- Written By: ThomasPOV: MichaelDeaths': Idiosy (1) Benry (1)
The author begins with an angry rant against Benry for hacking his account, and demanding punishment for him and his friends.
Michael goes back to the library to resume his research. This time, he learns that there are five keys, held by his most trusted followers, although it doesn't specify who. Using intuition, Michael guesses that Ginny, Harry and Ron have three of them, but doesn't know about the last two.
Michael goes to Ginny's grave, expressing the belief that she doesn't deserve a burial as he forcibly exhumes her body. Rifling through her pockets, he finds a key; one has to wonder why he didn't think to search it earlier, or why the Hogwarts authorities didn't remove it when they claimed her body, to prevent it from falling into the wrong hands (and given the condition of Ginny's body, they'd have to find something that determined her identity). The key seems to be quite evil, so Michael protects himself with a prayer and wraps the key in a blessed cloth.
Michael goes back to the library despite knowing that he can't find any more information there, and being all but sure that Harry and Ron possess keys, going onto a brief rant about how they, Benjamin and Idiosy are evil, which makes him sound like he's channeling the author.
Michael then meets a girl whose hair is dyed black and "looks like a paedophile." Her name is Hermione (rendered as Harmony), and she is "a hardcore Pianist," who immediately expresses her desire to be Michael's boyfriend; at least Michael waited until, at earliest, his second meeting with Ginny before asking. She then recites a poorly written poem in French about how much she likes sex. Michael lies and says that he likes it, even though he finds the poem and the language it was written in to be evil. With a very confusing offer to give Michael some acid that she got from Dumbledore, Hermione departs.
Michael goes to Hagrid's place, and finds that Hagrid has captured two "false Christians" named Idiot and Benjamin (who are, for all intents and purposes, Idiosy and Benry). Michael decides to kill them painfully, impaling the former with a sword before setting him on fire, and cutting the latter to pieces before feeding him to a dog. His enemies dead, Michael urinates on their remains and laughs. One would think that the idea of the Prayer Warriors having a traitor in their midst would be potentially interesting plot, albeit one that had been done before, that would make things suspenseful and lead the audience and characters to wonder if all of the Prayer Warriors' new allies could be trusted. Disappointingly, it's just an excuse for the author to have his characters kill his enemies.
The author warns about the world ending on July 26 in most major languages, which reads like one of those airplane safety warnings, and wishes hell on his enemies.
Next Installment: Ebony takes on a mission to find the next two keys.
