- Chiyo's training montage.
- Chiyo giving a man on a bike the 'geisha look' which sends him crashing into a cart.
- In the book, during Sayuri and Nobu's first meeting with the Minister (Whom Nobu strongly dislikes), the Minister becomes extremely drunk and faceplants into the snow outside the teahouse they're in:Nobu: I believe we've killed him. And if you ask me, he deserved it.Sayuri: Is this how you act toward your honored guests? You must take him out onto the street and walk him around a bit to wake him up. The cold will do him good.Nobu: He's lying in the snow. Isn't that cold enough?
- In the film, Mameha starts to give Sayuri The Talk using the funny and odd metaphor of eels and caves. Then, Sayuri stops her, says that she already knows because she "Lives with Hatsumomo!"
- In the film, Mother's comments towards a very nervous and heavily made up Pumpkin who is facing her first performance as a Maiko: "Stop crying! Your face will run!".
- Hatsumomo's epic breakdown. Made all the better by the words that completely send her over the edge.Mameha: Hatsumomo-san, please, as a favor to me...do try to calm down.
- Elderly Sayuri describing what happens whenever she's introduced to young women in 'splendid' dresses and jewelry: inevitably, they find out she was a geisha, and try not to look horrified, because "My goodness, I'm speaking with a prostitute..."
- Sayuri (narrating): At that point, the burden of conversation falls to whoever introduced us, because even after all these years, I never learned much English.Eventually, she's rescued by husband or boyfriend, a wealthy man a good ten years older than she is. [...] I often find myself wondering why she can't sense the similarities between us. She is a kept woman, you see, and in my day, so was I.
Funny / Memoirs of a Geisha