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Gallant and Goofus

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ArgonianLorekeeper Ecce homo qui est fungus. from Colony 9 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Ecce homo qui est fungus.
May 10th 2020 at 5:05:40 PM

Goofus cooks his mom on Mother's Day.


Gallant keeps his phone on silent while at the cinema.

KatieinSerenity I love too easily, and yet, not easily enough. from Through The Looking Glass Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
I love too easily, and yet, not easily enough.
May 10th 2020 at 5:29:30 PM

Goofus cooks his mom on Mother's Day.

Somehow, I knew that was going to be the next line. LOL.

Gallant keeps his phone on silent while at the cinema.

Goofus answers his loudly ringing phone and has an even louder conversation with his buddy about the football game last night ... in the middle of his grandmother's funeral.

Gallant gives his younger sister a warm, comforting hug when she is upset and crying.

Awe921 Benjamin Hill and MODEL: ALICE from spot in space and time called my house Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Benjamin Hill and MODEL: ALICE
May 10th 2020 at 5:46:30 PM

Goofus kicks her into the stratosphere.

Gallant politely understands to respect other people's boundaries.

i am a lazy idiot. but a lazy idiot with DREAMS.
ArgonianLorekeeper Ecce homo qui est fungus. from Colony 9 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Ecce homo qui est fungus.
May 12th 2020 at 3:36:05 PM

Goofus hugs every stranger he meets and holds them even tighter if they protest.


Mr. and Mrs. Gallant wait until nobody else is home before having sex.

May 12th 2020 at 3:47:44 PM

Mr. and Mrs. Goofus wait until everyone else is home, and then have sex with everyone else.


Gallant reduces his plastic waste.

VXXXN flutters and ponkers from page 238/Equestria Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
flutters and ponkers
May 12th 2020 at 4:20:16 PM

Goofus turns humans into plastic waste and then dumps them into the ocean.

Gallant reads quietly in the library.

i can't think of signature
TalesofUnder The King of Unmoving Plaid from All over the Caribbean Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
The King of Unmoving Plaid
May 12th 2020 at 4:39:50 PM

Goofus reads every book as loud as 98 decibels.

Gallant respects social distancing guidelines.

The best deals on used coffins in the business.
Whisperer I am everybody's friend and nobody's friend. from Somewhere in Time Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
I am everybody's friend and nobody's friend.
May 12th 2020 at 7:13:09 PM

Goofus coughs on people and says, "I don't know if I have it, and now, neither do you."

Gallant helps old people cross the street.

ginsengaddict The Ship You Can't Take from Gone, Gone and Gone Relationship Status: Star-crossed
The Ship You Can't Take
May 12th 2020 at 7:33:27 PM

Goofus revs his engine when old people cross in front of him, even while they have right of way.


After preparing a home-cooked meal, Gallant uses all the scraps (any sinew and bones from the meat and skins and ends from the veggies) to make stock, throwing nothing out until every last bit of nutritional goodness has been extracted, then composts whatever is left, feeding his home herb and veggie garden, to be as sustainable and environmentally friendly as humanly possible on a personal level.

Lightning McQueen IN SPACE!
DatLonerGirl I'm Scleepy, the Healing Snake! from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
I'm Scleepy, the Healing Snake!
May 13th 2020 at 7:28:27 AM

Goofus only takes one bite out of everything he eats, and takes what's left to hungry families just so they can watch him grind it into the dirt in front of him.

Gallant takes good care of his garden.

Writer, or something. Guess claim.
KatieinSerenity I love too easily, and yet, not easily enough. from Through The Looking Glass Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
I love too easily, and yet, not easily enough.
May 13th 2020 at 10:43:45 AM

Goofus takes good care to eat ALL of the food from the garden that he forced his little sister to grow for him.

Gallant makes his bed every morning.

May 18th 2020 at 8:57:17 AM

Goofus soils his bed every morning. And not because he has a health problem - just For the Evulz.


Gallant uses the internet in moderation.

Whisperer I am everybody's friend and nobody's friend. from Somewhere in Time Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
I am everybody's friend and nobody's friend.
May 18th 2020 at 12:00:45 PM

Goofus spends way more time on the Internet than he should ... and I'm sure we can all guess WHAT it is on the Internet that he's browsing through.

When it was time for Gallant to buy his girlfriend a birthday gift, he got her a beautiful locket that she had been wanting for a while.

WillyFourEyes Fake American from I'm not telling! Relationship Status: Mu
May 18th 2020 at 1:08:40 PM

[up]That's what it's for, right?

On his girlfriend's birthday, Goofus does Convenience Store Gift Shopping...for himself. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey...I didn't know today was your birthday... Wanna see this cool new squirt gun I bought? It was only two bucks!"

Gallant always remembers to Read the Freaking Manual.

Awe921 Benjamin Hill and MODEL: ALICE from spot in space and time called my house Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Benjamin Hill and MODEL: ALICE
May 18th 2020 at 2:27:52 PM

[up][up] or it could be TVTropes..

Goofus brute forces and learns how the thing works by knowing every single bad thing you can do with it.

Gallant respects his teammates and works with them.

i am a lazy idiot. but a lazy idiot with DREAMS.
ginsengaddict The Ship You Can't Take from Gone, Gone and Gone Relationship Status: Star-crossed
The Ship You Can't Take
May 18th 2020 at 2:32:13 PM

Goofus teamkills and teabags his teammates.


Gallant uses spoiler tags appropriately.

Lightning McQueen IN SPACE!
ArgonianLorekeeper Ecce homo qui est fungus. from Colony 9 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Ecce homo qui est fungus.
May 18th 2020 at 2:49:51 PM

Goofus places spoiler tags arbitrarily and in such a way that they are redundant. At the same time, he fails to cover genuine spoilers such as the ending of Gallant: The Movie where Gallant dies.


Even if Gallant dislikes a work, he respects people who do.

FracturedImages king of the mods from under the cork tree Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
king of the mods
May 19th 2020 at 3:26:01 AM

Goofus feels the need to go out of his way to find fan content for work he doesn't like, report it for spam, and get angry in the comment section about how said work is not only objectively bad but is actively ripping apart the entertainment industry and society by setting an incredibly low standard.

Gallant uses proper grammar and spelling over text

x I add my current avatar to posts bc i change it ever hour basically
WillyFourEyes Fake American from I'm not telling! Relationship Status: Mu
May 19th 2020 at 4:19:09 AM

Goofus tyep and talk liek dis evrytim

Gallant gave it a good try, but he knows he's not good enough, so he quit.

Aszur A nice butterfly from Pagliacci's Relationship Status: Don't hug me; I'm scared
A nice butterfly
May 19th 2020 at 8:42:20 AM

Goofus cites facebook comments for his thesis.

Gallant properly uses APA style, and only for peer-reviewed sources.

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes.
May 20th 2020 at 1:36:44 AM

[up]I'm afraid you misunderstood the rules. Your "Goofus" line needs to respond to the previous poster's "Gallant" line, and then you need to come up with something different for your "Gallant" that the next poster can respond to with a "Goofus" line.

[up][up]Goofus doesn't give it a good try, and spends more time complaining how impossible the task is than it would take to do the task.

Gallant doesn't berate others for not being familiar with his favorite work of fiction.

TheBlueHour Relationship Status: Browsing the selection
May 21st 2020 at 6:41:59 PM

Goofus kidnaps people and forces them to watch his favorite TV shows until they die of sleep deprivation.

Gallant is the ruler of the universe.

DatLonerGirl I'm Scleepy, the Healing Snake! from a top secret place Relationship Status: Chocolate!
I'm Scleepy, the Healing Snake!
May 21st 2020 at 6:45:53 PM

Goofus is the scum of the universe.

Gallant reads a person's profile before he swipes right.

Writer, or something. Guess claim.
Awe921 Benjamin Hill and MODEL: ALICE from spot in space and time called my house Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Benjamin Hill and MODEL: ALICE
May 21st 2020 at 6:59:32 PM

Goofus swipes left AND bullies people on Tinder.

Gallant wears lab safety gear.

i am a lazy idiot. but a lazy idiot with DREAMS.
Whisperer I am everybody's friend and nobody's friend. from Somewhere in Time Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
I am everybody's friend and nobody's friend.
May 21st 2020 at 7:06:07 PM

Goofus's idea of "lab safety gear" is having somebody else do the lab work for him, while he watches from behind yet another person.

Gallant warned his next door neighbor that her door was unlocked.


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