A must read..............
If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!
A young Canadian paratrooper was taking some college courses between Assignments. He had completed 3 tours of duty in Afghanistan. One of the Courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist and a member of the Canadian Civil Liberties Association (CCLA).
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then I want You to knock me off this platform... I'll give you exactly 15 min."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the soldier got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him clean off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The young soldier went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the soldier and asked, "What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The young soldier stood up and calmly replied, "GOD was too busy today protecting soldiers, who are protecting Your right to say stupid shit and act like an idiot. So He sent me."
The classroom erupted in cheers! THIS IS GOOD, KEEP IT GOING IN MY PANTS!
note
Edited by Playing_with_boy on Sep 12th 2018 at 3:25:50 AM
Well-Intentioned Tyrant
Profits in the US: in General: 5% Fortune 500 Companies: 7% Pharmaceuticals in my pants
"It's not what's on the outside, but the inside that counts. Such is the belief of a pansexual." *jerks it against a literal pan*
"Latvia was sad. Blond women everywhere decided to make everyone happy again by being hot in public." in my pants.
"Are you going grocery shopping today?" My husband, Roy asked when I picked up the telephone.
"I plan to," I answered.
Thanksgiving was only a couple days away. Everyone in our family would be coming to our house. My funds were limited, therefore my box of coupons awaited me in the car. I knew I had to be creative in my shopping that day. I had to stretch every dollar.
For a few seconds, Roy sat silently on the other end of the line. "Why do you ask?" I uttered, fearing what he might say.
"Nancy, there's a family with a half dozen kids that will not have anything to eat for Thanksgiving. The little one is only five-years-old."
"So what are you saying?" I whispered.
"While you're at the store could you possibly buy something for them?" Roy's words echoed in my heart. Groceries¦ a five-year-old¦ eight in the family¦ My head began to spin thinking about the fifty dollars I had reserved for our family's Thanksgiving dinner.
In the back of my mind I counted the hungry guests who would be coming to our house for dinner. I put my head down on my desk, already feeling defeated.
There's no way possible, I thought. But the compassion I heard in my husband's voice struck a nerve inside me.
"Sure," I replied. "But only if God helps."
"Thanks, sweetheart," Roy whispered. "Just do what you can."
He then hung up the telephone. I finished my work and prayed all the way to the nearest grocery store.
I entered the parking lot. I noticed a big sign in the grocery store window: Turkeys - 29 cents a pound.
"This is the place, Lord" I whispered. I grabbed my box of coupons, went inside, secured two buggies, and headed to the frozen foods. The turkeys were indeed on sale, but I discovered one big problem. When I read the sign posted on the freezer door my heart sank. "Limit one."
"But I need two," I uttered to myself. I decided to find the manager. I explained the problem. He made an exception.
After tossing a turkey in each buggy, I began my shopping fury. It was amazing how many buy-one, get-one free items were being featured that day. The first item went into one buggy. The free item went in the other. In addition, I had all the right coupons to get exactly what both families needed for a hearty Thanksgiving dinner. I proceeded to the register and held my breath while the cashier rang up my groceries.
To my surprise, I had enough money. I was even able to purchase a package of cookies for the five-year-old who had stolen my heart, even though I had never met her.
Later that afternoon, Roy and I made a special delivery to a home filled with children of all ages. I will never forget the smiles on the six kids' faces, as they made several trips from my car carrying numerous bags of groceries inside.
This event reminded me of a story. Even though He only had a few loaves and fishes, Jesus multiplied them and fed five thousand people. And to top it off, there was food left over. I wondered if God was doing the same thing that day.
By far, that was the greatest Thanksgiving Day of my life. My entire family shared a hearty meal with us. We had plenty to eat. We even had enough food left over for the evening meal.
That afternoon, when I had time to think about what had happened, I imagined a home, not far from where I lived. There was a mother and a father and six children sitting around the kitchen table, laughing and rejoicing. They enjoyed the same meal that our family had shared together that day.
Then I realized that miracles happen when we step out in faith and in steps God. For with us, some things are impossible. But with God, all things are possible in my pants.
Milo will move to the sqaure in line with the stairs of the gallows and behind Mark in my pamts
Lovely Legilimens
Spider Pig! Spider Pig! Does whatever a spider pig does! Can he swing from a web?
No he can't He's a pig Lookout! He is the spider pig!!
Read more: Simpsons - Spider Pig Lyrics | Metro Lyrics in my pants
Miyamoto Musashi
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/NightmareFuel/LiloAndStitchTheSeries
in my pants
...O_O
FC: SW-1445-0294-1719/PSN: TekkenGirl4Lyfe/Currently playing: Fate/Samurai Remnant
When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent in my pants."
Oh Captain!~
pier in my pants
Don't try and say it out loud
Hey how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside
Neptunia Ichiban
>>trivia games in my pants
shouldn't his favorite genre be RPG and not point and click though
Lovely Legilimens
Those "beating the nominator/tribute to a pulp" events are inconsistent with the other events where the tribute *dies* from being beaten to a *bloody* pulp in my pants.
...ouch.
"I just want what everyone else has, that's all."
Miyamoto Musashi
DL 6 TH 666 in my pants
FC: SW-1445-0294-1719/PSN: TekkenGirl4Lyfe/Currently playing: Fate/Samurai Remnant
Neptunia Ichiban
Agh! What you do- What is all of creatures of strange... this meaning I am on my way to fight now? If that is happen, let me ready for the fighting first! You will be on the way to destruct
TNA gets a Super Crown thrown at them in my pants
...wat
shouldn't his favorite genre be RPG and not point and click though
United forever in friendship and labour, Our mighty republics will ever endure. The Great Soviet Union will live through the ages. The dream of a people their fortress secure.
Long live our Soviet motherland, Built by the people's mighty hand. Long live our people, united and free. Strong in our friendship tried by fire. Long may our crimson flag inspire, Shining in glory for all men to see.
Through days dark and stormy where Great Lenin lead us Our eyes saw the bright sun of freedom above And Stalin our leader with faith in the people, Inspired us to build up the land that we love.
Long live our Soviet motherland, Built by the people's mighty hand. Long live our people, united and free. Strong in our friendship tried by fire. Long may our crimson flag inspire, Shining in glory for all men to see.
We fought for the future, destroyed the invaders, And brought to our homeland the laurels of fame. Our glory will live in the memory of nations And all generations will honour her name.
Long live our Soviet motherland, Built by the people's mighty hand. Long live our people, united and free. Strong in our friendship tried by fire. Long may our crimson flag inspire, Shining in glory for all men to see In my pants
Spongy is currently a contestant on Battle for BFDI on Team Ice Cube In My Pants!
Lovely Legilimens
https://youtu.be/g6NTpxApyO0 in my pants.
Neptunia Ichiban
rhombicosidodecahedron in my pants
shouldn't his favorite genre be RPG and not point and click though
Won't Rest The Fun Apart Vent 22 in my pants.
I missed the part where that's my problem.
Playing appears naked, with a piece of paper in his hand in my pants.
Blitzy....
in my pants
Lovely Legilimens
well pretty much but i fought a war agiainst the furries on the side of the weebs in my pants