Give a Job to the Avatar Above

Rules are simple:

1. Come up with a random job to the above avatar. The job can either be one that exists in Real Life or a made-up one.
2. The job does not have to relate the the above avatar, so you can give them an unfitting job if you want to.
3. Once you have posted a job for the above avatar, the above avatar now works at that job regardless of whether or not they like it.
4. Finally, the above poster must post the above avatar's reaction to the job and how well they are faring at their new job.

An example of a made-up job is "head of the insurance company that pays for Godzilla's property damage"

Shiny Rayquaza:   I'm bored, so I wonder what kind of job I'm going to get.   

   GAH! Curse my tiny arms! The fishing line keeps getting tangled, I'm so strong with casting the line that the impact pushes the surrounding fish a mile away from me, and I constantly break the fishing rods on accident due to my strength and have to buy a new one each and every time!   

edited 19th Jan '17 10:53:57 PM by TheGamechanger

Fisherman.

Aah, my parents aren't going to be pleased by the fact that I'm working in such a lowly job...

edited 19th Jan '17 10:58:21 PM by fdiaperhead

Sports mascot.

It's a...mixed bag? I guess. I'm on the clock all the time, and I have to teleport all around the world, but at least it's not like I'm getting any more depressed. Besides, giant wolf skeleton once a month. That's ****ing metal.

edited 19th Jan '17 11:04:16 PM by TheGreatUnknown

Grim Reaper

King Tsar Tyrantrum XIII:   MWAHAHAHAHA! Yes, my dinosaur brethren, take over the mainland now that I've released you from your cages!   

edited 20th Jan '17 5:04:09 AM by TheGamechanger

Dinosaur park worker.

But... I'm a professional sp- I mean, school student! I'm too young for this.

edited 20th Jan '17 5:17:40 AM by arcada188

Footsoldier.

Ooh, that would be so much fun! I'd play with the kids, take care of them, it'd be great!!

edited 20th Jan '17 5:12:57 AM by BaconZorp

Daycare worker.

Hey, I'm only 14! I don't have proper training for this...

edited 20th Jan '17 5:17:48 AM by fdiaperhead

Sewage Treatment Plant worker

King Tsar Tyrantrum XIII:   Hello kids! It's Chompy the Birthday Clown here to make the best day of your life even better with this song! "I love you, you love me, you're all such delicious children. With a laugh and a bite from me, you'll all feel great inside my belly!"   

edited 20th Jan '17 5:22:56 AM by TheGamechanger

Birthday clown.

A douche with improper ID tries to get in.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. This ID is invalid!

Yeah? Well how about I just get your number instead?

Hmm... Well I like 12 a lot...

edited 20th Jan '17 6:43:38 AM by BaconZorp

Bouncer at a nightclub

Shiny Rayquaza:   I'm used to being worshipped. That's how I Mega Evolve in the first place!   

edited 20th Jan '17 9:59:17 AM by TheGamechanger

Object of worship.

Let's just say he doesn't last long at this line of work.

edited 20th Jan '17 9:50:06 AM by ArmoredFury

Prostitute.

It's a nice job, but... what's a "fugly?"

edited 20th Jan '17 9:56:38 AM by BaconZorp

It's like "Ugly" but F***ing ugly.

Model for "Fugly Weekly" (not front page, of course)

"Tragedy today as a flaming schoolbus crashed into a gas station, There are 13 dead, and 1 injured. Our reporter tried to get an interview, but was told "Go away, least it wasn't Dr. Gerald driving that bus.""

edited 20th Jan '17 10:10:54 AM by Jaxfirebus

A replacement vehicle for the Magic School Bus

Shiny Rayquaza:   ...oooh my aching jaw.....   

edited 20th Jan '17 10:09:39 AM by TheGamechanger

Tunnel boring machine.

All the other band members left me ... apparently my voice was too flat for them. What did they expect, after dealing with centuries of sorrow there's nothing left for me to care about.

edited 20th Jan '17 12:23:03 PM by Cabe_Bedlam

Emo band singer.

Maybe, but I don't think I have the right sense of humor...

edited 20th Jan '17 10:05:25 AM by CyberController

Comedian.

Ever see the South Park episode "Butters' Bottom Bitch?" Pretty much that.

edited 20th Jan '17 10:08:37 AM by BaconZorp

Pimp

Shiny Rayquaza:   I was fired since I kept accidentally killing the people I was supposed to care for due to my sheer size moving about in the cramped rooms.   

edited 20th Jan '17 10:25:14 AM by TheGamechanger

Orderly for a Nursing Home. Have fun with that.

World Destroyed, Reset Button pressed.

edited 20th Jan '17 4:22:11 PM by Jaxfirebus

Decepticon

Shiny Rayquaza:   I was fired from the aquarium for A) being so powerful that one of my sneezes broke the tank I was in B) I broke the tank on the first day of the job and C) the debris from the tank killed several paying visitors as well as the owner of the aquarium during a ribbon-cutting ceremony.   

edited 20th Jan '17 12:44:08 PM by TheGamechanger

Aquarium celebrity.

Ha! I already lead a gang. Horace and Pantsy are always near me.

edited 21st Jan '17 4:33:25 AM by arcada188

Gang leader.

Er....Uh...I'm kind of alright with that.

Though I'm sure that the ladies are much more than cliquey stereotypes.

edited 20th Jan '17 3:57:53 PM by RandomWriter413

Shy Gal harem lead.

No! I'm fine being a human.

edited 20th Jan '17 4:00:52 PM by CyberController

Bisexual vampire.

Oooh! So I can do whatever now? I think I'm gonna... Wait, no I should... Uhhhhh... I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!

edited 20th Jan '17 4:01:50 PM by BaconZorp

God

Shiny Rayquaza:   Let's just say it didn't end well when my patient's backstory triggered me.   

edited 20th Jan '17 4:13:52 PM by TheGamechanger