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  • Bella misinterpreting what "blood transfusion" means and attempting to feed Snape her blood. He's unhappy when he finds out.
  • Bella's idea of "training" Harry. She throws water over him to wake him up, beats him with a stick to make him run, then chases him around the lake ten times.
    [afterward]
    Riddle: Don't look so grouchy.
    Harry: Grouchy?! How about I chase you ten times around the lake, let's see who's grouchy then.
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  • Harry snarking at Bella during their fight.
    Harry: The only technique I've got is clawing and biting, more like a kitten really.
    Bellatrix: Oh, alright then, lordling. Come and bite me.
  • Tom decides Harry will impersonate him. Lucius has to ensure Harry can pass for a lord. Hilarity Ensues.
    Lucius: I find myself charged with an impossible task - to put it mildly.
    Harry: You want me to help you?
    Lucius: No, you are the task. I have the dubious pleasure of molding you into a lord.
    • Lucius trying to teach Harry and Rosier to use cutlery properly. It takes three hours.
    Needless to say after three hours of spoons, knives, forks and glasses, [Harry and Rosier] came to the conclusion that they had arrived in Hell and Lucius was a particularly nasty demon to torture them.
    [...] Harry would never admit it, but when Bellatrix came through the door she looked like an angel sent from heaven.
    Rosier: Fair lady! Take me away from here, I beg you!
    • Bella shows up to take them out for training.
    Bellatrix: If you say so, lordling.
    Rosier: Aye, fear the spoons!
    "Fear the spoons?" Harry moaned, probing his ribcage for broken bones.

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