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The boxer
The nameless main character.
- No Name Given: Which makes sense given that he's a stand in for the player.
- Would Hit a Girl: Two of his opponents are Trigger Happy and Toxic Love, who are female, yet he has no qualms hitting either.
- Would Hurt a Child: Played With. While Mr. Adyltmen is a Totem Pole Trench of three children, the player actually attacks the pillow stuffing within and leaves the children unharmed. He however has no qualms on hitting Trigger Happy, who's a little girl.
Coach Hank
[[caption-width-right:504:]The player's ever (somewhat) reliable coach who's always ready to offer to offer some tips.
- Acrofatic: It's heavily implied that he was a successful boxer despite his build, but he ultimately retired and began coaching.
- Cool Shades: sports a slightly over-sized pair that add to his "has-been" look.
- Clashing Cousins: With his cousin Skank, justified as Skank is loud, has a habit of fighting dirty and has a particular love of messing with his cousin.
- Eye Glasses: His Oakley-esqe glasses are quire expressive.
- Pass the Popcorn: He often brings a bucket of popcorn to the player's matches.