Funny / If Wishes Were Ponies

Some of the funniest moments in the crossover fic If Wishes Were Ponies.

• Harry and the CMC's first crusading missions together. The first one involves him being flung into the air by a trebuchet. Others result in starting a forest fire, getting the town hall infested with bees, and getting covered in tree sap surprisingly often.
• Due to lacking context for why it's flying at him, Harry reacts to the owl bringing him his Hogwarts letter by running away from it and screaming. The owl is very annoyed and confused, along with Applejack and Granny Smith.
• Harry has to explain to the Mane 6 and CMC (multiple times) why it's important to wear clothes.
• Pinkie's chaos magic causes no end of surprise from Muggles and wizards alike.
• Rainbow Dash unapologetically loves the mine carts at Gringotts. Harry tips the goblin to make the return trip even faster just so his mother's best friend can have more fun.
  Griphook: For certain definitions of one, indeed, the carts have only one speed!

• Twilight has to be dragged out of every bookstore she sees.
  • Sunbrust is just as bad, if not worse — he has to be literally dragged out of the Hogwarts library by his fellow porfessors like a child.
• Whenever something Pinkie considers entertaining starts (like the argument with the Goblins at Gringotts or Twilight taking Dumbledore down a few pegs), she pulls popcorn out of nowhere and starts chowing down. The confusion on the faces of everyone nearby usually adds some levity to what would otherwise be treated as a serious scene.
• Fred and George try to learn how to become unicorns again by gluing their wands to their foreheads and running around. The reactions of their parents are priceless.
• Sweetie Belle's and Neville's numerous Potions accidents. Some of the highlights include:
  • Swapping the genders of everyone in the room. Snape's Death Glare is just as bad when he's a woman.
  • Accidentally making a love potion that makes all the students in the room fall madly in love with Harry. He only manages to escape by teleporting to the third floor and hiding in a closet... where he hears Goyle declare his undying love for him.
  • Turning everyone bald and purple.
  • Turning everyone invisible (except to themselves and other invisible people). Special mention goes to Snape bumping into McGonnagall and Flitwick, causing all three to have a brief shootout before they figure out what's going on.
  • Turning everyone into ponies.
  • Giving everyone squid tentacles for tongues. Special mention goes to Myrtle lamenting that they're not old enough to really have fun with them, causing many older girls within earshot to have a Spit Take.
  • Causing everyone's poop to start singing the praises of the person who pooped them out.
• The ever-growing "Attention All Gryffindors!" list.
• Most ponies who come through the portal are surprisingly beautiful humans. There are numerous moments in the fic that describes humans or wizards being Distracted by the Sexy when the ponies are nearby. The spouses and partners of said distracted people have equally hilarious reactions to their distracted partners.
• Twilight manages to show Dumbledore exactly how effective some of his strategies are when she gets the students to confess that not only do practically all of them know about the cerebus on the third floor, but most of them have snuck in to look at it and more than a few were planning on looking for themselves. Dumbledore is floored while McGonagall facepalms.
• Draco's reaction to learning that Harry and the fillies thought that he was dating Crabbe and Goyle. The three are so flustered they can't even make a good comeback.
• At the ball meant to honor Castor's knighthood, Discord makes an appearance. He does his usual antics, makes fun of a few of the royals, and manages to scare away a good chunk of nobles that had been pestering Princess Celestia. One of his best moments, however, is when he turns into a Jack-In-The-Box and scares a bunch of ponies by popping out dressed in Dolores Umbrige's clothes.
• In the second book, the new Equestrian students haven't been taught about the importance of wearing clothes. Thus, on the first day of school, nearly all of them leave their dorm rooms completely nude, with some of them getting as far as the dining hall before the Prefects bring them back to their dorm rooms.
• The Equestrian students, after hearing from the CMC that the Forbidden Forest isn't as dangerous as the Everfree, start going in whenever they feel like it, spying on centaurs and kidnapping a unicorn foal so they could teach it magic. The Prefects' efforts to bring the Equestrians back aren't very successful, with one student describing such efforts as "a game of whack-a-mole directed by Benny Hill".
• When Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Twilight see the UK's cavalry horses for the first time, it's implied (via Twilight's blushing) that a human mounting a horse is viewed as something sexual by ponies. Celestia finds it funny (and Discord, who's watching, falls out of his chair laughing).
• The Equestrians experiment in using tofu as a meat supstitute with meat-eating nations ends with the Griffon delegation farting up a storm. Luna explains that the Griffons nearly declared war on humanity when they learned where the Ponies got tofu, and have declared tofu to be a form of chemical warfare, while Celestia is rolling on the floor laughing her flank off.
  Celestia: Best. Conference. Ever!
• When Harry's first trip through the Floo Network ends with an epic wipeout, Pinkie, Fred, and George are seen holding up scorecards, with the latter two clearly confused. When Twilight crashes in with an even bigger wipeout, an equally confused Ron gets roped in.

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