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occono from Ireland.
Jul 29th 2009 at 7:52:01 PM

1. Respond to the "wish" above you in a way that completely... well... ruins it!

2. Try to make the "Ruining" at least a sentence.

3. Make a wish at the end of your post.

Example: I wish I was a fish.

Wish granted. You are a large happy tuna who lives as a member of a very large school. However, that school is on the coast of Norway.

Eventually, your school is caught by a large fishing rig and you die of suffucation.

I wish I had a pie.

Sorry if we have this game already and I missed it.

Dumbo
slb1900 Apprentice Potholer from yesterday
Apprentice Potholer
Jul 29th 2009 at 7:54:25 PM

You sure can have a pie! However, nobody checked the expiration date. It's actually 2 months expired, and after your stomach stops burning you'll be in the hospital for a few weeks. Welcome to a very painful period of recovery and abysmal debt!

I need a new computer.

edited 29th Jul '09 7:56:23 PM by slb1900

Kittens have fangs!
Anemotaxis legacy interface
legacy interface
Jul 29th 2009 at 7:58:48 PM

Hope you enjoy your new system with 4 MB of RAM.

I wish I could come up with a wish to post.

Spoiler bookmarklet for iPhone and iPod touch
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:00:23 PM

You wish for The End of the World as We Know It.

I wish I was a godlike entity.

edited 29th Jul '09 8:00:35 PM by Wicked223

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
slb1900 Apprentice Potholer from yesterday
Apprentice Potholer
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:02:38 PM

Your omnipotence traps you in six-dimensional spacetime. No matter what you do, you change reality, which shifts you to a different dimension so you have no permanence whatsoever; you get phased to a different dimension anytime you do anything. Your omnipotence traps you in permanent observance for eternity.

I just got a full scholarship for the college I've been going to.

edited 29th Jul '09 8:04:19 PM by slb1900

Kittens have fangs!
DragonQuestZ The Other Troper from Somewhere in California
The Other Troper
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:05:40 PM

"I just got a full scholarship for the college I've been going to."

And that was funded by the mob. Hope you enjoy drug running to pay it off.

I would like the ability to fly.

I'm on the internet. My arguments are invalid.
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:06:43 PM

You can only fly 1cm off the ground.

I wish I was famous.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:10:11 PM

You are now Hitler.

I'd like a billion dollars.

Aondeug Oh My from Our Dreams
Oh My
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:13:00 PM

Here you are sir. A billion dollars of Monopoly money. What? They're still dollars.

I wish I had a hippo.

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
Haven Planescape Hijack
Planescape Hijack
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:13:45 PM

The hippo is on fire.

I wish I had telekinesis.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:15:12 PM

You can telekenticly bend a spoon in your hand.

I wish thse damn Evony ads would go away.

Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR
Embrace the mindscrew
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:17:45 PM

They are replaced with Head On ads.

I wish I had a pizza.

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.
DragonQuestZ The Other Troper from Somewhere in California
The Other Troper
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:22:50 PM

"I wish I had a pizza."

Enjoy the cyanide baked into the bread.

I wish to be a great marksman.

edited 29th Jul '09 8:23:34 PM by DragonQuestZ

I'm on the internet. My arguments are invalid.
Lanceleoghauni Cyborg Helmsman from Z or R Twice Relationship Status: In my bunk
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:25:20 PM

You become super accurate and a woman.

I wish I had a moderately attractive and understanding boyfriend

edited 29th Jul '09 8:25:40 PM by Lanceleoghauni

"Coffee! Coffeecoffeecoffee! Coffee! Not as strong as Meth-amphetamine, but it lets you keep your teeth!"
Aondeug Oh My from Our Dreams
Oh My
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:49:05 PM

You get this boyfriend, but sadly you become terminally ill within a month. He remains by your side through all this, but it is painful and you die in a few months.

I'd really like one of those cube shaped watermelons.

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:50:29 PM

occono: Jackass Genie

It drops down on top of your head, still in the cement block used to grow it.

I wish that I could drive.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Haven Planescape Hijack
Planescape Hijack
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:58:11 PM

You can drive, but you're on fire.

I wish I was more awesome

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku
Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:59:11 PM

You're more awesome, but you're on fire.

I wish that Haven had come up with something more interesting.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:59:33 PM

You become too awesome for the plot and get a bridge dropped on you.

I wish I had higher standards in media.

edit:Ninja-ed.

edited 29th Jul '09 8:59:50 PM by Wicked223

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
Aondeug Oh My from Our Dreams
Oh My
Jul 29th 2009 at 8:59:41 PM

EDIT: Ninjas love to hit me.

edited 29th Jul '09 9:00:09 PM by Aondeug

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
Aondeug Oh My from Our Dreams
Oh My
Jul 29th 2009 at 9:02:28 PM

Haven does come up with something more interesting. This thing ends up being something that is capable of squicking Tzetze and the universe implodes because of it.

I wish I had a goldfish named Steven.

If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy
DUMB
Jul 29th 2009 at 9:04:07 PM

You get a goldfish named Steven. Unfortunately? You are the goldfish.

I wish that I was on fire.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest
Jul 29th 2009 at 9:04:19 PM

You die of third-degree burns.

I wish I had higher standards in media.

edited 29th Jul '09 9:04:39 PM by Wicked223

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!
Tzetze DUMB from a converted church in Venice, Italy

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