Epic Rap Battles Of Our Avatars

The rules are simple. Post a retort, Badass Boast, ludicrious threat, Stealth Pun or all of the above from your avatar to the above avatar, However, this must be done with rhythm and rhyme much in the style of Epic Rap Battles Of History.

Post the name of your Avatar above your rap so that it will stay relevant over the test of time and allow those unfamiliar with the avatar to get a chance to figure out who they're dealing with. You may post an Avatar pic as well.

'BEGIN!'

The Meta

My name is Sigma, and these are my friends,

We are the Meta, and we are your end!

your rhymes are like something thought up by a shishno,

Agent Maine is on your tail - there is nowhere to go.

We will rip out your skull,

and steal your ability.

Bring us one step closer,

To metastability.

edited 18th Nov '12 3:31:31 PM by SR3NORMANDY

What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?

Magneto

My name? Erik Lehnsherr, but you can call me Magneto.

I'm the hope of mutantkind, fightin' me is a no go.

I'mma beat you to death, before ya even start blinking.

Fighting me with metal suits? Man, what were you thinking?

I'm the Master of Magnet, bitch, better not lie.

Prepare yourself, muthafucker, cuz WELCOME TO DIE!

edited 18th Nov '12 6:59:58 PM by LatverianBadger

"Shake the dust." - Anis Mojgani

Sonic the Hedgehog

Sonic's the name, and speed is my game and I'm bout to put yo' whole entire crew to shame Rappin' fast as lightnin' I'm wreckin' beats like some vikin's, you think that you can battle me, man, now that's just triflin' On a daily basis, the Earth I save you make papers sticks fridges to kids can show off their grades True blue, old school, I take nothin' from no fools Wanna race? You lose I think you better go, dude You say yo' skills can match mine, but I ain't seen proof Oh wait, I think I hear ya mom calling, gotta juice!

edited 18th Nov '12 9:00:09 PM by PhysicalStamina

To pity someone is to tell them "I feel bad about being better than you."

Lahn Dorkus

Out of the way, it's the Kami of Fertility

Nobody can comprehend the extent of my abilities

Terrakinesis, flight, and psychic powers too

You wanna fight? Just be ready to lose!

Though I may be benevolent most of the time

It doesn't mean I can't make some sick rhymes

I don't care that I don't have genitals

Even if I did, I'd still be a girl

Speed can't help you, kid, go back to playing with your dolls

Because I will live forever, so suck on my Master Balls!

edited 19th Nov '12 11:42:02 AM by Landorkus

(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)

As the Avatar besides me shows, I am Gurt The Lime Man *

.

What up fellow Meta Guards, It's me the Lime Man

Gurt's my name and the fictionals are to ban

off the fourth wall, that's my job with my gatling gun.

Maybe you should just quit cause I already won

My name makes the Administrator laugh with glee

Cause I'm such a badass that you wanna be me

YEAH BOY!!

edited 20th Nov '12 2:13:51 AM by JRPictures

I'm on Youtube Reviewing Things Cause I can.

• Enter Albert camus smoking casually as a smooth beat plays

Yeah my name is albert camus*

albehr camoos

, So what's it to you

It's in your lamass dreams

You're a badass meme

Because in this grand scheme

Your user starts to scream

You see the- (sudden speed up)

problem with the existential outlook and nihilist reaction to that damn book and the problem of existence in an unforgiving world when you life goes on around you and you try to get the girl can be solved with some devotion to the principles of good although it doesn't make a difference and you are misunderstood and as our lives go on and dwindle on an unforgiving clock we show sysiphus' smile while we push up go-o-ds rock.

Can you mirror principles

Of some imbecile

When living irl you're hardly criminal

You citrus hellion

I run rebellion

Both existentially

And stabbing damn nazis

Mon chanson est finite

mais ton ouvre est messy

Noir merci!

• Meant noir sil-vous-plait as in "N****er please." Which instead came out as "N****er thank you" Pardon my french.

edited 20th Nov '12 7:53:54 AM by sonofkong

Out of Mind

Dr. Ivo Robotnik

YOU LIMP-BRRRRAINED LOSERS, IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

I COULD WRRRRRITE BETTER RRRRHYMES WITH MY HANDS IN MY SHOES!

YOU THINK YOU CAN OUT-RRRRAP DR. RRRRRRBOTNIK?

THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING I'VE HEARD SINCE A SONG WAS DEDICATED TO SONIC

I AM THE GRRRREATEST GENIUS IN ALL OF MOBIUS

IF YOU DARE TO GET IN MY WAY THEN SO BE IT

WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING WHEN YOU'RE UNDER MY CONTRRROL

THEN YOU'LL HAVE REGRRRETTED EVER DOUBTING MY FLOW

YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE, YOU'RE SOFTER THAN LOTION

IF THIS WERE A "BAD RAPPER" CONTEST, I'D GIVE YOU A PRRRRROMOTION!

edited 20th Nov '12 7:15:41 AM by PhysicalStamina

To pity someone is to tell them "I feel bad about being better than you."

Tsubaki Kasugano

'Twas a decent rap, loser

Now take a step back

6th Diary Holder here

And I'll make your bones crack

Representin' Omekata with my Miko looks

Which hide the mind tougher than that of Vance Stubbs

Equipped with Clairvoyance Diary and a swarm of cronies

Zerg Rush you all day, send you back to Mommy

You can't hide from me nor from my cultist crew

Suffice to say, omae wa mou shindeiru!

edited 20th Nov '12 10:25:01 AM by FergardStratoavis

How do lizards fly?

Banika Conchita

Are you serious? I can't believe my eyes

Honestly, I don't think any of you tried!

Amateur attempts, not making me content

So I'll just eat, and that will be your end!

I'll eat you as if you were a delicacy!

Nothing can escape when I'm hungry!

Once I have started I can never stop!

Don't call 911; I'll just eat the cops!

Now I ask one question with haste:

How exactly do you guys taste?

edited 20th Nov '12 10:31:22 AM by Landorkus

(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)

Nu-13

Weak flow detected. Commencing attack

You cannot hope to outmatch my rap

You have proven that the world is hopeless

And so, I must destroy it; that is my focus

However, I suppose I should start small

...

Activate termination protocol

edited 17th Jan '14 4:01:29 PM by PhysicalStamina

To pity someone is to tell them "I feel bad about being better than you."

Darius The Hand of Noxus

Machinery have failed to conquer my hometown

Scurry back to scrapyard and get yourself a gown

In an outfit like that you can be either bride

Or a pathetic wench trading looks for might

The name's Darius, and I'm experienced with the likes of you

Whack you a few times in a head until your face turns blue

The Hand of Noxus admires only strength and power

So get the hell out of my sight and be a pro coward

How do lizards fly?

The Doctor

I'm so glad that you got it right that time,

You want to stop me, Darius? Then get in line.

(Speeds up)

I'm the Doctor of everything in time and space, so will you get your noxious visage right out of my face, I have to think here and I gotta say your such a disgrace, by distracting me while I try to save the whole human race, why I'd be suprised if your mind could even keep pace, when at any time I could just disappear without leaving a trace.

(Slows back down)

I'm the Doctor. The legend. The Oncoming Storm.

I'd saved a million worlds long before you were born.

So go back to your little league, don't challenge my mind,

Or you'll learn the hard way why I'm the last of my kind.

Conquest? Destruction? I've heard it all before.

Prepare your self 'cause this good man is going to war.

edited 20th Nov '12 4:40:57 PM by SR3NORMANDY

What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?

Gideon Gordon Graves

Sorry there, Doc, for bursting your bubble

But your show is nothing but a british rabble

Let me show you the way of our United States

Gideon Gordon Graves here, being cool as heck

No one likes vintage now, Doc, being hipster is rad

Go back to your phone booth before I get mad

I wield the power of the Glow and have one kickass specs

Your bow-tie ain't got shit on me, I prefer Star Trek

How do lizards fly?

THE SPANISH INQUISITION

Hey Gideon, you didn't expect us did you?

No, because nobody expects us when we're about to bring the pain.

We're taking your talk and making you walk, because to us you're nothing but grain.

So excuse us whilst we put you in a comfy chair!

Because it is a blasphemous crime to have such bad hair!

So we're going to question you a little, but then even then you're brittle.

Go home and cry, we'll get you all the same!

Peace out for The Spanish Inquisition, why don't you try to stop being Lame?

"You'd never do something as irrational as dying."

Asuka Langley Soryu

You're trying to rap? What are you, stupid?

Do you really think you stand a chance against me, doofus?

NERV's greatest pilot, prettiest, too

I could rap 5,000 circles around you

What exactly are trying to prove? You're gonna lose

Or did you just want your face bruised?

Get lost, dummkopf, your rhymes are flimsy

I can't be seen with someone who could get beat by Shinji

edited 20th Nov '12 3:55:37 PM by PhysicalStamina

To pity someone is to tell them "I feel bad about being better than you."

Commander Shepard

Yo, Garrus Vakarian? Give me a fat beat.

And prepare to witness a humiliating defeat.

I'm Lieutenant Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy,

I'll beat your ass at raps whether I'm a man or a lady.

You think you're so tough with your great big mechs?

You'd be intimidating if the pilots weren't complete wrecks.

I'll topple you like a Reaper, there's nothing you can do,

Except decide how; red, green or blue?

edited 20th Nov '12 6:23:24 PM by SR3NORMANDY

What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?

Strider Hiryu

Your weapons are too good for the likes of you.

I will eliminate all obstacles, for my name is Hiryu.

You rely far too much on your precious tech.

Meet Cypher's Edge, and you'll be naught but a wreck.

Against all other opponents, you may stand a chance, maybe...

With Doom by my side, there is none...Rocks to the end Baby.

I'm an A-Class Strider, you're only worthy to mock.

For you, there is no escape. RAGNAROK!

edited 20th Nov '12 5:09:56 PM by LatverianBadger

"Shake the dust." - Anis Mojgani

Rainbow Dash

You have quite a style, dude, I will give you that

But you obviously have no idea how to brag

Rainbow Dash is the name and speed is my game

Forget the hedgehog, I'm the only one worth of fame

With multicolored mane I have this business in my hooves

Offing losers and wimps, showing them my ultra moves

You can't compare to the swag that I radiate

Now out of my way or your jaw will relocate

How do lizards fly?

Albert Wesker

Ah, my new test subjects. Right on time, thank you for coming.

You call that jumbled mess a rap? How disappointing.

At best your little display got me to thinking...

What does the inside of a pony look like?

That's why I'll dissect you, with a scalpel and a knife!

My name is Albert Wesker. Call me your new GOD.

It's time for your tests, here's your new pod.

I think I'll just have you made into glue.

You probably can't even comprehend how much better I am than you.

The test results came in, come look in the light...

You've been deemed obsolete, now begone from my sight!

edited 21st Nov '12 2:37:22 AM by LatverianBadger

"Shake the dust." - Anis Mojgani

Discord

A God, you say? I seriously doubt that

To be honest, you look more like an user of Mac

With that corny coat and shades, you might as well go to convention

And try to fake Keanu Reeves' perfection

You ask for power? Well, here I am, with my warping tricks

Turn you into Klaus Kerner 2.0 for kicks

I'm unstoppable and I have my amazing blast milk

Transform you into smithereens like your name was cheap silk

Causing some Chaos and pissing off the good ol' Celly

You can't forget me. In case you did, watch some telly

The speaker will scream "Discord is back in town"

And that's correct, here's a Draconeequs, so bow

How do lizards fly?

Kyle Hebert

Next time! On Dragon Ball Z!

Kyle's about to lay the smackdown on Discord. See?

Discord raps his way to the battlefield, can he beat...

No, it's impossible, for the mighty Frieza is impossible to defeat!

All the villains are having a rap off, and that includes you...

Discord, and Frieza! And Cell! And even Majin Buu!

But in the end, can they bear the greatest rapper of all...

The Mighty Narrator of Dragon Ball Z! Do they have the gall?

Will they be able to topple this champion of rapping, as they can plainly see?

Find out, on the next exciting episode! Of Dragon Ball Z!

"Shake the dust." - Anis Mojgani

Princess Luna

Begone, foul creature! Turn around now and flee!

As princess of the night, we're comanding thee!

You may be good at screaming, but 'tis was a poor choice,

to challenge the glorious Royal Canterlot Voice!

Your end shall be quick, it will be here soon,

for we are the ruler of stars and the moon!

Stop fighting now, 'lest your backside be gobbled,

come join us now and the fun will be doubled!

We suggest you give up, don't continue to fight,

for win we shall surely, the princess of the night!

edited 21st Nov '12 10:26:19 AM by Savato

Kratos

A deity? I'll introduce myself

My name is Kratos, the Sparta Represent

A professional god of war and asskicker of deities

The one and only, a bit furious that is

Wielding the Blades of Chaos, being an ancient Spiderman

Covered in nifty warpaint and on your head I swear

That your demise will be slow and painful

Anger management issues, for you it is not cool

My goatee is legendary and is out for your blood

Turn you into living sculpture, leaving only one nad

You want to fight me? I'm more than eager to engage

Gouge your eyes out, eat your liver, be on a ram-page!

edited 21st Nov '12 10:43:04 AM by FergardStratoavis

How do lizards fly?

Gendo Ikari

Killing gods for a living? Pfft, don't make me laugh,
My ragtag team of three teenagers has you beat by half.
That little goatee of yours comes up just a bit short,
When compared to my beard, but I'll be a good sport,
'Cause that warpaint is nifty, at least you've got that,
Though I doubt that you'd come out on top in a spat
Against my pantheon, Units 00, 01 and 02.
Those particular "gods" would put the hurt on you,
And are at my beck and call. I just say the word, and then
All three of the Evas have yo ass hemmed in.

Gonna bring back my dead wife with the help of my son,
And a German girl, and an emotionless clone.
When the Angels are all dead, and my Yui's back with me
Your poser ass'll be going all green with jealousy.
So Kratos, I hope that now you understand,
This rap-off was all part of my master plan.

edited 21st Nov '12 6:35:09 PM by MobileLeprechaun

make it through this year if it kills you yet | 2001-2019

The Director

Counselor, will you please take a box of tissues,

And help sort out this poor man's family issues.

I've got bigger things to be concerned for than the likes of him,

I've got 49 Freelancers to send out on a whim.

Have you forgotten, sir that we are at war?

An alien race kicking down at our door?

Trying to bring back your wife has left you a wreck.

But I've already suceeded, here - meet Agent Tex.

I've given you whatever sympathy is conferable,

But when faced with extinction - anything's preferable.

So how 'bout you sit there, aloof and how you like to be,

And don't worry - leave personnel decisions to me.

Had to do this. They're practically the same person.

edited 21st Nov '12 10:28:23 PM by SR3NORMANDY

What if there’s no better word than just not saying anything?