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The 1970s series

  • One word: "Password!"
  • The word "assume" from "My Strife in Court" brings back memories of one of Felix's finest and funniest moments as a self-appointed attorney. Questioning a lady who claimed he tried to sell her an extra ticket, he gets her to admit she "assumed" he was trying to get more money from her even though he hadn't asked for money. Cue Felix dramatically explaining why one should never assume.
  • "It's All Over Now, Baby Bird":
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    • Oscar feigns grief about Albert's death...and abruptly switches to trying to make a date with the Pigeon Sisters. One tells him that she always thought he was presenting a cold shell to the world and she's just now realized he was being honest.
    • Felix and Oscar are interrupted by a policeman undercover in drag as they attempt to bury Felix's pet parrot, Albert. When he asks what they're doing, a bit of a misunderstanding ensues.
  • "The Big Brothers": Mrs. Grainger, the mother of Felix's "little brother", tells him that she's fine with most of what Oscar did last time and that she can handle some adjustments, such as telling her son not to call his grandma a "sweet old broad." The boy sheepishly says that his mother straightened him out.
  • "Sleepwalker":
    • Felix comes home early from the opera, not feeling well, and tells Oscar and Nancy that they should just go on with their date; he'll be so quiet they won't notice he's there. Then he gets sidetracked by the champagne on the carpet. With deadpan exasperation, Oscar tells Felix he'll know he's there.
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    • Dr. Nancy Cunningham talks to Oscar about showing more patience with Felix for his own health, and kisses him afterwards. Oscar asks if the kiss was a bribe. Nancy answers fondly that it was just affection. One second later, she tells him the upcoming, more passionate kiss is a bribe.
    • Due to his suppressed frustration, Oscar begins hitting Felix over the head in his sleep. The sequence where Felix goes to increasing lengths to get proof and/or to protect himself is hysterical.
    • When Felix and Oscar finally figure out why Oscar's been sleepwalking and sleep-hitting Felix, Felix announces the solution in a rather odd way:
      Felix: The main thing is, you must never be nice to me.
  • "Murray the Fink":
    • Oscar's wordless disbelief at Felix's unexpectedly chipper reaction to being held in a cell builds slowly into him banging a mug on the bars and demanding to be released.
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    • The night court judge's reactions of weary exasperation when Oscar tries to throw suspicion on Murray and Felix opposes him (despite neither of them being lawyers).
  • "Fat Farm": Felix comes back to their room at the health camp with a container of popcorn, drawing his famished roommate's attention. Felix denies him any because he's being punished. Oscar, still with a gleeful, anticipatory look, tells Felix to give him some or he'll have to kill him.
  • "Big Mouth":
    • While Felix is yelling at him about driving Cosell out of the studio, Oscar asks him how to spell "irreconcilable." Felix tells him calmly and then remembers he's scolding his roommate.
    • Oscar sweet-talks Cosell into going back to the commercial by reminding him of all the kind, cheerful, and obedient Boy Scouts who idolize him. When Cosell agrees (after reproaching Oscar for his tactics), Oscar ebulliently declares that he always said Cosell was one of his favorite people. Charley, the scout currently spending the game with Cosell, cuts in to point out that Boy Scouts are honest too.
  • "The First Baby": Exasperated with Felix, who's been calling him incessantly from the movie theater, Oscar tells him that the sound he'll hear soon is construction-related, not Oscar hanging up. Felix falls for it for a few minutes, before yelling in the most outraged, indignant way into the dead line, "I know what you did!"
  • "I Gotta Be Me":
    • Oscar scaring himself with how he looks at breakfast. Twice.
    • Felix and Oscar doing role-reversal therapy.
  • "The Ides of April": While trying to do Oscar's taxes, Felix tells Oscar that he can't claim his bookie as a dependent. Oscar retorts that by the definitionnote , yes he can.
  • "The Insomniacs": Oscar has read his way through all of the fairy tales in the book. He wearily notes that "Mr. Friend" (Felix's teddy bear) is asleep and "Mr. Enemy" (Felix) is still awake.
  • "The Jury Story", Felix and Oscar get a glimpse of each other's room service meals: Felix orders sand dabs and a side of cottage cheese, and Oscar orders a rare steak with a baked potato and fried onions. Felix remarks how tasty Oscar's meal looks, but the look of horror on his face as Oscar drowns his steak in A-1 sauce and ketchup speaks volume.
    Oscar: This is a good steak! Mmm!
    Felix: Do you always talk with your mouth full?
    Oscar: Only when I'm eating. Where's the butter?
    Felix: It's on your sleeve.
    • From the same episode, Felix goes to bed early, forcing Oscar to do the same, but every time Oscar tries to fall asleep, one of Felix's quirks (nasal honking, clearing his ears) disturbs him.
    Oscar: It's 10:00... sand dabs, sinuses, ears, nerve medicine... I've never known anybody who hung his socks on a hanger! What kind of a person does that?!
    Felix: A neat person.
    Oscar: Yeah, maybe a weird person!
    Felix: (Insulted) I did not asked to be locked in this room with you.
    Oscar: Okay. Okay, that last crack wasn't called for, but you're not the easiest guy to share a room with.
    Felix: Aren't you going to apologize?
    Oscar: (Shrugs) Okay, I apologize.
    Felix: It's too late for that!
  • Felix confronts Lovelace, the building super intendent, and threatens a rent strike if he goes through with his plans to raise rent.
    Lovelace: You're a trouble-maker, Unger.
    Felix: And darned proud of it! This country was founded by trouble-makers!
  • "And Leave the Greyhound to Us", Felix and Oscar adopt a scrawny, pitiful-looking greyhound, and while Oscar wants it simply to race it, Felix absolutely falls in love with it and dotes on it like a mother would her child, from feeding and watering it, to showering it with affection, and even singing operetta to it.
  • "A Night to Dismember", a "Rashomon"-Style episode that recalls the night Oscar and Blanche divorced, in which Oscar ends up with a young female tennis player in the bedroom and Blanche ends up with a hunky quarterback in the kitchen, with Felix caught in the middle. The only two details that are exactly the same in Oscar and Blanche's respective stories are Felix arriving at the party with, "My sinuses are killing me, but I won't let that ruin your party," and his concern for the coats on the bed being wrinkled. Felix makes himself out to be the life of the party and the victim by claiming responsibility for unwittingly separating Oscar and Blanche in his own retelling (and neither of them are impressed).
  • "Two Men On A Hoarse" features this little master class in pantomime and comic timing: Oscar returns home after a throat surgery, which has left him temporarily mute, and looks grouchier than ever. Felix tells him that, while Oscar was away, he's thought about what may have caused Oscar to lose his voice in the first place. When Felix asks what it might have been, Oscar, while glaring daggers into Felix, immediately points at him in the angriest way possible.

The 2015 series

  • From the original play & film (and reused for the 2015 show): "I've told you 158 times I can't stand little notes on my pillow. "We're all out of cornflakes. F.U." Took me three hours to figure out F.U. was Felix Unger!"
  • One from the pilot of the 2015 show: Oscar's date, Casey, goes to his door to cancel, due to her sister visiting, and Oscar suggests bringing her to double with Felix:
    Casey: I can't do that to Emily, she gets so emotional and high strung—
    (Oscar, without looking back, opens the door the rest of the way, revealing Felix crying hysterically about his divorce. Casey's eyes widen.)
    Oscar: So, you'll bring Emily by?
    Casey: It's a date.
  • Oscar and Felix have to break into Ashley's place to obtain something Felix left behind after the divorce:
    Oscar: Alright, we'll go in the back and get in the elevator and then we'll— (sees Felix putting on a beanie and gloves)...do a series of ninja moves to get through the laser field, and then the jewels will be ours!
  • When Dani is promoted to producer of Oscar's radio show, she hires a middle-aged British woman named Margo as his replacement assistant, who proves to be absolutely terrible at her job. How terrible, you ask?
    Margo: Here's your coffee, sir. Two shots, one sugar, just like you like it.
    Oscar: Thanks, Margo. [sips from it] Hmm... this is mushroom soup.
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