Somehow, I knew that was going to be the next line. LOL.
Goofus answers his loudly ringing phone and has an even louder conversation with his buddy about the football game last night ... in the middle of his grandmother's funeral.
Gallant gives his younger sister a warm, comforting hug when she is upset and crying.
eh
Goofus kicks her into the stratosphere.
Gallant politely understands to respect other people's boundaries.
See ya later.
Goofus hugs every stranger he meets and holds them even tighter if they protest.
Mr. and Mrs. Gallant wait until nobody else is home before having sex.
You can find me here now.
Mr. and Mrs. Goofus wait until everyone else is home, and then have sex with everyone else.
Gallant reduces his plastic waste.
AKMU
Goofus turns humans into plastic waste and then dumps them into the ocean.
Gallant reads quietly in the library.
Not Sherlock Holmes
Goofus reads every book as loud as 98 decibels.
Gallant respects social distancing guidelines.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
Goofus coughs on people and says, "I don't know if I have it, and now, neither do you."
Gallant helps old people cross the street.
Not a Fragile Flower
Goofus revs his engine when old people cross in front of him, even while they have right of way.
After preparing a home-cooked meal, Gallant uses all the scraps (any sinew and bones from the meat and skins and ends from the veggies) to make stock, throwing nothing out until every last bit of nutritional goodness has been extracted, then composts whatever is left, feeding his home herb and veggie garden, to be as sustainable and environmentally friendly as humanly possible on a personal level. "Get me a gun, I'm a soldier; but put me in that suit and I'm a superhero." - Gunnery Sgt Roberta "Bobbie" Draper MMC
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus only takes one bite out of everything he eats, and takes what's left to hungry families just so they can watch him grind it into the dirt in front of him.
Gallant takes good care of his garden.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
Goofus takes good care to eat ALL of the food from the garden that he forced his little sister to grow for him.
Gallant makes his bed every morning.
Goofus soils his bed every morning. And not because he has a health problem - just For the Evulz.
Gallant uses the internet in moderation.
Goofus spends way more time on the Internet than he should ... and I'm sure we can all guess WHAT it is on the Internet that he's browsing through.
When it was time for Gallant to buy his girlfriend a birthday gift, he got her a beautiful locket that she had been wanting for a while.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
That's what it's for, right?
On his girlfriend's birthday, Goofus does Convenience Store Gift Shopping...for himself. "Oh, I'm sorry, honey...I didn't know today was your birthday... Wanna see this cool new squirt gun I bought? It was only two bucks!"
Gallant always remembers to Read the Freaking Manual.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
eh
or it could be TVTropes..
Goofus brute forces and learns how the thing works by knowing every single bad thing you can do with it.
Gallant respects his teammates and works with them.
Not a Fragile Flower
Goofus teamkills and teabags his teammates.
Gallant uses spoiler tags appropriately. "Get me a gun, I'm a soldier; but put me in that suit and I'm a superhero." - Gunnery Sgt Roberta "Bobbie" Draper MMC
See ya later.
Goofus places spoiler tags arbitrarily and in such a way that they are redundant. At the same time, he fails to cover genuine spoilers such as the ending of Gallant: The Movie where Gallant dies.
Even if Gallant dislikes a work, he respects people who do.
You can find me here now.
Vince Noir; Rock and roll star.
Goofus feels the need to go out of his way to find fan content for work he doesn't like, report it for spam, and get angry in the comment section about how said work is not only objectively bad but is actively ripping apart the entertainment industry and society by setting an incredibly low standard.
Gallant uses proper grammar and spelling over text
The thing is Howard it doesn't matter how old you are, bouncy castles are still genius!
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus tyep and talk liek dis evrytim
Gallant gave it a good try, but he knows he's not good enough, so he quit.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
A nice butterfly
Goofus cites facebook comments for his thesis.
Gallant properly uses APA style, and only for peer-reviewed sources.
It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes
I'm afraid you misunderstood the rules. Your "Goofus" line needs to respond to the previous poster's "Gallant" line, and then you need to come up with something different for your "Gallant" that the next poster can respond to with a "Goofus" line.
Goofus doesn't give it a good try, and spends more time complaining how impossible the task is than it would take to do the task.
Gallant doesn't berate others for not being familiar with his favorite work of fiction.
Goofus kidnaps people and forces them to watch his favorite TV shows until they die of sleep deprivation.
Gallant is the ruler of the universe.
Get heckin crabbed
Goofus is the scum of the universe.
Gallant reads a person's profile before he swipes right.
Writer, or something. And... a button? 🖲️
eh
Goofus swipes left AND bullies people on Tinder.
Gallant wears lab safety gear.
Goofus's idea of "lab safety gear" is having somebody else do the lab work for him, while he watches from behind yet another person.
Gallant warned his next door neighbor that her door was unlocked.
Goofus cooks his mom on Mother's Day.
Gallant keeps his phone on silent while at the cinema.
You can find me here now.