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Funny / The Quiet Man

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  • At the beginning of the film, when Sean... uh, John Wayne arrives at the train station, he asks for directions to Innisfree. It really sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Watch it here.
  • On his way to Innisfree, Sean meets Father Lonergan and introduces himself.
    Father Lonergan: Ah, yes. I knew your people, Sean. Your grandfather, who died in Australia... in a penal colony. And your father, he was a good man too.
  • "You were saying Good Morning!, but it was Good Night you had on your mind!"
    • Though Sean, um John didn't find it very funny and for good reason.
  • The topper has to be when Og Flynn discovers the remains of the wedding night bed. His awestruck reaction as he blurts out "Impetuous! Homeric!" is classic. What makes it even funnier is that the bed wasn't destroyed due to any passionate love-making between Sean...John and Mary Kate; it was destroyed when he roughly hurled his wife onto it during an argument over her unclaimed dowry and stormed out of the room to sleep in his sleeping bag.
  • Essentially the entire community of Innisfree's reaction to the Danaher versus the Yank donnybrook. It gets to the point that entire counties are traveling by bus to see the fight.
    • The town elder (Francis Ford) is on his deathbed, driven there by the despair the whole community was feeling because Wayne was refusing to fight Danaher. The young priest isn't reading the last rites, he's reading from an ancient Irish epic about a heroic battle. And when the noise of the fight reaches his house, the old man perks up with a smile and literally jumps out of bed to go watch the donnybrook.
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  • The delighted, happy way Mary Kate ambles down hill having gotten her husband to claim her dowry and reclaim her honor. And how everyone else - John Wayne included - just stands there watching her leave so she could prepare the supper for the post-fight celebration.
  • Agreeing on the Marquis of Queensbury rules... just as Danaher puts a boot to John Wayne's face.
  • Og Flynn's horrified reaction when Danaher's lapdog Feeney tries to place a bet on Thornton. "GO AWAY YE TRAITOR YA!"
  • "Is that a public house?" "Yes, your Lordship." "Are they going in?" "Yes, your Lordship." (with a disappointed tone) "Is the fight over?" "No, your Lordship, that's the end of Round One." "Oh." Rule of Three at its funniest.
  • As the word gets around to everyone to Sean dragging Kate back, bartender Pat is happy about what a day this is and announces "there's only one thing to say: Gentlemen, the drinks are on the house!" One man spits his drink back into the glass, another slams his mug down and everyone in the bar just stares at Pat in absolute shocked silence.
    Pat: Well, they are!
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  • The restful bar visit after Round One, as Danaher and Wayne start to warm to each other ("You know, Yank, I'm taking quite a likings to ye." "I'm getting real fond of you, too.") ends with the two arguing over who's buying the drinks, with Danaher tossing his pint into Wayne's face. Wayne's reaction is epic: "Bar Towel!" After leaning over to the bartender to ask for the time, Wayne promptly slugs Danaher out the front door.
  • "Here's a good stick, to beat the lovely lady with." Once the issue of the dowry is settled, Sean... uh John hands the stick to Mary Kate who tosses it away.
    • Earlier during the "stretch of the legs" Mary Kate loses one of her shoes. The station manager picks it up and races up to give it back to her. Mary Kate - still getting dragged along by Se... uh, John - takes a moment to thank him for returning her shoe.
  • The Gaelic confession scene. The audience can't entirely understand what the confession is about until Mary Kate has to speak in English because there's no exact words for 'Sleeping bag'.
  • "Father Lonergan! Hurry! There's a big fight in the square!" Father Lonergan refuses to look up from his fly-fishing. "And there's a big fight in this fish!"
    • Lonergan doesn't care until he's told it's a fight between Danaher and Thorton. At which points he runs as fast as he could just so he can watch the fight.
    'Father Paul: I wanted to stop it...
    Lonergan: You do that, lad, it's your duty...
    Father Paul: It's just, it's Danaher and Sean Thornton!
    Lonergan: Who?
    Father Paul: Danaher...
    Lonergan: (joining in with last word) And Sean Thronton, well, why the devil didn't you tell me?!
    • The elder Lonergan jumps over a fence that the younger priest takes a moment to calmly open.
  • Lonergan being interrupted at the end of the story. "Good heavens, what's that woman up to now?"
    Lonergan: She'll be runnin' you down with that juggernaut! (the "juggernaut" in question being a bicycle)
  • Unrelated to the plot: John Wayne is absolutely incapable of picking up objects smaller than his fist without throwing them to the ground in disdain no more than 15 seconds later. He lights several cigarettes during the film, but actually inhales from few or none of them; instead, he immediately discards them in places burning objects shouldn't go, like dry brush. He pours himself a few drinks during the early scenes, but he tosses them away too (usually in a nearby fireplace, where the cigarettes should have gone).
    • He even picks up and throws his wife (on the bed, of course).
    • Also finding out where all the rocks for the scenic rock walls come from.

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