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atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Jan 5th 2019 at 3:30:43 PM

I'm not even going to corrupt that wish, knock yourself out. Literally.

I wish Trump never existed.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, and racing around to come up behind you again
Jaxfirebus Going to die from On the bus Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Going to die
Jan 5th 2019 at 5:06:49 PM

[up][up]But i am. You punch yourself so hard you snap your neck.

[up]Granted, we're looking at World War 3 as Hillary tries to establish a no-fly zone in Siria now.

I wish Fallout 76 was actually made as advertised.

[down] Well, least now nobody's buying it cause they KNOW it's absolutely horrendous.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Jan 6th 2019 at 10:06:26 AM

Crap... why'd i let HIM drive?!
WillyFourEyes ...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy from High Above the Mucky-Muck
...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy
Jan 5th 2019 at 7:10:52 PM

Granted. It's advertised as a buggy piece of crap, so little has changed from the actual Fallout 76.

I wish I didn't always go for the low-hanging fruit when it comes to things to make fun of.

Playing_with_boy Two and two make four! #FACTS! from pg. 666 Relationship Status: Cigarettes and Valentines
Two and two make four! #FACTS!
Jan 5th 2019 at 8:14:50 PM

Granted, but your jokes are sooooooooooooooo smart that no one understands them.

I wish for food that is made out of normal ingredients, is tasty but not too tasty, is not expired, does not have poison, is fresh, is not overcooked, and is made and cooked within a reasonable time. With a drink, subject to the same agreements. The food has to be on a plate, and the drink in a tall glass, yet the glass should be between 4 inches to 6 inches in diameter, and 1 foot in height. In a big (but not so big that I could get trapped in there) and secure safe, without any poison in the safe, nor bombs. And, when the food is finished (i.e. when I eat the last bite), I want it to turn into a very efficient time machine, so I can prevent everyone from exploding. And, I have to enter in a year, month, and day, so I can not get eaten by a dino. And, I want to share the food with Fast Eddie. And to not be sprayed with anything, nor be knee-deep or higher in poop.

   Totally not suitable for the tweens and kiddos.   
Jan 5th 2019 at 9:37:35 PM

...The genie just kills you for making such a complicated wish. Good job.

I wish Miyamoto Musashi (the playable one that's female) was my waifu. Justifable, non? She rayshifts herself.

Yo! Dragster here.
vjoi revenge solves everything.
revenge solves everything.
Jan 11th 2019 at 12:13:08 AM

Granted. After your wedding ceremony the news arrives, a great war has broken out and the fate of the world rests on weather your country and its allies wins.

The draft letter is in your mail box next week, you hug your wife for one last time not knowing if you'll ever see her again.

I wish I could become ssj blue in real life.

Jan 11th 2019 at 5:33:11 AM

You instantly explode when you try. You didn't specify whether or not you could handle its power, non?

I wish everything bad that could ever happen to everyone did. (hon, how do you do this when it's already bad?)

Yo! Dragster here.
Jaxfirebus Going to die from On the bus Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Going to die
Jan 11th 2019 at 6:18:16 AM

Granted, Everything bad that could ever happen to everyone also happens to you, for every person on earth. So you're experience the hell you're putting the world through too. (that's how, make it worse for you.)

I wish nobody would ever be able to make a stupidly specific wish ever again.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Jan 11th 2019 at 6:19:08 AM

Crap... why'd i let HIM drive?!
Spottedleaf Caitlin Frost? from S.T.A.R. Labs Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Caitlin Frost?
Jan 11th 2019 at 6:21:53 AM

Granted. Everybody makes vague wishes that end up ruining YOUR life.

I wish that I found a man who was perfectly suited for me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and that our relationship was perfectly healthy.

"I'm someone else. And I have to figure out who that is, on my own."
Jaxfirebus Going to die from On the bus Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Going to die
Jan 11th 2019 at 8:12:55 AM

Granted, they get hit by a Car and die only a day after meeting you.

I wish for there to be no such thing as Jackass Genies.

Crap... why'd i let HIM drive?!
atimnie The Video Guy from Chicago Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
The Video Guy
Jan 11th 2019 at 2:39:26 PM

Granted, no more Jackass Genies. Plenty of asshole genies, and idiot genies, and just plain malevolent genies, and you seem to have no problem finding all of them.

I wish someone would solve the Trumpy problem, one way or another.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, and racing around to come up behind you again
Playing_with_boy Two and two make four! #FACTS! from pg. 666 Relationship Status: Cigarettes and Valentines
Two and two make four! #FACTS!
Jan 11th 2019 at 4:41:49 PM

Granted. The "Trumpy problem" is that there is only one winner for, like, everything, and so, nobody has any chance in competing for anything.

I wish that I was a cat.

   Totally not suitable for the tweens and kiddos.   
4WD [REDACTED] from The Middle of Nowhere
[REDACTED]
Jan 11th 2019 at 4:54:08 PM

Granted. You die in a car crash the second you go outside.

I wanna be Ikumi Mito

Funposting is fun.
johannes4123 Probably not a pyromaniac from Not in outer space
Probably not a pyromaniac
Jan 13th 2019 at 2:08:20 AM

Granted. You get to play her in a widely hated Live-Action adaptation

I wish for Pyrokinesis

Edited by johannes4123 on Jan 13th 2019 at 11:08:33 AM

unfortunatezorua Symbol Of Peace from Despacito Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Symbol Of Peace
Jan 13th 2019 at 2:43:44 AM

Granted, but you end up setting yourself on fire every time you try to use it.

I wish it wasn't so hot here in the middle of January.

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
WillyFourEyes ...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy from High Above the Mucky-Muck
...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy
Jan 13th 2019 at 3:26:07 AM

Granted, but that's only because your city gets hit with an improbably large snowstorm: 20 feet?!

I wish I did something so stupidly awesome that it "broke the Internet" for three days straight.

Spottedleaf Caitlin Frost? from S.T.A.R. Labs Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Caitlin Frost?
Jan 13th 2019 at 5:31:00 AM

Granted. The Internet goes down completely and becomes unusable for everyone for three days.

I wish I was Killer Frost.

Edited by Spottedleaf on Jan 13th 2019 at 7:39:37 AM

"I'm someone else. And I have to figure out who that is, on my own."
johannes4123 Probably not a pyromaniac from Not in outer space
Probably not a pyromaniac
Jan 13th 2019 at 7:07:01 AM

Granted. You get to be the one who died for real

I wish for the space stone

WillyFourEyes ...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy from High Above the Mucky-Muck
...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy
Jan 13th 2019 at 8:08:58 AM

It's a stone. From space. With no mystical powers whatsoever.

I wish my computer would stop making this weird beeping noise.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Jan 13th 2019 at 11:09:11 AM

Spottedleaf Caitlin Frost? from S.T.A.R. Labs Relationship Status: Yes, I'm alone, but I'm alone and free
Caitlin Frost?
Jan 13th 2019 at 8:09:53 AM

Granted. Now it constantly plays the Macarena, even when it's turned off.

I wish I could be the EARTH 1 Killer Frost, the one that wasn't impaled on her own icicle.

"I'm someone else. And I have to figure out who that is, on my own."
VengefulBale A princess and her borb knight from Mexico Relationship Status: Shipping fictional characters
A princess and her borb knight
Jan 13th 2019 at 11:02:07 AM

Granted but eventually your powers grow out of control and you are forced to be mercy killed by the JLA.

I wish my ships became canon, and were shown outright to be

"Be careful not to drop her, Meta Knight"
johannes4123 Probably not a pyromaniac from Not in outer space
Probably not a pyromaniac
Jan 13th 2019 at 11:34:27 AM

They all feel unfulfilling and end in tragedy

I wish for a totally awesome grenade-launcher

WillyFourEyes ...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy from High Above the Mucky-Muck
...with powers comparable to Wonder Boy
Jan 13th 2019 at 1:58:21 PM

Granted, but the genie mishears you and gives you a GRENADE LAWNCHAIR. As soon as you sit down on it, it explodes.

I wish the Cookie Monster could actually eat all those cookies.

CustardAndPie This Is Gonna Suck from 'Scansin, don'cha knoow? Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
Jan 13th 2019 at 2:47:35 PM

Granted. Now cookies no longer exist because the greedy bastard eats every single one he sees.

I wish I was capable of properly applying eyeliner on my lash line.

Roses are red Violets are blue Unregistered Hypercam 2
johannes4123 Probably not a pyromaniac from Not in outer space
Probably not a pyromaniac
Jan 14th 2019 at 7:57:06 AM

Granted. From now on getting eyeliner into your eyes is considered "proper"

I wish for superhuman strength, durability, agility and endurance


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