Hunger Games Simulation: Beyond the Possibilities

NIGHT◊ (DAMN) 2◊

• Yae Miko wants to start fires. So I don't blame her for being mad at The Speaker for giving her a flashlight. I suppose she could use it to give someone permanent blindness.
• Really? Considering who Vigilante is, I'm surprised he's not thinking of 666.
• Cheese Dragon is made out of cheese, but apparent Oni is made of bologna.
• Midbus turns into a giant octopus and one hard swing of his tentacle sends Gloriosa, Lupin and Dante into the forcefield.
• Shadow Freddy is in shock after being punched by Silverstreak. Or Bluestreak as some sources say.
• Dante might be out of the season, but Zack will make sure he lives on by making a clone out of his dandruff.
• And that was a 70 lb. spinner Bonny took right to the groin. I'm sure that will leave her infertile for the rest of her life.
• The only option Sonoshee has now is to release all her frustrations out on Half as Interesting.
• Kotaro wants to be adopted by Koriko. So he teams up with Kisame in a staged kidnapping hoping he can find a new home. And he does.
• Alastor uses mutated fries to turn Shawn and Gray into seniors. But once again, Fawful proves to be a good guy and returns them back to normal. Good guy Fawful. And Red Hood believes in the power of Good Guy Fawful and thinks this will be the biggest moment of the season. Your expectations are quite low, Red Hood.
• And Milt isn't ready for Picture Day! What will she do?
• I don't think you know what you're getting into, Ephraim. May I remind you Sniper Wolf is an expert sniper and she took down a Metal Gear robot earlier?
• Empty Fuck is a useless fuck as he gives up doing the Ice Bucket Challenge.
• Graham's Number is still reinforcing its superiority by body-slamming Jet Black. Jet Black better feel lucky it's letting him live.
• Tad Strange takes a ride on a tortoise shell.
• Purple Sphere Doomer sings into a magical microphone. It's not even phased at all as the theater collapses around it.
• Wendover Productions now has to deal with cursed objects chasing it around.
• Mark's Pizzeria thinks Mons-Ahgar made a terrible choice filling up some water. But I'm sure it's nothing for the beast. May I remind you she did kill an entire city earlier?
• So wait? Is Jerma his own reincarnation? Or is Takayuki Jerma's reincarnation? The pronoun trouble confounds me.
• Pepperman gets in quite a heated argument over his alternate self in a memo.
• Michael is feeling quite trollish as he releases 3 piglets into the Arena, leaving Brooklyn to chase them all down. But he hunts in vain as there is no true "number 3".
• Give it to Cheese Dragon. He saw his opportunity and took it.
• Timber is hoping to strike fear into Florida Man, probably because the latter isn't all that good with numbers. He's way too intoxicated and impulsive to really do anything.
• Caviar is just sitting back, enjoying a book. He's curious about the contents about the book that says how will you know if Caviar is planning to kill you.
• Faye is missing or so they want you to think. A police detective and a Navy SEAL team up to search for her. But it's all an elaborate trick by Mokap and Balgruuf the Greater as they both blow the former two away after they climb into a foghorn.
• Ironhide also knows how he likes his martinis.

DAY◊ (DAMN) 3◊

• Oni hears voices in his head. And they're all telling him things that can ruin his life.
• Empty Fuck is tired of people being scared of him. He wants friends and asks Midbus for help, despite the fact the latter had briefly turned into an octopus and killed people.
• Florida Man is so entwined with Floridian culture, he doesn't know anything about the Brits.
• Graham's Number is not only a divine being here, it's also quite the good sketch artists as it nails Wendover Productions's avatar.
• Faye is being carried away by a giant bird, presumably to never be seen again. But wait a minute! Here she comes back, with the giant bird all cooked. Now that's what I call a big meal!
• Zack and Makayuki are both under a mistletoe. But they're in no mood to kiss each other.
• Mokap is quite passionate about Skyrim. Maybe we can see some Skyrim characters in the next Mortal Kombat game. Although I'll be disappointed if they don't have any arrow-to-the-knee fatalities.
• Mark's Pizzeria decides to do anyway with Italian music in favor of surprisingly intense ukulele music.
• Kotaro decides he doesn't like living with Noriko after all and bikes away from her into the city.
• Michael uses a potion to make President Snow a little Snowflake again.
• Pepperman has a good excuse why he is hanging around the vents.
• And Mons-Ahgar is a monster in another sense by lying to Sonoshee about giving her a gift. Sure it doesn't involve squishing her flat, but emotional turmoil is always fun.
• Yae Miko's car falls apart and now she has to deal with her car remains taunting her.
• Jerma does not forgive Gumshoe, even if he put all his effort into the breakdance apology.
• Looks like people are onto Caviar now. They all fear he's plotting to kill them. Alastor decides to nerf him by complimenting him, which lowers his attack power.
• Edgeworth reminds Shawn how important it is to smile. And he's right. When I see death, that makes me smile. So spill some blood and smile.
• Kisame asks about Ironhide's scars and we learn that Fawful isn't such a good guy after all.
• Gray knows how to plant his ducks.
• Purple Sphere Doomer has now joined the premium HGS subscription where it can have total access to the lemon emoji.
• Brooklyn doesn't take Timber's criticism of Gargoyles well. So here he swoops down with katanas in hand, yelling "Timber!" before slicing his feet off, making him fall over like a tree. Brooklyn then uses the katanas to shred Timber to mulch.
• RIPperoni drives by Vigilante's camp and drags away his supplies.
• Red Hood went very dark over what happened with Bonny the previous night on social media. That would be the last time he would ever post on there as he's completely disappeared.
• Maybe that's why Rotiart has been stealing that robot cabbage. It's given him immunity.
• Silverstreak and Shadow Freddy are just fine with the caravan they already have. They don't need another one.
• Half as Interesting thinks there are "H"s in Sniper Wolf's name for some reason.
• You would think that's an insult. But it's not. It's actually a valid question. And seeing as how Ephrain was a pig after eating all that pork, Noriko thinks he would have a good explanation for why pigs build houses with the material they use.
• Jet Black sees that if he kills Etie, her Navy SEAL squad will go after him and hunt him down. Wisely, he decides not to go through it.
• Tad Strange decides he's not going to be average anymore. He's declaring himself the final boss of HGS.

later

on

REMAINING TRIBUTES: 47

Edited by MatthewLMayfield on Feb 28th 2023 at 6:39:00 AM

Wow, Noriko. Pretty freaking bold of you to say that to someone who turned into a pig earlier.

Oh no, Lupin has died unceremoniously without killing anyone and/or reaching the podiums. I am ever so angry and full of despair at this most unforeseen of outcomes.

Looks like Fawful tried to turn Ironhide into one of his robots while pretending to be a nice guy by saving people.

And Midbus turns out to be a shapeshifter visibly. I mean, first a bee, now a big octopus?

Edited by Scipion3 on Feb 28th 2023 at 2:15:33 PM

Well, he once became Blizzard Midbus, so having another set of unprecedented powers isn't that far off.

Anyway, I am out. At least one of my tributes died alongside Ichi's so he's not alone, I suppose.

:thonking: Is Graham's Number getting Wendover's face right one of those "you can find everything in pi" situations? Though g64 isn't transcendental, so the principle shouldn't necessarily apply

Hmmmmmm

Teeth-Clenched Teamwork between Silverstreak and Shadow Freddy?

Now that I'm caught up, let me say that I would buy the Jerma Grill.

that sounds like something michael scott might do lol

NIGHT◊ (DAMN) 3◊

• Empty Fuck sings about the three timewreckings that have happened during the HGS. Haven't seen one when I hosted a season. But I hope I can cover one someday.
• Oni adds the Tarragon Pizza theme to a list of Star Wars music for some reason.
• Amazingly enough, Florida Man is actually able to control his impulses when the floating head of Jerma tells him to kill Tad Strange.
• Ironhide is now armed with a sledgehammer.
• Purple Sphere Doomer gets hurt after climbing and falling off a horse. Now it's in a sour mood. Maybe some lemon can help it feel better.
• Gumshoe gets caught for speeding, but he uses his connections in the police force to get a wedding invitation instead of a ticket.
• All Yu can hear is Sonoshee's voice, just taunting him nonstop. Maybe he'll go crazy and ax-murder someone. We'll see.
• Mokap is angry and demands to speak to the manager. But much to his horror, Faye is the manager.
• Brooklyn has a heart attack after seeing Edgeworth. Brooklyn feared he was about to get sued. But Edgeworth is on the rescue.
• As it turns out, Wendover Productions's dad isn't a millionaire and it doesn't have a mom. Or at least a mom it knows.
• Etie takes advantage of her status as a Navy SEAL and smashes all the vending machine food in front of a hungry Half as Interesting. Very cruel, I love it. The only thing she should do is taunt it, saying "are you hungry?"
• Milt has some brand new drugs. Or at least that's what Michael wants you to believe.
• Seeing how powerful it's become, Graham's Number decides it needs a bodyguard. So it creates a new golem to protect it.
• Yae Miko, Fawful and Midbus pose as statues in hopes that Alastor doesn't kill any of them. But Fawful makes the fatal mistake of moving, and he gets torn apart.
• Noriko is proud of her coconet.
• Shawn really doesn't like motorboating, so that earns Rotiart a slap. But it doesn't phase him. He's eaten his cabbage.
• Sniper Wolf is a huge fan of Undertale, so she gives Silverstreak a Steam Pass Card to share the Undertale love.
• Not even the Grim Reaper can resist the pleas of a cat and spares The Speaker.
• Ephraim oinks himself silly after seeing Bonny, Kisame, Zack, Jet Black and Vigilante get devoured by mutant squirrels.
• It is Freddy, so he probably doesn't care about your standards.
• The hunting expedition of Takayuki, Mons-Ahgar, Caviar and Gray go on the hunt for cryptids. But the beasts devour them all. Not even Mons-Ahgar can fight off the creatures.
• RIPeroni has to point out to Balgruuf the Greater that Mark's Pizzeria cannot live in a cookie. But it serves cookies as they make for good dessert after a nice pizza.

DAY◊ (DAMN) 4◊

• Purple Sphere Doomer flies at Milt and pushes her off the edge. But she survives and is thirsty for its citrusy blood. Pucker up.
• Brooklyn is armed with a knife and is going in for the kill on Faye. But Faye instead takes his arm and guides it right into Yae Miko.
• Graham's Number is so confident in spreading its math knowledge, it heads into a dangerous path. Of course some people don't like math. But Graham's Number doesn't care.
• Sonoshee, Wednover Productions and Shawn all beat Mokap, Noriko and Rotiart in a fight. And Sonoshee brags about being the best in the fight. I can relate. I was clearly the superior one when I teamed up with Candy back in Season 254 for hosting duties. I was the one who carried it all just like Sonoshee in that fight. I know the feeling, girl.
• We have ourselves quite a cycle here. Michael introduces Balgruuf the Greater to his so-called lair. And Kotaro watches in amusement as he eats popcorn during the whole thing. But it's the sight of seeing a cat eat popcorn that gives Cheese Dragon a fatal stroke. Like someone bragging about their lair isn't crazy enough, but an animal eating popcorn is crazy enough to kill someone.
• RIPperoni rides a rollercoaster. It didn't even get in one of the cars; it just rode the tracks. But either way, it's been hypnotized by the coaster into being happy nonstop.
• Midbus can turn into a bee and an octopus, so he believes he can bring good fortune to all. Good fortune or death.
• Half as Interesting makes a wish and now it's on its way to becoming fully interesting.
• Guess you could say Jerma popped his cherry on Ironhide.
• More blood, yes! Once again, Etie pulls out her sniper rifle and blows Yu's skull away like a watermelon before she goes off to visit his mother. Rubbing in her son's death, are you, Etie? Coldhearted... I love it!
• The Speaker doesn't have good camera technique like I do. Maybe if he survives, I can show him a thing or two. It takes charisma and only I can show him what it takes.
• Ephraim is the second person to get their head stuck in a science flask. And since there's no Fawful to pull it off him, he's doomed.
• Tad Strange steals Alastor's Tamagotchi and doesn't even take care of it, bringing it back to Alastor, all dead.
• As you can see, Empty Fuck comes from a long line of Empty Fucks.
• Florida Man and Gumshoe have a round of tug-of-war over Mark's Pizzeria. Florida Man might be drunk and hungry, but it works against him as Gumshoe wins this round.
• Edgeworth is tired from prosecuting and puts his lunchbox in the washing machine. Meh, maybe it's a cloth lunchbox.
• Silverstreak has heard what Sniper Wolf did to Metal Gear and fears for his life. He pleads with her not to kill him and even leaks oil all over himself. And Sniper Wolf takes pity on him.
• Oni attends Ichigo's School of Strategy to learn combat strategy and succeeds in the school. But not everyone is happy. Pepperman despises the nominators and wants to kill them all. Guess he really hates Ichi. But he's playing a dangerous game. He's about to get a Power Angery.

double

digits

REMAINING TRIBUTES: 32

Oh well

half as hungry

Damn. To think Midbus had to witness his lord's death at the hands of Alastor while staying still.

Edited by Scipion3 on Feb 28th 2023 at 6:45:12 PM

Shadow Freddy just exists

Why didn't Purple Sphere use his wings?

kotaro go... get that mass murderer title

What have you done, Oni? Hope the tributes stop Pepperman.

Nevermind, then. Fixed it.

Edited by CosmosAndChaos on Feb 28th 2023 at 8:19:11 AM

So Ephraim went so insane that he got himself suffocated in a flask? That... actually kind of adds up.

Also, the Etie Navy Seal arc is oddly kind of in character.

youve got claws brook

You do realize that Ichi is under threat by Pepperman for letting Oni pass his school... right?

Also, that's the longest chain of "reacts to the previous/next event" events I've seen in a while.

Edited by TroperNo9001 on Mar 1st 2023 at 4:19:16 AM

Man, what a horrible way for Ephraim to go. Poor guy. Maybe Eirika's death really did get to him after all. :( RIP

I'm just gonna think about what tributes to send in next.

He actually went insane from watching squirrels kill people. Didn't think his self-destructive behavior would kill him this fast, though.

Heh, yeah. Still, what a nasty way to go.

I'm out.