Post some Mass Effect fanfic here!

Basic synopsis and justification of my rewrite idea (copied because I'm lazy):

"Mass Effect 2/3 total rewrite: Mass Effect and me have a strange relationship. I both like it and utterly despise it at the same time. I occasionally read well reasoned reviews, breakdowns, posts, etc. of why the entire series sucks, especially 2 and 3. I one day figured that I should draft up my own total rewrite of of ME 2/3 (I called them NME 2 and NME 3 (NME = New Mass Effect)). I use only ME 1 as a a base for canon (speaking that it holds up the best at least storywise and at the time I was coming up with the idea was the only objectively good ME to me. I now know ME 1 is objectively shitty as well) and totally removed any other canon after that (Bioware's ME 2 and 3 are still pools for ideas, but they don't actually ever happen in my rewrite.). The new major plot point is figuring out how to use the Citadel relay as a way to permanently destroy the Reapers on the other side, who are currently in hibernation in dark space. All the while, Shepard and co. must fight off the Geth faction that where allied with Sovereign and Saren in ME 1 and stop them from contacting the Reapers, among other things. Other main goals would be making allies, training and building relations with your crew and squad, finding out the secrets of Reaper tech, finding out about and exploring the galaxy, improving your own and your allies' tech, and other things. Among new features and in no concern if they are substantial or not include: diplomacy; expanding squad interactions, including for the possibility of them leaving you entirely and just helping with the project in general; hybrid overheat/thermal clip weapons; downplaying the romance mechanic (unfortunately I can't remove it due me being bound by ME 1) and bringing in a "friendship" mechanic, including the possibility of being "best friends" with squadmate or major crewmmate; playing as squaddies; a more open and sandboxish approach to handling the goals; and many more that I'm too lazy to post. NME 2 and 3 would likely many years (maybe even a decade or two) to think out and make but given the objective quality of Bioware's ME trilogy, it might be worth the risk and seems like it could be awesome. I unfortunately do not have my initial design doc even ready and due to me being lazy and me having a couple months where I outright despised the series. I also do not have it completely thought out, especially the basic story, but my intention was always to have others help make up ideas, make them make sense, and make them flow well and logically. This is one of my most worked on ideas even though I know many would hate the idea; tell me to focus my energy on better creations; etc. Maybe I want and excuse to actually like the series on objective terms and actually impress the people who critically analyze Mass Effect and newer games (they're usually right)."

Note, this is more of a design doc than a conventional fanfic. Feel free to comment.

...you've probably lost the vast majority of Mass Effect fans when you say "I hate Mass Effect's story, but like it enough to rewrite it... but better."

Well, that depends on the Mass Effect. Lot of people out there still not happy with Three. Two, not so much.

The "objectively" bad statement is also a pretty good sign you shouldn't be allowed to write stuff. Objectively bad writing is possible at the sentence-by-sentence and paragraph-by-paragraph level, and I will gleefully provide examples, but that was not a problem this series suffered from.

edited 3rd Jun '15 2:29:27 AM by Night

If you're going to do a game design document (while disrespecting the devs and thinking you can do better than they can), just do your own original thing and start small. Otherwise, you'll just come off as an egocentric asshat.

(EDITED)

edited 22nd Aug '15 8:59:44 PM by NordRonnoc

Oh, Night, I don't know that you're also ME fan!

That aside, now I'm considering an Mass Effect/ Star Craft Fusion Fic, which involves First Contact scenario between Koprulu's Alliance (Dominion, Protoss and Zerg) and Citadel Council. Point is, Council races already has experience with fighting UED, so they kinda understand what they will face on Terran. Also, makes lower caste Batarian flocks on UED cause simply because UED (or its internal faction) actually provides better living arrangements than current Hegemony. On slaves, UED, instead of banning slavery altogether, simply making 2 years licenses for slave owning, which many lower caste Batarian actually didn't mind (after all, if you can only has 1 or 2 slaves [because slaves cost quite a fortune], then you will treat them better, for pragmatic reason if nothing else).

On UED, the fact that their "pacification campaign" end up FUBAR actually causing them to lost legitimacy, causing rebellion and the growth of mercenaries, which often becomes part of MegaCorp, which, in the end, actually begin to affect UED as a whole.

Also, plasma-based weapon can be countered by kinetic shield if the setting is right.

That's for bow, still working on kinks.

So wait, are canon divergent fanfics not supported here? Because I thought his fanfic idea was pretty cool and an interesting attempt at a rewrite, but if people in here don't support that kind of fanfiction then what is supported here?

I know I made posts about a crossover fanfiction, and people seemed supportive. What is it about his canon-divergent ideas that lose support? I don't get it.

It's nothing wrong with canon divergence. It's just that he's really coming across as smug, aka "Here's how Mass Effect should have been, and I totally know better than the writers".

Ahhh. So it's a question of attitude.

I was just asking because I have my own canon-divergent idea to help me tolerate a character I dislike, and it had a bit of a butterfly effect onto the rest of my fanfic continuity. I was concerned I might not have much of an audience.

All fanfics should follow where their nails lead. Make Shepard an ex-confidence artist, and they'll easily pull off Charm/Intimidate checks the game doesn't even give you.

Haha, that's an interesting idea actually, probably for an Earthborn Shepard too

My canon divergent idea was one where Liara was rescued late, but then left in Dr. Michel's clinic on the Citadel for medical attention (since by then she's starved, exhausted, and angry) while Shepard & co. were arguing with the Council. So Liara was on the Citadel as a civilian during the Battle of the Citadel, and never really knew anybody on the Normandy nor got to learn very much about them.

This Liara wouldn't really go after Shepard's body because she doesn't know the commander, so instead she skips straight to going to the Prothean Archives on Mars. While there, she meets Feron, who is there to gather data to give back to the Shadow Broker. Liara and Feron fall in love.

Eventually, Liara finds the Crucible data, but Feron refuses to send it to the Shadow Broker because it's urgent and needs to be revealed to governments, not locked away in some archive. That's when the SB starts sending his troops against Liara and Feron, and adventure happens.

Eventually, the SB agents successfully steal the data and kidnap Feron, but Liara manages to get away. So she ends up going after the Shadow Broker for a completely different reason, spending time getting stronger on the weekends to make sure she can flay him alive properly, and once she becomes the Broker she starts work immediately on the Crucible.

I think it's an interesting idea, at least.

So others post what they feel and they're fine? While I post what feel and get attacked? Double standard much? I'm tired of people saying "No King, you can't feel such and such way because you're never right unlike us" (among other things). People practically always shoot down what I feel and temporarily make me feel bad inside for feeling that way. Then I either go back to the way I feel, move on, etc.

And about my rewrite, why is it so terrible? I get nothing else but "you're rude" and stuff. I'm rather passionate about it even if it never will be released. And it was always meant to be collaborative later on (speaking that I'm a bad writer). I can't feel that ME is poorly written? People....

You want to continue this discussion, PM me. I'm not going to go into a flame war with you on the thread and bring it down.

We're not attacking you. We're criticizing your idea, and views. There is a huge gap between the work and the author, for example: I don't like Joss Whedon as a person, but his movies and tv shows are damn good.

What's happening here is that you're coming across wrong. You're giving us bullet points on what you think is better, and what you've given us... feels like you're saying that you know better than paid, professional writers. And in most situations, saying that you're better at something than someone who does that thing professionally, while giving no evidence to support your claim, will come across really badly. (The natural exceptions being if you're playing up for comedy, and you're not; or if the professional is so bad at their job, it's a wonder how they have that job in the first place, like Uwe Boll.)

Besides that, you're saying the plot of the Mass Effect games are "objectively bad". And while, yes, things can be objectively bad (See again: Uwe Boll)... Mass Effect ain't. Mass Effect has received critical acclaim for it's narrative. And while critical acclaim doesn't mean something is good (I fucking hate Hugo with a passion), it's generally a good indicator.

Jane: Honestly, that sounds like a pretty good For Want Of A Nail fic. Unless Shepard is permanently dead, you'd have to find another way for Shepard to be recovered by Cerberus though. Shadow Broker gets the body first, in-canon.

Slightly iffy on the Liara/Feron romance, but I ship Liara/Javik anyway.

And yes, my Shepard is Earthborn/Sole Survivor. Not the only nails I'm dropping (it's a crossover with a film that has magic in it, so that's gonna be a big one), but I've fleshed his time with the Reds out a bit more than canon.

You know. I would have totally loved Liara/Feron be a thing. In fact I would have loved to be able to get them together in-universe so she wouldn't be pining for you even though you probably have a love interest (Garrus and Tali, FTW!).

Oh, Shepard's death will be circumvented in that AU to compensate for Liara's lack of involvement. Shepard is just put into a coma instead. Still out of commission for two years for the time skip purposes, and her body will still be stolen by Cerberus, this time by moles in the Alliance medical division.

And yes, I agree. Liara should be allowed to move on if Shepard isn't a love interest. Hence why my AU Liara focuses on her relationship with Feron rather than on a Shepard she barely knows and was pretty rude to her when they met anyway.

edited 3rd Jun '15 12:46:39 PM by CalamityJane

That's pretty clever, really. Guessing it's so that Shepard owes Cerberus less that they do in canon?

Yes, exactly. If Shepard were stolen and upgraded against her will by a terrorist organization, then Shepard would not go with Cerberus after Freedom's Progress. This Shepard instead runs off with the quarians, and things juts go more and more off the rails from there.

LET'S DERAIL ALL THE RAILS!

edited 3rd Jun '15 12:51:12 PM by heliosKAISER

Hmm. The only problem there is that Shepard can't get the good people in Cerberus (Gabby, Kenneth, Kelly, Miranda and Jacob) out. But seeing as she hasn't met half of them that wouldn't factor in to her decision.

The Shepard in my fanfic also hates Cerberus (Sole Survivor who knows what they did on Akuze), but he wants to get the good people out, and he's also realized that it'll be much easier to take Cerberus down if he does it from the inside.

Haha, and to think this all stems from me just disliking Liara's character in the Mass Effect games . Even the smallest of changes makes a huge difference in how I see Liara, and in how the events of the story play out.

Well, I do have an idea for a subplot regarding a mutiny on the Normandy after everyone who signed on to work with Shepard realized Shepard didn't even want to be there. Miranda would try to keep control but ultimately fail once Garrus is recruited (probably after Mordin and Jack are), and he'd kickstart the mutiny. All the good people (sans Miranda, Jacob, and some xenophobes) manage to flee Cerberus of their own accord that way, while Joker takes the Normandy to the last known location of the Migrant Fleet to grab the Commander and get the ball rolling.

Then it turns into a competition between Commander Shepard and Miranda Lawson to see who can stop the Collectors first, lol.

edited 3rd Jun '15 1:09:46 PM by CalamityJane

Going back to Pokemon, I can see a Blaziken just tear through a batarian slaver ship. Some of them wouldn't even see it coming. Speed Boost and all...

I think the turians might warm up to them when or if humans let them train them.

Demons on the other hand...

edited 3rd Jun '15 3:08:49 PM by heliosKAISER

I've put the Pokemon crossover on hold for now. It's not a project that I can undertake on my own.

GeekCodeRed, I apologize for my behavior. I've should've said what you've said. Then again, I might be apologizing to the wrong person here.

edited 3rd Jun '15 8:54:11 PM by NordRonnoc

I think Feraligatr is willing to listen if you PM him. He seems to have taken the criticisms very personally. I wish you luck.

I don't think I've posted this, but I completed the revised prologue to A New Day. Check it out! Let me know what you think.

Anyone know of some good-quality fanfics in which Shepard carves out an alternative to the Catalyst's three choices that leads to permanently neutralizing the Reaper threat without having to either commit genocide upon synthetic life across the galaxy or Shepard having to essentially die in order to either dominate the Reapers or convert all life into a balanced fusion of organic and synthetic, as well as averting the complete destruction of the Relays that is a possibility with some of the canon endings? The only fic I know of that even comes close fails one of those criteria, namely the Relays are completely destroyed in the course of Shepard's otherwise ingenious plan to destroy all the Reapers without affecting the geth and other synthetic life, which strands the Normandy crew on a planet several centuries away from Shepard and his tiny portion of the crew with the non-Relay-based FTL that the galaxy's civilizations are now limited to.