History YMMV / BrewdeningLove

* AcceptableTargets: Homosexuals, Jews, goths, anime fans, the Japanese, [[TakeThat her critics]], [[ShiptoShipCombat Team Jacob members]]... Heck, anyone except Erin herself. [[DudeNotFunny But only Erin seems to think so.]]

* AwesomeMoments: [[BadassNormal Brian]] [[PyroManiac burning down Joan's house]], [[TakeThatScrappy then calling her out on her hypocrisy]], and finishing off with uttering his unforgettable line, [[MemeticMutation "Because I am the FBI and I can."]] [[ManlyTears One tears up just thinking about it...]]

* {{Fandom}}: People can't wait to spork the next chapter.

* {{Rescued From the Scrappy Heap}}: [[TheWesley Jenny]] [[TheWoobie after Joan treated her like crap]], and, surprisingly, [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome after he told Joan he doesn't love her anymore]].

* {{The Scrappy}}: [[MarySue Joan]] and [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]]. [[SelfInsertFic Though, they are the same person...]]

* TheWesley: Jenny is almost as bad as [[MarySue her friend]]... [[TheWoobie until Chapter 37, that is.]]

** [[YouFailSexEdForever The guy who magically made Bella pregnant with a demon baby, obviously.]]

** [[CampGay Jacob]] in [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert.]] He is [[ShockandAwe fried by lighting]] and [[FireandBrimstoneHell thrown headfirst into Hell]] because he is a homosexual and won't permanently cut off his own finger to prove he is straight. [[FlatWhat Wait, what?]]

* AndNowForSomethingCompletelyDifferent: Phoenix is gracious enough to do this at the end of every snark by usually providing an episode of ''[[{{YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries}} Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series]]''. It usually serves as {{Brain Bleach}} for both herself and the audience.
** Most snarkers end by posting some sort of funny image to take everyone's minds off the story.
* AttentionWhore: Phoenix even keeps track of how often she tries this!
** The sheer amount of {{Dear Negative Reader}} instances could qualify as this, too.

* BigNo: Too many to count.

* CanadaEh: The [[ChurchofHappyology cultists]] trying to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[FlatWhat What.]]
--> [[NightmareFuel "THE BAD DEVIL WORSHIPING VAMPIRES HAD JAY]] [[HoYay AND THEY WERE TOUCHING HIM!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11"]]
** Might as well call it, "The Next Bible Black."
** [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment And this is never talked about again after this sentence.]] [[AbortedArc We'll never know how he escaped, or if it was all a dream.]]
* {{Catchphrase}}: [[SoBadItsGood Sexah and sinnah.]]
* {{Catfight}}: Erin has made quite a lot of enemies, especially with two girls. One for the obvious reason that she is Jewish and has to deal with an antisemitic bitch. While the other tried to give her advice only to get a nasty response later on, and sees [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] as an insult to her religion.
* CausticCritic: Lady Phoenix/[=Phoenixangelgal=]/Bird, Tropers/SkeksisGirl[=/=]Skegs, [[{{Hatedom}} and pretty much everyone that reads her story.]]

* {{Did Not Do the Research}}: In Erin's world, you can search the entirety of [[CanadaEh Canada]] in 20 minutes and the FBI can do whatever they want. And that's just the most obvious incorrect information...
** [[TheyJustDidntCare They drove to Italy.]] [[YouFailGeographyForever They drove to Italy.]] [[ThisisSPARTA THEY. DROVE. TO. ITALY.]] [[MadnessMantra THEY DROVE TO]] [[PrecisionFStrike FREAKING]] [[MadnessMantra ITALY!]]
** Erin claims that [[NewMediaAreEvil "goth music" is evil]], and uses Evanescence as an example. Amy Lee, one of the singers in the band, is Christian.
*** This sparked a rant from Lady Phoenix pointing out how dumb this assumption is, using [[AtopTheFourthWall Linkara's review of "Batman Fortunate Son"]] to show [[TooDumbToLive just how moronic this accusation is.]]

** Brian is now her next target in order to [[ShipSinking end]] [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Hugo support]].
* [=~Don't Like, Don't Read~=]: A popular chapter beginning for her, right along with [[DearNegativeReader SRSLY STOP FLAMMING! You heethans I mean seriously!]]
** And now we have: NO SINNARS ALLUWED TO READ IT OK. BECOISE THEY DON'T FALLOW THE LORDS WEIGHTS AND HIS TEECHINGS AND THEY AR TYING TO BRING THE DEVAL INTO MY LIF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111
* {{Doppelganger}}: One [[TakeThat revenge chapter]] targetted a DeviantArt user that was impersonating [[BlackBestFriend Becca.]]

* {{Even the Guys Want Him}}: [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] catches Jacob's attention in Edward Secert.
** [[BadassNormal Brian]], [[FanPreferredCouple thanks to Mr. Smith.]]

* FanNickname: Mr. Smith was "Officially" named [[{{TheMatrix}} Hugo]] on [[http://www.twilightsucks.com/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=8451 this glorious thread]].

* FilkSong: The folks over at Twilightsucks! really like rewriting songs to be about Brewdening Love. So far, we've got:
** Sex-ah Running (Kung Fu Fighting).
** A [[DeadpanSnarker Snarker's]] Life For Me ([[PiratesOfTheCaribbean A Pirate's Life For Me]])
** Cullen Boy (SouljaBoy)
** Two versions of Barbie Girl, both titled MarySue.
** Gonna Be Right Back In Love ([[{{Rickroll}} Never Gonna Give You Up]])
** The Final Chapter (The Final Countdown)
** A version of Don't Stop Believin'
** A version of Bring Me To Life
** She Writes, We Are One At Last, Brewdening Love and MarySue Girls ([[{{Disney/Tarzan}} Two Worlds, You'll Be In My Heart, Son Of Man and Strangers Like Me]])
** Bad Fanfic ([[LadyGaga Bad Romance]])

* [[PoesLaw Poe's Law]]: Does "Erin" exist, or is she the invention of a bored troll? Although, one would think a faker wouldn't keep up the facade this long...

* ScrewYourself: [[MarySue Joan]] is an {{Author Avatar}} for Erin. And Erin [[CostumePorn spends an awful lot of time describing Joan's "sex-ahness."]] [[FreudwasRight Hmmm...]]

* [=~What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made on Drugs?~=]: [[NightmareFuel The Popestick]], [[WhattheHellHero Jesus saving Joan]], [[DeathisCheap Emmett's Satanic revival]]... The list goes on and on.
* [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome What Do You Mean, It's Not Awesome?]]: Chapter 1 is titled [[TheBible "Genesis,"]] Chapter 2 is [[TheBible "Adam and]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Ev,"]] and Chapter 4 is "Savoir."

* AbortedArc: Many. For instance, [[WhatHappenedtotheMouse she never explains how Jacob escaped the vampires who were touching him]]. We'll never know who she chose at the end of chapter 36 either.
* {{Abusive Parent|s}}: Inverted. Joan's dad is supposed to be an abusive alcholic, but he acts like a concerned parent. The one time he gets angry and shouts at her is because she slept over a boy he never met's house and never called him, and then had said boy in her bedroom.
* AccusationFic: Erin [[SelfInsertFic cast herself as the main character of]] ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' because Bella, in her words, is "a dirte bithc."
** Ironically enough, Erin not only occasionally writes her name instead of [[AuthorAvatar Joan]], but also switches her own name in favor of Bella's, especially in [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert.]] [[CaptainObvious It's almost like she can't write any character but herself.]]
** [[TakeThatMe It's even more hilarious when Erin calls HERSELF a bitch in chapters 18 and 19.]]
*** Unfortunately, this is only because [[MarySue Joan]] is more interested in [[SarcasmMode ugly]] Jacob than in [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]].
* ActorAllusion: The choice to FanNickname Erin's father "''Hugo'' Smith" is a reference to HugoWeaving's role in TheMatrix, Agent Smith.
* {{Ad of Win}}: Proof that [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Mr. Smith]] is canon [[http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/8203/lolcoincidence.png can be found right here.]]
* AmbiguouslyBrown: Or should I say "Ambiguously Black?" After Erin's [[SarcasmMode "artistic"]] depiction of [[BlackBestFriend her friend Becca]], it's REALLY hard to tell exactly what race she is intended to be.
** To clarify: [[UnfortunateImplications Erin first drew her]] [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/My-friend-Becca-141603849 literally the color black]], [[ArtEvolution but her more recent picture]] [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/BF4L-171994957 has her the normal skin color for African Americans.]]
* AmbiguouslyGay: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] and [[FanNickname Hugo]]. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Though after Erin made an entire chapter bashing the possibilities of them becoming a couple]], [[TransparentCloset you have to wonder...]]

* [[AndtheFandomRejoiced And the Hatedom Rejoiced]]: "JOAN I DOT LOV YOU ANYMORE!!" [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] just {{Took a Level in Badass}}.
* ArchEnemy: [[{{Hatedom}} All of the snarkers,]] but especially Skegs (Tropers/SkeksisGirl), Bird (Phoenix), Pussle (Tropers/PuzzleChick), and Halo Head (Tropers/EchoFiveSeven), who were all targetted in [[RevengeFic the revenge chapters.]]
* AscendedExtra: [[BlackBestFriend Becca]], [[UnfortunateImplications but unlike Jenny she had to ask to be included]]. [[TooDumbToLive Though you have to wonder who would want to be in this story in the first place...]]
** And now she's ascended above Jenny.
* {{As the Good Book Says}}: Joan constantly quotes, or is seen reading, the Bible, and Erin even uses [[MeaningfulName "Genesis"]] as the first chapter's title. [[{{Hypocrite}} It's too bad she doesn't follow the Bible...]]
* AtomicFBomb: [[{{Understatement}} She employs it often,]] [[DearNegativeReader especially against her critics.]]
* [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Attention Deficit... Ooh, Ducks!]]: ["OK, SPECIAL NOTE! It's been a while sinse I wrote some of this so I forgot some things. Blame the ducks hahah!1"

* AuthorAppeal: Everyone's [[TotallyRadical HAWT]] in her stories. [[FetishRetardant Or]] [[InformedAbility so]] [[NauseaFuel she]] [[FanDisservice claims]].
* AuthorAvatar: Joan. To the extent where the author mixes up their names on a regular basis.
* AuthorTract: Erin doesn't have a story to tell, but rather [[{{Anvilicious}} messages to pound into your head.]]
* {{Awesome McCoolname}}: [[Tropers/EchoFiveSeven Halohead,]] the ultimate InsultBackfire.
* {{Back From the Dead}}: Emmett was killed, [[DeathisCheap then revived...]] [[FridgeLogic but if he's a vampire, isn't he already dead?]]

* BadassNormal: Brian. He burns down [[MarySue Joan's]] house, [[TakeThatScrappy insults her]], and saves Joan's [[SarcasmMode "abusive"]] father from her. Why? [[MemeticMutation Because he is the FBI and he can!]]
* BerserkButton: Mention how much [[{{Fanpreferredcouple}} Brian and Hugo]] love each other to her.
** Saying ANYTHING bad about her story. [[DearNegativeReader She goes out of her way to make that clear.]]
* [[{{BigDamnHeroes}} Big Damn]] [[{{BigDamnHeroes}} Snarkers]]: Expect these when Erin tries to kill off [[{{EnsembleDarkhorse}} Brian]].

* BlackBestFriend: Becca, [[UnfortunateImplications but she doesn't get nearly as much attention as Jenny]].
** She just got upgraded... or is it a downgrade in this case?
** It should be noted that when Erin draws Becca, she makes her black. [[UnfortunateImplications Literally the color black, not the skin tone]]. See Ambiguously Brown.

* BookEnds: [[OnceanEpisode Each chapter]] starts and ends with[[DearNegativeReader Erin insulting her haters]] and praising her (non-existent) fandom.
* BrattyTeenageDaughter: [[SarcasmMode Everyone's favorite heroine,]] [[MarySue Joan]].
* BrainBleach: You probably need this after reading Edward's Secret, Chapter 36, or the "almost" sex scenes.
* {{Breaking the Fourth Wall}}: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on [[{{HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday}} killing off the Brian x Hugo fanbase]]. Also, the "revenge" chapters, [[{{TakeThat}} which completely broke from the "story" (or what little story there was) to kill off Erin's critics.]]
* BrownNote: Edward Secert. It's so bad that many veteran snarkers, including Lady Phoenix, wouldn't touch it until a few others tested the waters, and the few who do brave it [[HeroicSociopath haven't been quite the same since...]]
** Tropers/PuzzleChick recently took a crack at it. In her own words, [[GoMadFromtheRevelation "I don't think my sanity survived. All I can do is walk around muttering about how it's not a crime to be gay and about how much I want to separate Erin's head from her body with a rusty chainsaw..."]]

* {{Completely Missing the Point}}: [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] finally figured out why everyone [[{{Shipping}} paired]] [[FanNickname Hugo]] with [[BadassNormal Brian]]- Hugo is an alcoholic!
** She also knows why [[KeepCirculatingtheTapes it keeps being removed from FF.net]]- it has "luv heart" dividers!
* ComedicSociopathy: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmet back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
** [[DudeNotFunny Erin calls Edward "silly" for telling her he is not like normal boys while he is depressed]].
* CopBoyfriend: [[BadassNormal Brian.]] [[MyGirlisaSlut Joan]] shows interest in him [[ShallowLoveInterest because he is sexah,]] but [[FanPreferredCouple he is presumably dating Mr. Smith now.]]
** They got married, you missed the wedding, it was beautiful.
* CostumePorn: For a supposedly devout Christian Eri- ...I mean Joan, spends an awful lot of time describing her clothes and her appearance in general.
* CowboyBebopAtHisComputer: According to Erin, Pokémon are evil and have the power to possess people because the have horns, like [[{{Satan}} the devil]]. The Pokémon that she uses to demonstrate this theory? Pikachu (who, for those unaware, is an '''electric mouse''').
* {{Crossover}}: In universe, ''{{Pokemon}}'' and ''HarryPotter'' characters have been spotted. In {{Fanon}}, many franchises have touched it, including ''{{Yu-Gi-Oh}}'', ''NeonGenesisEvangelion'', and ''KamenRiderDecade'' - all of which, naturally, [[CrowningMomentofAwesome mess with the characters in some way.]]

* DatingWhatDaddyHates: [[MarySue Joan]], of course. [[GoodParents The poor guy deserves a better daughter...]]
* DeadFic: Whatever happened to Twilight World? It disappeared after Chapter 2.
** It's got four chapters on FF.net, that is until it's taken down, again, for the billionth time.
** Might as well say Brewdening Love and her spins offs are dead. They have either been deleted when Erin got banned (Twilight Bible [Most of the Chapters], Bella's Baby, and Edward's Secret) or have been hung up to dry (Brewdening Love, Truelove Fight, Twilight Bible). [[AndTheFandomRejoiced And the hatedom rejoices]].
*** [[OrIsIt Erin did recently start updating her DeviantArt account with the third and fourth chapter of Twilight World and a promise of a new Brewdening Love chapter...]]
* {{Death is Cheap}}: Did your ShallowLoveInterest just croak on you? Just revive him, with the help of Christianity!]] a satanic ritual!
* DearNegativeReader: "[=AShut=] up you stupid sinnr [[strike:[[UnusualEuphemism Stephenie Meyer]]]] bitch - YOUR PATHETIC NOT MI. Flaming mi as it is agenst Gods will, four peepole to hate is BAD. And if you do tyou not be aloud in Heathen. So NO FLAMING, CHOOSE LOVE." [[UnderStatement And many more.]]
** For those wondering, the "Stephenie Meyer" euphemism comes from the wordfilter on Twilight Sucks!, which...

* [=~Didn't See That Coming~=]: Edward breaking up with Joan.

* DisproportionateRetribution: If [[MarySue Joan]] tries to steal [[FanNickname Jay]] from Jenny, she is instantly forgiven the moment she crawls back to [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]]. If Jenny tries to steal [[FanNickname Ward]] from [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]], she gets [[ArmorPiercingSlap slapped]] and shunned. Tana suffers from this as well.
** [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever She can use God or the Bible against her critics, but her critics can't use God or the Bible against her.]]

* EasyEvangelism: Not quite. The people were already either "Christina" or not. It's just the sheer numbers and how they're all apparently part of the same uber-fundamentalist denomination that makes it fit this trope. Dude, the good-versus-evil lines are explicitly who's "Christn".
* EnsembleDarkhorse: Brian and Joan's dad, to the point where [[FanPreferredCouple their relationship]] is more often discussed amongst the [[{{Hatedom}} fandom]] than the one between [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] and [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]].

* {{Expy}}: [[MarySue Joan]] to [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella]]. [[AuthorAvatar Erin even mixes up their names!]]

* {{Fan Fic Chop Suey}}: In [[SpinOff Bellas Baby]], Bella [[YouFailGeographyForever arrives in England within the span of a few minutes]] to receive an [[YouFailSexEdForever abortion potion]] from [[HarryPotter "Professor McGooglule" (Professor McGonagall).]] [[TakeThat This seems to be Erin's attempt at bashing Harry Potter for being evil.]]
** [[DidNotDotheResearch Some religions do view Harry Potter as Christian, however, and J.K. Rowling is Christian herself.]]
** [[SpinOff Truelove Fight]] does a similar--[[{{Anvilicious}} but much more blatant]]--message with {{Pokemon}}. She tries to kill [[KillerRabbit Pokemon such as Pikachu]] [[InformedFlaw because they serve Satan.]]
*** [[DidNotDoTheResearch She fails to realize that Pokemon encourages friendship, and for good to triumph over evil. The anime even had a few CHRISTMAS specials!]] Literature/{{Twilight}} and Erin's stories, on the other hand, [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop encourage stalking, judging people on their appearance, and being overly dependent, among other morals.]]
** And, of course, it goes without saying that the main point of Erin's stories are to [[TheFundamentalist push over-the-top Christian morals using]] Literature/{{Twilight}}.
* FanDisservice: Edward Secert, and ANY time Erin tries an "almost" sexy scene with Edward.
-->[[HighOctaneNightmareFuel He turned around and had unbuttoned the front of his shirt. He lay bare to me lik a cream pasty of manliness, so delous and loving. His abnobnimals were twitching in angxiety, as were his large manly peckers.]]

* {{Fannage}}: Just compare the size of this page to the size of other ''MyImmortal'' wannabes.

* {{Fingore}}: The only way to cure being homosexual according to Edward Secert. [[NightmareFuel Much worse stuff happens if you don't,]] even if you aren't gay anymore.

* TheFundamentalist: JOAN. [[AuthorAvatar And the author herself.]]

* GreenEyedMonster: [[MarySue Joan]] whenever anyone is near [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward.]] [[{{Hypocrite}} Wait- isn't envy one of the]] SevenDeadlySins?
* {{Ham and Cheese}}: Many chapters end with SOME HUGE SURPRISE IN ALL CAPS AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* HarmlessVillain: The villains barely do anything. Even when they are caught in the act of doing something terrible, [[AbortedArc it is completely forgotten next chapter.]] [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] seems to try, but even then he is only doing what he does [[MemeticMutation because he is the FBI and he can.]] Hilariously enough, the most villain-like character in the story is [[AuthorAvatar JOAN.]]
* {{Hatedom}}: Twilight haters, Twilight fans, Christians, Jews, Atheists, gays and lesbians and almost everyone else rips Erin a new one EVERY time she posts something.
** In fact, [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome it is considered awesome to be included in a revenge chapter or on the "Not Nice Person List."]]
* {{Have I Mentioned That I am Heterosexual Today}}: I luv u, but no homo k?
** In Chapter 37, she insists that [[FanNickname Hugo]] and [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] aren't gay for each other. [[{{Understatement}} Needless to say, it just made the pairing more popular]].
* [[HideYourLesbians Hide Brian and Hugo]]: [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Deny it all you want, Erin.]] [[FanPreferredCouple Those 2 were made for each other]].
* HolierThanThou: [[TheFundamentalist Erin]]. She's probably one of the few authors to [[LiteralMinded LITERALLY]] [[WordofGod put words in God's mouth]] and [[GodModeSue even marries God]] in [[SpinOff Twilight World/Bible.]]
* HotDad: [[FanNickname Hugo]], or at least according to the [[{{Hatedom}} fanbase]].
* HoYay: [[MarySue Joan]] wants to be [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward's]] [[FlatWhat boyfriend]]. There is also much of this between [[FanPreferredCouple Mr. Smith and Brian]].
* {{Hypocrite}}: [[MarySue Joan]] claims to be a good Christian, but commits many sins, from cheating on [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] for Jacob to be [[SevenDeadlySins extremely proud of herself]]. [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] also makes thes claims, but is downright [[UnfortunateImplications antisemitic and worships Edward, despite claiming to love God more.]] Not to mention how much she relies on {{Jesus}} as a [[DeusExMachina plot device]]...
** Dressing like a slut and heading to the [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Volturi]] to seduce them to force Edward to marry her and kill her best friend? Yes... [[SarcasmMode Joan is SUCH a good christian.]]
** [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] is one, too- after Emmett [[DeathisCheap is revived]], he wants to kill him again, [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever despite the fact that one of the Ten Commandments is, "Thou shall not kill."]]

* IGotBetter: Emmet was supposedly {{Killed Off for Real}} in Chapter 9... [[DeathisCheap only to be revived in Chapter 13]].
* IShallTauntYou: [[SincerityMode God bless the]] {{Hatedom}}.
* InactionSequence: Let's face it--after 30+ chapters, [[MarySue Joan]] and [[RelationshipSue Edward]] [[NoSexAllowed are still virgins]] and still unmarried. [[AssPull Any sort of action she TRIES to create]] [[AbortedArc is dropped,]] thus leaving us back where we started: [[{{Lust}} Joan cockteasing Edward]] [[ADateWithRosiePalms and masturbating over him.]]
** And the few that do go anywhere [[{{Anticlimax}} are resolved in the span of a few seconds.]] For example, Edward tells Joan he's a [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampire]], leading to a possibly interesting plotline about Joan being in a forbidden romance which conflicts with her faith [[ImaHumanitarian and risks her getting devoured.]] But don't worry- Edward is a vegitarian and a Christian, so it's all good!
* InformedFlaw: Erin keeps saying how her father is an abusive alcoholic. But we never see it.
** [[{{Pokemon}} Pikachu]] is capable of possessing people. Yeah right.
* ItGotWorse: At first glance Brewdening Love looks like a typical over-the-top Mary Suefic with bad spelling. Then comes the homophobia, racism, intolerance of other religions, ageism and praying for flamers to die along with [[{{Dearnegativereader}} revenge chapters]] and... well, [[BeyondTheImpossible it definitely got worse.]]
* Jerkass: [[MarySue Joan]] [[SelfInsertFic and by extension Erin]].

* {{Jesus}}: He appears in a couple of later chapters and [[WhatTheHellHero saves Joan's life once]].
* [[KeepCirculatingtheTapes Keep Reposting the Fic]]: [[strike: Erin's [[SarcasmMode masterpieces]] keep being removed from FF.net due to being offensive. Though they remain untouched on DA, [[SpinOff Bellas Baby, Edward Secert, and the third and fourth chapters of Twilight World/Bible]] are only on FF.net at the moment.]] Erin is banned from FF.net.
* KillerRabbit: [[{{Pokemon}} Pikachu]] is apparently working for {{Satan}} and supposedly [[InformedFlaw possesses people]].
* KillItWithFire: The entire fic and its [[SpinOff spawn.]] [[CrowningMomentofAwesome Brian helps it along by setting a jail cell and Joan's house on fire.]]
* LampshadeHanging: Phoenix does this when she points out that [[{{Ourvampiresaredifferent}} "Christian Vampires"]] is just about impossible... especially TWILIGHT vampires. [[{{Imahumanitarian}} "Devouring the blood of a human being is NOT Christian you damn fool! And do you realize he wants to eat you?]]
** [[UnfortunateImplications Eat = Kill You + Devour Your Body/Devour Your Bodily Fluids Until You’re a Dry Husk"]]
*** There are lots of Lamsphade Hanging in the snarks.
* LesYay: [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday Erin luvs u Jenny, but no homo k?]]
* TheLibby: [[SubvertedTrope Subverted.]] Tana from [[SpinOff Edwards Birthday]] is portrayed as this, but [[{{Hypocrite}} Joan shows more signs of it.]]
* LostForever: Edward's Secret and Bella's Baby can only be found if one digs deep enough into the Twilight Sucks thread that brought attention to this train wreck in the first place. AndTheFandomRejoiced.
** Sadly, a good chunk of the [[{{MST}} snarks]] are lost due to Twilight Sucks moving its server.
* LoveDodecahedron: Oh boy... THIS is gonna be a [[{{understatement}} doozy.]] You might wanna write this down. [[http://i38.tinypic.com/dwx7nq.jpg Like we have]]
** Erin is being fought over by both Edward and Jacob, had a short crush on [[{{EnsembleDarkhorse}} Brian]] (who promptly dropped her for [[{{Fannickname}} Hugo]]), and is now slutting up to the Volturi.
** Jenny was first in love with Jasper, who is Alice's Husband, who then for no reason became Emmet, who is Rosalie's Husband, and she also loves Jacob, who if the story goes predictably... [[{{Squick}} will be in love with Erin's spawn.]]
*** Erin claims Jenny also loves Edward, but that was only a dream and in reality has absolutely no interest. Except that when Erin smacked Jenny, Jenny magically understood why and admitted to loving Edward silently. [[{{Flatwhat}} What?]]
** In a short second, Jenny also loved Fernado who is sometimes Jacob.
** Becca loves Jasper who is Alice's husband once again.
*** [[BeyondTheImpossible Now try to put it all together...]] Oh, and it's suppose to be TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
* {{Lust}}: Just saying [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward's]] name causes Erin/[[AuthorAvatar Joan]] to [[FetishFuel wet her panties.]] [[{{Hypocrite}} Also one of the]] {{Seven Deadly Sins}}.
* {{Master of the Mixed Message}}: Joan [[MyGirlisaSlut makes it more than clear that she wants to do Edward]], but when he offers to, [[NoSexAllowed she crosses her legs.]]
** "God loves everyone! I love everyone!" [[{{Hypocrite}} Yeah right.]]

* MisaimedFandom: Most of her [[{{Fandumb}} "fans"]] are actually [[{{Hatedom}} haters]] or trolls. Also, [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Hugo,]] a couple [[TheFundamentalist Erin]] loathes, is hugely popular, whereas [[OfficialCouple Edward x Joan]] [[{{Understatement}} isn't really a fan favorite]].
* MissingMom: Where exactly is Mrs. Smith anyway? Has she ever been mentioned?
** She is presumably ignored because [[RecycledINSPACE Bella lived with her father, and this is basically Twilight with an extremist religious nut.]]
* {{Mistaken for Gay}}: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] and [[GoodParents Mr. Smith]]... [[FanPreferredCouple or are they mistaken?]]
** Jenny and Becca, thanks to Erin's [[AccidentalInnuendo unfortunate typos]] and Girls Love fanfiction written by many Twilight Sucks members, most notably Tropers/PuzzleChick.
* MomentKiller: Edward gets cockblocked not one, not twice, but THREE TIMES! And two of them in the SAME CHAPTER.
* MoodSwinger: Erin herself. To quote Chapter 2:
--> [[DearNegativeReader AShut up you stupid sinnr bitch - YOUR PATHETIC NOT MI. Flaming mi as it is agenst Gods will, four peepole to hate is BAD. And if you do tyou not be aloud in]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Heathen]]. [[DontLikeDontRead So NO FLAMING, CHOOSE LOVE]].
** Followed by...
--> Anyway [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] [[ShallowLoveInterest is much <3]] and so is you reedars. Thnx for reeding! [[BlatantLies also my carroter is named Joan in this not erin]] [[TastesLikeDiabetes :3 xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo]]
* {{MST}}: One of the few good things to come out of this terrible story are the epic snarks. [[http://www.twilightsucks.com/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=8451 Just check out this thread!]]
* {{Murder the Hypotenuse}}: [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] wants to kill [[TheWoobie Jenny]] so she can have [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] all to herself. [[SarcasmMode What a great friend Joan is.]]
* {{My Girl is a Slut}}: [[MarySue Joan]] has [[AnythingThatMoves tried to get into every mans' pants at least once.]] But, it isn't a sin when Joan does it- only everyone else.
** [[TheWoobie Jenny]] is accused of this when [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] dreams of her and [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] together, but in a [[SubvertedTrope subversion]], there is no real hint of Jenny wanting Edward, despite the fact that Joan is convinced [[{{Yandere}} and will kill her if it's the last thing she does.]]
** And [[TheLibby Tana.]]
* NeonSignHideout: What were the "[[Literature/{{Twilight}} Volturi]] [[TheMafia Mafia]]" [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeonDrugs smoking]] when the used The Seven Wonders of the World to decorate their hideout?

*** Jacob getting [[ShockandAwe electricuted to death]], [[OurSoulsareDifferent having his soul ripped out to be punched by God]], and [[FireandBrimstoneHell being thrown into Hell.]] Why? Because he is gay!
* NoSexAllowed: [[MyGirlisaSlut Even though Joan clearly wants it.]]
* [[ObliviousToLove Oblivious to Lust]]: Edward, in the first few chapters.
* {{Once an Episode}}: [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] [[DearNegativeReader insults her haters.]]
** Author notes inside the story itself! [[BerserkButton MAKE IT STOP!!!]]
** And calling [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] and [[MarySue Joan]] sexy, or [[RougeAnglesofSatin "Sex-ah."]]
* [[OurVampiresAreDifferent Our]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Vampites]] [[OurVampiresAreDifferent are Different]]: Not only do they [[BishieSparkle sparkle]], but they're [[TheFundamentalist extremist Christians that rival even Erin]], [[DidNotDoTheResearch even though vampires are supposed to be weakened by anything related to Christianity.]]
* OverlyLongName: What kind of self respecting MarySue would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
* OverprotectiveDad: Mr. Smith, but only Erin thinks so. [[GoodParents The readers disagree, and say he is only looking out for her safety.]]
* PerverseSexualLust: It's safe to say after [[SpinOff Edward's Birthday]] that her life completely revolves around [[ShallowLoveInterest this guy]], [[WordofGod especially if you have read her journal.]]
* PlotMagnet: [[AuthorAvatar Joan's]] status as a BlackHoleSue naturally goes hand in hand with this.

* PyroManiac: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]].
* {{Rage Against the Heavens}}: Apparently anyone who criticizes her writing is performing this. [[{{Hypocrite}} She challenges religion much more than her haters, however.]]
* {{Recycled IN SPACE}}: Literature/{{Twilight}} [[TheFundamentalist WITH EXTREMIST CHRISTIANS]] [[BeyondtheImpossible AND EVEN WORSE WRITING]]!

* RevengeBeforeReason: Erin often [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment veers her story way off course]] just to [[WriterOnBoard make a statement]] or [[TakeThat bash her critics.]]
* RevengeFic: Two chapters [[TakeThat dedicated to her critics]], one [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday lashing out at Brian x Hugo shippers]], and one short story [[DudeNotFunny bashing gays in general due to her critics telling her to grow more tolerant.]]
* {{Roaring Rampage of Revenge}}: Let's face it- [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] just LOVES to go straight into [[DearNegativeReader calling the critics "sinnahs"]] and [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever then having God, Jesus, and the Cullen kick their asses.]] [[SarcasmMode Real mature.]]
* {{Rouge Angles of Satin}}: And '''''how'''''. The fic is almost composed entirely of it.
** It's reached the point where her spelling a three-letter word correctly is considered a sign of the apocalypse.
* SanitySlippageSong: In her snarks, Phoenix used "They're Coming to Take Me Away" for Erin in Chapter 6 and her own remake of the [[AngryVideoGameNerd "Angry Videogame Nerd" theme song]] where [[SoBadItsGood she reviews bad fan fiction as a joke.]]
* TheScapegoat: Jacob becomes this when [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] decides it is better to not risk the damnation of his soul by having some other guy kill James, [[SarcasmMode because the Bible says a good Christian damns innocent souls]]... [[{{Lampshaded}} Oh wait, NO IT DOESN'T!]]
** The Volturi have become this as well, seeing as [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] wants them to [[MurdertheHypotenuse kill Jenny]] and force [[RelationshipSue Edward to fall back in love with her]]. [[{{Hypocrite}} I think hiring Assassins counts as murder, Erin, as well as you breaking "Thou shalt not kill."]]
** [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] blames [[TheWoobie Jenny]] for losing [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]], [[InformedFlaw even though she hasn't shown any signs of loving Edward.]] [[SarcasmMode It's not like he broke up with her for being obnoxious, possessive, and rabid.]]
** Poor [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] is now on Erin's [[KillEmAll kill list]] because of the [[FanPreferredCouple love for Brian x Mr. Smith.]]
* SchoolgirlLesbians: [[MarySue Joan]], [[TheWesley Jenny]], and [[BlackBestFriend Becca]] arguably have more chemistry together than with their [[ShallowLoveInterest boyfriends]].

* SelfInsertFic: If [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] ain't a [[RelationshipSue Mary-Sueified Erin]], I'll make out with an Edward poster.
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: This happens to one of the snarkers when she's trying to figure out the whole Edward/Erin/Jacob/Jenny/Emmet/Jasper (To Jenny)/Becca love... um... there's no shape to describe this, she was given the obligatory "Get On With It" gag for over thinking the romance.
* SevenDeadlySins: Despite claiming to be [[TheFundamentalist Christian]], [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] and [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] [[{{Hypocrite}} have broken all seven at one point or another.]]

* ShipSinking: Attempted in Chapter 37 with [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Hugo]]. [[{{Understatement}} It failed spectacularly.]]
* ShallowLoveInterest: Why do Joan and Edward like each other again? Other than the whole "hawt" thing?
** [[BetaCouple Jenny's current boyfriend]] (first Emmett, then Jasper, and then [[FanNickname Jay]]) qualifies too, as does Jasper for [[BlackBestFriend Becca]].
** The only reason Edward loves [[MarySue Joan]] is that she's [[MemeticMutation sex-ah]].
* SoapOpera: [[{{Futurama}} All My Circuits]] is better than this.
** Bonus points for the fact that [[OnceanEpisode nearly every episode]] ends with a twist revelation [[HamandCheese TYPED LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]

* [[SomeCallMeTim Some Call Me Erin]]: [[OverlyLongName Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith]], a.k.a. [[MarySue Joan]] or [[AuthorAvatar Erin]].
* SpinOff: Twilight World! Erin rewrites the Bible making herself the [[{{Godmodesue}} Queen of Christianity]], [[UnfortunateImplications eliminates the Jewish religion all together]], [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever gives birth to JESUS]], and marries [[Literature/{{Twilight}} God]] (Edward) himself. [[{{SarcasmMode}} But she doesn't commit ANY sin...]]
** Twilight World has been renamed Twilight Bible now. [[SarcasmMode Subtle.]]
** And now there's "Truelove Fight," where [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward]] and Erin go around murdering poor, innocent {{Pokemon}}, because they are supposedly evil.
** "Bellas Baby," a one shot story [[TakeThat who's sole purpose is to make Bella a "sinnar" and have an abortion]].
*** Don't forget that she drags {{Harry Potter}} into it also...
** Edward Secert, [[DudeNotFunny the most offensive thing Erin has written yet]]. It has to be seen to be believed... [[RefugeinAudacity It makes fun of obesity, homosexuals, and people of different races among many other things]]. [[strike: Un]]fortunately, it's been taken down from FF.net, and Erin has not posted it on her DA page yet, so the only surviving copy is in the hands of twilightsucks.com.
** Edwards Birthday, [[ADateWithRosiePalms a.k.a. Erin masturbating, according to the fanbase.]]
* {{Stalker With a Crush}}: After being told where [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] lives, Erin heads right over and barges into his territory. But he smiles at her, and doesn't call the cops. [[SarcasmMode Awww, how sweet.]]
* {{Stripperiffic}}: For [[TheFundamentalist a supposedly dedicated Christian]], [[UnfortunateImplications Erin goes a little overboard with the]] {{Costume Porn}}.
* [=~Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard~=]: [[SmallNameBigEgo Erin]] being dumped the first time by [[RelationshipSue Edward]] "for being too sexy."
** We could be here all day counting how many times this story fits this trope.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: From Chapter 36:
--> T_T (Erin: That sadness expreshun is from anime but I'm not a weeboo ok?!
** Don't forget, [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday "I luv u Jenny/Becca but no homo k."]]
** ([[{{Jerkass}} ERIN]]: [[MarySue JOANS]] [[GoodParents DAD]] [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday IS NOY GAY WITH BRAIN!!!!!]] [[CompletelyMissingthePoint JUST BECOASE YOR AN ALCOHLIC DOSENT MAKE U GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)]]

* TeensAreMonsters: JOAN. [[AuthorAvatar And ESPECIALLY the author herself.]]
* TakeThat: Erin tried this against the people who [[{{MST}} sporked]] her fic, twice. Chapters 17 and 30 were dedicated entirely to mocking the sporkers. It merely drew laughter and even more mockery both times, and even caused a few minor memes.
--> '''"Halohead"''': You will die and Santa will rule!
** In Chapter 37, she took a jab at the [[FanPreferredCouple Mr. Smith x Brian]] [[{{Shipping}} shippers]]. [[{{Understatement}} It failed spectacularly.]]

* ThisIsGonnaSuck: Just the [[RougeAnglesofSatin misspelled beyond repair]] title should warn you of the questionable quality of this fic.
* {{This Is Wrong on So Many Levels}}: Erin [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever making incorrect interpretations of Bible quotes]] and even making up her own Bible quotes.
** [[BrownNote Edward Secert]]- even without [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop its hateful message,]] [[YouFailSexEdForever it still screws up how homosexuality works.]]
* TrollFic: [[PoesLaw effectively...]]
* UnreliableNarrator: [[AuthorAvatar Joan]], [[BeyondTheImpossible moreso than even Bella.]]
* {{Unstoppable Rage}}: Erin, [[DearNegativeReader when she gets but one negative review.]]
** Phoenix, especially when Erin [[AstheGoodBookSays relies on the Bible, or at least what she thinks is the Bible.]]
** Everyone who reviewed [[BrownNote Edward Secert]] experienced this, but a special mention goes to Tropers/PuzzleChick, [[{{Understatement}} who was not too pleased with Erin's feelings towards homosexuals.]] Her normal snarks also contain this whenever Erin [[YouFailSexEdForever fails sexs ed forever,]] as well.
** [[{{Tropers/SkeksisGirl}} Skeksis]] When Erin brings up her antisemitism.

* {{What the Hell Hero}}: If [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] is considered the hero of this story, she is way too happy to kill of people, especially [[{{Yandere}} if]] [[MurdertheHypotenuse they]] [[ThereCanOnlyBeOne want]] [[RelationshipSue Edward]].

** Tana from [[SpinOff Edwards Birthday.]] She compliments [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] one time, and gets [[ArmorPiercingSlap slapped]], [[MyGirlIsASlut called a slut]], and [[MoralEventHorizon punched in the stomach by Edward.]]
* {{Would Hit a Girl}}: In Chapter 37, Joan hit Jenny because she thought she was going to steal [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] despite never even hinting at it. And we're supposed to sympathize with [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]].
* WriterOnBoard: Erin's [[TheFundamentalist beliefs]] and [[RevengeBeforeReason statements]] direct the plot.
* WriteWhoYouKnow: Eri- [[AuthorAvatar I mean, Joan,]] Jenny, [[BlackBestFriend Becca]], and Father Holden.
** Makes you wonder how Holden would take it if he found out he was in [[DudeNotFunny the most hypocritical, racist, homophobic, and just plain worse fan fiction of all time.]]
*** And Jenny, considering [[TheChewToy her treatment in Chapter 37.]]
** Tana may be based off someone in real life, possibly another ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' fan who treats Erin harshly (with justification, of course) and also loves Edward.
*** It's possible that "Tana" is actually [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Tanya", an actual character from]] ''Literature/{{Twilight}} ''[[JustFriends who is a friend of Edward's.]]
** Heck, Erin pretty much only knows [[SelfInsertFic how to write herself.]] In her Bella stories, she often mixes up her own name with Bella's, and puts her words into the mouths of others, including GOD.
* WordOfGod: According to Erin:
--> 1: [[BlatantLies Joan is a good Christian]].
--> 2: [[BlatantLies Joan's father is a horrible parent]].
--> 3: Those that don't like Brewdening Love are evil [[strike: sinners]] sinnars who are jealous of Erin because they will never have a [[BastardBoyfriend boyfriend like Edward]].
--> 4: [[FanPreferredCouple Brian and Mr. Smith]] are not a homosexual couple. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Just because you're]] [[InformedFlaw an alcoholic]] doesn't mean you're gay!
--> 5: [[SelfInsertFic Erin]] [[BlatantLies is not]] [[MarySue Joan]].
* {{Yandere}}: Isn't it obvious from reading Chapter 37?
* YouBastard: Anyone who criticizes her work is (in her eyes) an evil [[strike:sinner]] sinnar, resulting in her [[{{Hypocrite}} praying for God to kill them]].
* YouFailGeographyForever: [[CanadaEh Canada]] can be searched in its entirety in twenty minutes, and you can drive from Washington to Italy. [[FridgeLogic Can Joan's car fly?]]
** Most popular theory at the moment is that [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] has enslaved [[{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime]] to make the trip.
* YouFailLogicForever: [[TheFundamentalist Erin]]. If you've made it this far on the page, [[CaptainObvious you probably already have the gist of it.]]
* YouFailReligiousStudiesForever: [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop Don't worry kids- no matter how badly you sin, you will be forgiven as long as you are sexy and Christian! But if you aren't either, BURN IN HELL!]]
** Erin likes to quote from the Bible, but doesn't know what some of the lines really mean (She thought "kick against the pricks" was a way of saying [[CompletelyMissingThePoint "getting back at trolls"]] when it really means "having guilt dig into you more deeply"). [[{{Hypocrite}} She also likes to make up her own quotes,]] [[SarcasmMode which shows just how well she's following the Lord's teachings.]]
** Whether [[TheDavinciCode Mary Magadeline]] existed or not, [[MyGirlisNotaSlut she was NOT a slut.]]
** [[{{Wangst}} She compared her rejection by a guy who barely knew her to Judas betraying Jesus.]]
* YouFailSexEdForever: People become homosexual simply by looking at each other and "gaying" themselves up.
** Don't forget Bella's magical potion abortion in [[TakeThat Bellas Baby.]]
* {{You Need to Get Laid}}
* [=~You're Just Jealous~=] She eventually resorts to this in later chapters to get at all those "heethen sinnrs."
* YouShallNotPass: [[DearNegativeReader "NO SINNARS ALLUWED TO READ IT OK. BECOISE THEY DON'T FALLOW THE LORDS WEIGHTS AND HIS TEECHINGS AND THEY AR TYING TO BRING THE DEVAL INTO MY LIF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111"]]

* BookEnds: [[OnceanEpisode Each chapter]] starts and ends with [[SmallNameBigEgo Erin]] [[DearNegativeReader insulting her haters]] and praising her (non-existent) fandom.

* SmallNameBigEgo: From authors notes, chapter 36: "I cant wiehgt for all the god coments I am going to get coz I woked exta hard on this one"

* {{Rescued From the Scrappy Heap}}: [[TheWesley Jenny]] [[TheWoobie after Joan treated her like crap]], and, [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer surprisingly]], [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome after he told Joan he doesn't love her anymore]].

* {{Jesus}}: He appears in a couple of later chapters and [[WhatTheHellHero saves Joan's life once]]. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer No, really.]]

* BetterThanCanon: The snarkers' {{fanon}}.
* BigLippedAlligatorMoment: The [[TakeThat revenge chapters]] come right out of nowhere, and are never mentioned again. There are also many dropped arcs, including whether [[MarySue Joan]] chose [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward or Jacob.]]
* BileFascination
AbortedArc: Many. For instance, [[WhatHappenedtotheMouse she never explains how Jacob escaped the vampires who were touching him]].
** And now we'll never know who she chose at the end of chapter 36.

* WorseThanItSounds: [[HuntingTheMostDangerousGame Edward is the one being stalked this time around.]] Unfortunately, thanks to the writer being [[FanDumb a psychotic fangirl]], it is unredeemably terrible.

* CharacterDerailment: None of the characters are even close to their ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' counterparts anymore. [[BeyondTheImpossible Yes, she somehow took already flat characters and made them more flat.]]
** A rare example of TropesAreNotBad- Edward actually dumped Joan. [[AndTheFandomRejoiced Cue Cullen- Edward Cullen, that is.]]

* MoralEventHorizon: Erin/[[AuthorAvatar Joan]], though YourMileageMayVary on the exact moment. Some say [[DearNegativeReader the moment she reacted to critics]], others say [[TakeThat the revenge chapters]], others claim [[{{Yandere}} chapter 37]], and still a few say [[DudeNotFunny Edwards Secert]]. Some even think [[CompleteMonster she's crossed it multiple times.]]

* AccusationFic: Erin [[SelfInsertFic cast herself as the main character of]] {{Twilight}} because Bella, in her words, is "a dirte bithc."

* CharacterDerailment: None of the characters are even close to their ''{{Twilight}}'' counterparts anymore. [[BeyondTheImpossible Yes, she somehow took already flat characters and made them more flat.]]

* {{Expy}}: [[MarySue Joan]] to [[{{Twilight}} Bella]]. [[AuthorAvatar Erin even mixes up their names!]]

*** [[DidNotDoTheResearch She fails to realize that Pokemon encourages friendship, and for good to triumph over evil. The anime even had a few CHRISTMAS specials!]] {{Twilight}} and Erin's stories, on the other hand, [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop encourage stalking, judging people on their appearance, and being overly dependent, among other morals.]]
** And, of course, it goes without saying that the main point of Erin's stories are to [[TheFundamentalist push over-the-top Christian morals using]] {{Twilight}}.

** Dressing like a slut and heading to the [[{{Twilight}} Volturi]] to seduce them to force Edward to marry her and kill her best friend? Yes... [[SarcasmMode Joan is SUCH a good christian.]]

--> Anyway [[{{Twilight}} Edward]] [[ShallowLoveInterest is much <3]] and so is you reedars. Thnx for reeding! [[BlatantLies also my carroter is named Joan in this not erin]] [[TastesLikeDiabetes :3 xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo]]

* NeonSignHideout: What were the "[[{{Twilight}} Volturi]] [[TheMafia Mafia]]" [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeonDrugs smoking]] when the used The Seven Wonders of the World to decorate their hideout?

* {{Recycled IN SPACE}}: {{Twilight}} [[TheFundamentalist WITH EXTREMIST CHRISTIANS]] [[BeyondtheImpossible AND EVEN WORSE WRITING]]!

* SpinOff: Twilight World! Erin rewrites the Bible making herself the [[{{Godmodesue}} Queen of Christianity]], [[UnfortunateImplications eliminates the Jewish religion all together]], [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever gives birth to JESUS]], and marries [[{{Twilight}} God]] (Edward) himself. [[{{SarcasmMode}} But she doesn't commit ANY sin...]]

** And now there's "Truelove Fight," where [[{{Twilight}} Edward]] and Erin go around murdering poor, innocent {{Pokemon}}, because they are supposedly evil.

* VillainDecay: Wait, who is [[{{Twilight}} James]] again?

** Tana may be based off someone in real life, possibly another ''{{Twilight}}'' fan who treats Erin harshly (with justification, of course) and also loves Edward.
*** It's possible that "Tana" is actually [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Tanya", an actual character from]] ''{{Twilight}} ''[[JustFriends who is a friend of Edward's.]]

* [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome What Do You Mean, It's Not Awesome?]]: Chapter 1 is titled [[TheBible "Genesis,"]] Chapter 2 is [[TheBible "Adam and]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Ev,"]] and Chapter 4 is [[{{Narm}} "Savoir."]]

* WorseThanItSounds: [[HuntingTheMostDangerousGame Edward is the one being stalked this time around.]] Unfortunately, thanks to the writer being [[FanDumb a psychotic fangirl]], it is {{So Bad Its Horrible}}.

* [=~Didn't See That Coming~=]: [[AndtheFandomRejoiced Edward breaking up with Joan.]] [[DethroningMomentofSuck It's too bad he lost his newly found love from the fandom thanks to Edward Secert and Edwards Birthday making him Erin's little tool again.]]

* AcceptableTargets: Homosexuals, Jews, goths, anime fans, the Japanese, [[TakeThat her critics]], [[ShiptoShipCombat Team Jacob members]]... Heck, anyone except Erin herself. [[DudeNotFunny But only Erin seems to think so.]]
* AccidentalInnuendo: [[ShmuckBait You don't want to know.]] There's a lot of it, though.
* {{Anvilicious}}: The "marriage before sex" message... poor Ed is gonna have blue balls of death with all her massive cock teasing.
* BetterThanCanon: The snarkers' {{fanon}}.
* BigLippedAlligatorMoment: The [[TakeThat revenge chapters]] come right out of nowhere, and are never mentioned again. There are also many dropped arcs, including whether [[MarySue Joan]] chose [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward or Jacob.]]
* BileFascination
AbortedArc: Many. For instance, [[WhatHappenedtotheMouse she never explains how Jacob escaped the vampires who were touching him]].
** And now we'll never know who she chose at the end of chapter 36.
* {{Abusive Parent|s}}: Inverted. Joan's dad is supposed to be an abusive alcholic, but he acts like a concerned parent. The one time he gets angry and shouts at her is because she slept over a boy he never met's house and never called him, and then had said boy in her bedroom.
* AccusationFic: Erin [[SelfInsertFic cast herself as the main character of]] {{Twilight}} because Bella, in her words, is "a dirte bithc."
** Ironically enough, Erin not only occasionally writes her name instead of [[AuthorAvatar Joan]], but also switches her own name in favor of Bella's, especially in [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert.]] [[CaptainObvious It's almost like she can't write any character but herself.]]
** [[TakeThatMe It's even more hilarious when Erin calls HERSELF a bitch in chapters 18 and 19.]]
*** Unfortunately, this is only because [[MarySue Joan]] is more interested in [[SarcasmMode ugly]] Jacob than in [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]].
* ActorAllusion: The choice to FanNickname Erin's father "''Hugo'' Smith" is a reference to HugoWeaving's role in TheMatrix, Agent Smith.
* {{Ad of Win}}: Proof that [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Mr. Smith]] is canon [[http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/8203/lolcoincidence.png can be found right here.]]
* AmbiguouslyBrown: Or should I say "Ambiguously Black?" After Erin's [[SarcasmMode "artistic"]] depiction of [[BlackBestFriend her friend Becca]], it's REALLY hard to tell exactly what race she is intended to be.
** To clarify: [[UnfortunateImplications Erin first drew her]] [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/My-friend-Becca-141603849 literally the color black]], [[ArtEvolution but her more recent picture]] [[http://erinofthecullenclan.deviantart.com/art/BF4L-171994957 has her the normal skin color for African Americans.]]
* AmbiguouslyGay: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] and [[FanNickname Hugo]]. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Though after Erin made an entire chapter bashing the possibilities of them becoming a couple]], [[TransparentCloset you have to wonder...]]
* AndNowForSomethingCompletelyDifferent: Phoenix is gracious enough to do this at the end of every snark by usually providing an episode of ''[[{{YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries}} Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series]]''. It usually serves as {{Brain Bleach}} for both herself and the audience.
** Most snarkers end by posting some sort of funny image to take everyone's minds off the story.
* [[AndtheFandomRejoiced And the Hatedom Rejoiced]]: "JOAN I DOT LOV YOU ANYMORE!!" [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] just {{Took a Level in Badass}}.
* ArchEnemy: [[{{Hatedom}} All of the snarkers,]] but especially Skegs (Tropers/SkeksisGirl), Bird (Phoenix), Pussle (Tropers/PuzzleChick), and Halo Head (Tropers/EchoFiveSeven), who were all targetted in [[RevengeFic the revenge chapters.]]
* AscendedExtra: [[BlackBestFriend Becca]], [[UnfortunateImplications but unlike Jenny she had to ask to be included]]. [[TooDumbToLive Though you have to wonder who would want to be in this story in the first place...]]
** And now she's ascended above Jenny.
* {{As the Good Book Says}}: Joan constantly quotes, or is seen reading, the Bible, and Erin even uses [[MeaningfulName "Genesis"]] as the first chapter's title. [[{{Hypocrite}} It's too bad she doesn't follow the Bible...]]
* AtomicFBomb: [[{{Understatement}} She employs it often,]] [[DearNegativeReader especially against her critics.]]
* [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Attention Deficit... Ooh, Ducks!]]: ["OK, SPECIAL NOTE! It's been a while sinse I wrote some of this so I forgot some things. Blame the ducks hahah!1"
* AttentionWhore: Phoenix even keeps track of how often she tries this!
** The sheer amount of {{Dear Negative Reader}} instances could qualify as this, too.
* AuthorAppeal: Everyone's [[TotallyRadical HAWT]] in her stories. [[FetishRetardant Or]] [[InformedAbility so]] [[NauseaFuel she]] [[FanDisservice claims]].
* AuthorAvatar: Joan. To the extent where the author mixes up their names on a regular basis.
* AuthorTract: Erin doesn't have a story to tell, but rather [[{{Anvilicious}} messages to pound into your head.]]
* {{Awesome McCoolname}}: [[Tropers/EchoFiveSeven Halohead,]] the ultimate InsultBackfire.
* {{Back From the Dead}}: Emmett was killed, [[DeathisCheap then revived...]] [[FridgeLogic but if he's a vampire, isn't he already dead?]]
* AwesomeMoments: [[BadassNormal Brian]] [[PyroManiac burning down Joan's house]], [[TakeThatScrappy then calling her out on her hypocrisy]], and finishing off with uttering his unforgettable line, [[MemeticMutation "Because I am the FBI and I can."]] [[ManlyTears One tears up just thinking about it...]]
** [[TookALevelinBadass Edward splitting with Joan and finally realizing she's trouble]].
* BadassNormal: Brian. He burns down [[MarySue Joan's]] house, [[TakeThatScrappy insults her]], and saves Joan's [[SarcasmMode "abusive"]] father from her. Why? [[MemeticMutation Because he is the FBI and he can!]]
* BerserkButton: Mention how much [[{{Fanpreferredcouple}} Brian and Hugo]] love each other to her.
** Saying ANYTHING bad about her story. [[DearNegativeReader She goes out of her way to make that clear.]]
* [[{{BigDamnHeroes}} Big Damn]] [[{{BigDamnHeroes}} Snarkers]]: Expect these when Erin tries to kill off [[{{EnsembleDarkhorse}} Brian]].
* BigNo: Too many to count.
* BlackBestFriend: Becca, [[UnfortunateImplications but she doesn't get nearly as much attention as Jenny]].
** She just got upgraded... or is it a downgrade in this case?
** It should be noted that when Erin draws Becca, she makes her black. [[UnfortunateImplications Literally the color black, not the skin tone]]. See Ambiguously Brown.
* BlackHoleSue: Everything revolves around this bitch. EVERYTHING.
* BookEnds: [[OnceanEpisode Each chapter]] starts and ends with [[SmallNameBigEgo Erin]] [[DearNegativeReader insulting her haters]] and praising her (non-existent) fandom.
* BrattyTeenageDaughter: [[SarcasmMode Everyone's favorite heroine,]] [[MarySue Joan]].
* BrainBleach: You probably need this after reading Edward's Secret, Chapter 36, or the "almost" sex scenes.
* {{Breaking the Fourth Wall}}: Chapter 37 was almost entirely centered on [[{{HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday}} killing off the Brian x Hugo fanbase]]. Also, the "revenge" chapters, [[{{TakeThat}} which completely broke from the "story" (or what little story there was) to kill off Erin's critics.]]
* BrownNote: Edward Secert. It's so bad that many veteran snarkers, including Lady Phoenix, wouldn't touch it until a few others tested the waters, and the few who do brave it [[HeroicSociopath haven't been quite the same since...]]
** Tropers/PuzzleChick recently took a crack at it. In her own words, [[GoMadFromtheRevelation "I don't think my sanity survived. All I can do is walk around muttering about how it's not a crime to be gay and about how much I want to separate Erin's head from her body with a rusty chainsaw..."]]
* CanadaEh: The [[ChurchofHappyology cultists]] trying to sacrifice Jacob for a satanic ritual live in Canada. [[FlatWhat What.]]
--> [[NightmareFuel "THE BAD DEVIL WORSHIPING VAMPIRES HAD JAY]] [[HoYay AND THEY WERE TOUCHING HIM!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11"]]
** Might as well call it, "The Next Bible Black."
** [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment And this is never talked about again after this sentence.]] [[AbortedArc We'll never know how he escaped, or if it was all a dream.]]
* {{Catchphrase}}: [[SoBadItsGood Sexah and sinnah.]]
* {{Catfight}}: Erin has made quite a lot of enemies, especially with two girls. One for the obvious reason that she is Jewish and has to deal with an antisemitic bitch. While the other tried to give her advice only to get a nasty response later on, and sees [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] as an insult to her religion.
* CausticCritic: Lady Phoenix/[=Phoenixangelgal=]/Bird, Tropers/SkeksisGirl[=/=]Skegs, [[{{Hatedom}} and pretty much everyone that reads her story.]]
* CharacterDerailment: None of the characters are even close to their ''{{Twilight}}'' counterparts anymore. [[BeyondTheImpossible Yes, she somehow took already flat characters and made them more flat.]]
** A rare example of TropesAreNotBad- Edward actually dumped Joan. [[AndTheFandomRejoiced Cue Cullen- Edward Cullen, that is.]]
* {{Completely Missing the Point}}: [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] finally figured out why everyone [[{{Shipping}} paired]] [[FanNickname Hugo]] with [[BadassNormal Brian]]- Hugo is an alcoholic!
** She also knows why [[KeepCirculatingtheTapes it keeps being removed from FF.net]]- it has "luv heart" dividers!
* ComedicSociopathy: When the Cullens are deciding how to deal with the traitorous Emmet back in Chapter 9, MC/Esme walks in with a batch of cookies.
** [[DudeNotFunny Erin calls Edward "silly" for telling her he is not like normal boys while he is depressed]].
* CopBoyfriend: [[BadassNormal Brian.]] [[MyGirlisaSlut Joan]] shows interest in him [[ShallowLoveInterest because he is sexah,]] but [[FanPreferredCouple he is presumably dating Mr. Smith now.]]
** They got married, you missed the wedding, it was beautiful.
* CostumePorn: For a supposedly devout Christian Eri- ...I mean Joan, spends an awful lot of time describing her clothes and her appearance in general.
* CowboyBebopAtHisComputer: According to Erin, Pokémon are evil and have the power to possess people because the have horns, like [[{{Satan}} the devil]]. The Pokémon that she uses to demonstrate this theory? Pikachu (who, for those unaware, is an '''electric mouse''').
* {{Crossover}}: In universe, ''{{Pokemon}}'' and ''HarryPotter'' characters have been spotted. In {{Fanon}}, many franchises have touched it, including ''{{Yu-Gi-Oh}}'', ''NeonGenesisEvangelion'', and ''KamenRiderDecade'' - all of which, naturally, [[CrowningMomentofAwesome mess with the characters in some way.]]
* DamselScrappy: [[MarySue Joan]], [[RecycledINSPACE much like Bella]], is always getting into trouble so [[RelationshipSue Edward]] [[WhattheHellHero can save her.]] [[SarcasmMode What a strong female she is.]]
* DatingWhatDaddyHates: [[MarySue Joan]], of course. [[GoodParents The poor guy deserves a better daughter...]]
* DeadFic: Whatever happened to Twilight World? It disappeared after Chapter 2.
** It's got four chapters on FF.net, that is until it's taken down, again, for the billionth time.
** Might as well say Brewdening Love and her spins offs are dead. They have either been deleted when Erin got banned (Twilight Bible [Most of the Chapters], Bella's Baby, and Edward's Secret) or have been hung up to dry (Brewdening Love, Truelove Fight, Twilight Bible). [[AndTheFandomRejoiced And the hatedom rejoices]].
*** [[OrIsIt Erin did recently start updating her DeviantArt account with the third and fourth chapter of Twilight World and a promise of a new Brewdening Love chapter...]]
* {{Death is Cheap}}: Did your ShallowLoveInterest just croak on you? Just revive him, with the help of Christianity!]] a satanic ritual!
* DearNegativeReader: "[=AShut=] up you stupid sinnr [[strike:[[UnusualEuphemism Stephenie Meyer]]]] bitch - YOUR PATHETIC NOT MI. Flaming mi as it is agenst Gods will, four peepole to hate is BAD. And if you do tyou not be aloud in Heathen. So NO FLAMING, CHOOSE LOVE." [[UnderStatement And many more.]]
** For those wondering, the "Stephenie Meyer" euphemism comes from the wordfilter on Twilight Sucks!, which...
* DesignatedHero: [[MarySue Joan]], [[{{Jerkass}} and how.]]
* DesignatedVillain: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]].
* {{Did Not Do the Research}}: In Erin's world, you can search the entirety of [[CanadaEh Canada]] in 20 minutes and the FBI can do whatever they want. And that's just the most obvious incorrect information...
** [[TheyJustDidntCare They drove to Italy.]] [[YouFailGeographyForever They drove to Italy.]] [[ThisisSPARTA THEY. DROVE. TO. ITALY.]] [[MadnessMantra THEY DROVE TO]] [[PrecisionFStrike FREAKING]] [[MadnessMantra ITALY!]]
** Erin claims that [[NewMediaAreEvil "goth music" is evil]], and uses Evanescence as an example. Amy Lee, one of the singers in the band, is Christian.
*** This sparked a rant from Lady Phoenix pointing out how dumb this assumption is, using [[AtopTheFourthWall Linkara's review of "Batman Fortunate Son"]] to show [[TooDumbToLive just how moronic this accusation is.]]
* [=~Didn't See That Coming~=]: [[AndtheFandomRejoiced Edward breaking up with Joan.]] [[DethroningMomentofSuck It's too bad he lost his newly found love from the fandom thanks to Edward Secert and Edwards Birthday making him Erin's little tool again.]]
* DieForOurShip: [[{{Yandere}} Don't get between Edward and Joan/Erin. It won't be pretty.]]
** Brian is now her next target in order to [[ShipSinking end]] [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Hugo support]].
* DisproportionateRetribution: If [[MarySue Joan]] tries to steal [[FanNickname Jay]] from Jenny, she is instantly forgiven the moment she crawls back to [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]]. If Jenny tries to steal [[FanNickname Ward]] from [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]], she gets [[ArmorPiercingSlap slapped]] and shunned. Tana suffers from this as well.
** [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever She can use God or the Bible against her critics, but her critics can't use God or the Bible against her.]]
* [=~Don't Like, Don't Read~=]: A popular chapter beginning for her, right along with [[DearNegativeReader SRSLY STOP FLAMMING! You heethans I mean seriously!]]
** And now we have: NO SINNARS ALLUWED TO READ IT OK. BECOISE THEY DON'T FALLOW THE LORDS WEIGHTS AND HIS TEECHINGS AND THEY AR TYING TO BRING THE DEVAL INTO MY LIF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111
* {{Doppelganger}}: One [[TakeThat revenge chapter]] targetted a DeviantArt user that was impersonating [[BlackBestFriend Becca.]]
* DrinkingGame: [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DrinkingGame/BrewdeningLove Behold mortals,]] the quickest way to get alcohol poisoning ever created by man.
* EasyEvangelism: Not quite. The people were already either "Christina" or not. It's just the sheer numbers and how they're all apparently part of the same uber-fundamentalist denomination that makes it fit this trope. Dude, the good-versus-evil lines are explicitly who's "Christn".
* EnsembleDarkhorse: Brian and Joan's dad, to the point where [[FanPreferredCouple their relationship]] is more often discussed amongst the [[{{Hatedom}} fandom]] than the one between [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] and [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]].
** [[TheWoobie Jenny]] is on her way. Heck, anyone who [[{{Jerkass}} Joan/Erin]] has wronged.
** Firebird, [[Tropers.SkeksisGirl Skegs]], [[Tropers.PuzzleChick Pussle]], and Halohead, who are actually Lady Phoenix, Tropers/SkeksisGirl, Tropers/PuzzleChick, and Tropers/EchoFiveSeven from Twilight Sucks. Any of the other [[{{MST}} snarkers]] featured in the [[TakeThat revenge chapters]] also deserve credit.
* {{Even the Guys Want Him}}: [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] catches Jacob's attention in Edward Secert.
** [[BadassNormal Brian]], [[FanPreferredCouple thanks to Mr. Smith.]]
* {{Expy}}: [[MarySue Joan]] to [[{{Twilight}} Bella]]. [[AuthorAvatar Erin even mixes up their names!]]
* FamilyUnfriendlyAesop: Hey kids! It's okay to be a hypocritical antisemitic whore as long as you pay lip service to God! Also, if anyone criticizes you and actually gives you damn good advice... THEY ARE A SINNER!!!
** You know how [[PapaWolf your father]] scolded you for letting [[StalkerWithaCrush a mysterious guy sneak into your room every night]] without him knowing? [[GoodParents He's not looking out for your safety]]- he's just an [[AbusiveParent abusive]] [[INeedaFreakingDrink drunk]]!
* {{Fan Fic Chop Suey}}: In [[SpinOff Bellas Baby]], Bella [[YouFailGeographyForever arrives in England within the span of a few minutes]] to receive an [[YouFailSexEdForever abortion potion]] from [[HarryPotter "Professor McGooglule" (Professor McGonagall).]] [[TakeThat This seems to be Erin's attempt at bashing Harry Potter for being evil.]]
** [[DidNotDotheResearch Some religions do view Harry Potter as Christian, however, and J.K. Rowling is Christian herself.]]
** [[SpinOff Truelove Fight]] does a similar--[[{{Anvilicious}} but much more blatant]]--message with {{Pokemon}}. She tries to kill [[KillerRabbit Pokemon such as Pikachu]] [[InformedFlaw because they serve Satan.]]
*** [[DidNotDoTheResearch She fails to realize that Pokemon encourages friendship, and for good to triumph over evil. The anime even had a few CHRISTMAS specials!]] {{Twilight}} and Erin's stories, on the other hand, [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop encourage stalking, judging people on their appearance, and being overly dependent, among other morals.]]
** And, of course, it goes without saying that the main point of Erin's stories are to [[TheFundamentalist push over-the-top Christian morals using]] {{Twilight}}.
* FanDisservice: Edward Secert, and ANY time Erin tries an "almost" sexy scene with Edward.
-->[[HighOctaneNightmareFuel He turned around and had unbuttoned the front of his shirt. He lay bare to me lik a cream pasty of manliness, so delous and loving. His abnobnimals were twitching in angxiety, as were his large manly peckers.]]
* FanNickname: Mr. Smith was "Officially" named [[{{TheMatrix}} Hugo]] on [[http://www.twilightsucks.com/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=8451 this glorious thread]].
* {{Fandom}}: People can't wait to spork the next chapter.
* {{Fannage}}: Just compare the size of this page to the size of other ''MyImmortal'' wannabes.
* FanPreferredCouple: [[FanNickname Hugo]]/[[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]].
** Edward/Jenny, thanks to Chapter 37.
** And Edward/[[BlackBestFriend Becca]]. Heck, any pairing except [[OfficialCouple canon ones]] (except [[RunningGag Brian/Hugo]]- that has to be canon).
** At this point, any pairing that doesn't involve [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] or [[AuthorAvatar Joan]].
* FilkSong: The folks over at Twilightsucks! really like rewriting songs to be about Brewdening Love. So far, we've got:
** Sex-ah Running (Kung Fu Fighting).
** A [[DeadpanSnarker Snarker's]] Life For Me ([[PiratesOfTheCaribbean A Pirate's Life For Me]])
** Cullen Boy (SouljaBoy)
** Two versions of Barbie Girl, both titled MarySue.
** Gonna Be Right Back In Love ([[{{Rickroll}} Never Gonna Give You Up]])
** The Final Chapter (The Final Countdown)
** A version of Don't Stop Believin'
** A version of Bring Me To Life
** She Writes, We Are One At Last, Brewdening Love and MarySue Girls ([[{{Disney/Tarzan}} Two Worlds, You'll Be In My Heart, Son Of Man and Strangers Like Me]])
** Bad Fanfic ([[LadyGaga Bad Romance]])
* {{Fingore}}: The only way to cure being homosexual according to Edward Secert. [[NightmareFuel Much worse stuff happens if you don't,]] even if you aren't gay anymore.
* FunnyMoments: "O0o0o0o0o0o0o <- they are cute bubles." No, it doesn't [[ItMakesSenseInContext make sense in context]].
* TheFundamentalist: JOAN. [[AuthorAvatar And the author herself.]]
* GodModeSue: [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] in [[SpinOff Twilight World/Bible]], who is made "The Queen of Christianity," [[SarcasmMode because we all know how much of a good Christian she is.]]
* GreenEyedMonster: [[MarySue Joan]] whenever anyone is near [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward.]] [[{{Hypocrite}} Wait- isn't envy one of the]] SevenDeadlySins?
* {{Ham and Cheese}}: Many chapters end with SOME HUGE SURPRISE IN ALL CAPS AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* HarmlessVillain: The villains barely do anything. Even when they are caught in the act of doing something terrible, [[AbortedArc it is completely forgotten next chapter.]] [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] seems to try, but even then he is only doing what he does [[MemeticMutation because he is the FBI and he can.]] Hilariously enough, the most villain-like character in the story is [[AuthorAvatar JOAN.]]
* {{Hatedom}}: Twilight haters, Twilight fans, Christians, Jews, Atheists, gays and lesbians and almost everyone else rips Erin a new one EVERY time she posts something.
** In fact, [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome it is considered awesome to be included in a revenge chapter or on the "Not Nice Person List."]]
* {{Have I Mentioned That I am Heterosexual Today}}: I luv u, but no homo k?
** In Chapter 37, she insists that [[FanNickname Hugo]] and [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] aren't gay for each other. [[{{Understatement}} Needless to say, it just made the pairing more popular]].
* [[HideYourLesbians Hide Brian and Hugo]]: [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Deny it all you want, Erin.]] [[FanPreferredCouple Those 2 were made for each other]].
* HolierThanThou: [[TheFundamentalist Erin]]. She's probably one of the few authors to [[LiteralMinded LITERALLY]] [[WordofGod put words in God's mouth]] and [[GodModeSue even marries God]] in [[SpinOff Twilight World/Bible.]]
* HotDad: [[FanNickname Hugo]], or at least according to the [[{{Hatedom}} fanbase]].
* HoYay: [[MarySue Joan]] wants to be [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward's]] [[FlatWhat boyfriend]]. There is also much of this between [[FanPreferredCouple Mr. Smith and Brian]].
* {{Hypocrite}}: [[MarySue Joan]] claims to be a good Christian, but commits many sins, from cheating on [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] for Jacob to be [[SevenDeadlySins extremely proud of herself]]. [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] also makes thes claims, but is downright [[UnfortunateImplications antisemitic and worships Edward, despite claiming to love God more.]] Not to mention how much she relies on {{Jesus}} as a [[DeusExMachina plot device]]...
** Dressing like a slut and heading to the [[{{Twilight}} Volturi]] to seduce them to force Edward to marry her and kill her best friend? Yes... [[SarcasmMode Joan is SUCH a good christian.]]
** [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] is one, too- after Emmett [[DeathisCheap is revived]], he wants to kill him again, [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever despite the fact that one of the Ten Commandments is, "Thou shall not kill."]]
* IdiotPlot: Let's face it, this is Erin [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbating]] over [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]], nothing more.
** ESPECIALLY in Edward's Birthday. [[SelfInsertFic She even changes her character's name to Erin at the last second.]]
* IGotBetter: Emmet was supposedly {{Killed Off for Real}} in Chapter 9... [[DeathisCheap only to be revived in Chapter 13]].
* IShallTauntYou: [[SincerityMode God bless the]] {{Hatedom}}.
* InactionSequence: Let's face it--after 30+ chapters, [[MarySue Joan]] and [[RelationshipSue Edward]] [[NoSexAllowed are still virgins]] and still unmarried. [[AssPull Any sort of action she TRIES to create]] [[AbortedArc is dropped,]] thus leaving us back where we started: [[{{Lust}} Joan cockteasing Edward]] [[ADateWithRosiePalms and masturbating over him.]]
** And the few that do go anywhere [[{{Anticlimax}} are resolved in the span of a few seconds.]] For example, Edward tells Joan he's a [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampire]], leading to a possibly interesting plotline about Joan being in a forbidden romance which conflicts with her faith [[ImaHumanitarian and risks her getting devoured.]] But don't worry- Edward is a vegitarian and a Christian, so it's all good!
* InformedFlaw: Erin keeps saying how her father is an abusive alcoholic. But we never see it.
** [[{{Pokemon}} Pikachu]] is capable of possessing people. Yeah right.
* ItGotWorse: At first glance Brewdening Love looks like a typical over-the-top Mary Suefic with bad spelling. Then comes the homophobia, racism, intolerance of other religions, ageism and praying for flamers to die along with [[{{Dearnegativereader}} revenge chapters]] and... well, [[BeyondTheImpossible it definitely got worse.]]
* Jerkass: [[MarySue Joan]] [[SelfInsertFic and by extension Erin]].
* JerkassSue: Joan. [[PrecisionFStrike Freaking]] Joan.
* {{Jesus}}: He appears in a couple of later chapters and [[WhatTheHellHero saves Joan's life once]]. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer No, really.]]
* [[KeepCirculatingtheTapes Keep Reposting the Fic]]: [[strike: Erin's [[SarcasmMode masterpieces]] keep being removed from FF.net due to being offensive. Though they remain untouched on DA, [[SpinOff Bellas Baby, Edward Secert, and the third and fourth chapters of Twilight World/Bible]] are only on FF.net at the moment.]] Erin is banned from FF.net.
* KillerRabbit: [[{{Pokemon}} Pikachu]] is apparently working for {{Satan}} and supposedly [[InformedFlaw possesses people]].
* KillItWithFire: The entire fic and its [[SpinOff spawn.]] [[CrowningMomentofAwesome Brian helps it along by setting a jail cell and Joan's house on fire.]]
* LampshadeHanging: Phoenix does this when she points out that [[{{Ourvampiresaredifferent}} "Christian Vampires"]] is just about impossible... especially TWILIGHT vampires. [[{{Imahumanitarian}} "Devouring the blood of a human being is NOT Christian you damn fool! And do you realize he wants to eat you?]]
** [[UnfortunateImplications Eat = Kill You + Devour Your Body/Devour Your Bodily Fluids Until You’re a Dry Husk"]]
*** There are lots of Lamsphade Hanging in the snarks.
* LesYay: [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday Erin luvs u Jenny, but no homo k?]]
* TheLibby: [[SubvertedTrope Subverted.]] Tana from [[SpinOff Edwards Birthday]] is portrayed as this, but [[{{Hypocrite}} Joan shows more signs of it.]]
* LostForever: Edward's Secret and Bella's Baby can only be found if one digs deep enough into the Twilight Sucks thread that brought attention to this train wreck in the first place. AndTheFandomRejoiced.
** Sadly, a good chunk of the [[{{MST}} snarks]] are lost due to Twilight Sucks moving its server.
* LoveDodecahedron: Oh boy... THIS is gonna be a [[{{understatement}} doozy.]] You might wanna write this down. [[http://i38.tinypic.com/dwx7nq.jpg Like we have]]
** Erin is being fought over by both Edward and Jacob, had a short crush on [[{{EnsembleDarkhorse}} Brian]] (who promptly dropped her for [[{{Fannickname}} Hugo]]), and is now slutting up to the Volturi.
** Jenny was first in love with Jasper, who is Alice's Husband, who then for no reason became Emmet, who is Rosalie's Husband, and she also loves Jacob, who if the story goes predictably... [[{{Squick}} will be in love with Erin's spawn.]]
*** Erin claims Jenny also loves Edward, but that was only a dream and in reality has absolutely no interest. Except that when Erin smacked Jenny, Jenny magically understood why and admitted to loving Edward silently. [[{{Flatwhat}} What?]]
** In a short second, Jenny also loved Fernado who is sometimes Jacob.
** Becca loves Jasper who is Alice's husband once again.
*** [[BeyondTheImpossible Now try to put it all together...]] Oh, and it's suppose to be TAKEN SERIOUSLY.
* {{Lust}}: Just saying [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward's]] name causes Erin/[[AuthorAvatar Joan]] to [[FetishFuel wet her panties.]] [[{{Hypocrite}} Also one of the]] {{Seven Deadly Sins}}.
* {{Master of the Mixed Message}}: Joan [[MyGirlisaSlut makes it more than clear that she wants to do Edward]], but when he offers to, [[NoSexAllowed she crosses her legs.]]
** "God loves everyone! I love everyone!" [[{{Hypocrite}} Yeah right.]]
* MemeticBadass: Brian, the [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]] of this fic.
* MemeticMutation: From the Twilight Sucks fic-sporking thread linked in the summary: JENNY WAS THE WINDOW!
** MY HOUSE WAS FIRE!!
** Because I am the FBI and I can.
** This page is sex-ah.
* MisaimedFandom: Most of her [[{{Fandumb}} "fans"]] are actually [[{{Hatedom}} haters]] or trolls. Also, [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Hugo,]] a couple [[TheFundamentalist Erin]] loathes, is hugely popular, whereas [[OfficialCouple Edward x Joan]] [[{{Understatement}} isn't really a fan favorite]].
* MissingMom: Where exactly is Mrs. Smith anyway? Has she ever been mentioned?
** She is presumably ignored because [[RecycledINSPACE Bella lived with her father, and this is basically Twilight with an extremist religious nut.]]
* {{Mistaken for Gay}}: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] and [[GoodParents Mr. Smith]]... [[FanPreferredCouple or are they mistaken?]]
** Jenny and Becca, thanks to Erin's [[AccidentalInnuendo unfortunate typos]] and Girls Love fanfiction written by many Twilight Sucks members, most notably Tropers/PuzzleChick.
* MomentKiller: Edward gets cockblocked not one, not twice, but THREE TIMES! And two of them in the SAME CHAPTER.
* MoodSwinger: Erin herself. To quote Chapter 2:
--> [[DearNegativeReader AShut up you stupid sinnr bitch - YOUR PATHETIC NOT MI. Flaming mi as it is agenst Gods will, four peepole to hate is BAD. And if you do tyou not be aloud in]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Heathen]]. [[DontLikeDontRead So NO FLAMING, CHOOSE LOVE]].
** Followed by...
--> Anyway [[{{Twilight}} Edward]] [[ShallowLoveInterest is much <3]] and so is you reedars. Thnx for reeding! [[BlatantLies also my carroter is named Joan in this not erin]] [[TastesLikeDiabetes :3 xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo]]
* MoralEventHorizon: Erin/[[AuthorAvatar Joan]], though YourMileageMayVary on the exact moment. Some say [[DearNegativeReader the moment she reacted to critics]], others say [[TakeThat the revenge chapters]], others claim [[{{Yandere}} chapter 37]], and still a few say [[DudeNotFunny Edwards Secert]]. Some even think [[CompleteMonster she's crossed it multiple times.]]
* {{MST}}: One of the few good things to come out of this terrible story are the epic snarks. [[http://www.twilightsucks.com/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=8451 Just check out this thread!]]
* {{Murder the Hypotenuse}}: [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] wants to kill [[TheWoobie Jenny]] so she can have [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] all to herself. [[SarcasmMode What a great friend Joan is.]]
* {{My Girl is a Slut}}: [[MarySue Joan]] has [[AnythingThatMoves tried to get into every mans' pants at least once.]] But, it isn't a sin when Joan does it- only everyone else.
** [[TheWoobie Jenny]] is accused of this when [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] dreams of her and [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] together, but in a [[SubvertedTrope subversion]], there is no real hint of Jenny wanting Edward, despite the fact that Joan is convinced [[{{Yandere}} and will kill her if it's the last thing she does.]]
** And [[TheLibby Tana.]]
* NeonSignHideout: What were the "[[{{Twilight}} Volturi]] [[TheMafia Mafia]]" [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeonDrugs smoking]] when the used The Seven Wonders of the World to decorate their hideout?
* NightmareFuel: The "Popestick." You'll never want to get on the Pope's bad side again.
** The entirety of Edward Secert, but two parts in particular:
*** Edward [[{{Fingore}} slicing his own finger off with shockingly vivid description.]]
*** Jacob getting [[ShockandAwe electricuted to death]], [[OurSoulsareDifferent having his soul ripped out to be punched by God]], and [[FireandBrimstoneHell being thrown into Hell.]] Why? Because he is gay!
* NoSexAllowed: [[MyGirlisaSlut Even though Joan clearly wants it.]]
* [[ObliviousToLove Oblivious to Lust]]: Edward, in the first few chapters.
* {{Once an Episode}}: [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] [[DearNegativeReader insults her haters.]]
** Author notes inside the story itself! [[BerserkButton MAKE IT STOP!!!]]
** And calling [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] and [[MarySue Joan]] sexy, or [[RougeAnglesofSatin "Sex-ah."]]
* [[OurVampiresAreDifferent Our]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Vampites]] [[OurVampiresAreDifferent are Different]]: Not only do they [[BishieSparkle sparkle]], but they're [[TheFundamentalist extremist Christians that rival even Erin]], [[DidNotDoTheResearch even though vampires are supposed to be weakened by anything related to Christianity.]]
* OverlyLongName: What kind of self respecting MarySue would Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith be if she didn't have one of these?
* OverprotectiveDad: Mr. Smith, but only Erin thinks so. [[GoodParents The readers disagree, and say he is only looking out for her safety.]]
* PerverseSexualLust: It's safe to say after [[SpinOff Edward's Birthday]] that her life completely revolves around [[ShallowLoveInterest this guy]], [[WordofGod especially if you have read her journal.]]
* PlotMagnet: [[AuthorAvatar Joan's]] status as a BlackHoleSue naturally goes hand in hand with this.
* [[PoesLaw Poe's Law]]: Does "Erin" exist, or is she the invention of a bored troll? Although, one would think a faker wouldn't keep up the facade this long...
* PyroManiac: [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]].
* {{Rage Against the Heavens}}: Apparently anyone who criticizes her writing is performing this. [[{{Hypocrite}} She challenges religion much more than her haters, however.]]
* {{Recycled IN SPACE}}: {{Twilight}} [[TheFundamentalist WITH EXTREMIST CHRISTIANS]] [[BeyondtheImpossible AND EVEN WORSE WRITING]]!
* RelationshipSue: [[ShallowLoveInterest Joan's entire reason]] for being is to hook up with Edward.
** The same could be said about Edward- he is only in the story so [[ShallowLoveInterest he can fall in love]] with [[AuthorAvatar Eri-]] [[MarySue I mean Joan]].
* {{Rescued From the Scrappy Heap}}: [[TheWesley Jenny]] [[TheWoobie after Joan treated her like crap]], and, [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer surprisingly]], [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome after he told Joan he doesn't love her anymore]].
** Jacob, thanks to using common sense and fighting for his rights to be homosexual in Edward Secert.
* RevengeBeforeReason: Erin often [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment veers her story way off course]] just to [[WriterOnBoard make a statement]] or [[TakeThat bash her critics.]]
* RevengeFic: Two chapters [[TakeThat dedicated to her critics]], one [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday lashing out at Brian x Hugo shippers]], and one short story [[DudeNotFunny bashing gays in general due to her critics telling her to grow more tolerant.]]
* {{Roaring Rampage of Revenge}}: Let's face it- [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] just LOVES to go straight into [[DearNegativeReader calling the critics "sinnahs"]] and [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever then having God, Jesus, and the Cullen kick their asses.]] [[SarcasmMode Real mature.]]
* {{Rouge Angles of Satin}}: And '''''how'''''. The fic is almost composed entirely of it.
** It's reached the point where her spelling a three-letter word correctly is considered a sign of the apocalypse.
* SanitySlippageSong: In her snarks, Phoenix used "They're Coming to Take Me Away" for Erin in Chapter 6 and her own remake of the [[AngryVideoGameNerd "Angry Videogame Nerd" theme song]] where [[SoBadItsGood she reviews bad fan fiction as a joke.]]
* TheScapegoat: Jacob becomes this when [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] decides it is better to not risk the damnation of his soul by having some other guy kill James, [[SarcasmMode because the Bible says a good Christian damns innocent souls]]... [[{{Lampshaded}} Oh wait, NO IT DOESN'T!]]
** The Volturi have become this as well, seeing as [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] wants them to [[MurdertheHypotenuse kill Jenny]] and force [[RelationshipSue Edward to fall back in love with her]]. [[{{Hypocrite}} I think hiring Assassins counts as murder, Erin, as well as you breaking "Thou shalt not kill."]]
** [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] blames [[TheWoobie Jenny]] for losing [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]], [[InformedFlaw even though she hasn't shown any signs of loving Edward.]] [[SarcasmMode It's not like he broke up with her for being obnoxious, possessive, and rabid.]]
** Poor [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] is now on Erin's [[KillEmAll kill list]] because of the [[FanPreferredCouple love for Brian x Mr. Smith.]]
* SchoolgirlLesbians: [[MarySue Joan]], [[TheWesley Jenny]], and [[BlackBestFriend Becca]] arguably have more chemistry together than with their [[ShallowLoveInterest boyfriends]].
* {{The Scrappy}}: [[MarySue Joan]] and [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]]. [[SelfInsertFic Though, they are the same person...]]
* ScrewYourself: [[MarySue Joan]] is an {{Author Avatar}} for Erin. And Erin [[CostumePorn spends an awful lot of time describing Joan's "sex-ahness."]] [[FreudwasRight Hmmm...]]
* SelfInsertFic: If [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] ain't a [[RelationshipSue Mary-Sueified Erin]], I'll make out with an Edward poster.
* SesquipedalianLoquaciousness: This happens to one of the snarkers when she's trying to figure out the whole Edward/Erin/Jacob/Jenny/Emmet/Jasper (To Jenny)/Becca love... um... there's no shape to describe this, she was given the obligatory "Get On With It" gag for over thinking the romance.
* SevenDeadlySins: Despite claiming to be [[TheFundamentalist Christian]], [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] and [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] [[{{Hypocrite}} have broken all seven at one point or another.]]
* {{Shipping}}: Brian and [[{{Fannickname}} Hugo]]/Mr. Smith OTP! No matter how much Erin denies it. They are the best part of the story.
** Wasn't Jenny and Becca suggested too?
*** And Joan and Jenny.
* ShipSinking: Attempted in Chapter 37 with [[FanPreferredCouple Brian x Hugo]]. [[{{Understatement}} It failed spectacularly.]]
* ShallowLoveInterest: Why do Joan and Edward like each other again? Other than the whole "hawt" thing?
** [[BetaCouple Jenny's current boyfriend]] (first Emmett, then Jasper, and then [[FanNickname Jay]]) qualifies too, as does Jasper for [[BlackBestFriend Becca]].
** The only reason Edward loves [[MarySue Joan]] is that she's [[MemeticMutation sex-ah]].
* SmallNameBigEgo: From authors notes, chapter 36: "I cant wiehgt for all the god coments I am going to get coz I woked exta hard on this one"
* SoapOpera: [[{{Futurama}} All My Circuits]] is better than this.
** Bonus points for the fact that [[OnceanEpisode nearly every episode]] ends with a twist revelation [[HamandCheese TYPED LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]
* [[SoBadItsGood So Bad It's Sex-ah]]: Mostly, it's this.
* [[SomeCallMeTim Some Call Me Erin]]: [[OverlyLongName Joan St. Sanctuary Louisa-Smith]], a.k.a. [[MarySue Joan]] or [[AuthorAvatar Erin]].
* SpinOff: Twilight World! Erin rewrites the Bible making herself the [[{{Godmodesue}} Queen of Christianity]], [[UnfortunateImplications eliminates the Jewish religion all together]], [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever gives birth to JESUS]], and marries [[{{Twilight}} God]] (Edward) himself. [[{{SarcasmMode}} But she doesn't commit ANY sin...]]
** Twilight World has been renamed Twilight Bible now. [[SarcasmMode Subtle.]]
** And now there's "Truelove Fight," where [[{{Twilight}} Edward]] and Erin go around murdering poor, innocent {{Pokemon}}, because they are supposedly evil.
** "Bellas Baby," a one shot story [[TakeThat who's sole purpose is to make Bella a "sinnar" and have an abortion]].
*** Don't forget that she drags {{Harry Potter}} into it also...
** Edward Secert, [[DudeNotFunny the most offensive thing Erin has written yet]]. It has to be seen to be believed... [[RefugeinAudacity It makes fun of obesity, homosexuals, and people of different races among many other things]]. [[strike: Un]]fortunately, it's been taken down from FF.net, and Erin has not posted it on her DA page yet, so the only surviving copy is in the hands of twilightsucks.com.
** Edwards Birthday, [[ADateWithRosiePalms a.k.a. Erin masturbating, according to the fanbase.]]
* {{Stalker With a Crush}}: After being told where [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] lives, Erin heads right over and barges into his territory. But he smiles at her, and doesn't call the cops. [[SarcasmMode Awww, how sweet.]]
* {{Stripperiffic}}: For [[TheFundamentalist a supposedly dedicated Christian]], [[UnfortunateImplications Erin goes a little overboard with the]] {{Costume Porn}}.
* [=~Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard~=]: [[SmallNameBigEgo Erin]] being dumped the first time by [[RelationshipSue Edward]] "for being too sexy."
** We could be here all day counting how many times this story fits this trope.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: From Chapter 36:
--> T_T (Erin: That sadness expreshun is from anime but I'm not a weeboo ok?!
** Don't forget, [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday "I luv u Jenny/Becca but no homo k."]]
** ([[{{Jerkass}} ERIN]]: [[MarySue JOANS]] [[GoodParents DAD]] [[HaveIMentionedThatIamHeterosexualToday IS NOY GAY WITH BRAIN!!!!!]] [[CompletelyMissingthePoint JUST BECOASE YOR AN ALCOHLIC DOSENT MAKE U GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)]]
* {{Sympathetic Sue}}: After Joan [[ArmorPiercingSlap smacks]] [[TheWoobie Jenny]] and [[MurdertheHypotenuse plans to murder her]] as well as [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] [[TakeThat so he can't be paired up with Mr. Smith anymore]], we are expected to feel bad for HER and wish death on these two innocent people because she lost her boyfriend. Yup.
* TeensAreMonsters: JOAN. [[AuthorAvatar And ESPECIALLY the author herself.]]
* TakeThat: Erin tried this against the people who [[{{MST}} sporked]] her fic, twice. Chapters 17 and 30 were dedicated entirely to mocking the sporkers. It merely drew laughter and even more mockery both times, and even caused a few minor memes.
--> '''"Halohead"''': You will die and Santa will rule!
** In Chapter 37, she took a jab at the [[FanPreferredCouple Mr. Smith x Brian]] [[{{Shipping}} shippers]]. [[{{Understatement}} It failed spectacularly.]]
* ThirtySuePileup: Until recently, every good character was a {{Mary Sue}} or {{Gary Stu}}. Now, only [[AuthorAvatar Joan]] is.
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: Just the [[RougeAnglesofSatin misspelled beyond repair]] title should warn you of the questionable quality of this fic.
* {{This Is Wrong on So Many Levels}}: Erin [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever making incorrect interpretations of Bible quotes]] and even making up her own Bible quotes.
** [[BrownNote Edward Secert]]- even without [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop its hateful message,]] [[YouFailSexEdForever it still screws up how homosexuality works.]]
* TrollFic: [[PoesLaw effectively...]]
* UnreliableNarrator: [[AuthorAvatar Joan]], [[BeyondTheImpossible moreso than even Bella.]]
* {{Unstoppable Rage}}: Erin, [[DearNegativeReader when she gets but one negative review.]]
** Phoenix, especially when Erin [[AstheGoodBookSays relies on the Bible, or at least what she thinks is the Bible.]]
** Everyone who reviewed [[BrownNote Edward Secert]] experienced this, but a special mention goes to Tropers/PuzzleChick, [[{{Understatement}} who was not too pleased with Erin's feelings towards homosexuals.]] Her normal snarks also contain this whenever Erin [[YouFailSexEdForever fails sexs ed forever,]] as well.
** [[{{Tropers/SkeksisGirl}} Skeksis]] When Erin brings up her antisemitism.
* VillainDecay: Wait, who is [[{{Twilight}} James]] again?
** [[YouFailSexEdForever The guy who magically made Bella pregnant with a demon baby, obviously.]]
* {{Wangst}}: In '''''spades'''''.
--> "How could he dump me? DID he dump me? Leaving your girldriend after a talk like that I dunno. He had bean so mean... He had just leafed me becorse I was hot. It was UNFARE!!!111 [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever I wandered if this was how Jesus had felt being beetrayd by Jewdas.]]"
* {{Warped Aesop}}: [[ShallowLoveInterest Marrying someone just because they are sex-ah.]]
** [[TrueLovesKiss True love]] happening in a matter of hours and [[ShallowLoveInterest only based on physical appearances.]]
** {{God}} [[GodModeSue makes ANYTHING possible]]... [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever including forcing people to fall in love with you against their will]] and [[RageAgainsttheHeavens killing those you don't like!]] [[{{Hypocrite}} All you have to do is pray for their deaths/attention!]]
* TheWesley: Jenny is almost as bad as [[MarySue her friend]]... [[TheWoobie until Chapter 37, that is.]]
* [=~What Do You Mean, It Wasn't Made on Drugs?~=]: [[NightmareFuel The Popestick]], [[WhattheHellHero Jesus saving Joan]], [[DeathisCheap Emmett's Satanic revival]]... The list goes on and on.
* [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome What Do You Mean, It's Not Awesome?]]: Chapter 1 is titled [[TheBible "Genesis,"]] Chapter 2 is [[TheBible "Adam and]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Ev,"]] and Chapter 4 is [[{{Narm}} "Savoir."]]
* {{What the Hell Hero}}: If [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] is considered the hero of this story, she is way too happy to kill of people, especially [[{{Yandere}} if]] [[MurdertheHypotenuse they]] [[ThereCanOnlyBeOne want]] [[RelationshipSue Edward]].
* TheWoobie: Jenny, who nearly had her boyfriend stolen by [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] and got [[ArmorPiercingSlap smacked]] for supposedly wanting to steal [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]]. [[GoodParents Mr. Smith]] could count too, considering he is supposedly [[AbusiveParents abusive]], but seems to be a nice guy who has to put up with [[MarySue Joany Sue's]] behavior.
** [[CampGay Jacob]] in [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert.]] He is [[ShockandAwe fried by lighting]] and [[FireandBrimstoneHell thrown headfirst into Hell]] because he is a homosexual and won't permanently cut off his own finger to prove he is straight. [[FlatWhat Wait, what?]]
** [[KillerRabbit Pikachu]] in [[SpinOff Truelove Fight]]. [[InformedFlaw There were no signs of it doing anything harmful,]] [[KicktheDog yet Edward threw it up, and it never came down.]] [[DiedHappilyEverAfter Fans think it is in Heaven...]]
** Everyone who is stuck in this crapfest except [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]]/[[AuthorAvatar Joan]]. Specifically:
*** [[DieforOurShip Bella]], who was [[TheChewToy killed in]] [[SpinOff Twilight World]] for finding love, forced to have an abortion after [[YouFailBiologyForever magically becoming pregnant with James's (er,]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Joms's]]) [[YouFailBiologyForever baby]] in [[{{SpinOff}} Bellas Baby]], and insulted by [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] constantly.
*** [[BlackBestFriend Becca]], to quote the source material, ""I scremed in joy and ran down the hill and into Beccas car, [[{{Jerkass}} telling her that no matter how much lipstick she had on her lips would always look a bit ugly so to drop the fucking lippy and to drive to]]"
*** [[BadassNormal Brian]], who is being hunted down in Chapter 37 [[DieForOurShip to keep people from pairing him with Hugo]].
*** [[GoodParents Hugo]]... Poor Hugo. He is accused of being [[INeedAFreakingDrink an alcoholic]], [[AbusiveParents abusive]], [[WhenYouComingHomeDad too busy to see his daughter]], and an OverprotectiveDad, when in fact [[GoodParents he is shown to be caring, hardworking but still having time for his daughter, and only concerned for her safety]]. [[FanPreferredCouple He is also kept from the love of his life, Brian.]]
** Tana from [[SpinOff Edwards Birthday.]] She compliments [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] one time, and gets [[ArmorPiercingSlap slapped]], [[MyGirlIsASlut called a slut]], and [[MoralEventHorizon punched in the stomach by Edward.]]
* WorseThanItSounds: [[HuntingTheMostDangerousGame Edward is the one being stalked this time around.]] Unfortunately, thanks to the writer being [[FanDumb a psychotic fangirl]], it is {{So Bad Its Horrible}}.
* {{Would Hit a Girl}}: In Chapter 37, Joan hit Jenny because she thought she was going to steal [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] despite never even hinting at it. And we're supposed to sympathize with [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]].
* WriterOnBoard: Erin's [[TheFundamentalist beliefs]] and [[RevengeBeforeReason statements]] direct the plot.
* WriteWhoYouKnow: Eri- [[AuthorAvatar I mean, Joan,]] Jenny, [[BlackBestFriend Becca]], and Father Holden.
** Makes you wonder how Holden would take it if he found out he was in [[DudeNotFunny the most hypocritical, racist, homophobic, and just plain worse fan fiction of all time.]]
*** And Jenny, considering [[TheChewToy her treatment in Chapter 37.]]
** Tana may be based off someone in real life, possibly another ''{{Twilight}}'' fan who treats Erin harshly (with justification, of course) and also loves Edward.
*** It's possible that "Tana" is actually [[RougeAnglesOfSatin "Tanya", an actual character from]] ''{{Twilight}} ''[[JustFriends who is a friend of Edward's.]]
** Heck, Erin pretty much only knows [[SelfInsertFic how to write herself.]] In her Bella stories, she often mixes up her own name with Bella's, and puts her words into the mouths of others, including GOD.
* WordOfGod: According to Erin:
--> 1: [[BlatantLies Joan is a good Christian]].
--> 2: [[BlatantLies Joan's father is a horrible parent]].
--> 3: Those that don't like Brewdening Love are evil [[strike: sinners]] sinnars who are jealous of Erin because they will never have a [[BastardBoyfriend boyfriend like Edward]].
--> 4: [[FanPreferredCouple Brian and Mr. Smith]] are not a homosexual couple. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Just because you're]] [[InformedFlaw an alcoholic]] doesn't mean you're gay!
--> 5: [[SelfInsertFic Erin]] [[BlatantLies is not]] [[MarySue Joan]].
* {{Yandere}}: Isn't it obvious from reading Chapter 37?
* YouBastard: Anyone who criticizes her work is (in her eyes) an evil [[strike:sinner]] sinnar, resulting in her [[{{Hypocrite}} praying for God to kill them]].
* YouFailGeographyForever: [[CanadaEh Canada]] can be searched in its entirety in twenty minutes, and you can drive from Washington to Italy. [[FridgeLogic Can Joan's car fly?]]
** Most popular theory at the moment is that [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] has enslaved [[{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime]] to make the trip.
* YouFailLogicForever: [[TheFundamentalist Erin]]. If you've made it this far on the page, [[CaptainObvious you probably already have the gist of it.]]
* YouFailReligiousStudiesForever: [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop Don't worry kids- no matter how badly you sin, you will be forgiven as long as you are sexy and Christian! But if you aren't either, BURN IN HELL!]]
** Erin likes to quote from the Bible, but doesn't know what some of the lines really mean (She thought "kick against the pricks" was a way of saying [[CompletelyMissingThePoint "getting back at trolls"]] when it really means "having guilt dig into you more deeply"). [[{{Hypocrite}} She also likes to make up her own quotes,]] [[SarcasmMode which shows just how well she's following the Lord's teachings.]]
** Whether [[TheDavinciCode Mary Magadeline]] existed or not, [[MyGirlisNotaSlut she was NOT a slut.]]
** [[{{Wangst}} She compared her rejection by a guy who barely knew her to Judas betraying Jesus.]]
* YouFailSexEdForever: People become homosexual simply by looking at each other and "gaying" themselves up.
** Don't forget Bella's magical potion abortion in [[TakeThat Bellas Baby.]]
* {{You Need to Get Laid}}
* [=~You're Just Jealous~=] She eventually resorts to this in later chapters to get at all those "heethen sinnrs."
* YouShallNotPass: [[DearNegativeReader "NO SINNARS ALLUWED TO READ IT OK. BECOISE THEY DON'T FALLOW THE LORDS WEIGHTS AND HIS TEECHINGS AND THEY AR TYING TO BRING THE DEVAL INTO MY LIF!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111111"]]

* {{Dethroning Moment of Suck}}: The fic would just be [[SoBadItsGood another hilariously bad fanfic]] like {{My Immortal}}, but [[TheFundamentalist Erin]] has to go out of her way [[DudeNotFunny to insult people of other faiths (especially Jews) and homosexuals...]]
** [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert]], which is all of the above and more wrapped into one [[SarcasmMode nice]] little package and {{Turned Up to Eleven}}.

* [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Attention Deficit... Ooh, Ducks!]]: [[WallBanger "OK, SPECIAL NOTE! It's been a while sinse I wrote some of this so I forgot some things. Blame the ducks hahah!1"]]

* {{Completely Missing the Point}}: [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] finally figured out why everyone [[{{Shipping}} paired]] [[FanNickname Hugo]] with [[BadassNormal Brian]]- [[WallBanger Hugo is an alcoholic!]]
** She also knows why [[KeepCirculatingtheTapes it keeps being removed from FF.net]]- [[WallBanger it has "luv heart" dividers!]]

* {{Death is Cheap}}: Did your ShallowLoveInterest just croak on you? [[WallBanger Just revive him, with the help of]] [[strike: [[WallBanger Christianity!]]]] a satanic ritual!

* {{Fingore}}: [[WallBanger The only way to cure being homosexual according to Edward Secert.]] [[NightmareFuel Much worse stuff happens if you don't,]] [[WallBanger even if you aren't gay anymore.]]

** And the few that do go anywhere [[{{Anticlimax}} are resolved in the span of a few seconds.]] For example, Edward tells Joan he's a [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampire]], leading to a possibly interesting plotline about Joan being in a forbidden romance which conflicts with her faith [[ImaHumanitarian and risks her getting devoured.]] [[WallBanger But don't worry- Edward is a vegitarian and a Christian, so it's all good!]]

** [[{{Pokemon}} Pikachu]] is capable of possessing people. [[WallBanger Yeah right.]]

*** [[BeyondTheImpossible Now try to put it all together...]] Oh, and it's suppose to be [[{{Wallbanger}} TAKEN SERIOUSLY.]]

* {{My Girl is a Slut}}: [[MarySue Joan]] has [[AnythingThatMoves tried to get into every mans' pants at least once.]] [[WallBanger But, it isn't a sin when Joan does it- only everyone else.]]
** [[TheWoobie Jenny]] is accused of this when [[{{Jerkass}} Joan]] dreams of her and [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] together, but in a [[SubvertedTrope subversion]], there is no real hint of Jenny wanting Edward, [[WallBanger despite the fact that Joan is convinced]] [[{{Yandere}} and will kill her if it's the last thing she does.]]

*** Jacob getting [[ShockandAwe electricuted to death]], [[OurSoulsareDifferent having his soul ripped out to be punched by God]], and [[FireandBrimstoneHell being thrown into Hell.]] Why? [[WallBanger Because he is gay!]]

* {{Stalker With a Crush}}: After being told where [[ShallowLoveInterest Edward]] lives, Erin heads right over and barges into his territory. [[WallBanger But he smiles at her, and doesn't call the cops.]] [[SarcasmMode Awww, how sweet.]]

* [=~Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard~=]: [[SmallNameBigEgo Erin]] being dumped the first time by [[RelationshipSue Edward]] [[WallBanger "for being too sexy."]]

* {{Sympathetic Sue}}: After Joan [[ArmorPiercingSlap smacks]] [[TheWoobie Jenny]] and [[MurdertheHypotenuse plans to murder her]] as well as [[EnsembleDarkhorse Brian]] [[TakeThat so he can't be paired up with Mr. Smith anymore]], [[WallBanger we are expected to feel bad for HER and wish death on these two innocent people because she lost her boyfriend]]. Yup.

* {{This Is Wrong on So Many Levels}}: Erin [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever making incorrect interpretations of Bible quotes]] [[WallBanger and even making up her own Bible quotes.]]

--> "How could he dump me? DID he dump me? Leaving your girldriend after a talk like that I dunno. He had bean so mean...[[WallBanger He had just leafed me becorse I was hot.]] It was UNFARE!!!111 [[YouFailReligiousStudiesForever I wandered if this was how Jesus had felt being beetrayd by Jewdas.]]"

** [[CampGay Jacob]] in [[DudeNotFunny Edward Secert.]] He is [[ShockandAwe fried by lighting]] and [[FireandBrimstoneHell thrown headfirst into Hell]] [[WallBanger because he is a homosexual and won't permanently cut off his own finger to prove he is straight.]] [[FlatWhat Wait, what?]]

*** [[DieforOurShip Bella]], who was [[TheChewToy killed in]] [[SpinOff Twilight World]] [[WallBanger for finding love]], forced to have an abortion after [[YouFailBiologyForever magically becoming pregnant with James's (er,]] [[RougeAnglesofSatin Joms's]]) [[YouFailBiologyForever baby]] in [[{{SpinOff}} Bellas Baby]], and insulted by [[{{Jerkass}} Erin]] constantly.

** Heck, Erin pretty much only knows [[SelfInsertFic how to write herself.]] In her Bella stories, she often mixes up her own name with Bella's, and puts her words into the mouths of others, [[WallBanger including GOD.]]

--> 4: [[FanPreferredCouple Brian and Mr. Smith]] are not a homosexual couple. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Just because you're]] [[InformedFlaw an alcoholic]] [[{{Wallbanger}} doesn't mean you're gay]]!

* YouFailSexEdForever: [[WallBanger People become homosexual simply by looking at each other and "gaying" themselves up.]]
** Don't forget [[WallBanger Bella's magical potion abortion]] in [[TakeThat Bellas Baby.]]

* BileFascination

* BetterThanCanon: The snarkers' {{fanon}}.

* {{Anvilicious}}: The "marriage before sex" message... poor Ed is gonna have blue balls of death with all her massive cock teasing.

* AccidentalInnuendo: [[ShmuckBait You don't want to know.]] There's a lot of it, though.