"Classic Thieves and Mynah Birds"note , with the English title "Can't Beat the Classics". Released by Geneon on For Larva or Money.
Inspector Zenigata arrives at FBI Headquarters to astounding news: Lupin III has turned himself in, along with steadfast gang members Jigen and Goemon. While the FBI is pleased to have the master thief in custody, Pops is highly suspicious and goes through the Bureau's records, find out another famous criminal is also being held there: the infamous Clyde Barrow. Zenigata goes to the Bureau Chief with his discovery, demanding a transfer for Clyde. The chief humors him, but as they collect the old criminal, Zenigata passes by Lupin's cell and finds it empty. As the chief panics and orders a search, Zenigata searches the cell, sure that Lupin's still hidden inside thanks to one of his tricks. Sure enough, a through search reveals the master thief in a hidden panel in the floor. Zenigata returns to the chief with the news, anxious to expedite the transfer of Clyde away from Lupin's grasp. Meanwhile, the chief goes to inspect Lupin's cell to verify Zenigata's claim, only to find Pops himself bound and gagged in the cell. Sure enough, the disguised Lupin has successfully departed along side police officers Jigen and Goemon, and with his new prize of Clyde Barrow.
Clyde's no fool and quickly figures out Lupin wants him for a reason. Of course, Lupin needs the old man's help in his latest scheme. The gang shows him the National Super Bank; its headquarters are under construction, and so all of the bank's $600 million funds are in a safe in a specially constructed trailer until the project is complete. Meanwhile, an older lady sits in the diner across the street from the bank. Watching her in the reflection of compact's mirror is none other than Fujiko...
As they plan the heist in Lupin's hideout, Lupin reveals a further complication: only the bank president knows the safe's combination, and the only person he's told is his pet mynah bird. And since Clyde used to run a pet store and is good with birds, Lupin's gang needs his help to coerce the mynah bird into revealing the combination. Before Clyde can agree, a loud shouting sounds outside the apartment, and in strides the old woman for before, none other than Bonnie Parker herself. She claims that she and Clyde died in the legendary shoot-out, but were reincarnated in their current form.
Now part of the team, Bonnie and Clyde follow Lupin's car to the heist in a freight truck. Dismissing the two as a couple of nuts, Lupin tells Jigen and Goemon that they will not be splitting with the two old crooks and taking the entire heist for themselves, in spite of Goemon's suspicion about Bonnie. Naturally, Bonnie and Clyde are also planning to double-cross Lupin's gang with a plan of Bonnie's own. At the site, after the last patrol car drives by, Bonnie offers to keep watch while the rest of the gang puts their plan into motion. Goemon cuts a hole in the side of the trailer, and the gang subdues the guards inside before locating both the safe and the mynah bird. Meanwhile, Bonnie takes the opportunity to attach the tires hidden in the back of the truck to the actual bank.
When Clyde opens the cage to talk to the bird, it escapes, causing the gang to run out of the trailer just before Bonnie drives off with it, only pausing long enough to collect Clyde and the mynah bird that happened to light on the truck. Furious at being double-crossed, Lupin and his gang give chase in their car, but they are interrupted by Zenigata and the policeman assigned to drive him. Thanks to some poor directions from the Inspector, he ends up causing a wreck, allowing both sets of crooks to get away. Bonnie takes the initiative to drop a box of nails on the road, destroying Lupin's tires.
While both Lupin's gang and Zenigata are delayed, Bonnie and Clyde pull off the road and into an old junk yard, where they repair the bank trailer and give it a new paint job as Lupin and Zenigata eventually drive past.. Alas, it starts to rain as they set off again, and Lupin and his gang eventually figure out that the toy shipping truck that has passed them by is actually Bonnie and Clyde when they see the wet paint start to wash away. Zenigata is also about to close in when the policeman driving his car suddenly stops. It turns out they have reached state lines, and he no longer has jurisdiction here. Zenigata will have to find help from the authorities in the new state; he furiously gets out of the car and starts into Kansas, on foot and in the rain. The next morning, Zenigata hijacks a newlyweds' car so he can continue the pursuit.
Bonnie and Clyde's truck has reached the end of the road, in the meantime. Stuck in a sand dune, the two have opted to carry the safe and mynah bird themselves across the desert. Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon find their truck and decide to follow the tracks, and Zenigata's disgruntled couple drops him off when he spots the criminal vehicles soon after. The old thieves have gotten tired, and they decide to go ahead and open the safe to inspire them on. Clyde gently coerces the combination out of the mynah bird just in time for Lupin and his gang to hear the code. Lupin and Jigen then try to carry off the heavy safe themselves.
Unknown to everyone, the area they entered is actually on the grounds of a nuclear missile testing site, and a launch, too late to stop even after the intruders are spotted, is headed straight for their coordinates! Lupin and Jigen drop the safe and dive for cover while Goemon takes the opportunity to slice the missile in half. One half lands far enough away to explode harmlessly, the other half is a dud, but with its momentum accidentally snags Zenigata and takes him for a ride far away.
The safe is solid enough that even the explosion couldn't put a dent in it, which Lupin admires as Bonnie and Clyde catch up. Gloating, Lupin decides its time to open the safe, activates the code, and throws the doors open. However, the safe is completely empty, except for a note from none other than Bonnie Parker. The Bonnie on scene tries to sneak away, but Goemon slashes apart her disguise to reveal Fujiko. It turns out the real Bonnie Parker, watching from the diner, figured out what Lupin was up to, and took the money herself before they could enact their plan.
This episode features examples of:
- Absurdly Sharp Blade: Zantetsuken can cut through the side of the trailer, and a friggin' nuclear missile, but apparently not the safe itself. Though, to be fair, the nuclear missile couldn't get through the safe either.
- Artistic License – Geography:
- When they cross the border of Washington, D.C, the cops are out of jurisdiction Zenigata must get assistance from the authorities in the new state of... Kansas? Which is definitely not Virginia or Maryland, one of the two states actually bordering D.C.
- Also, there were no deserts and nuclear testing sites in Kansas at last check.
- Bilingual Bonus: The mynah bird says, when coerced by Clyde, "Gokurosan!" That can be read as "Go-ku-ro-san," or 5-9-6-3, but "Gokurosan" also means "Good job!" or "Thanks for the hard work!"
- Bound and Gagged: Lupin does this to Zenigata so he can borrow his clothes to get out of prison.
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: Unusually, Lupin plans to run off with the loot after he gets Clyde's help without giving him a fair share. Then, Bonnie gets involved and of course Fujiko's not far behind...
- Engrish: Clyde Barrow's name is written in his file as "Craid Balour."
- Implausible Fencing Powers: Is he going to... yup, Goemon's just going to go cut that nuclear missile in half. And then cut Fujiko's disguise in half without hurting Fujiko.
- Latex Perfection: Lupin disguises himself as Zenigata to get Clyde out of prison. And later, Fujiko for Bonnie, though that required a bit more padding.
- Not in Front of the Parrot!: Played with; the bank president taught the mynah bird the combination on purpose just in case he kicked the bucket. However, you still have to get hold of the mynah bird and persuade it to reveal its secret, which is why Lupin picked up Clyde, who is experienced with birds.
- Outlaw Couple: None other than the original, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow. Or at least, two people who claim to be them reincarnated.
- Reincarnation Romance: Bonnie and Clyde claim this, but then subverted when its revealed that the Bonnie throughout the episode was a disguised Fujiko. The real Bonnie was more than content to run off with all the money.
- "Shaggy Dog" Story: In a show full of 'em, this episode is probably one of the biggest ones. All that effort, and nearly getting killed by a nuke, only for the real Bonnie Parker to outwit everyone.
- Shout-Out: As Zenigata rides away on half of a nuclear missile, "Lupin, stop this crazy thiiing!"
