Epic Failure Game

The cat suddenly hisses at you, tries to bite you and scratch you. Your cat's angry with you for the rest of the day.

Everyone bombs it for Complaining About Shows You Don't Like.

I try to play a sad trombone.

You end up playing a really cheerful song instead, some nearby people hear it and join in with bagpipes they have yet to figure out

I dance at a party

As good of a dancer as you think you are, you're so embarrassingly bad it physically hurts anyone that tries to watch.

I attempt at making a grilled cheese sandwich and some soup.

Edited by aspiko on Mar 13th 2019 at 1:58:04 PM

You accidentally make a grilled soup sandwich.

I attamept to poison the punch at a wedding.

you accidently use immortality potion, everybody at said party now can't die.

I try to paint my nails

So, you were trying to paint your fingernails? You've painted the kind of nails used in construction instead.

I try to change a flat tire.

You try to fix it by stabbing a bicycle wheel with a knife, and putting the place where air is escaping into the flat tire. It does not work, and the owner of the bicycle stabs you with the knife you have for destroying his bike.

I respond with "k" to a long forum post.

You respond with "KKK" instead

I try an obstacle course

You trip over a penny and break your toes before you can even get on the course.

I try to inflate a balloon.

The air rushes back into your mouth and you get inflated and float away.

I try making a puzzle.

Instead, the puzzle makes you, Russian Reversal style. You end up utterly puzzled.

I want to drink wine with friends.

you end up drinking water alone, apparently your friend jesus is busy.

I try to hard boil eggs.

You didn't get chicken eggs, you got ostrich eggs. The mother ostriches Zerg Rush you, kick you to death, and get their eggs back.

I try to burp the alphabet.

You vomit instead, the vomit stains resemble letters, but in the wrong order

I try to cross a tightrope

You end up snapping the rope while you were above a spike-pit.

I attempt to do the Dishes.

You end up acting out the song Blunt the Knives.

I try to yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater.

You start a fire instead

I try to climb a mountain

You fall on your face. While you climb the mountain.

I become a mod.

You wrongly ban an innocent and the other mods take it out on you, leading to your own banning.

I build a LEGO masterpiece.

Your so-called masterpiece is nothing more than the words Everything Is Awesome, causing you to lose LEGO privileges.

I watch a baby show on TV.

You are now the star of a new “Grounded” series on Go Animate, co-starring with Caillou. It’s a crap job and you get little to no pay for being mocked.

I am watching anti-smoking ads.

You start smoking and develop lung cancer out of spite for those anti-smoking commercials.

I try to watch a Jontron video on youtube.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Mar 15th 2019 at 8:36:23 AM

You accidentally watch his racist rant about immigrants. Furthermore, due to a virus, all of his videos are said rant.

I make a sandwich post.

It becomes a Donut post.

I try to use hyperbeam