The Official Bad Puns Topic

Some bad pokepuns:

@my secret admirer:

To whoever you are, unless you tell me your name, I can't raichu a love song, even if yo ask.

@my enemies:

You call down the Thunder, I'll mareep the whirlwind.

edited 29th Sep '11 11:29:32 PM by djmaca

I don't know much about Pokemon, but for some reason I do know an entire song filled with nothing but pokepuns.

ohh.... That's cool, bad and evil all at the same time!

A fair number of Pokemon names involve wordplay in some form or other. No fair.

Off the top of my head, some really, really terrible Biblical ones:

Q: Who was Noah's wife? A: Joan of Ark.

And it came to pass that God spake unto Noah, saying, "Noah, build an ark."

"Yes, Lord."

"Make it out of wood, and let it have multiple levels."

"Yes, Lord."

"And I want you to fill it with carp."

And lo, Noah did pause. "Lord, let me get this straight. You want me to build a multi-storey carp ark?"

Abraham ascended the mountain with Isaac, a load of firewood, and his laptop.

And behold, Isaac noted, "Father, you have brought your laptop, but it has not enough memory."

And Abraham did reply, "Never fear, my son. God will provide the RAM."

God is indeed the Great Physician, for He spake unto Moses, saying, "Take two tablets and call Me in the morning."

Speaking of very punny tablet jokes:

What if Moses and the Exodus happened in modern times? Steve Jobs would facepalm if he sees Moses smash a pair of tablets in front of a crowd.

capitalism is right
NOW LAUGH

Edit: Wrong thread.

edited 30th Sep '11 8:05:53 AM by justjack

Lolz to megamagikarp, Pyrite, Mike K and the first djmaca post on this page.

\/

What is the skill of being good a puns?

punnery.

Boo! ====(tomato)

Get Thee To A Punnery!

Yo, Troper, I'm really happy for you and I'm gonna let you Suomi...

Geddit? Because Suomi is what the Finnish call Finland, and he said that he's gonna let you finish, so...

That looks more like "I'm gonna let you Finland"

What country has the best veterinary surgeons for fish?

Finland.

I read this book about a painting of a large, smelly Asian fruit of some kind sitting on some iron bars. The strange thing was that the fruit in the picture appeared to ripen over time, while the real one didn't appear to ripen at all. I think it was called The Picture Of Durian Grate.

There was a proposed plotline of Buffy The Vampire Slayer dealing with Willow's girlfriend and her investment strategy: She always worked under the assumption that stock prices would rise. Fortunately, everyone agreed that it was a Tara bull idea

*

Durian Grate...holy fuck, genius.

That was simply magnificent. No other word is strong enough.

Courtesy of Teddie: "This place is so . . . bear-ren."

Probably done (and horribly lame) but because I was tormenting people with it...

"That hair is to dye for."

"I see dyed people."

"I'd dye for you."

Well, I heard of a nunnery that wanted to have its existing garments coloured a different colour, but found that the pigments wouldn't stay on. Because Old Habits Dye Hard.

Also, I once tried crossing Latin choral music with Jamaican calypso. The end result didn't work too well:

Deo...
Deo...
Daylight come and me wanna go home...

edited 2nd Oct '11 4:19:27 AM by Pyrite

Two bears in a forest affected by Climate change:

Bear1: I used to remember Ma would talk about how the heat in the forest ain't what it used to be. When she was a cub, she said, this here forest is a lot cooler.

Bear2: Oh please, this is just a little heat.

Bear1: But is so beary hot! So un-bear-able!

FREE FACEPALM!

I guess I found the most unBearably perfect time to arrive on this thread! 8D

Tit's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!

Q: What did Chicken Little say after Laharl, Etna and Flonne crash-landed on him from above?

A: Disgaea's falling! Disgaea's falling!