Push the button?

The I just press it once.

You gain a pet monkey

BUT

It's smarter than you and it looks like it wants to avenge it's species.

No.

You get full access to all internet site for free.

BUT

Every discussion you view turns into a Flame War.

*Grabs popcorn*

All things you rent from Rent-A-Center are instantly yours for life and you don't need to pay them back

BUT

You must do them a favor you can't refuse

Not taking any chances.... no....

You can cook well

BUT

You also absorb every recipe ever made on SPAM.

Sounds cheap and delicious. In!

You now rule the multiverse

BUT

You can never find your true love

edited 8th Jun '14 11:03:32 AM by KingKix

Eh.... No thanks...

You can beat every game ever made with no problem.

BUT

The Minute you finish the game, it explodes, destroying the game but leaving the Console Fine. It'll also destroy all your saves from that game.

(You can still buy new versions of these games and play them again)

If I were playing a terrible game, that would be useful, but after that, what's the point?

You are now Robo Cop

BUT

You live in low-crime small village town where the highest criminal act there is loitering.

No thanks.

You can drive any vehicle safely.

BUT

There is a random chance that a nearby vehicle will crash.

No. Even if I do have improbable driving skills, there's still that chance for me to be involved in an accident which renders said skills moot.

Any Theme Music Power-Up will actually power you up in Real Life to allow you to go Beyond the Impossible.

BUT

You'll suffer Awesomeness Withdrawal the moment the song ends. Symptoms include extreme boredom, highly unmotivated disposition, low energy, depression, and paranoia to silence.

edited 9th Jun '14 2:52:46 AM by aNinjaWithAIDS

How long does the withdrawal last? Need to know that first.

You become your avatar, with all its strengths

AND

Its weaknesses, too.

The world is FUBAR'd now.

You take over your favorite anime and own it now.

BUT

You kill the original owner.

I'd do that, yep.

You become a superhero!

BUT

You face a deadlier threat each day

<— She pushed that button herself, ironically. I'd push it too.

You become the ultimate creative thinker and problem solver!

BUT

You also become an apathetic Insufferable Genius, everybody else makes you like All of the Other Reindeer, and your only friend is your first invention which does nothing particularly useful.

edited 9th Jun '14 6:52:35 AM by aNinjaWithAIDS

My life will now be a Martin.S film? Nope.

You will now become a daring, strong, and globe-trotting reporter like Tintin

BUT

your team is made out of a python as your pet and a lazy bum as your Capt. Haddock

I don't really see why I would want that.

You can run as fast as Sonic the Hedgehog.

BUT.

Dr. Eggman can run faster than you.

He's not a real person, so YES!

You are a billionaire

BUT

So is everyone else, and everyone's competing for more cash.

No.

You are now God

BUT

\You can't do natural disasters and control the faith of people

Time for the apocalypse. *makes the WORST GENERATION*

You can now execute any meme on the planet.

BUT

The first thirty must be executed on your Gf/Bf.

Push. I don't have a girlfriend.

You can fly

BUT

You can no longer walk

Deal!

You are very popular on Tumblr

BUT

\You will never be able to make a decent commission for anyone

No thanks.

You can summon and banish a badass monster from another dimension at will.

BUT

He pulls pranks on you while you're asleep without being summoned.

edited 12th Jun '14 12:43:20 AM by Ghostninja109

No.

You can lift a minigun

BUT

You cannot fire it.

No.

You become a shapeshifter

BUT

\ You can only change into a cat, hamster, and a boomerang

edited 12th Jun '14 9:40:51 AM by KingKix

Pfff, yes! Better little than nothing, right?

You can meet any of your internet friends you want, no limits.
BUT...
You lose all the friends you already had.