Corrupt-a-wish.

I'm not even going to corrupt that wish, knock yourself out. Literally.

I wish Trump never existed.

But i am. You punch yourself so hard you snap your neck.

Granted, we're looking at World War 3 as Hillary tries to establish a no-fly zone in Siria now.

I wish Fallout 76 was actually made as advertised.

Well, least now nobody's buying it cause they KNOW it's absolutely horrendous.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Jan 6th 2019 at 10:06:26 AM

Granted. It's advertised as a buggy piece of crap, so little has changed from the actual Fallout 76.

I wish I didn't always go for the low-hanging fruit when it comes to things to make fun of.

Granted, but your jokes are sooooooooooooooo smart that no one understands them.

I wish for food that is made out of normal ingredients, is tasty but not too tasty, is not expired, does not have poison, is fresh, is not overcooked, and is made and cooked within a reasonable time. With a drink, subject to the same agreements. The food has to be on a plate, and the drink in a tall glass, yet the glass should be between 4 inches to 6 inches in diameter, and 1 foot in height. In a big (but not so big that I could get trapped in there) and secure safe, without any poison in the safe, nor bombs. And, when the food is finished (i.e. when I eat the last bite), I want it to turn into a very efficient time machine, so I can prevent everyone from exploding. And, I have to enter in a year, month, and day, so I can not get eaten by a dino. And, I want to share the food with Fast Eddie. And to not be sprayed with anything, nor be knee-deep or higher in poop.

...The genie just kills you for making such a complicated wish. Good job.

I wish Miyamoto Musashi (the playable one that's female) was my waifu. Justifable, non? She rayshifts herself.

Granted. After your wedding ceremony the news arrives, a great war has broken out and the fate of the world rests on weather your country and its allies wins.

The draft letter is in your mail box next week, you hug your wife for one last time not knowing if you'll ever see her again.

I wish I could become ssj blue in real life.

You instantly explode when you try. You didn't specify whether or not you could handle its power, non?

I wish everything bad that could ever happen to everyone did. (hon, how do you do this when it's already bad?)

Granted, Everything bad that could ever happen to everyone also happens to you, for every person on earth. So you're experience the hell you're putting the world through too. (that's how, make it worse for you.)

I wish nobody would ever be able to make a stupidly specific wish ever again.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Jan 11th 2019 at 6:19:08 AM

Granted. Everybody makes vague wishes that end up ruining YOUR life.

I wish that I found a man who was perfectly suited for me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and that our relationship was perfectly healthy.

Granted, they get hit by a Car and die only a day after meeting you.

I wish for there to be no such thing as Jackass Genies.

Granted, no more Jackass Genies. Plenty of asshole genies, and idiot genies, and just plain malevolent genies, and you seem to have no problem finding all of them.

I wish someone would solve the Trumpy problem, one way or another.

Granted. The "Trumpy problem" is that there is only one winner for, like, everything, and so, nobody has any chance in competing for anything.

I wish that I was a cat.

Granted. You die in a car crash the second you go outside.

I wanna be Ikumi Mito

Granted. You get to play her in a widely hated Live-Action adaptation

I wish for Pyrokinesis

Edited by johannes4123 on Jan 13th 2019 at 11:08:33 AM

Granted, but you end up setting yourself on fire every time you try to use it.

I wish it wasn't so hot here in the middle of January.

Granted, but that's only because your city gets hit with an improbably large snowstorm: 20 feet?!

I wish I did something so stupidly awesome that it "broke the Internet" for three days straight.

Granted. The Internet goes down completely and becomes unusable for everyone for three days.

I wish I was Killer Frost.

Edited by Spottedleaf on Jan 13th 2019 at 7:39:37 AM

Granted. You get to be the one who died for real

I wish for the space stone

It's a stone. From space. With no mystical powers whatsoever.

I wish my computer would stop making this weird beeping noise.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Jan 13th 2019 at 11:09:11 AM

Granted. Now it constantly plays the Macarena, even when it's turned off.

I wish I could be the EARTH 1 Killer Frost, the one that wasn't impaled on her own icicle.

Granted but eventually your powers grow out of control and you are forced to be mercy killed by the JLA.

I wish my ships became canon, and were shown outright to be

They all feel unfulfilling and end in tragedy

I wish for a totally awesome grenade-launcher

Granted, but the genie mishears you and gives you a GRENADE LAWNCHAIR. As soon as you sit down on it, it explodes.

I wish the Cookie Monster could actually eat all those cookies.

Granted. Now cookies no longer exist because the greedy bastard eats every single one he sees.

I wish I was capable of properly applying eyeliner on my lash line.

Granted. From now on getting eyeliner into your eyes is considered "proper"

I wish for superhuman strength, durability, agility and endurance