Live Blogs You're only reading this because I rated the game 3/10! Let's read horrible GameFAQs reviews!

Ephraim2252011-04-19 00:10:18

Game FA Qs is perhaps one of the most informative Video Game websites known to man. Created in 1995, the site is a database of video game information, nearly all of which is submitted by volunteer contributors. You can find just about anything you'd want to know about any given game: walkthroughs, maps, cheats, secrets, release dates, box art, reviews...

Haha reviews

Game FA Qs is already notorious for its many Fora, the userbase of which is known to consist primarily of Trolls, idiots, console soldiers, and people too lazy to read the FAQs the damn site is named for. But that wouldn't be enough, for there is a second cesspit of hatred and lies on this otherwise awesome website - the reviews section, where users are allowed to give their opinions on a given game or system.

Maybe you've come across that one review on that one game, and something seems a little off. That is, you can't understand where the reviewer is coming from, or his spelling sucks, or maybe he didn't even play the damn game. I, Ephraim225, am here to expose the worst, most incomprehensible, unreadable, and possibly painful Game FA Qs reviews you have ever had the misfortune of hearing about.

Now, don't get me wrong, we all have opinions. Mine might be different, that's just life etc. etc....but hear me out. I've seen Game FA Qs users write good reviews before. I've seen reviews that I don't agree with but are well-written. We're here to find the reviews that will make you let out a Flat "What", among other unexpected expected reactions.

Let's read horrible Game FA Qs reviews.

Comments

SomeColorMage Since: Dec, 1969

May 28th 2011 at 1:43:32 AM

Holy shit... You know, someone should show him a Game & Watch Multi Screen. Dual screen games back in the 80's? It would totally blow his mind.

Also, it is possible to screw up one of the touch screens on the older models. I haven't managed to break one, but I have completely screwed up the input before.

Emperordaein Since: Dec, 1969

May 28th 2011 at 4:33:43 AM

The DS Screen may be strudy, but I am too protective of my DS to treat it with anything but the utmost care.

ManCalledTrue Since: Dec, 1969

May 28th 2011 at 7:37:11 AM

My touch screen is rather beaten up at this point. To the point I'm afraid to play stylus-based games on it. It doesn't help that after the years I've owned it, the stylus is now sharp enough that I can probably kill someone with it.

EponymousKid Since: Dec, 1969

May 28th 2011 at 12:04:15 PM

I keep losing my stylus because the original model's one is way too small. I don't have a lot of stylus-intensive games, but it's still annoying. I'm hoping to get a 3DS for Christmas, and I'll try to be more conscientious about that kind of thing.

Korval Since: Dec, 1969

May 28th 2011 at 12:19:12 PM

"What...why...why would you...why would you NEED to play a PORTABLE console on a TV?!"

You forget that this was during the early Naughties, when game developers thought that 2D was for portables. Back in those days, the only way to play good 2D games was on portables. If you like 2D games but didn't care much for portability (like me), the Gameboy Player was a Godsend (and pretty much the only reason I keep my Game Cube around since I got a Wii).

"Sometimes when I am in the heat of the game, I get to a part where I have to use the touch screen pen."

WTF? OK, I don't own a lot of DS games, but not one DS game I own has you constantly switching between buttons and the touchscreen. If the game has touch gameplay, it always has touch gameplay. And vice-versa.

Maybe I just don't by crappy games.

Nyarly Since: Dec, 1969

May 28th 2011 at 4:42:08 PM

Yeah, again a rather... odd review, that makes me wonder if the "reviewer" actually ever used a DS or just pulled something out of his ass.

I never had problems with switching between touchscreen and buttons. When I do that often, I just put the stylus between the middle finger and the ring finger of my right hand when using buttons. I can switch easily that way.

Envyus Since: Dec, 1969

May 28th 2011 at 4:56:00 PM

and the reviews get stupider and stupider

Honestly this guys are amazing me with their stupity

TheOneWhoTropes Since: Dec, 1969

Jun 1st 2011 at 2:42:21 AM

I've had problems with the touch screen, but then I cleaned it. The guy may not know either A) how to clean the touch screen or B) his own strength, so he pressed really hard and broke it.

Loid Since: Dec, 1969

Aug 16th 2011 at 6:58:30 PM

I agree with the reviewer on fragility of the screens, but otherwise...

Reecer6 Since: Dec, 1969

Oct 13th 2011 at 4:45:57 PM

Oh my god this is such a stupid review. One of my main gripes is how he complains about the delicacy on the screen, when I have used the charger in lack of a stylus before and scratched the screen really badly, and it still works as good as it did before I scratched it!

Also, the double screens a flaw? I took this to mean Nintendo didn't mean for the double screens to be there, except for the fact that the ENTIRE HANDHELD IS MODELED FOR IT.

Another funny thing I'd like to point out is at the beginning the reviewer says that no one had known what DS meant for a while, and a few lines later says "Dual screen," which is what DS stood for.