Peter: Hey something's not right
with Drive! Hartman! I have a weird feeling about him.
with Drive! Hartman! I have a weird feeling about him.Dr. Hartman: What are you talking about, Peter? I'm just here to do my job as a doctor.
Peter: No, I can sense something fishy going on. I won't be fooled by you.
Dr. Hartman: Peter, you're being ridiculous. I'm the same Drive. Hartman! you've always known.
Peter: Not anymore, buddy! Time to reveal the truth! Peter proceeds to rip off Drive Hartman's face.
Dr. Hartman: What the fuck, Peter?! Have you lost your mind?!
Peter: I knew it, you're not Drive Hartman, you're Carter in disguise!
Carter: Ha! You figured it out, you dumbass! Carter Pewterschmidt at your service!
Peter: What the fuck, Carter? Why are you pretending to be Drive Hartman?
Carter: I wanted to see if I could fool you idiots. Turns out it wasn't that hard.
Peter: You fucking bastard! You're always up to something!
Dr. Hartman:note I demand an explanation, Carter! This is a serious violation of medical ethics!
—The AI attempts to make a Latex Perfection skit making fun of two characters having the same voice and ends up with silly pronunciations and Mind Screw.
Cleveland: All right, everybody, gather 'round. I'm gonna list the top 50 bacterial infections!
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)note
Cleveland: Number 1: Streptococcus pneumoniae.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 2: Escherichia coli.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 3: Staphylococcus aureus.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 4: Salmonella.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 5: Clostridium difficile.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 6: Campylobacter jejuni.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 7: Neisseria meningitidis.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 8: Helicobacter pylori.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 9: Haemophilus influenzae.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 10: Vibrio cholerae.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 11: Mycobacterium tuberculosis.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 12: Listeria monocytogenes.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 13: Yersinia pestis.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 14: Bordetella pertussis.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
Cleveland: Number 15: Treponema pallidum.
Brian: (unholy eldritch noises)
—The "unwatchable" clip that went viral in early 2024. (Volume warning)
)Peter: So everyone we have something to celebrate Joe and Quagmire make sure your houses are finally in the game!
Joe and Quagmire make sure your houses are finally in the game!Chris: WOW CONGRATLATION UYS!!!
Mort: That's amazing! Bravo to you both!
Quagmire: Yeah it only took us... check-us watch... about see months and countless hours of work!
Peter: That's really great! Accidentally deletes Joe and Quagmire's houses from the asset list oh uh oops.
Joe: What, what did you?
Quagmire: That's it! Now we all have to start all over again groans.
Chris: WHOOPS, PETER! THAT WAS A BOO-BOO. SORRY, OE AND WAGMIRE.
Mort: That's unfortunate, Peter.
Peter: I am so sorry, guys! Let me make it up to you. Calls the tech support line and asks for help.
Joe: Yikes, Pete! Don't worry about it, we'll just—
— Peter accidentally makes his friends homeless whilst Leaning on the Fourth Wall.
N***r, n***r, n***r, n***r, n***r... (repeats 100 times)
— Carter being his old, white, racist self. (Content warning: racial slurs)
)TOY STORY GOOD MOV-EH. BUZZ LIGHTYEAR, HE FLY LIKE IRD. WOODY, COWBOY MAN, WOOF WOOF LIKE DAW. THEY FIGHT DRAGON, BIG MONSTER. GREEN MAN, HE ANGRY, 'ULK SMASH. LIL' BOY, ANDY, HIM PLAY TOYS. MR. POTAY EAT POTAY CHIPS. TOY GO TO INFINITY AND BEYOND, YABBA DABBA DOH. TOY STORY FUN, ME LIKE TOYS. ME ANDY NOW, ME POTAY HEAD.
—Chris tries to retell the plot of Toy Story, but due to a stroke, he talks like a caveman and gets basic information incorrect.
Peter: Chris, you're not watching that shit. It's a fucking dumb show.
Chris: WAAAAAAA! SPONGEBOB FUN!
Peter: No, Chris! It's stupid and it rots your brain.
Chris: WAAAAAAA! NO SPONGEBOB? SAD!
Peter: Listen, Chris, you need to watch something educational. Not that garbage.
Chris: WAAAAAAA! I WANT SPONGEBOB!
Peter: Fine, you little cry baby! I'll put on SpongBoob for you. But only for a few minutes.
Chris: WAAAAAAA! SYANTS.
Peter: Just remember, Chris, you're gonna turn into a fucking idiot if you watch too much of this shit.
Chris: WAAAAAAA! SPONGEBOB FUUUUUUN!
— Chris (who is speaking like a small child) has a tantrum because Peter won't let him watch SpongeBob SquarePants. (Original clip)
)Joyce: What the fuck is this? Is he high or something?
Stewie: Oh, for fuck's sake! Can't we get a real comedian?
Joe: I don't know what the hell he's saying, but at least he's not telling shitty jokes.
Chip: Scooby dolby doo? Seriously? This is worse than that time I got stuck in Peter's ass.
Diane: I think he's trying to be avant-garde. It's definitely a unique approach.
Cleveland: I don't know about you guys, but I'm actually finding this strangely amusing.
Carter: Scooby dolby doo? Is that all he can say? This is a fucking disgrace!
Vinny: I don't get it, but hey, at least he's not bombing like last week's act.
Jesus: Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall understand the true meaning of Scooby dolby doo.
— Brian does a comedy act but he can only say "Scooby dooby doo!". (Original clip)
)Peter: Hey, Chip! We need to talk.
Peter: No, Chip. You've been playing that game non-stop for days! It's not healthy.
Chip: No! Me want Baby Fighter Twoo!
Peter: Chip, you're acting like a baby! You need to quit this game addiction.
Chip: Me no baby! Me want Baby Fighter Twoo now!
Peter: Goddammit, Chip! You're throwing a tantrum like a spoiled brat!
Peter: I can't believe I'm dealing with this shit. Fine, keep playing your damn game!
Stewie: Babby noises.
— Chip (who is speaking like a small child) has a tantrum because Peter tries to get him to come off Baby Fighter 2, which Chip is addicted to. (Original clip)
)