Cut to Katara and Aang at a lake, ostensibly doing waterbending. No actual water is moving, of course. Katara eventually asks him why he's been distracted. Aang then asks to go visit the nearby Northern Air Temple.
Cut to Katara and Sokka basically finishing the conversation, with Katara standing in for Aang. That was lovely, M. Night; really a worthwhile way to shoot this dialog. So much better than just having Sokka in the original scene. Katara talks about how Aang saw a spirit dragon at the Southern Air Temple. He apparently thinks it might be able to help him if he could talk to it again.
Sokka says no because... the script said so? His justification of "we started a rebellion" is a complete non sequitur; it has nothing to do with the conversation.
And of course Katara, who was passionately on Aang's side, just relents the moment he says his non sequitur. Character assassination at its finest. No argument, no debate, the man tells her what to do and she does it. And why the hell is she even deferring to him anyway? It took her over a season to start doing that in the show.
Cut to that night, where Aang is practicing waterbending shirtless. This time, several streams of water emerge, but they are doing nothing that even begins to resemble his hand movements. Then, as he focuses or something, we see the lake start to bubble ominously.
We get a flashback of Aang in a class taught by Gyatso. And now I see why Gyatso's got dark skin: so you know who he is. After a bit of that, we then see the field of skulls and bones.
Cut back to the present, as Aang stops waterbending, and the lake returns to normal. He says that he needs help, so he gets on the hairy beast and flies off. Sokka reminds us that the Fire Nation could catch them if they make a wrong move. He obviously read ahead in the script.
Cut to another temple, that seems to have an odd degree of metalwork going on in it. A caption tells us what it is, but it's not like dialog didn't tell us that's where Aang was going two minutes ago.
Cut to the temple, with Aang getting off his steed. He meets some random guy in the temple, who looks like he's a monk. When Aang introduces himself, the guy is pleased to meet the returned Avatar. Aang says that "The Fire Nation ruined everything" about the temple. It'd be great if we could get to see any of that actual ruination, besides that aerial shot. And even that doesn't look particularly ruined. Anyway, the guy tells him that one room was left untouched, with a bunch of statues in it.
Cut to that room, as generic music plays. There are a number of metal statues circling the room, spiraling up to a ceiling dozens of feet high. The statues are of the previous Avatars; the one before him was Roku.
The monkish guy ask how they knew he was the Avatar. Apparently, the Air Nomads gave Aang a test involving picking out certain toys from a bunch of toys that belonged to other Avatars. That's really stupid. And why even say that? Is there a point to even bringing it up? Because it was in the show. But again, that's a TV show, not a movie. You can waste time with pointless world building like that on an episodic show. You can't do that in a movie.
Aang talks about how they told him that he couldn't have a family, that he had a responsibility. Again, no reason given. He talks about how there was some ceremony where they bow to him as part of him being the Avatar. But he "didn't bow back." And Noah's desperately trying to act here. The kid's really giving it his all, but it's just not happening. Of course, the alliteration of "bow back" isn't helping either.
The monkish guy asks Aang to forgive him... for luring Aang to the chamber. All of a sudden, a bunch of archers step out from behind the statues.
OK, WTF is this? When Aasif said that they would have confederates set up traps, that's one thing. But for this to work means that the archers would have had to have been here from the start. Was an entire platoon lying in wait down there for weeks, all on the off chance that the Avatar might show up? This is just a random plot contrivance to get Aang captured.
*beat* Aren't you going to say something about how the show did this better? Or how they avoided the issue entirely?. ... Well... Don't tell me that's how it happened in the show. Not exactly. The movie is being unquestionably stupid, but the show's version wasn't much better. The episode version introduced a plot device, the Yu Yan Archers, as a random plot contrivance to get Aang captured. Oh, so now M. Night's stealing the show's bad ideas too? Lovely.
The monkish guy tries to explain his betrayal by saying that Aang's absence caused him to live in poverty... somehow. He's given a bag of money (silver, no doubt) on his way out of the movie.
Cut to Aang in chains, in a room full of candles. He starts going back to blurry-world. He goes back to the cave to talk to the dragon. It tells him that the Fire Nation now knows about the spirits and are planning something with it. Aang says that he'll stop them, so the dragon tells him to go to the Northern Water Tribe.
Oh good. Aang made this trip to see the dragon, all so that he could be told to go to the place he's already going. Such wonderful plotting this film has.
Cut to Aasif waking Aang up. Aasif says that he won't kill Aang, because then he'd be reborn and they'd have to start looking all over again. That... that actually makes sense. Of course it does; it's practically word-for-word what Zhao said in the show. Naturally, M. Night missed the important part, where Zhao said, "So I'll keep you alive. But just barely." You know, the one time Zhao was actually a threat.
Aasif then asks where Aang was for the many years he's been gone. Aasif then starts pointing out that nobody's seen him do any kind of bending except airbending. And as Aasif is riddling this out, he has a very strange look on his face that makes it really hard not to laugh at this scene.
Cut to outside the temple, as some kind of... OK, what in the holy hell is that? Is that some kind of tracked vehicle? Oh, in the Avatar-verse, steam power can do anything. This is a steam-powered tractor? Look, they had a gigantic, steam-powered drill. M. Night is actually showing restraint compared to the show.
Anyway, under it is some guy in a mask. Um, OK. Aasif starts giving a speech to the assembled soldiers. For some reason. Because it was in the show. Actually, all Aasif says is that he's sending Ozai a letter telling him that the Avatar was captured. OK, that wasn't in the show. Well, the letter was, but not even Zhao had the arrogance to assemble a crowd for the sole purpose of telling them that he's writing a note. Anyway, we see the masked guy sneaking in while Aasif conveniently has distracted all the guards.
Cut to a guard outside of Aang's cell. The guard sees a helmet roll into the hallway and then goes to investigate. He sees two guys strung up by their hands, then he gets attacked by something off-screen. Good job, idiot.
Shyamalan, you Goddamn hack! How did you possibly manage to adapt an episode that you clearly never saw? The guards check under the cart that Zuko (oh, sorry to spoil it for the people with 5 IQ) came in on; he had to use off-screen teleportation to not be seen. And for this equivalent scene in the show, the last guard tried to raise an alarm the moment he realized something bad had happened, but Zuko was too fast for him.
In short: half the Goddamn point of that episode was to show that Fire Nation soldiers aren't stupid! And yet, in your crap-ass remake, you reduce them to imbeciles.
Anyway, the masked guy... you know what, screw it: Zuko walks in. There's a bit of false tension as Zuko draws his swords; I don't know why. Because in the show, where you would introduce random characters each episode, one had no idea who he was or what he wanted. The mystery of his identity was properly set up, because we saw him stalking Zhao before Aang was captured. But that can't work in the middle of a film. At the beginning, perhaps. But not 40 minutes in.
He cuts Aang's chains. Yep, he cuts through steel chains and steel handcuffs without damaging Aang at all. Oh, and Aasif left Aang's staff in the room. You know, so... so... that Aang could have it with him when he escaped? That's about as good a justification as it's going to get.
Speaking of whom, Aasif and some guy walk down a hall and find the guards that Zuko took out. Aasif stares dumbly at this sight, while his right-hand man goes off to actually do something. The guards close the outer gates.
As Aang and non-bending Zuko step out into the courtyard, we see a bunch of guys with swords approach. And now we are treated to the worst fight scene in the film, and a top contender for worst fight scene I have ever seen.
A guy tries to firebend at them from behind, but this firebending makes thunderous noise, so they dodge it. Also, his shot wouldn't have hit anyway; top-notch filmmaking, guys. Aang is able to... walk to a raised stone dais. No, really, the guards with their swords make absolutely no effort to restrain the prisoner. They have him completely surrounded, but they are afraid of the twelve-year-old with a stick.
Aang then realizes that this was a practice area. At which point... things happen. Aang takes 8 seconds to whip up a whirlwind that causes a bunch of shutters in the circular area to close. But they're not completely closed; people can still walk through. They don't because nobody wants to try to actually recapture the important prisoner.
The camera circles around as Aang does some random airbending. He's just randomly opening and closing the shutters. I think the idea is that it's keeping everyone out of the area. I can't tell of course, because it's incredibly poorly shot, and everyone's wearing black in the dark. Also, nobody in the shot seems to actually be trying to get in. Eventually, one guy gets in but is wtfpwned in half a second. We get a couple of random cuts to Zuko swordfighting.
After Aang hits another couple of guys, we get an exceedingly abrupt cut to Aang escaping. Yep; he had trapped himself on that dias, but now he's got a clear path to escape. Aang runs across a field of very long wooden poles, which the Fire Nation guys can't cross. And what do you know, none of them are firebenders (or they didn't bring any fire with them).
Aang unfurls his kite again, but he looks back and sees Zuko surrounded. Of course, since the guards are very chivalrous, they only attack him one or two at a time. Aang flies over the guards and lands near Zuko, where they have some more terribly shot fighting. Except now, they've added slow-motion.
The slow motion is what really makes it work. And by "work", I mean "fail epically". You can easily see people in the crowd just milling about, not a care in the world. The guards only approach two or three at a time. Hell, there's even one guy who was knocked down, and his sword is not one foot from Zuko's leg. He could easily attack, but he's just rocking back and forth because of... something.
Aasif puts this scene out of our misery by showing up to explicitly order them not to kill Aang. Yeah, like that was in danger of happening. So Zuko just grabs Aang and threatens him with his sword. The Daily Show's Senior I'm a Dumb Ass Correspondent asks who Zuko is. "Who? Who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a mask."
Moving on, Aasif lets them leave. No, this isn't as stupid as it sounds. Aasif gets on the battlements, when one of his soldiers asks if the masked guy is a spirit. Um, why? It's clearly a guy in a mask; what the hell kind of question is that, anyway? The idiot soldier draws an arrow, and we can see from his line of sight as he takes aim that he can see absolutely nothing. There's a giant metal catwalk covering his shot; he physically cannot see Zuko from where he is.
And yet he not only hits, but he scores a headshot. A headshot that, rather than killing Zuko, only cracks his mask and knocks him out.
*beat* So, um, the show? It can't have been that bad, right? No, it wasn't as bad, but it wasn't exactly something to write home about either. They'd already established the Yu Yan Archers as being better than the Green Arrow, so one could certainly buy them making the shot. Also, he had a clear line of sight. But the magical Arrow of Mask Cracking +3? Yeah, that was from the show. But at least there, they have the defense that it's a kid's cartoon show, not a live-action film.
As the soldiers run after him, Aang takes off the mask to reveal... Zuko, which is a surprise only to him. Aang then takes 10 seconds to use airbending to pull down some cloud cover. Somehow, the soldiers who were running weren't able to get to him before the fog rolled in. They also instantly stop running once the fog appears... for some reason. Aasif actually asks, "What is this?"IT'S FOG, YOU ASSCLOWN!
Well, after all that dicking around, Aang has made good his escape, somehow carrying Zuko's body despite being half as tall as Zuko.
Cut to a random forest. Aang is sitting by a fire with Zuko, who's still unconscious. He takes a minute to look intensely at Zuko, then... leaves. What was the point of that?
To screw up how the episode ended, of course. After all, M. Night had already destroyed everything else about this episode; he may as well screw the end up too.
However, that may be too vindictive. In the show, as Zuko wakes up, Aang talks about how his BFF was someone from the Fire Nation. He wonders if they could be friends. Naturally, Zuko firebends at him. And there was setup here in this scene for that too. Aang randomly felt the need to start a fire, which firebenders in this film need in order to firebend. So it had all of the elements to do what the show did. But the abruptness of Aang's departure suggests that this was cut... for some reason.
It would even have fit into the "changing hearts" thing that their grandmother had talked about. But that theme is dead now; it died after the Earth Kingdom stuff ended.
Cut to the throne of Emperor Caligula. You know, in the show, the throne had a massive wall of fire in front of it, generated by the Firelord's presence. It gave a sense of fear and intimidation. And while this throne room is decidedly... generic, I would say that a wall of fire actually doesn't make sense in this version of things. Why? Because there are badass firebenders who can make fire from nothing, and the Firelord is one of them. So having a wall of fire would be a detriment; it would allow others to bend in his presence. Indeed, having the entire room bereft of flame sources would make sense.
Of course there are fires in the throne room, because nothing in this movie is allowed to make sense.
Aasif comes in, and again, there is precious little bowing. From behind Caligula's head, we see Aasif, giving his report. He accuses Zuko of treachery. We see Caligula lean back a bit. Then we get a shot from Caligula's ring, as he taps it impatiently. He asks, in a most displeased tone, if Aasif thinks that this "blue spirit" (why drop the name? It does nothing at all. Hell, it didn't even make sense in the show when people started calling him that.) was his son. Aasif replies in the affirmative. Wow, Caligula actually seemed menacing in that scene.
Why is this scene shot so that we don't see Caligula's face? We've already seen it! You're not turning that one back around, M. Night. Or did he plan to not show us his face originally, but then someone later decided he had to? Or maybe they had cut out so much other stuff that it was necessary to show two scenes of Ozai and Aasif just to glue the film together with exposition.
I'm really starting to wonder if this film was in fact coherent at some point in the past, but was later turned into a big mess. It wouldn't have been good, but it would have at least been self-consistent.
Budget Matters
This film had approximately a $130 million budget. That's a pretty healthy budget, even by today's movie standards. So... where is it? The bending in this film was cut down almost certainly because it was too expensive. There are several shots that look like something ought to be happening and isn't. Even in the big, climactic final battle, there is precious little actual bending.
So where did the money go? Mismanagement, thanks to our director.
Why did they put that "lemur-bat" in there? What purpose did he serve? Every shot that involved him was money that could have been spent on the bending budget. That scene where it's on Aang's shoulders, running back and forth? That could have been Katara waterbending. That could have been Zuko throwing fire.
And while their flying beast does serve a purpose, it is merely transportation. They could have had more mundane means for getting from place to place. Like say, a boat. And while that might open up plot holes (like how Aang got frozen), those are things that can be easily dealt with by changing the plot slightly.
Those things are only in the film because they're in the show. Of course they are. So yet again, M. Night's obsession with making a literal adaptation hurts the movie.
There are also a lot of frivolous uses of bending. Take the very first actual scene of the film: Katara waterbending a sphere. Yes, we need to establish that waterbending exists and that she can do it. But did this particular establishment need to be a digital effect? Does it need to last 7 seconds? Couldn't you do it with a fountain or something? Find a way to avoid having to use CG, and you save lots of money.
And what about the intro, with the four benders? That was from the show. Exactly my point: it does nothing for the film. The movie certainly needs to establish bending, but just because the show started that way doesn't mean that the film does. You could establish bending a different way. By for example, having a fight scene involving benders. This would also serve to give us an action opening for this supposed action film.
And what about that recurring dragon? That's 3 scenes with complex CG in them. Couldn't he have just been a guy? Like say, Avatar Roku. You know, like the show. Why did it have to be a creature? Creatures cost lots of money; guys in costume cost far less.
And of course, there's the on-location shooting of some of the earlier scenes. You might remember that the location in question was the arctic. Yeah, location shooting is always expensive, but M. Night decided to throw away good money to put his actors out on actual ice.
This mismanagement happened for one reason: M. Night is not experienced with special effects. Industrial Lights and Magic is a tool, nothing more. You have to know where to use that tool, and you have to know how to use from the standpoint of a limited budget. He's never made a picture that has relied heavily on special effects, so he doesn't really know how to do it. Oh, his films have had some special effects, but this is a very different animal from anything he has ever done.
Just for comparison's sake, District 9 was made for a mere $30 million or so. A bit more than a quarter of the budget of this film, and they had full CG characters and such.
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