Rika: Welcome back. Well...if you made it this far like me, congratulations. Hopefully it didn't take you all of one and a half years to do it. Because, I'm telling you, it can only get a lot worse, so if you want to stop reading...I understand. I won't blame you if you do. Likewise, if you want to continue on, go ahead, but be forewarned that, well...yeah!
Tranza: ...Rika. Is there a way for me to not listen anymore?
Rika: Well, Tranza, I don't know. It's either listening to me reading this, or listening to what I have on my MP 3...which are a lot of shitty songs. (cheerfully) So take your pick!
(Tranza groans, and he tries to prepare himself as Rika looks at the audience)
So...previously, we met Gaku, we had the Denziman "tribute", and ship teases were had by all.
...
(she exhales)
As a wise man once said, "we're building it up to break it back down, we built it up to burn it down, we can't wait to burn it to the ground".
(in an inhuman voice) SO LET'S BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER DOWN, TO THE GROUND, WITH...!
(click!)
Chapter 11: Conquest and Piracy
In this chapter, we get a two-part Author's Note. In it, Akizuki states that this chapter will introduce the Gokaigers and Cole's powerful supporting role. And we get this.
- "Cole by the way happens to be my favorite red ranger of all time in the Power Rangers franchise. Too bad his actor Ricardo Medina Jr. actually caused a negative impact to Cole' fans including myself. Sad."
Ignoring the shit out of the favoritism for a minute, there was a time where people hated Rick Medina. And not just how he portrayed Cole. I think we almost all know about how he appeared on Kept, where he was such an egotistical asshole...yeah.
But fast forward to 2011, where it was said that Rick would return to Samurai. As expected, people threw a fit, until they saw his character, Deker. Some fans thought his performance improved since then—sure, not everyone liked him, but it had such a decent turnaround.
Then jump forward to last year, 2012, where Rick himself showed up in the Power Morphicon convention. There, he was a shining example of a nice actor who played such a mean character, instead of the other way around, and opinions improved then.
And Rick never became an asshole again, well-liked by the fandom—oh, wait. Around September 11th of the very same year, he made a couple dumbass, offensive tweets. And no, I won't link them.
So, Akizuki, I ask you, are we sure Cole is Aka Red material?
Anyway...where was I? Oh, yes!
It goes on to say about the other differences in canon, namely, that there's a different Legend War. And...this is also why I suggested to bring the booze.
- "Also here's the reason why the Gokaiger is in my "Alternate Universe". First, this is NOT canon to actual Super Sentai or Power Rangers. This story was written WAY before Gokaiger 28 was written where Gai Yuki's 20 year controversial status was confirmed to be dead which proved be wrong with other fans who believed he survived."
First, uh...Gokaiger kinda is canon to the Super Sentai universe. I mean, hell, all the worlds were connected to it. Secondly, you considered Gokaiger to be an AU just because you were upset over Gai being dead?
...urk...how...gah!
(Rika drinks her sake—yes, we've lost count—and slams her head into a wall)
(meanwhile, the Gokai Galleon lands near some forest-y areas)
Sean: ...what is this place?
Ryota: This is the path that will lead us to Rika and her captors.
Brittany: Whoa! It's almost...beautiful.
Mako: Almost dangerous, too.
(Ryota nods, and he takes out a map of the surrounding area)
Ryota: We're here...(points to the beginning of the path)...so all we need to do is to follow the path and fight the enemies. We'll decide what we'll need to do once we reach Radiguet's lair.
Sean: So basically, just plan as we go forward. That sounds kinda decent! (nods)
Ryota: Exactly. So that way, we won't be surprised by anything. Also...
(he looks at one part of the map in particular, the part with a shrine symbol)
Mao: What are you looking at?
Ryota: It looks like we may make some allies along the way. Or find any powers. I don't know what this shrine contains, but we may have to visit it.
(everyone prepares themselves)
Mako: Shall we go forth, then?
Ryota: Yeah. Everyone, let's go!
(and so, our All-Stars start walking the path)
(meanwhile, in the lair, Rika is done banging her head against the wall)
Rika: Okay, now I'm better.
So we begin the chapter proper with Cole dreaming of the events of Gaoranger vs. Super Sentai...somehow. (shrugs) And then he's taken into an empty space. Aaaaaaand he's in the nude again.
- Take a shot every time Cole is in the nude.
- Take a shot and a half if it's for no reason at all than FANSERVICE.
Aka Red arrives with a shitload of Red Sentai Warriors, and he tells Cole that he selected him from all individuals in multiple possibilities. Yeah, I can somewhat imagine what that's like.
"Oh, Tommy would have been a very easy choice, since he's more into the Rangering, but he forgets a lot. Conner? Mr. Power-Up Whore? He would go mad with power. Carter? Good heart, good mind, but he shouldn't have killed so many innocent lives now. Cole? Come on in!"
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Aka Red reveals that he's the one who brought Cole to the Sentai world, and the latter just wonders why he had to humiliate him. Our most useless, creepy-as-fuck guide answers that it's all a part of a test, that he needed to test the endurance and alertness. Yes, because throwing a random, nude person to a new world, just for the purpose of a dumbass test, just screams "good planning". That's just as shameless as me transforming my own characters to fit my Author Appeal likings!
Cole asks if he can get some clothes, but Aka Red refuses, saying that it's just the two of them. (she laughs once more, an "I give up" laugh, and she drinks) Yeah, the both of them and a shitload of Red Sentai Warriors, and I'm honestly ashamed that no one, out of them, stopped and thought, "okay, this is just wrong here, so why the hell is our master looking at this guy like a main course at a buffet?"
So to cut this short, Cole's told that he has a heart of gold, and we're shown the scene where he swings on a vine, only for Master Org to swat him away. I'm with Linkara on this one, it would have worked if Carter did it. Also, that scene, to me, proved nothing. Why not show all those moments where Cole senses the hearts of, oh, I don't know, everyone?
And so, Cole's told multiple times that he has strength in his heart as well as in himself, and we get a new name for this Aka Red—"Red Conqueror". Anyone who has either read my liveblogs or my sessions in We Are Our Avatars (and, to an extent, We Are Our Adventuring Avatars) knows that I named my own version of Aka Red: "the Red Legendary Ranger", and later on, "the Ultimate Red Legendary Ranger". And that power wasn't given by Aka Red himself, it originated with Alyx Grayson giving his Other, Catherine, the morpher as a gift for saving his life. After tweaking the hell out of it, it unlocked some amazing power—yes, worthy of an Ass Pull, but still. I chose the name because it encompassed the history of Power Rangers, and that, yes, any Red Ranger can be a Legend. (The "Ultimate" was added on for a shameless Puella Magi Madoka Magica shoutout. No, I'm not spoiling it.)
I can say that, from what I've seen, this "Aka Red" is not worthy of the name "the Red Legendary Ranger". Or add "Ultimate" somewhere in there.
So Aka Red enters Cole, embodying him with the...(sighs)...Red Conqueror powers. The man wakes up from his dream, only realizing that, as he takes a shower, he does have the powers...and Aka Red has entered inside him. Literally.
(Rika has a very dumbstruck look on her face)
Ewwwwwwwww.
In the training room, Sakura visits Cole. And we get a flashback of everyone making fun of him until she protects him. Yeah...I have no fucking idea. They talk, which ends the flashback, and there's some more talking after that. Oy.
Also, this happens. Seriously.
- Cole: "I am destined to wield so great a power and with that power comes great responsibility.
...he just had to rip off the "with great responsibility" thing from Spider-Man, didn't he? (facepalms)
After the talk and more fucking Ship Teasings, we see a ship in space. And who's on the Gokai Galleon? No, not Sean, or Jason, or Ryota, or even Alex. It's the actual Gokaigers: Captain Marvelous (Gokai Red), Joe (Gokai Blue), Luka (Gokai Yellow), Don (Gokai Green), and Ahim (Gokai Pink). And they're totally Not as You Know Them.
They talk about their adventures, and later, they talk about the all-new Legend War. Are you ready? Here we go.
- Joe: "I mean, it was when Radiguet joined forces with Zangyack to crush the Earth. It literally took every ranger to gather across time and they all released such an enormous power. Even those who had died, their living selves came to fight across time and the elders were backed by their youngers. In the end, they nearly lost their powers but probably by the divine will of the Great Elder, they had their powers back in an act of heroic sacrifice like the Gaorangers."
First of all, how the shit did RINO even team up with the Zangyack? Wasn't he dead then, only revived by a Time Crystal? Secondly, how did the living people even get to the fight? Time portals? Third, "had their powers back in an act of heroic sacrifice?" That...makes no sense!
(Rika twitches)
- Captain Marvelous: "But I fear that war across time where the younger versions came to fight may have caused a severe casualty before Zangyack was forced back into our system and we fought them to make sure they didn't destroy the Earth."
...casualty of what? Gah...you know what, this Legend War is seriously fucked up. Akizuki, if you want to rewrite things that fit your view, for the love of God, do it to where it makes sense!
(Rika downs several bottles of sake)
At the New Skybase, Aya received the message from the Gokaigers. She's unsure about them, but Doggie assured that they are only called pirates because they're just adventurers. Ugh. And Ryu is reminded of the Dimensians, who brought the Bird Garuda and were killed by RINO. Gai and Ryu talk, and the former admits—I swear, I'm not making this up—that the Gokaigers are more badass than he is, since he's never been to space.
...Gai, aren't you supposed to be dead already? Dead and playing poker with a woman who may be God?
Meanwhile, RINO flips his shit when he sees the Gokaigers. Tranza mocks him, only for RINO to throw a temper tantrum and punch him. Uh...
(Tranza shudders)
Tranza: ...why? Whywhywhywhywhywhy?
Rika: Because this is anti-logic land, Tranza, that's why.
So, story!Tranza, Trakeena, Long, Buredoran, and Mesogog are chosen to defeat the Gokaigers, and you guessed it, they have plans to take over. I'm sorry, but even though we've seen a lot of mentions towards that, not once do we actually see someone planning a revolution or some shit.
As Satoru's new team, consisting of Masumi, Hoji, Sakura, and Jasmine, are formed, and Jason and Trini are the scouts, the Gokaigers arrive. They talk about the world, and the war, until Satoru's welcoming team greet them. Then story!Tranza's team show up.
At this point, I expect this battle to be no different—any Super Sentai team get their asses handed over to them, the newly-formed teams repel the enemy, and they combine and defeat their foes. Lather, rinse, repeat.
After the Gokaigers transform and do their role call, as expected, they get their asses handed over to them. But this time...we go to the New Skybase, where Cole's still training. Until an earthquake happens. Ryu, Gai, Billy, and Ranru investigate until they notice the Red Wild Force Ranger bathed in a red aura. Cole tells the others, as well as Aka Red, that he's the Red Conqueror, he's the ultimate ally, blah blah blah. Then he disappears.
(Rika sighs)
When he's sent to the fight, removing his shirt as he beats up the enemies...
- Take half a sip whenever Cole removes his shirt for no reason other than FANSERVICE.
...he eventually does appear next to the Gokaiger group, ready to fight. Sakura realizes that he's pretty much right about the whole "Aka Red/Red Conqueror" thing. Jasmine still does the matchmaking thing, and yes, it is annoying as hell. Then Aka Red shows up next to Cole, and a new device called the Red Summoner appears on the guy's wrist. He tells Gokai Red what's up, and how does Cole morph into the Red Conqueror? Simple, by having Aka Red go to the morpher, and Cole yelling "Red Conqueror!"
...which, by the way, is the worst morphing call, like...ever. Nothing too grandiose for something with amazing power. (And to shamelessly point out my Aka Red counterpart, the morphing call to transform into the Red Legendary Ranger? "Red Advent, Awaken the Legend!")
So Cole becomes Red Conqueror, which is a shinier, more muscular Aka Red. I am not kidding. He transforms into Ginga Red, Gosei Red, Abare Red, and Red Hawk—in that order—to beat the enemies senseless. And I fail to understand how in the hell he managed to master the forms, but...eh. Instant Expert and all that, and that trope's not really that uncommon.
After the villains retreat, the Questers show up, releasing Garudagon. The Gokaigers head to the Gokai Galleon, where they get to their respective mecha. After forming the Gokai Robo, it's a showdown, or not much of it, since Garudagon's just curb-stomping them.
Red Conqueror, after destroying any other foes as Deka Red, asks Satoru if he can use the Gou Gou Jet. He accepts after the Marty Stu tells him shit about trust in battles.
(Tranza is seen rubbing his temples)
Then after he enters the jet, he uses a fancy-schmancy new sword, the Sword of Justice. Not to be confused with the quartet of Pokemon from Unova, that's Swords of Justice (though they would be offended by the name, regardless). By using the sword, the jet uses the Flame Bird Attack and the Sword of Justice Fencer Attack. This weakens Garudagon to the point where the Gokai-Oh finishes it off with its own Flame Bird attack. This ends the fight.
(Rika exhales)
After the Questers flee, Cole and Aka Red talk for a bit. And then, after that, we get to the New Skybase, where the Gokaigers are indeed welcomed. They all talk about the fight and how awesome Cole is.
Yeah, I'm really not going to bother countering that, since I've done it so many times in this chapter.
So this chapter ends with some more teasings between Cole and Sakura, with Satoru becoming a bit jealous of this romance. Jasmine just does her matchmaker schtick to not only them, but also Billy and Ranru. I'm sorry, but...I don't think she's that oh-so-lovey-dovey in canon. Isn't she, like...cool and serious and shit?
Regardless, after the second duo denied their romance, Jasmine's caught by Tetsu, and yes, romance does form between them. And Houka is still trying to seduce Cole, and yes, another mention of Satoru being jealous, but still being so shy.
(Tranza screams)
Tranza: How much more can I take of this?!
Rika: I'm honestly asking the same question, myself.
(24+ more chapters)
Tranza/Rika (in unison): Oh, come on!
How much more can Rika indeed take without falling into despair? How will the All-Stars fare on their trek? And what exciting new ways will Cole steal the spotlight?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
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