Funny / Ivanhoe

• Athelstane, who everyone thinks is dead, turns up alive and well at his own funeral. Hilarity Ensues. And then, after he tells his story, he tries to speak with Wilfred... only to find he's left. Then he turns to Rowena, and finds she's left. Finally Athelstane turns to King Richard, who has also left.
  Athelstane: Come, my friends — such of you as are left, follow me to the banquet-hall, lest any more of us disappear — [...] and should we tarry any longer who knows but the devil may fly off with the supper?
• While everyone still thinks Athelstane is dead, Wamba says that they'd better make sure there's a good feast at his funeral, or his ghost will come back to complain about it.
• In the 1997 version, during Rebecca's trial, Prince John brings up that Rebecca is accused of eating a dog: "That dog there?" as he points to the very alive and intact Fangs. When Beaumanoir confirms it, John quips "Seems perfectly alive and well to me," and sniggers along with his henchman.
• De Bracy butchers a Biblical story when he tells Fitzurse about his plan to kidnap and marry Rowena.
  De Bracy: [Prior Aymer] told how, long since in Palestine, a deadly feud arose between the tribe of Benjamin and the rest of the Israelitish nation; and how they cut to pieces well-nigh all the chivalry of that tribe; and how they swore by our blessed Lady, that they would not permit those who remained to marry in their lineage; and how they became grieved for their vow, and sent to consult his holiness the Pope how they might be absolved from it; and how, by the advice of the Holy Father, the youth of the tribe of Benjamin carried off from a superb tournament all the ladies who were there present, and thus won them wives without the consent either of their brides or their brides' families.
  Fitzurse: I have heard the story, though either the Prior or thou has made some singular alterations in date and circumstances.
• In the 1982 version, we have this exchange right after Cedric's party is brought to Torquilstone:
  Cedric: Dogs! Norman dogs!
  Athelstane (lazily): Barbarians! But surely they'll feed us?
• The prologue to the second edition: The backlash from contemporary readers over Ivanhoe marrying Rowena instead of Rebecca was SO widespread, intense, and extreme that Sir Walter Scott had to write a letter to his fanbase apologizing for not indulging their fantasy and explaining all the reasons a relationship between Rebecca and Ivanhoe would have been unrealistic. My, how little things have changed in 200 years.

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