Title: The Sniper
Directed by: Lee Bernhardi
Written by: Chris Hayward, Danny Arnold, and Tom Reeder
Air Date: January 22, 1976
Previous: Happy New Year
Next: Fear of Flying
Guest Starring: James Gregory, Charlotte Rae, Sully Boyar, Jay Robinson
"The Sniper" is the 16th episode of the second season of Barney Miller.
A Mr. Sobel comes into the 12th complaining about his wife. It seems that Mrs. Sobel (Charlotte Rae, three years before The Facts of Life) has taken one-half of their life savings of $7000 ($32K in 2020 money) to give to some huckster. The huckster, it turns out, is some sort of New Age scam artist who promises that for the low, low price of $3500, anyone who's interested can travel on the astral plane to Saturn, leaving their bodies behind in The Big Rotten Apple that is 1976 New York.
But Mr. Sobel has just barely managed to tell his story when a much more serious problem arises. There's a sniper taking shots at the precinct! An unknown suspect with a high-powered rifle fired a shot at Wojo, in fact. Wojo, who served as a Marine in Vietnam, is pretty rattled by this, and he's enraged when Inspector Luger in his typical cluelessness more-or-less calls Wojo a coward for not apprehending the suspect.
Tropes:
- Con Man: Although there's some ambiguity about whether or not Hackler the cult leader (Jay Robinson) is sincere, he certainly seems to be a con artist: the requirement to pony up $3500 to go to Saturn certainly smells like a con. After it turns out that Mrs. Sobel hasn't forked over the money yet Barney is forced to let Hackler go, but Barney warns that they'll be keeping a very close eye on him.
- Crushing Handshake: Inverted. Hackler's hand flops like a dead fish when Barney shakes it. Barney is visibly put off.
- Curse Cut Short: Luger, rambling about how Kleiner was left a vegetable by three strokes.Luger: "...laid there like a carrot, sweet redheaded son of a—Brown, happy house up there in New Hampshire..."
- The Dandy: Another instance of the Running Gag about Harris's persnickety taste in clothes. Harris isn't just going to get a bulletproof vest as protection against the sniper, he's going to get a four-button, houndstooth bulletproof vest.
- A Good Way to Die: Luger is rattled at first when the sniper shoots out the windshield on his car, but later he gets philosophical and thinks getting shot by a sniper is "not a bad way to go." Then he goes on the umpteenth maudlin story about his old cronies Brownie, Foster, and Kleiner: it sees that Foster died of pneumonia, "sucking for air", while Kleiner had three strokes and "laid there like a carrot" before he finally croaked, and Brown is still alive but being fed tapioca in a nursing home.
- Nails on a Blackboard: In the opener, Yemana is simply trying to write "LT. YEMANA" on the duty roster blackboard by the door, but he produces such a horrible squeaking noise with his chalk that everyone else in the squad room cringes until Harris grabs the chalk from him and does it himself.
- No Sense of Personal Space: As Mr. Sobel tells his story to Fish, he keeps edging his chair closer and closer to Fish, leaving Fish, who Does Not Like To Be Touched, more and more uncomfortable as Sobel invades his space.
- Take That!: Fish is intrigued enough by Hackler to asks if he really thinks that he can go to Saturn, and if Saturn is really heaven. Hackler answers in the affirmative.Fish: If Saturn is heaven, then hell is...
Hackler: Philadelphia.
