Corrupt-a-wish.

What the fuck...? (Also, ignore my post)

Um, if the wish is what I think it is... they can scream that, but they have no reason to, so they never will - except when it would inconvenience you the most.

I wish for the sword known as the Transistor, from the video game Transistor.

Edited by Arcane101 on Feb 21st 2021 at 4:18:49 AM

Granted, it breaks immediately.

I wish to play Fallout: New Vegas.

( That wish was inspired by this couch gag, did the Zalgo text thing owing to its weirdness, which turned out quite well on TV Tropes forum's typesetting.)

Granted, you win a trip to Las Vegas and nuclear war just happens to break out while you are there. Las Vegas survives and becomes New Vegas, the capital of the post apocalyptic radioactive wasteland. And then some joe who played the game now thinks he's the main character of the real life version and shoots you for no reason other than gaining imaginary XP.

I wish for more cowbell.

Granted, a pile of cowbells land on top of your head with great force.

I wish that this game never ended.

Granted, but you're all made immortal and must do nothing but play this game forever.

I wish for a tower made of gold.

Granted, it's 10 millimeters tall and not solid.

I wish I could interact with metaphors.

Granted. You get turned into a metaphor to better interact with other metaphors, but the process destroys most of your higher reasoning, leaving you a babbling mess.

I wish Israel and Palestine would stop fighting and become allies.

Granted. They become allies because other countries in the Middle East are now invading them both.

I wish I had 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 Charisma.

Granted, the high number causes an overflow error resulting in you losing all your charisma and becoming repulsive.

I wish gain flashy avatar like powers.

Granted. You're now a flashing graphic that a particular user of a site uses to represent themself.

I wish to go to space.

Granted. You die of oxygen deprivation not long after.

I wish coding disruptions don't exist.

Granted, no one may code the word or concept "disruptions" in any language. Communication becomes slightly more difficult as a result.

I wish for the power to bring the contents of any book to life.

Granted, you can convert the pages of any book from paper to flesh-eating bacteria. Except it gets all over you unavoidably and fatally in the process, so you can't use it to make flesh-eating bacteria samples easier for scientists to study.

I wish to unmask Spider-Man on live television.

Granted. It turns out that he is Batman (yes, he has a bat mask under the spider one).

I wish I knew how to play chess.

Granted. Every game you play ends in you making the Fool's mate.

I wish I could be a professional DJ.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Feb 24th 2021 at 5:40:37 AM

Granted - you become a professional DJ, and you are stuck playing weddings (full of drunken Bridezillas), soul sucking corporate events, dive bars and shady clubs.

I wish the neighbors would stop cooking fish and letting the smell reach my apartment.....

Granted. They instead leave a rotten egg in your apartment every day.

I wish I could control the weather.

Granted; your two options are 120 and -10 degrees Fahrenheit.

I wish I was a 3 on the Sliding Scale of Beauty.

Granted, you're a Brainless Beauty.

I wish I could go back to 1800 with knowledge of the next 2 centuries' events.

Granted. Specifically, you go back to March 17th of 1800 on board HMS Queen Charlotte and die in the ensuing explosion.

I wish I could remember anything with perfect accuracy.

Granted, you can now only remember "anything with perfect accuracy", as in, cases of you observing projectiles hitting their targets with perfect accuracy. Since accuracy cannot truly be perfect down to the subatomic level, you have complete amnesia.

I wish Bill Nye was a Russian spy.

Granted, since he was a Russian spy, he never became a widely-known scientist. In that other timeline, since you didn’t know who Bill Nye was, you wished for something else that accidentally made it a Crapsack World.

I wish I was the next President of the United States.

Granted, motherfucker. Hopefully you're well-educated enough to face the daunting composite task of managing the country (with all the intricacies) whilst making sure the public doesn't decide you're not fit to be President.

I wish for some solid milk.

Edited by SomeLibre on Feb 26th 2021 at 9:35:01 PM

Granted, you mess up the purification machine settings and accidentally solidify the blue milk you were planning to drink. Luke and the new droids are missing, though your wife Beru thinks they are probably just doing errands, but then some stormtroopers come into the homestead...

In the snow I lie, I close my eyes and wish for pie.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Feb 26th 2021 at 6:38:58 AM