Funny / Rebuilt

• Bella misinterpreting what "blood transfusion" means and attempting to feed Snape her blood. He's unhappy when he finds out.
• Bella's idea of "training" Harry. She throws water over him to wake him up, beats him with a stick to make him run, then chases him around the lake ten times.
  [afterward]
  Riddle: Don't look so grouchy.
  Harry: Grouchy?! How about I chase you ten times around the lake, let's see who's grouchy then.
• Harry snarking at Bella during their fight.
  Harry: The only technique I've got is clawing and biting, more like a kitten really.
  Bellatrix: Oh, alright then, lordling. Come and bite me.
  Harry: No thank you, you'd need at least three baths before I even contemplated that.
• Tom decides Harry will impersonate him. Lucius has to ensure Harry can pass for a lord. Hilarity Ensues.
  Lucius: I find myself charged with an impossible task - to put it mildly.
  Harry: You want me to help you?
  Lucius: No, you are the task. I have the dubious pleasure of molding you into a lord.
  • Lucius trying to teach Harry and Rosier to use cutlery properly. It takes three hours.
  After three hours of spoons, knives, forks and glasses, [Harry and Rosier] came to the conclusion that they had arrived in Hell and Lucius was a particularly nasty demon to torture them.
  [...] Harry would never admit it, but when Bellatrix came through the door she looked like an angel sent from heaven.
  Rosier: Fair lady! Take me away from here, I beg you!
  • Bella shows up to take them out for training.
  Harry: ...We shall obliterate you with our newfound knowledge of spoons!
  Bellatrix: If you say so, lordling.
  Rosier: Aye, fear the spoons!
  [Gilligan Cut]
  "Fear the spoons?" Harry moaned, probing his ribcage for broken bones.

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