History UsefulNotes / BDSM

Portraying a character’s interest in BDSM can be done in three different tones of voice: It can be portrayed as [[BrainsAndBondage something positive]], [[CasualKink something neutral]] (usually for comedic effect, toying with expected prejudices in the audience), or as [[BondageIsBad something negative and maybe “perverted”]]. Sometimes, people into BDSM gets the role of SubcultureOfTheWeek.

[[MathematiciansAnswer Fun.]]

But seriously, BDSM is a wide range of consensual activities that are either sexual or indirectly connected to sexuality.

A century later, these words had picked up some quite different and quite negative meanings. "Sadism" was used as a generic slur for being a malicious JerkAss or [[CompleteMonster utter monster]] who enjoys making others suffer, while "masochism" was used as a similar slur to brand people as self-destructive. A popular excuse for refusing to help victims of DomesticAbuse was to brand them "masochists", implying that they merely pretended to not enjoy the beatings, just to get attention. These days, these creepy secondary meanings are losing power as ''actual'' sadism and masochism is becoming more and more socially accepted.

Bondage means tying someone up, usually with ropes. Can also be with chains or whatever, or putting someone in a cage, or simply forbidding the person to move. The latter is sometimes categorized as Discipline.

If it is consensual but not sexual, it's just a game or something. If it is neither sexual nor consensual, it's kidnapping. If it's sexual but not consensual, it's kidnapping, sexual assault or both.

The sexualities currently categorized as BDSM are very old. Some of them probably older than mankind itself, since the instinct to dominate or submit is integrated into all social species. As for S & M, it's mentioned in the ancient Indian textbook Kama Sutra. Sexy ways of beating, scratching or biting each other gets a chapter each. Also, female dominance is mentioned in one chapter, as an interesting kink. Male dominance is not mentioned, since ancient India was patriarchal: Male dominance was taken for granted.

A century later, these words had picked up some quite different and quite negative meanings. "Sadism" was used as a generic slur for being a malicious JerkAss or utter monster who enjoys making others suffer, while "masochism" was used as a similar slur to brand people as self-destructive. A popular excuse for refusing to help victims of DomesticAbuse was to brand them "masochists", implying that they merely pretended to not enjoy the beatings, just to get attention. These days, these creepy secondary meanings are losing power as ''actual'' sadism and masochism is becoming more and more socially accepted.

Portraying a character’s interest in BDSM can be done in three different tones of voice: It can be portrayed as [[BrainsAndBondage something positive]], [[CasualKink something neutral]] (usually for comedic effect, toying with expected prejudices in the audience) or as [[BondageIsBad something negative and maybe “perverted”]]. Sometimes, people into BDSM gets the role of SubcultureOfTheWeek.

Also, the human brain tends to enjoy having its systems exercised. If our jobs don't include physical labor, we start going to the gym. We eat sour and bitter candy, in spite of those taste receptors originally evolving to warn us from spoiled or poisonous food. We don't like food that's ''that'' sour or bitter, but a bit of sourness or bitterness is good. Likewise, no one enjoys a hammer to the kneecaps - but some people do enjoy a spanking. Along this line, being used to a bit of pain can for some people make the bad kinds of pain more bearable.

Once upon a time, psychiatry believed that heterosexual intercourse within marriage was always a good thing, [[MaritalRapeLicense even if non-consensual]], while so-called "deviant" sexualities was inherently bad. Thankfully, this view is long since dead. In 1990, the psychiatric Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, known as DSM, finally stopped counting sadomasochism as being inherently bad. Before 1990, being a sexual sadist or masochist counted as having a mental disorder. After 1990, only sadistic rapists and self-destructive masochists are considered having a disorder - those who play SSC are now considered mentally healthy. There's also a lot of scientific research supporting the conclusion that the typical sadomasochist is not unhappy or destructive, and isn't immoral or unhealthy unless you declare BDSM to be immoral and unhealthy ''in itself''.

Portraying events as BDSM-sexy can be done in many ways. Three of the many tropes commonly used for this are RomanticizedAbuse, BoundAndGagged and SpankTheCutie.

BDSM can be a very successful bonding activity between people in a romantic relationship. This seems ass-backwards at first, but think about it. How much trust does it take to put your physical safety in your lover's hands? How much would you need to trust him or her (or them!) to let them tie you up and do ''whatever they wanted'' to you? And are you 100% sure you know what will happen? BDSM can be a way of finding out WhatYouAreInTheDark, so to speak. As such, it has the potential to [[GoneHorriblyWrong Go Horribly Wrong]], which brings us right back to the bonding thing: not only do you potentially find out just how much your partner respects you, but BDSM is best approached by two people who have already talked, ''a lot'', about what they like and want in a physical relationship. Just that amount of talking alone should teach you a fair deal about your partner. Discussing it at all can be very beneficial, even if you never take any steps into the scene.

BDSM can be a very successful bonding activity between people in a romantic relationship. This seems ass-backwards at first, but think about it. How much trust does it take to put your physical safety in your lover's hands? How much would you need to trust him or her (or them!) to let them tie you up and do ''whatever they wanted'' to you? And are you 100% sure you know what will happen? BDSM can be a way of finding out WhatYouAreInTheDark, so to speak. As such, it has the potential to [[GoneHorriblyWrong Go Gorribly Wrong]], which brings us right back to the bonding thing: not only do you potentially find out just how much your partner respects you, but BDSM is best approached by two people who have already talked, ''a lot'', about what they like and want in a physical relationship. Just that amount of talking alone should teach you a fair deal about your partner. Discussing it at all can be very beneficial, even if you never take any steps into the scene.

There are three different basic ways to handle BDSM in works: portraying a character or group as into BDSM; portraying events that are interesting or [[RuleOfSexy sexy]] in a BDSM [[{Fanservice}} way]], without necessarily being BDSM in the context of the work; and finally, portraying the dynamics and nuances for where various lines are drawn.

There are three different basic ways to handle BDSM in works: portraying a character or group as into BDSM; portraying events that are interesting or [[RuleOfSexy sexy]] in a BDSM [[PlayingToTheFetishes way]], without necessarily being BDSM in the context of the work; and finally, portraying the dynamics and nuances for where various lines are drawn.

BDSM can be a very successful bonding activity between people in a romantic relationship. This seems ass-backwards at first, but think about it. How much trust does it take to put your physical safety in your lover's hands? How much would you need to trust him or her (or them!) to let them tie you up and do ''whatever they wanted'' to you? And are you 100% sure you know what will happen? BDSM can be a way of finding out WhatYouAreInTheDark, so to speak. As such, it has the potential to GoHorriblyWrong, which brings us right back to the bonding thing: not only do you potentially find out just how much your partner respects you, but BDSM is best approached by two people who have already talked, ''a lot'', about what they like and want in a physical relationship. Just that amount of talking alone should teach you a fair deal about your partner. Discussing it at all can be very beneficial, even if you never take any steps into the scene.

This dominance & submission can be limited to a single scene, ranging in length between seconds and hours, or be more drawn out. Some people have this kind of dominance dynamics permanently integrated in their relationships. There are three main differences between this and gender roles. The first is that BDSM is gender neutral. The Dominant may be male or female, and may be hetero-, homo-, or bisexual. So may the submissive. The second difference is that they have this dynamic because they ''want'' to and ''choose'' to, not because they have been taught that "it's the way it's supposed to be". The third is that they have detailed options for what parts of their relationship is or isn't included in the dominance. For example, it's very common that the Dominant has no say over the submissive's professional life - especially since many sexual submissives are very dominant career people in their professional lives.

A masochist wants to experience pain - of the right kind, from the right person, in the right context. It can take the form of spankings, whippings, hot candle wax, or whatever. See also TooKinkyToTorture. If the person who provides these experiences is also enjoying the session, then this person is called a "sadist". These people typically combine their sadism with empathy and ethics, and are thus not dangerous or destructive in any way. However, a person who is a sexual sadist ''and'' a psychopath is [[TheSociopath an entirely different matter]].

Some people combine all three parts, while others pick only one or two. It's a smorgasbord. Some people are masochists without being submissive, while some people are submissive without wanting pain to be a part of the deal at all. Of the people who enjoy both D&S and S&M, some enjoy each of them in their own right, while others enjoy one and only use the other to reinforce the experience. Likewise, some people enjoy both being the dominant and being the submissive. This is often referred to as being a "switch". Others enjoy only one of the positions.

Generally speaking, BDSM is entirely free from risk of disease/infection and unwanted pregnancies, as long as you don't break the skin or combine it with intercourse. However, the people who practice it need to be careful with blood circulation, respiratory systems, and not hitting any vulnerable areas such as over the kidneys. Most importantly, don't use comic books and similar fiction as instruction manuals: See the CommonHollywoodSexTraits list.

Once upon a time, psychiatry believed that heterosexual intercourse within marriage was always a good thing, [[MaritalRapeLicense even if non-consensual]], while so-called "deviant" sexualities was inherently bad. However, this view is long since dead. In 1990, the psychiatric Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, known as DSM, finally stopped counting sadomasochism as being inherently bad. Before 1990, being a sexual sadist or masochist counted as having a mental disorder. After 1990, only sadistic rapists and self-destructive masochists are considered having a disorder - those who play SSC are now considered mentally healthy. There's also a lot of scientific research supporting the conclusion that the typical sadomasochist is not unhappy or destructive, and isn't immoral or unhealthy unless you declare BDSM to be immoral and unhealthy ''in itself''.

The words Sadism and Masochism was originally only about the sexual variations included in BDSM. The words was invented by the 19th century sexologist Kraft-Ebing. He derived the names from the MarquisDeSade and Leopold von Sasher-Masoch, two aristocrats who were both authors of sadomasochistic pornography. Sade wrote satires with a heavy dose of AuthorAppeal where he portrayed the authorities as horny hypocrites who oppressed the population, while Masoch wrote about [[Literature/VenusInFurs his romantic desire to be dominated by a woman]]. Both authors use the trick mentioned in the GettingCrapPastTheRadar part of DoNotDoThisCoolThing. Masoch plays it straight, with his character Severin changing his ways by the end of the book. Sade inverts it for maximum cynicism, with the innocent and morally upstanding Justine getting put through hell while the pragmatic Juliette manages to make a good life for herself.

The words Sadism and Masochism was originally only about the sexual variations included in BDSM. The words was invented by the 19th century sexologist Kraft-Ebing. He derived the names from the MarquisDeSade and Leopold von Sasher-Masoch, two aristocrats who were both authors of sadomasochistic pornography. Sade wrote satires with a heavy dose of AuthorAppeal where he portrayed the authorities as horny hypocrites who oppressed the population, while Masoch wrote about [[VenusInFurs his romantic desire to be dominated by a woman]]. Both authors use the trick mentioned in the GettingCrapPastTheRadar part of DoNotDoThisCoolThing. Masoch plays it straight, with his character Severin changing his ways by the end of the book. Sade inverts it for maximum cynicism, with the innocent and morally upstanding Justine getting put through hell while the pragmatic Juliette manages to make a good life for herself.

Portraying a character’s interest in BDSM can be done in three different tones of voice: It can be portrayed as [[BrainsAndBondage something positive]], [[CasualKink something neutral]] (usually for comedic effect, toying with expected prejudices in the audience) or as [[BondageIsBad something negative and maybe “perverted”]]. Sometimes, people into BDSM gets the role of SickSadSubcultureOfTheWeek.

Portraying a character’s interest in BDSM can be done in three different tones of voice: It can be portrayed as [[BrainsAndBondage something positive]], [[CasualKink something neutral]] (usually for comedic effect, toying with expected prejudices in the audience) or as [[BondageIsBad something negative and maybe “perverted”]]. Sometimes, people into BDSM gets the role of ExotifiedSubcultureOfTheWeek.

The words Sadism and Masochism was originally only about the sexual variations included in BDSM. The words was invented by the 19th century sexologist Kraft-Ebing. He derived the names from the MarquisDeSade and Leopold von Sasher-Masoch, two aristocrats who were both authors of sadomasochistic pornography. Sade wrote satires with a heavy dose of AuthorAppeal where he portrayed the authorities as horny hypocrites who oppressed the population, while Masoch wrote about [[VenusInFurs his romantic desire to be dominated by a woman]]. Both authors use the trick mentioned in the GettingCrapPastTheRadar part of DoNotDoThisCoolThing. Masoch plays it straight, with his character Severin changing his ways by the end of the book. De Sade inverts it for maximum cynicism, with the innocent and morally upstanding getting put through hell while the pragmatic Juliette manage to make a good life for herself.

A century later, these words had picked up some quite different and quite negative meanings. "Sadism" was used as a generic slur for being a malicious JerkAss, while "masochism" was used as a similar slur to brand people as self-destructive. A popular excuse for refusing to help victims of DomesticAbuse was to brand them "masochists", implying that they merely pretended to not enjoy the beatings, just to get attention. These days, these creepy secondary meanings are losing power as ''actual'' sadism and masochism is becoming more and more socially accepted.

Generally speaking, BDSM is entirely free from risk of disease/infection and unwanted pregnancies, as long as you don't break the skin or combine it with intercourse. However, the people who practice it need to be careful with blood circulation, respiratory systems, and not hitting any vulnerable areas such as over the kidneys. Most importantly, don't use comic books and similar fiction as instruction manuals: See the CommonHollywoodSexTraits list.

If it is consensual but not sexual, it's just a game or something. If it is neither sexual nor consensual, it's kidnapping. If it's sexual but not consensual, it's kidnapping or sexual assault or both.

Some people combine all three parts, while others pick only one or two. It's a smorgasbord. Some people are masochists without being submissive, while some people are submissive without wanting pain to be a part of the deal at all. Of the people who enjoy both D&S and S&M, some enjoy each of them in their own right, while others enjoy one and only use the other to reinforce the experience. Likewise, some people enjoy both being the dominant and being the submissive. This is often referred to as being a "switch". Others enjoy only one of the positions.

The words Sadism and Masochism was originally only about the sexual variations included in BDSM. The words was invented by the 19th century sexologist Kraft-Ebing. He derived the names from Marquis De Sade and Leopold von Sasher-Masoch, two aristocrats who were both authors of sadomasochistic pornography. De Sade wrote satires with a heavy dose of AuthorAppeal where he portrayed the authorities as horny hypocrites who oppressed the population, while Masoch wrote about his romantic desire to be dominated by a woman. Both authors use the trick mentioned in the GettingCrapPastTheRadar part of DoNotDoThisCoolThing. Masoch plays it straight, with his character Severin changing his ways by the end of the book. De Sade inverts it for maximum cynicism, with the innocent and morally upstanding getting put through hell while the pragmatic Juliette manage to make a good life for herself.

Most of it is covered under the useful notes page on UsefulNotes/{{Consent}}. However, safety is a huge field that is not covered there and will not be sufficiently covered here either. If you are interested, read [[http://www.amazon.com/Screw-Roses-Send-Thorns-Sadomasochism/dp/0964596008/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1307744116&sr=8-1 a book]] or two.

There are three different basic ways to handle BDSM in works: portraying a character or group as into BDSM, portraying events that are interesting or [[RuleOfSexy sexy]] in a BDSM [[PlayingToTheFetishes way]], without necessarily being BDSM in the context of the work, and finally, portraying the dynamics and nuances for where various lines are drawn.

Once upon a time, psychiatry believed that heterosexual intercourse within marriage was always a good thing, [[MaritalRapeLicense even if non-consensual]], while so-called "deviant" sexualities was inherently bad. However, this view is long since dead. In 1990, the psychiatric Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, known as DSM, finally stopped counting sadomasochism as being inherently bad. Before 1990, being a sexual sadist or masochist counted as having a mental disorder. After 1990, only sadistic rapists and self-destructive masochists are considered having a disorder - those who play SSC are now considered mentally healthy. There's also a lot of scientific research supporting the conclusion that the typical sadomasochist is not unhappy or destructive, and isn't immoral or unhealthy unless you declare BDSM to be immoral and unhealthy ''in itself''.

The words Sadism and Masochism was originally only about the sexual variations included in BDSM. The words was invented by the 19th century sexologist Kraft-Ebing. He derived the names from Marquis De Sade and Leopold von Sasher-Masoch, two aristocrats who were both authors of sadomasochistic pornography. De Sade wrote satires with a heavy dose of AuthorAppeal where he portrayed the authorities as horny hypocrites who oppressed the population, while Masoch wrote about his romantic desire to be dominated by a woman. Both authors use the trick mentioned in the GettingCrapPastTheRadar part of DoNotDoThisCoolThing. Masoch plays it straight, with his character Severin changing his ways by the end of the book. De Sade inverts it for maximum cynicism, with the innocent and morally upstanding getting put trough hell while the pragmatic Juliette manage to make a good life for herself.

A masochist wants to experience pain - of the right kind, from the right person, in the right context. It can take the form of spankings, whippings, hot candle wax, or whatever. See also TooKinkyToTorture. If the person who provides these experiences is also enjoying the session, then this person is called a "sadist". These people typically combine their sadism with empathy and ethics, and are thus not dangerous or destructive in any way. However, a person who is a sexual sadist ''and'' a psychopath is an entirely different matter.

A masochist wants to experience pain - of the right kind, from the right person, in the right context. It can take the form of spankings, whippings, hot candle wax, or whatever. See also TooKinkyToTorture. If the person who provides these experiences is also enjoying the session, then this person is called a "sadist". These people typically combine their sadism with empathy and ethics, and are thus not dangerous or destructive in any way. However, a person who is a sexual sadist ''and'' a psychopath is [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel an entirely different matter]].

A masochist wants to experience pain - of the right kind, from the right person, in the right context. It can take the form of spankings, whippings, hot candle wax, or whatever. See also TooKinkyToTorture. If the person who provides these experiences is also enjoying the session, then this person is called a "sadist". These people typically combine their sadism with empathy and ethics, and are thus not dangerous or destructive in any way. However, a person who is a sexual sadist ''and'' a psychopath is an entirely different matter.

A masochist wants to experience pain - of the right kind, from the right person, in the right context. It can take the form of spankings, whippings, hot candle wax, or whatever. See also TooKinkyToTorture. If the person who provides these experiences is also enjoying the session, then this person is called a "sadist". These people typically combine their sadism with empathy and ethics, and are thus not dangerous or destructive in any way. However, a person who is a sexual sadist ''and'' a psychopath is [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel an entirely different matter]].

Portraying events as BDSM-sexy can be done in many ways. Three of the many tropes commonly used for this are AbusivelySexy, BoundAndGagged and SpankTheCutie.

This dominance & submission can be limited to a single scene, ranging in length between seconds and hours, or be more drawn out. Some people have this kind of dominance dynamics permanently integrated in their relationships. There are three main differences between this and patriarchal gender roles. The first is that BDSM is gender neutral. The Dominant may be male or female, and may be hetero-, homo-, or bisexual. So may the submissive. The second difference is that they have this dynamic because they ''want'' to and ''choose'' to, not because they have been taught that "it's the way it's supposed to be". The third is that they have detailed options for what parts of their relationship is or isn't included in the dominance. For example, it's very common that the Dominant has no say over the submissive's professional life - especially since many sexual submissives are very dominant career people in their professional lives.

A masochist wants to experience pain - of the right kind, from the right person, in the right context. It can take the form of spankings, whippings, hot candle wax, or whatever. If the person who provides these experiences is also enjoying the session, then this person is called a "sadist". These people typically combine their sadism with empathy and ethics, and are thus not dangerous or destructive in any way. However, a person who is a sexual sadist ''and'' a psychopath is [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel an entirely different matter]].

!! So, this whole thing about {{SSC}}...?

BDSM is a wide range of consensual activities that are either sexual or indirectly connected to sexuality.

The words Sadism and Masochism was originally only about the sexual variations included in BDSM. The words was invented by the 19th century sexologist Kraft-Ebing. He derived the names from Marquis De Sade and Leopold von Sasher-Masoch, two aristocrats who were both authors of sadomasochistic pornography. De Sade wrote satires with a heavy dose of AuthorAppeal where he portrayed the authorities as horny hypocrites who oppressed the population, while Masoch wrote about his romantic desire to be dominated by a woman. Both authors use the trick mentioned in the GettingCrapPastTheRadar part of TruffautWasRight. Masoch plays it straight, with his character Severin changing his ways by the end of the book. De Sade inverts it for maximum cynicism, with the innocent and morally upstanding getting put trough hell while the pragmatic Juliette manage to make a good life for herself.