ITT: We Have All Become Pokémon

"What?" (Ugh, of all the ways to wake up…) "Where?"

"No time to explain!"

"I asked 'Where,' not 'Why!'"

"Behind the conveniently shaped la- I mean, bushes..."

"To the shrubs, got it."

Hello, shrubbery. I am home.

edited 1st Jul '17 8:26:53 AM by shrubBird

I decide to hide as well.

It wasn't too long before Lars' Crew made their back to the riverside grove where they first encountered the bunch of Pokemon they now knew to have been the ex-humans they were looking for all along. Brushing past the trees, Lars once again swung his arms wide in mock surprise upon seeing the Diglett on the other side of the grove.

"Well, well, well!" he yelled, "if it isn't lying little miss has-been! So how does it feel to know that all your godlike power is gone, now that you're just a teensy-weensy insignificant Diglett? I bet it feels real bad, right? Well, how's about this; tell me where all your ex-human buddies are, and maybe I'll go easy on you!"

Meanwhile, Bash kneels down and squints his eyes at the Diglett, looking around the surrounding area. Seeing this made Max brush her chin in concern, looking warily at her 'boss'.

"I think they are getting closer to the trap. Keep hiding."

"For once, I think Andy has a point. Should we head back and check on the others?" Finley asks.

Noriaki watches intently from his tree.

"Hey!" I whisper yelled. "Who the hell are these guys?"

"They want to beat us up, because they think humans are gods!"

Guy didn't dare to move, moving his head only slightly to get a good look at the intruders.

(I curl up a bit tighter)

Cyk is trying to hide his sobbing, and is still in the bushes.'

*I sit atop a lofty tree's branch, looking down at the discourse and doing my best to hide from the trio of fighters. Seems as though things are about to come to blows. Even if Lars and his crew are the aggressors, I'd feel bad if I injured them, or anyone for that matter... and yet at the same time, thinking back to the battle with Dras-Il and the rush of adrenaline I felt, I'm beginning to look forward to the potential of a fight. I want to fight, yet at the same time I don't...*

*Jani gets a touch of nerves as she spots the trio's return, as she only just then figured out how this is going to play out*

*she gets a haughty expression, and boasts* I knew our little ruse would only last so long. *bluffing in a very generic fashion due to her world ignorance* If you think I lament the loss of my old form, you'd be mistaken! The human form if weak, pitiful, prone to disease, easilly crippled for life. As a Diglett, I have youth, vigor, and elemental powers far beyond what you could even imagine!

*dredging up her considerable internal library of anime and video game cliches, she continues with her bald faced lying* The others simply got bored and moved on. *she turns her head to the side, and snobbishly looks up* I, on the other hand, wanted a chance to truly unleash my newfound abilities without consequences.

*she gets ready to give the signal and dig herself down, she baits the trio* Come, and see the crushing power of earth first hand! *she waits for them to cross into the traps*

I snicker incredibly quietly.

Andy sauntered out of Morbitesse's. "I'm outie. I wanna see if any of the other guys back at base became women while we were gone."

[He's staying mostly still...that's good for me, I'd hate to have to wait for him to face another way, I understand how asymmetrical a Pokémon's body can potentially be. I've just been sitting here drawing, looking up at him, drawing a little more—I always like to check—]

[I don't look down at the paper this time, I guess I sort of stare at him... I get a good look at him...well, okay, I am staring at him, aren't I, but...he...he looks...he kinda looks like he's anticipating something, the bob in his float, it's less noticeable. I try to look down to my drawing, but...I'm kinda curious, *why* is this guy here? He hasn't seemed to notice me, that's good, and I hope it stays that way... For now, I'll keep an eye on him as I draw, just in case...]

Lars seems to stop and think for a moment, though it's not immediately clear if he's faking it or not as he bursts out into hysterical laughter immediately afterwards.

"Pfffhahahahahahahahaha! A Diglett? Elemental powers I can't even imagine? Yeahhh, suuuure. I'm lookin' at you right now, an' I can tell you're a high-def picture o' strength! I'm shakin' here! An if I sound sarcastic, that's 'cause I am! Maybe you are more powerful than y'were, but I... nah, I am a freakin' dragon!" Lars boasts, pointing at the ground as though he were hammering something into it. "A li'l brown pipsqueak like you has got nothin' on me, even if y'are more powerful than y'were! In fact, I'm actually impressed you stuck around! You're a thousand years too early to be facin' me!"

As he continued to grandstand, he gradually edged closer to the concealed vine tripwires. A slightly puzzled-looking Max began to follow after him, but was stopped in her tracks when Bash held up an arm in her way. "Bashamo..." he muttered, cautiously. "Bashamo."

"Arcsdamn... I think y'might be right," she muttered back, before turning her attention to Lars. "'Ey, Lars, y'might wanna watch yer step."

"UGGHHHHHH!" the dragon groaned, turning back to face them. "How many times, you two?! I'm the one in charge here! I do whatever the hell I want! I've had enough of you thinkin' just 'cause you're bigger you can order me around! Y'even worse than my freakin' dad, an' I don't even pay his checks! Tell me, what could possibly be dangerous about this brown pimple?! Gimme one reason why I shouldn't smash that lyin', disrespectful liar into the soil!"

"BASHAMO, BASHAMO!" Bash yelled in his face, coming very close to picking up the dragon. Max proceeded to once again facepalm and turned away, knowing what was coming next.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU! An' get the hell outta my face, you... budget Moltres! Just watch an' learn, both o' yous!"

With that, he turned back to see the Diglett had not budged an inch, just looking as smug as ever. He attempted to crack his knuckles once again.

"...So, aren't y'gonna come over here, huh? That how it is, is it? Y'talk a great game, but can't back it up? Freakin' typical. I bet y'never even destroyed the planet!"

edited 1st Jul '17 3:58:20 PM by PresidentStalkeyes

"I guess so, it's not like we have much else we can do here. We let Morbitesse know about our situation, and it's up to her if she wants to help us any more or not."

Mila stands up, and looks over to the Beldum in the corner.

"Oh, hey there! I think we're getting ready to go out, you guys should come with us."

*thinking to herself that they may be stronger than they look, Jani goes a bit off script* Ohohoho! Stories of the planet's demise are greatly exaggerated, but if you insist, I will tell you the tragic, completely fake and non-canon, harrowing tale of the planet's downfall and our escape.

*pauses briefly to digest all the party has told her about the world, and then comes up with* You see, we saw the end coming from a mile away. Having consumed virtually all of the planet's resources, we had but two options: To take everything with us and colonize other, resource-rich planets, or to alter ourselves so as to adapt to such a resource-poor environment. The majority of us chose the former, and are likely conquering other planets and subjugating their Pokemon with ease.

*catching a wave from that, she gets a confident look and continues, looking Lars directly in the eyes* Our group, on the other hand, chose to undergo the alteration. We were placed in stasis chambers and altered with nanotechnology, ever so slowly as to not send our bodies into shock. Using our vast libraries of Pokemon DNA, we reconstructed ourselves, piece by piece into the forms you see today. It took a bit longer than we expected...

*she dramatically, from her POV, moves the dirt around her in a sine wave as she boasts* ...but we have made ourselves into the perfect specimens!

Now, to understand the human struggle, one must understand its history... *she continues to filibuster endlessly, going on about the history of the human world, but repurposing it ever so slightly*

edited 1st Jul '17 4:24:56 PM by sarysa

I nearly fall asleep listening to Jani go on and on and on and on.

Noriaki still watches intently.

Genius, Jani, he thinks to himself, Judging by Lars's nature, he'll grow bored and impatient with Jani's rambling and be in a more agitated state and thus more likely to charge forward.