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* BiTheWay:
-->'''(416)''': I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife

-->'''(570)''': I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.

-->'''(570)''': Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again\\
'''(1-570)''': Dibsssss

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* BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord:
-->'''(928):''' whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?


-->'''(484)''': She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.

to:

-->'''(484)''': She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.that.
-->'''(858)''': TURNS OUT [[UpToEleven they were both cheating]]. Like [[GiftOfTheMagiPlot The Gift of the Magi]], but for shitty people.

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* MisplacedWildlife:
-->'''(716)''': why is there a porcupine in the kitchen


-->(305): He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.\\
(1-305): Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?

to:

-->(305): -->'''(305)''': He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.\\
(1-305): '''(1-305)''': Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?

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* BrokenBird: Lampshaded with all the class one expects from a drunk person.
-->'''(262):''' But he's like a baby bird with a broken wing that I want to FUCK.


* CargoShip: One Miami conversation:
(305): He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.\\

to:

* CargoShip: One {{Invoked}} in one Miami conversation:
(305): -->(305): He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.\\

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* CargoShip: One Miami conversation:
(305): He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.\\
(1-305): Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?


'''(412)''': he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
'''(412)''': Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls

to:

'''(412)''': he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
question?\\
'''(412)''': Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girlsgirls\\

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'''(412)''': Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
'''(724)''': Dude, they all thought you were gay.


* ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime: So many times

to:

* ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime: So many timestimes.


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* LanguageBarrier:
-->'''(973):''' he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH

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* DrugsAreBad:
-->'''(404)''': he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
-->'''(440)''': Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
* DrugsAreGood:
-->'''(803)''': Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
-->'''(773)''': halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids


* BadAss: Quite a few.
--> '''(970)''': Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.


-->'''(817)''': : Last one there wins

to:

-->'''(817)''': : Last one there wins

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* RefugeInAudacity:
-->'''(423):''' We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.

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