"People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case. I rarely joke unless I'm in front of a camera. It's not what I am in real life. It's what I do for a living."
"People think because I can make them laugh on the stage, I'll be able to make them laugh in person. That isn't the case at all. I am essentially a rather quiet, dull person who just happens to be a performer."
"As much as I would like to walk out there and 'be myself,' the fact is that the 'self' that I am - when I am just 'being myself'- would be utterly boring and unwatchable on a stage."
"I was once walking in an airport and a woman came up to me and said, 'Be zany!'. That'd be like walking up to Baryshikov and going, 'Plie! Just do a plie! Do it! Do a releve right now! Lift my wife!'"
"'What is Eric Andre like in real life?' Not as...exciting. Depressive and anxious."