next thing that comes out of SCP-345 and make it fight SCP-682.

Result: Failed. The entity summoned proved much inferior to 682, and was swiftly killed by the former.

Test: Pit 682 against 073.

Result: Failed. 682 failed to harm either 073 or itself.

Test: Place SCP-682 in SCP-167.

Result: 682 does not allow him to be moved so easily and kills five personnel and seriously injures two more.

Test: clone 173 five times and seal all of them in 682's chamber and eight snipers all firing at 682's eyes.

Result: Denied due to impossibility.

Concrete cannot be cloned, you stupid little [REDACTED]. - Dr. [EXPUNGED]

Dr. [EXPUNGED] has been redirected to a shift on SCP-1021. He will not harm further. - Dr. [REDACTED]

Experiment: Place SCP-682 onto a ship equipped with a hyperdrive. Plot a hyperspace jump to an uninhabited planet, and sabotage the engine to not bring it out of lightspeed.

edited 30th Jun '12 7:47:35 PM by SpartyMcFly

Result: It works! kinda. It slingshots around the planet (which had a tenth the mass of earth) and back towards earth, it crashed in New York, 682 was slightly worse for wear, then started eating citizens.

Test: hurl Zeus' lightning bolt at 682.

edited 30th Jun '12 8:24:12 PM by Izendudes

Result: Testing denied by O5 Council due to previous disagreements with Zeus. See experiment log [DATA EXPUNGED].

Test: Loan 682 to the testing cycle of the Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System of Aperture Laboratories.

Result: After succesfully loaning 682 the next transmission was received: "This was triumph, I'm making a note here huge succes, it's hard to overstate my satisfaction... and believe me we are still alive, we are doing science and we are still alive..." and the offer from G La DOS to contain SCP-682 in exchange of ████████ monthly test subjects.

Test: Give 682 a pair of Pyrovision Goggles.

It is A Simple Plan, What Could Possibly Go Wrong? with it? - Dr. ████████

Result: Failure! [DATA EXPUNGED]

It ain't pretty. Believe me on this one. All we can tell is that SCP-682 is somehow convinced he's giving the D-Class Personnel music and lollipops. - Dr. Neryon

Test: Drop several very large pianos on SCP-682

edited 1st Jul '12 12:06:43 PM by EarlOfSandvich