Romance Plot pitfalls to avoid?

So I want to start with a teen romance story instead of an multi-book fantasy eldritch thriller. Because larger audience and less world building. However I know that writing romance is a minefield of its own. What common pitfalls should one avoid when starting? Or things audiences hate that writers erroneously believe that the audience likes?

Poor Communication Kills, big time. This is often used to make characters act artificially stupid, create needless drama, and not talk to each other even when it'd be better for them to do so. Have your characters talk to each other about important things and communicate openly, warts and all.

It's an issue in real relationships, mind. The trick is giving it a believable reason. Maybe one of them is still traumatised by an earlier toxic relationship and decides to stonewall or even leave and cut their losses than risk having their partner use their honesty to manipulate them. Or maybe they can't speak freely about the issues on their end on account of loyalty to family or friends.

Those are believable reasons, which are totally fine for me. But it's another thing to not tell someone, say, important information that could save someone's life or ease their pain, instead keeping it secret and causing needless suffering for both parties as a means to drag out drama. That's not a good way to write a relationship, in any fashion.

Edited by TwilightPegasus on Sep 17th 2019 at 1:06:29 PM

Yeah, Poor Communication Kills can work if it's done realistically, not just for the sake of adding drama.

For example, in my story one backstory relationship was destroyed because neither would be fully open with the other person, but this unwillingness was based in deep character flaws, that they and both were generally unwilling to "rock the boat" so-to-speak, and so kept their true feelings and thoughts hidden until one of them just couldn't take it anymore. Even when they eventually get back together, they have to learn how to properly communicate. The communication issue is a genuine character flaw both of them have, it shows up in other relationships of theirs as well, so put 'em together...

On the other hand, if neither character has any good reason to be hiding information from the other, no good reason to not talk to the other about something important, no good reason to not trust them or want to discuss things with them, then it becomes bad writing.

Tl;Dr: Communication troubles work if the struggle comes from genuine character flaws and doesn't exist just for drama reasons. If the characters would realistically communicate, have them communicate.

Love triangles kill a romantic plot so much, especially if they draw it out over the series and get them together in the last minute.

Also, romance can't heal all wounds. A loving, trusted companion can help someone deal with trauma, but it won't fix it. Someone suffering from PTSD won't recover just because they've met their soul mate. It's the same with depression, psychosis, a crippling phobia, etc. So, don't make the mistake of giving characters serious issues that go away just because their lover...exists. If the relationship does fix things, make it take a long time, and make the love interest be genuinely helpful.

Edited by WarJay77 on Sep 19th 2019 at 9:45:42 AM

I'm trying my hardest to capture that in my The Phantom of the Opera fanfic. I headcanon that Raoul is very traumatized by the events in the Final Lair scene, and I'm hoping to do a good job of showing that Christine does all she can to help, but feels as if it's never enough.

Another one? Double Standards in regards to abuse. Don't treat Female Love Interest punching Male Character as a joke. (This isn't to say there can't be some sense of slapstick, but being punched doesn't become funny just because it's a woman punching a man.) This is a common problem with fics shipping Ron and Hermione- while it's true there's a sense of Belligerent Sexual Tension between them, it should not descend into true, physical violence and be called "comedy".

Edited by Spottedleaf on Sep 20th 2019 at 12:30:53 PM

Yeah, the trauma thing is a thing I'm trying to capture in my story as well. In backstory, one character was left heavily depressed by the death of her parents, along with several other factors. In college, she not only found a boyfriend, but his best friend became her best friend as well. Despite that, and their genuine interest in helping her heal, she took years to really recover. Then, in the actual story, her boyfriend ends up severely traumatized, and it's her turn to help him, but she struggles greatly, to put it in simple terms. Either way, while both of them do end up helped by their relationship, the relationship wasn't the only factor.

And great point with the abuse part. Also, if the idea is to make an abusive relationship, just keep in mind that anyone can be an abuser and anyone can be abused. Beyond physical and sexual abuse, there's also emotional abuse, financial abuse, etc. While you don't want to make a relationship accidentally abusive, you also don't want to make a real abusive relationship into a cartoonish and stereotypical portrayal, not even if the abusive character is the antagonist of the story.

Agree with all of this. I'll have to keep all of this in mind if I ever decide to tackle something like this.

What are some ways a writer can accidentally make their abusive relationships cartoonish and unbelievable?

I was thinking of it being just extremely over-the-top, with the abuser being nothing more than a cardboard cut out that exists only to make the victim suffer, with no motivation, personality, interests, or hobbies outside of just being abusive. In other words, they'd be more of a plot device than a character, an antagonist so exaggerated they stop feeling real.

Most abusers aren't cartoon villains, is all. As long as the abuse is portrayed realistically (which takes research), there's nothing to worry about. Really, I'm just saying to focus on the abuser as a character as much as you focus on the other characters, rather than using them solely as a plot device and making them feel much less realistic (and thus, much less terrifying) in the process.

Also is the fact that a lot of works only really focus on the physical parts, and of course only really shows it as important if a man is the aggressor. So those are other pitfalls to avoid, especially since in the real world, abuse is much less simplified and can come in a variety of forms. So one way to avoid making it into a cartoon is by choosing an unorthodox character to be the abuser, which may take a bit more narrative work and research than just having a big, mean man punch the main female character a lot. (And even if you want to go the man-on-female-route, abuse is still often a lot more subtle than that, and there's a rollercoaster effect where the abuser will often apologize and promise to stop before becoming mean again, which is more realistic than just having someone be constantly cruel with no reprieve).

I say this as someone who is trying and struggling to do this, as my own abusive characters end up on the cartoonish side more often than not even despite this understanding.

Same. I also struggle with that and have been trying to rectify this as of late. Even some of my favorite writers struggle with this even despite understanding that. Again, very good points. I know abusers can also gaslight people and make their victims think their abuser isn't actually being abusive in some way, like making them think their injuries or insecurities are all in their head or trying to avoid taking responsibility for having done something else.

Yep. Pretty much all of my abusive characters are parental/authority figures, but that doesn't really change the fact that I'm trying to make them more realistic and subtle. It's hard.

Anyway, to avoid making this all about abuse, anyone else got advice?

Even though I might be guilty of using other clichés in my own writing, I have no wish to use this one.

Edited by Kickisan on Oct 25th 2019 at 2:48:51 AM

Sorry to interrupt, but I have a few similar questions about romance plot, and just doesn't wanna start a new thread.

So, a few details. The love story of Alice and Bob (not the actual names, of course) is a subplot, although has some impact on the main one. So, my main concerns is about plausibility of this story.

So, this is good or not? Thank you in advance!