The noodle incident

Rehab just doesn't work for some people. Like me and elf porn... damn, I gotta stop saying these things out loud.

You say "elves", I say "Elvis"... Hey, wait a sec...remember that time Elvis went on stage at Madison Square Garden dressed like an elf? It didn't happen? Bullshit! I have the pictures to prove it!

You got pictures of something that didn't happen? Alright, who has been messing around with my fourth instant water maker!?

You can't blame Ariel with all the pollution in the ocean these days.

Edited by Benthelame on Nov 15th 2018 at 11:51:17 AM

In our defense, we weren't trying to pollute the oceans- we were trying to convince Aquaman to recycle his old computers.

What the hell would Aquaman need with computers? Doesn't he know what happens when you mix water with electricity? Just ask Toad. No, not the frog guy. The mushroom guy.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Nov 16th 2018 at 10:02:54 AM

Got to admit, that was one hell of a fireworks display.

Sure, if you call burning down half of the neighborhood a fireworks display.

I'm just amazed the cops forgave us, especially after the fires revealed what we painted on the basement. Still not sure how we got that paint on through the floorboards...

We had the llama god help us with that one, though it cast us 108 animal sacrifices before he would do it.

Y'know, you could've just asked the salamander. Hell, she helped me when I was dealing with that spider monkey takeover!

And how many times did you literally have to kiss her ass for that?

None. All she wanted was that surveillance footage of the Krampus.

You sold my footage of Krampus to the Salamander?! Do you know what I had to do to get that? For starters know that I had to supply Santa with some Beholder tears.

I hear he adds those to his milk. I hear a lot of things about Santa, most of which you do not want to hear.

The last time you said something similar the target of your trash-talking found out! Won't you ever learn!

No wonder we all got coal.

So thaaaaaaaaaaaaat's where my coal bag went!

That was your coal bag? Great, now what am I going to do with 576 gallons of chocolate milk?

Flood Santa's workshop in revenge?

And get even more coal? Yeah, let's blackmail the Easter Bunny instead, that worked out the last time, right?

Isn't that how we ended up with all that chocolate milk? Either way I say we keep it, if that insane man eating cow shows up it's always good to have something we can use to scare it off

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Nov 23rd 2018 at 4:04:48 PM

That's the most roundabout way I've ever heard of telling children about climate change...

We've done worse ways to teach children, remember that fire safety PSA, man that was a trip.

I'll say. I don't think that one kid with the black hair ever recovered. What was his name again? Zuko or Zucchini or something?