The noodle incident

I am somewhat curious about the .5, but please, do NOT explain it. I've learned from the past that it's usually better not knowing.

Like that time with the haunted library? ... Crap, I forgot to check if we paid the missing late fees there....

The library wouldn't have been haunted at all if someone remembered to stop calling for Beetlejuice after the second time.

Oh, wait. That was me. Oops.

In your defense I was in on it to. Sorry, the martians talked me into it.

I keep telling you, never trust the Martians. I don't care if it does sound racist... alienist... whatever. The only aliens you can trust are the Mercurians.

You say that as someone who's only been to Mercury once. Who knew you had to get there by roller coaster?

Oh yea, that is a side effect of one of my attempts to create instant water. Still better than the 20 foot Barney.

I mean, the original was bad enough, but, "I love you, you love me" at 150 decibels from a mentally retarded purple giant... I almost committed suicide over that.

Yeah, thank god we thought ahead and put those metal plates in our skulls. And not just for bullet-blocking, remember the psychic platypi? We could have died that day...

Edited by burinnu on Sep 28th 2018 at 5:22:40 AM

I've been using mine as a radio wave transmitter. Got me into a little bit of trouble on my trip to Budapest, though...

'Shudders' please don't remind me of Budapest. The monks still owe me 3.47$ for crying out loud!

Those monks are deadly serious about their late fees. I almost lost An Arm and a Leg because I tried to return Memoirs of a Geisha 3 minutes before closing time.

So I WAS right about the late fees! Huh, didn't know haunted video stores still existed. Didn't those get exorcised in the mid-90s?

Nah, I think it was more like the early 2000s. A bit too late if you ask me. Not as bad as the infinite closet incident, though.

Edited by CustardAndPie on Sep 30th 2018 at 8:31:38 AM

Yeah, that was really terrible. Thanks for getting my hat though.

Please tell me you don't mean the one that always tries to eat my brain, I really don't want to have to dye my hair purple again. If you're talking about the Hat of Kali, you know the one that drive anyone who looks at it insane, that's okay.

Edited by dutchguy1986 on Sep 30th 2018 at 8:56:44 PM

No, it's the brain-eating hat.

Edited by TheBlueHour on Oct 1st 2018 at 7:25:58 AM

Oh god, I really DESPISE inaccurate names. The hat does not eat your brain, it just makes you incredibly stupid. Okay, it might DISSOLVE your brain a bit, but it doesn't EAT it.

You're all worried about the not-quite brain-eating hat, but what about the plant I dealt with last week? I still have bite marks on my elbow.

No, the hat is worse. At least the plant doesn't break into your house during the middle of the night and eat all your food then dissolve your brain.

Yeah I was just lucky you guys somehow gave me this new brain that you have assured me, just too bad my clone made by that one mad scientist from rotten meat went missing. But why do you guys refuse to tell me how that memory transplant device did the trick? And why do I always smell so bad?

You really want to know the truth? Better have a drink first.

One strong drink later

Okay, here's the truth. Your brain is from that "missing" meat clone. The clone's not missing, he was destroyed when you got his brain. As for why you smell bad... there's a thing called soap you might want to try.

Just don't use Himalayan salt soap, at least when you're sober. Then you're good to go.

Why would you use that even when you're not sober? I thought that Himalayan Salt soap was literally invented by Satan?

Satan this, Satan that, blah blah blobbidy blah. Let's not pin everything on the red guy when stupidity is often a more convincing reason for things like skin pealing soaps and infinite closets... and whatever that thing is in the corner. Where did that come from?