FATAL

This thread... Just... This thread...

I want to be surprised that after so long of a thread, people are still finding new problems, but, really... I can't be.

This thread is like TV Tropes' equivalent of that infamous RPG Net Limbo Of The Lost thread. It just keeps going. And it just keeps getting worse.

This will never die!

Guys... Guys... I read it. All of it. All this thread. I read the book. All the book. All in one sitting. There is nothing left on this earth that can hurt me now. There is nothing left to hurt. I am doomed, but you can save yourselves, please! While there is still one Iota of Hope still left in you, delete the PDF, Stop reading this thread, It's to late for me, I have stared into the abyss, and it has stared back into me. But you are still alive, You may survive! ... I shall die now.

Oh, I'm long gone. I've found that it's hard to break someone who's already broken. It's been a useful tactic, especially when 4chan is involved.

Since no-one seems to have caught it, 'Key of Nomolos' from the magical books section is another terrible shout out for 'Key of Solomon'

Also read this entire thing. Dear god, there is no misery sufficient for Byron Hall.

Since I also fell for the link to the PDF when someone mentioned a "list of everything wrong with FATAL", and no one has pointed it out yet, a lot of the absurdly pretentious Latin is wrong. Just in case you were worried Byron Hall got something right. Most of it can be handwaved as poetic license, but there's definitely places where he gets his numbers/tenses mixed up that I cannot imagine would be because of poetry.

Though, to be fair (and to share a link that is more fun than FATAL), the one mentioned specifically in this thread:

Charmingly, on this page there's the Latin for "I will fuck you in the ass and in the mouth". Just sitting under the Philter list for no real reason.

That might be a reference to Catullus 16 (look it up on The Other Wiki, it's hilarious, but not at work), which is kind of legitimate seeing as Catullus was a real-life famous and well-remembered Roman poet.

edited 24th Apr '10 8:19:48 AM by DragoonWraith

Impossible Geometry why? I spent several weeks catching up with this, and that was when it was only halfway through. Why put yourself through that kind of misery in one go?!

edited 24th Apr '10 8:23:47 AM by GameChainsaw

Masochism and/or you hate yourself?

Yeah, as soon as I get the chance, I definitely need to start the anti-thread to this, to restore balance to the livebloginations.

I'll say this; he has balls. I don't know if I could do that. In fact, I'm pretty sure I couldn't.

Game Chainsaw, I salute you, and suggest you for a Purple Heart.

edited 24th Apr '10 6:28:09 PM by JBridge

Hey bud I did that too! Do I get a Purple Heart?

We need to make a FATAL drinking game. That is fatal.

I already came up with one waaaaay back on page 20.

• Take a shot when you're Squicked.
• Take a shot whenever something's needlessly complicated.
• Take a shot for every massive table.
• Take a shot every time something inane is randomly determined.
• Take a shot every time you can't make head or tail of something (warning: this becomes steadily more frequent)
• Take a shot for every use of the word "circumference".
• Drink yourself into a stupor upon realising you're reading FATAL.

If you want to speed up the process and cleanse your memory at the same time, you can substitute glasses of bleach for shots.

Hell, that'd probably be fatal even with shots of plain water.

The really sad thing is that Hall isn't even that original when it comes to squick. I've read/seen much squickier things than this, but for RP Gs, this does take the disease ridden cake.

I've read this entire thread, the rulebook, and the counter-review all in one sitting, and this is what I have to say. FATAL isn't a game. It's a pornographic maths textbook made by a 10-year old.

I... I have no more words. I have come to the conclusion that FATAL is the closest thing we will ever get to the unabridged necronomicon.

^^ That should be a quote either on the FATAL page itself, or its quotes page.

Ask, and ye shall receive.

edited 26th Apr '10 4:32:50 AM by WillyFourEyes

You know the only good thing about this game? I can work on my homebrew TRPG set-ups in peace, knowing I can never fail worse than Dark Lord Hall.

seriously, if you want a miscast table and fun critical charts just play Rogue Trader. it also is quite realistic in the bang bang your dead rule.

edited 27th Apr '10 6:30:28 PM by Christopholes

Finally done reading the thread. In retrospect, I could be done with my (final exam) analysis report by now instead. All I can say is just...people who finished reading this? You're my heroes now. Such strenght cannot be understood by mere mortals like myself.

Oh, and about 70 or so of the random magical effects actually seem worth exporting to another game. Too bad there's 1000 of them...

So I came across this thread out of Bile Fascination, and it seems I'm a bit late on this, but I just have to mention this quote:

"Oh boy, next is rolling for offspring. You have to roll 1d10, 000, 000. That is ONE TEN MILLION SIDED DIE."

This raises the question, what would an actual 10,000,000-sided die be like? Assuming each number can be magically squeezed into an area of 1 square millimeter, the die would have to be nearly 1.8 meters in diameter.

My hypothesis: The author perpetrator expects players to push the boulder of a die into the Grand Canyon, then send some poor schmuck to hike down, read it, and push it back up. XD

edited 30th Apr '10 11:20:22 PM by Poochy.EXE

Like most of the other posters, I just finished reading this thread. I'd like to start by saying J Bridge and everyone who actually got the book and looked through it have just completed a task worthy of any epic hero (especially Norse, since they were locked in a nearly hopeless struggle against an unimaginable evil), and deserve a song to commemorate their deeds. The details on the game-that-must-not-be-named would need to be kept to a minimum.

Next, time for some mental first aid. I'm guessing if you have just worked your way through this thread, you're probably feeling a little dirty. So, I'd like to give you a little pick me up.

Aren't they cute? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGJ9kbUc8Gc

The makers of Penny Arcade playing d&d with Wil Wheaton, Scott Kurtz and Chris Perkins. Just a quick reminder that the majority of RPG's don't require a disturbed mind to play. http://www.wizards.com/DnD/Article.aspx?x=dnd/4pod/20080530

The target demographic of the game-that-must-not-be-named getting messed up. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDF2NMn3B_o

A Let's Play of d&d started recently on Something Awful. The players are pretty new to the system, but their videos are hilarious. http://www.viddler.com/explore/Wolfshirt/videos/17/

edited 1st May '10 3:26:51 AM by RdMarquis