Not every item is created equal, and getting one of these might mean it'd be faster to reset than to try to use them. For items that are too good for their own good, see here.
Melee Items
- In a game filled with gimmicky and fun weapons, a lot of the mundane melees such as Spork, Switchblade, Air, and others of the like, are comparatively underwhelming and really emphasize the "boring" in "Boring, but Practical", only doing decent damage and nothing else, which makes them dull choices compared to the more exotic variety of melees.
- The Fire Axe. It has a VERY slow wind-up, close-ranged hitbox, and gives a severe slowdown debuff for about a second if you miss, even if you switch to a different weapon before the attack comes out. It's a One-Hit Kill most of the time and slows down anyone who isn't instantly killed by it, but it's easy to miss with and punishes the user if they do, usually requiring your ranged and misc weapon to help carry it's weight. It received a shot in the heart when it was given a buff by increasing the walkspeed whenever Ultra Instinct is used with it, but it's an item combo often only seen in KIT, and even there it's hardly a consistent option.
- Lamp is one of the few melee weapons will a killstreak upgrade that's terrible both before and after you upgrade it. Lamp does pitiful damage and is swung pretty slow, making killing with it alone a difficult task. It only takes 3 kills to upgrade it, compared to most other weapons with killstreak upgrades requiring 4-10 kills. Its upgraded form in Couch sports a larger hitbox and more damage, but is still lethargically slow to swing. Compare this to Chair/Table, which also requires only 3 kills to upgrade, but is swung faster and deals significantly more damage in both forms, at the cost of your weapon having a longer cooldown. Chair/Table also have the key benefit of ragdolling players that it hits to allow for combos with your other weapons, while Lamp/Couch have no form of knockback, ragdolling, or any benefit besides modest direct damage, leaving it ultimately outclassed and mediocre for a weapon you have to invest time into to get the most out of. The only thing making it at all desired is it being one of the few weapons that can activate Bird Up, but Torch can take its role all the same.
- The Shine and Franklin BadgeNote. Both reflect the impact of certain projectiles and misc weapons back at whoever fired them, but they both also suffer immensely from being situationally useful at best, due to the incredibly strict timing of the former and the limited number of electric-themed weapons affected by the latter.
- Pro Golf is a high-risk melee that, if it lands, will send the enemy careening, hopefully to the nearest pit. The problem is actually landing it, as its windup is long and leaves you as a sitting duck if you miss. Its ability to ragdoll enemies can also be done with a myriad of less-risky options, leaving it mostly as a means of humiliating your opponent.
- The Man on a Leash, like its name suggests, lets you weaponize the titular "man" (who is a cat) and swing him around on a leash to hit your opponents. As this is one of the only melees with physical properties, this proves to be both unreliable and very tricky, often leaving you to wildly swing it around and hoping it somehow clips the enemy, leaving you at the mercy of the physics engine.
Ranged Items
- The Puffer Gun has an obnoxiously low fire rate, limited range due to its awkward arc, and only deals 25 damage with a weak poison debuff that doesn't last long enough to threaten anyone. The Flying Guillotine is in a similar boat, but does enough damage to insure its target will most likely die from bleeding shortly after if they don't heal.
- Grasshoar sounds strong on paper: a throwable that explodes into fragments, which then explode and split into further smaller fragments that also explode. The problem is that it's very unwieldly to throw, and the bulk of the damage is at the final bit, where most enemies would be long gone since. It has some niche use as a defensive tool or to hold chokepoints and crowded areas, due to how easy it blends in, but is otherwise an underwhelming ranged option.
- Pants lets you throw out painfully slow pants projectiles which, while they do respectable damage, are insanely easy to dodge at any distance that isn't just outside melee. As they're also solid physical objects, they're greatly affected by terrain, making them even more cumbersome to hit anyone with. About its best use is peppering unaware groups and getting collaterals, which is something a lot of other items can take advantage of better than Pants.
- Throwing Darts is essentially "distressed red ball but worse", being a fairly spammable small projectile that does 8 damage per hit but isn't nearly as spammable as the former red ball and doesn't leave lingering projectiles, only being a simple measly dart that serves to slightly weaken anyone so you can get in with your other items.
- Brimstone, unlike in its home game, has a pitifully small range and mediocre damage, with its only upside of stunlocking opponents for its duration not covering for the rest of it. It's telling that, despite it ostensibly being a ranged weapon, it actually has a smaller hitbox than a significant amount of them.
- Lovestruck, much like Brimstone, is a ranged weapon with a miniscule and short hitbox, with its three-hit chain barely doing much damage. About its only positive is the "Love Blast" ability which acts like Chinalake's explosive without an arcing projectile, but that's on a far-longer cooldown that barely covers for the weapon's overall poor showing.
- Stomp looks impressive at first glance; taken from Port A Boi's boss moveset, you can stomp in front of you and a long line of pillars rise up, ragdolling and doing 35 damage with a low cooldown to boot! But then you use it and notice almost immediately how unwieldly it is and the hitbox being deceivingly awful, making landing it surprisingly difficult. That and its windup being long, along with making you an easy target, makes for a sorely underpowered ranged option.
Misc Items
- The Scroll holds a number of Game-Breaker spells you can potentially pull from it... along with plenty of Junk Rare spells. Armis, Hoppa, Inferi, Velo and Loggus are generally reviled for being too useless or situational to make up for not getting any of the more powerful spells Scroll can give, such as Gelidus, Ignis, Fimbulvetr, Manus Dei or Mori. So much so that a rather cheap gamepass exists to boost the odds of getting the more useful spells from Scroll, but not by much.
- The Popeyes Biscuit is the worst potential healing item you can get, only healing you twice for a measly 5 HP each time, and any further use instead kills you instantly.
- Formerly a ranged weapon, Yo Mama has incredibly short range, is highly telegraphed, and even having it equipped blares loud music to let everyone know what you're up to. While it has its uses, dealing decent damage and stunning anyone in its range, the similarly designed OBJECTION! strictly outclasses it by having no music when equipped, coming out instantly, and launching foes far away while dealing around the same amount of damage.
- Polish Meal is one of the rare reusable healing items, healing for 50% of your health but also strapping you with a permanent poison debuff that stacks with each use. While it can be handy in a pinch, one use puts you on a death timer that only speeds up as you consume it more. After a certain point, you can no longer out-heal the poison stacks and end up dying a slow, painful death.
- Dataminer alters your stats by increasing and decreasing two at random. The potential for good stats, such as jump height or speed, doesn't outweigh the reality that it can easily screw you over by reducing your walkspeed, defense and damage considerably. At its core, its a high-risk high-reward item with the risk being worse then the reward.
- The Witches Brew is a three-use heal that also has a chance at giving you an additional effect. While these include the very beneficial 25% defense or 20% attack power, they are outnumbered by the negatives that inflict self-bleed, poison, fire, or worst of all, shocking you and leaving you defenseless. Oftentimes, the negatives offset the rather pitiful heal of 17.5 hp you get in the first place.
Kits
- The Bron Jame kit has the player equipped with Dunk, Hoppa and Cloud in a Bottle. While all three tools are good for mobility, Dunk is not a good enough weapon to be your only weapon, even if the kit makes it deal double damage. While its damage scales based on height, positioning yourself with it is much harder than it sounds, and the cooldown makes it very difficult to actually get kills with. Since it's a Legendary Kit, it's all too satisfying to land, but ultimately Awesome, yet Impractical.
- Another incredibly rare but only situationally useful kit is Duke. The kit provides 250 max HP and 1.5x damage, but the combo of Legion Kata, Strong left Note and Stomp don't mesh well or combo into each other at all, making it a less desirable option even among lower rarity kits.
- For a less rare but also situationally useful kit, Drink Up! grants the player Juice That Makes Your Head Explode, The Soy and Chirumiru. While The Soy and Chirumiru can provide some healing, being restricted to the Juice That Makes Your Head Explode as your weapon is completely undesirable, since it's a coinflip whether you manage to successfully insta-kill someone with it (and good luck given it's small range) or drink and instantly die instead. There are other kits that have some RNG to them, but none of are likely to kill you compared to this.
- Three Winged Angel gives you nothing but three Masamunes. Under regular circumstances, this would mean you have effectively 300 HP and temporary protection against some One-Hit Kill items. The problem? This kit locks your max HP to 25, meaning you cap out at 75 max and get no mobility or damage boosts to compensate. Expect your health bars to be shredded through like a hot knife through butter.
- The Wall-Nut Bowling kit gives you nothing but a single Nut and only a 1.35x damage multiplier to compensate. Not bad on paper, but the damage increase isn't strong enough to justify choosing it over other kits of similar rarity that justify giving only one weapon with a huge buff as a trade off, such as "I Can't Stop...", or "Kamakazi".
Zombie Survival Mutations
- Shriekers are one of, if not the most underwhelming potential mutations. Their Maul attack is slower, but inflicts a layer of Curse onto targets. Potentially useful in groups, but the benefit it brings to the team is ultimately outclassed by the benefits every other mutation brings.
Murderer Weapons/Abilities
- Killer Fish from San Diego is the least helpful weapon you can roll as Murderer. The weapon is short ranged with not that impressive speed or damage, with its trade-off being the blinding effect it inflicts to allow for follow-ups. None of its pros matter in MU, as the weapon one shots anyways, leaving it as one of the more sub-par potential weapons.
- Hat of Discipline, while a strong weapon otherwise, is by far the most conspicuous of the murderer weapons, being a giant fuck-off hammer with a long wind-up before it lands, in a game mode where you need to be inconspicuous. It also sports a rather finnicky hitbox that makes sneak attacks all but impossible. All you can do is hope the sheriffs aren't in the same room as you when you use this.
Juggernaut Classes
- While meant to be a Jack of All Stats, Beta Figure proves to be a Master of None among the Juggernaut classes; it doesn't hit as hard as Mihawk, is slower and can't zone as well as Filibuster, and doesn't have the durability or threat of "Instant Death" Radius that Red Mist has. The three weapons it gives aren't bad, being weapons used by the Beta Devs, but the other Juggernauts get weapons that can do what these weapons do and better. The 1.4.0 update tried to remedy this by giving the class some buffs and a couple new tools to boot, but it's still far and away the least popular Juggernaut choice, with even the heavily nerfed Red Mist getting picked more often than it.
