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->''"Now, I'm not a military genius, but if I saw one of my buddies run around a corner and get shot, then saw another one run around the corner and get shot, I don't think I'd run around that same corner.''"
-->-- '''[[HalfLife Gordon Freeman]]''', ''FreemansMind''
-->-- '''[[HalfLife Gordon Freeman]]''', ''FreemansMind''
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->"The game still introduces all that business of hidden agendas and warns you to get an extra special close eye on those crafty partners of yours, but the A.I. don't go after collectibles. They usually just stand there staring at you with gormless, uncomprehending eyes. They were also never programmed to drive, so in the occasional vehicle section if you perhaps would rather take riding shotgun to its literal heart, then fuck you and your haughty airs. The A.I. will pile into the backseat without a word and just look at you like a dog with its leash in its mouth. And as I said, they can't aim for shit. But after you've single-handedly cleared out an entire room, they'll unfailingly say the one of their four or five endlessly repeated lines that goes 'You don't have to do this all by yourself, you know!' '''There is no middle finger big enough!'''"
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', Call of Juarez
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', Call of Juarez
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-->--'''Your teammates''' in ''SWAT 4''. '''All the fucking time'''.
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-->--'''Your teammates''' in ''SWAT 4''.''VideoGame/{{SWAT 4}}''. '''All the fucking time'''.
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-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''ResidentEvil5''
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-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''ResidentEvil5''
''VideoGame/ResidentEvil5''
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-->--VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}, GLaDOS
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-->--'''{{Raocow}}''', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGUmtlBGWpg&t=4m33s VVVVVV - 6 - ------]][[hottip:*:In this case, however, the challenge was actually [[ExploitedTrope based around the AI's stupidity.]]
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->"For a while, I let [Sheva] carry the healing items because I needed the inventory space for grenades and pipe wrenches and dumbbells and other manly things; but she couldn't be trusted with ''that'', either. She'd waste entire health sprays on me if I so much as stood on a thumbtack. I appreciate the sentiment, but you're not my fucking mum, woman! One time I was low on health - but not too low - and was about to use a small herb to keep myself going when I saw my partner coming towards me brandishing '''[[TooAwesomeToUse a valuable large herb]]''', and when ''[[TheMillstone you're running away from your support character with more desperate terror than you feel for any of the actual monsters]]'', something has definitely gone wrong somewhere. My advice is to get someone to play co-op with you any way you can. If you live alone, kidnap a hobo or train your dog extremely well, ''anything.''"
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->"For a while, I let [Sheva] carry the healing items because I needed the inventory space for grenades and pipe wrenches and dumbbells and other manly things; but she couldn't be trusted with ''that'', either. She'd waste entire health sprays on me if I so much as stood on a thumbtack. I appreciate the sentiment, but you're not my fucking mum, woman! One time I was low on health - but not too low - and was about to use a small herb to keep myself going when I saw my partner coming towards me brandishing '''[[TooAwesomeToUse a valuable large herb]]''', and when [[StopHelpingMe you're running away from your support character with more desperate terror than you feel for any of the actual monsters]], something has definitely gone wrong somewhere. My advice is to get someone to play co-op with you any way you can. If you live alone, kidnap a hobo or train your dog extremely well, ''anything.''"
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->"For a while, I let [Sheva] carry the healing items because I needed the inventory space for grenades and pipe wrenches and dumbbells and other manly things; but she couldn't be trusted with ''that'', either. She'd waste entire health sprays on me if I so much as stood on a thumbtack. I appreciate the sentiment, but you're not my fucking mum, woman! One time I was low on health - but not too low - and was about to use a small herb to keep myself going when I saw my partner coming towards me brandishing '''[[TooAwesomeToUse a valuable large herb]]''', and when [[StopHelpingMe ''[[TheMillstone you're running away from your support character with more desperate terror than you feel for any of the actual monsters]], monsters]]'', something has definitely gone wrong somewhere. My advice is to get someone to play co-op with you any way you can. If you live alone, kidnap a hobo or train your dog extremely well, ''anything.''"
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->"For a while, I let [Sheva] carry the healing items because I needed the inventory space for grenades and pipe wrenches and dumbbells and other manly things; but she couldn't be trusted with ''that'', either. She'd waste entire health sprays on me if I so much as stood on a thumbtack. I appreciate the sentiment, but you're not my fucking mum, woman! One time I was low on health - but not too low - and was about to use a small herb to keep myself going when I saw my partner coming towards me brandishing '''[[TooAwesomeToUse a valuable large herb]]''', and when [[StopHelpingMe you're running away from your support character with more desperate terror than you feel for any of the actual monsters]], something has definitely gone wrong somewhere. My advice is to get someone to play co-op with you any way you can. If you live alone, kidnap a hobo or train your dog extremely well, ''anything.''"
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''ResidentEvil5''
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''', ''ResidentEvil5''
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->[screenshot: enemy [[FragileSpeedster Myrmidon]] advancing on [[CrutchCharacter Titania]]]
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->[screenshot: enemy [[FragileSpeedster Myrmidon]] advancing on [[CrutchCharacter [[MightyGlacier Titania]]]
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->''This is not so much a puzzle as [[EscortMission [the NPC you're supposed to guide]]] being a friggin' moron. Like, [[InformedAttribute you're a professor of]] ''what'', exactly?''
-->--'''{{Raocow}}''', [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGUmtlBGWpg&t=4m33s VVVVVV - 6 - ------]][[hottip:*:In this case, however, the challenge was actually [[ExploitedTrope based around the AI's stupidity.]]
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-->--TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy
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----
<<|QuotesWiki|>>
<<|QuotesWiki|>>
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<<|QuotesWiki|>>
'''Nopileos:''' Rrrr... do they do that?\\
'''Yayandas:''' [[MythologyGag So one hears...]]
--> -- ''[[VideoGame/{{X}} Farnham's Legend]]''
----
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
->Well, [[WasItReallyWorthIt I hope it was worth it]]. Seriously though, VideoGame/FireEmblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his. [[TooDumbToLive He does not survive]].
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->Well, [[WasItReallyWorthIt I hope it was worth it]]. Seriously though, VideoGame/FireEmblem Franchise/FireEmblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his. [[TooDumbToLive He does not survive]].
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
->Well, [[WasItReallyWorthIt I hope it was worth it]]. Seriously though, VideoGame/FireEmblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his.
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->Well, [[WasItReallyWorthIt I hope it was worth it]]. Seriously though, VideoGame/FireEmblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his. [[TooDumbToLive He does not survive]].
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
->Well, I hope it was worth it. Seriously though, VideoGame/FireEmblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his.
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->Well, [[WasItReallyWorthIt I hope it was worth it.it]]. Seriously though, VideoGame/FireEmblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his.
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->Well, I hope it was worth it. Seriously though, Fire Emblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his.
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->Well, I hope it was worth it. Seriously though, Fire Emblem VideoGame/FireEmblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his.
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->Just for posterity, here's what Titania can do. We don't actually do this; instead we just have her stand next to Oscar and wall. She's so powerful that she'll dissuade the enemy from-
->[screenshot: enemy [[FragileSpeedster Myrmidon]] advancing on [[CrutchCharacter Titania]]]
->Er.
->[screenshot: enemy Myrmidon dealing zero damage]
->Well, I hope it was worth it. Seriously though, Fire Emblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his.
-->{{Lets Play}}er Fedule [[http://lparchive.org/Fire-Emblem-Path-of-Radiance/Update%2003/]]
->[screenshot: enemy [[FragileSpeedster Myrmidon]] advancing on [[CrutchCharacter Titania]]]
->Er.
->[screenshot: enemy Myrmidon dealing zero damage]
->Well, I hope it was worth it. Seriously though, Fire Emblem AI does ''have'' priorities, but sometimes it just completely fails to grasp the magnitude of certain factors with respect to risk. Like this guy - he was all "Oh! She's an axe user... and I'm a sword user! STRATEGY!", and completely missed the fact that all her stats are double his.
-->{{Lets Play}}er Fedule [[http://lparchive.org/Fire-Emblem-Path-of-Radiance/Update%2003/]]
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
->''"All the bad guys know how to do is fly directly at you and fire. Actually, I'm not even sure they know how to do ''that''. As an experiment, I went out to a navpoint with a single pirate, parked my ship, zero speed, stood up from the computer, and let the pirate attack my unmoving, ''completely defenseless'' ship. And do you know how long it took for that pirate to finally kill me? Neither do I, because he couldn't. Fucking. Do it. [...] Congratulations, guys! Your enemy AI is less effective than the fucking UFO in Asteroids!"''
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->''"All the bad guys know how to do is fly directly at you and fire. Actually, I'm not even sure they know how to do ''that''. As an experiment, I went out to a navpoint with a single pirate, parked my ship, zero speed, stood up from the computer, and let the pirate attack my unmoving, ''completely defenseless'' ship. And do you know how long it took for that pirate to finally kill me? Neither do I, because he couldn't. Fucking. Do it. [...] Congratulations, guys! Your enemy AI is less effective than the fucking UFO in Asteroids!"''''{{Asteroids}}''!"''
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->''"All the bad guys know how to do is fly directly at you and fire. Actually, I'm not even sure they know how to do ''that''. As an experiment, I went out to a navpoint with a single pirate, parked my ship, zero speed, stood up from the computer, and let the pirate attack my unmoving, ''completely defenseless'' ship. And do you know how long it took for that pirate to finally kill me? Neither do I, because he couldn't, fucking, do it."''
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->''"All the bad guys know how to do is fly directly at you and fire. Actually, I'm not even sure they know how to do ''that''. As an experiment, I went out to a navpoint with a single pirate, parked my ship, zero speed, stood up from the computer, and let the pirate attack my unmoving, ''completely defenseless'' ship. And do you know how long it took for that pirate to finally kill me? Neither do I, because he couldn't, fucking, do it."''couldn't. Fucking. Do it. [...] Congratulations, guys! Your enemy AI is less effective than the fucking UFO in Asteroids!"''
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-->--[[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]] on [[http://spoonyexperiment.com/2010/03/25/privateer-2-the-darkening-review/ Privateer 2: The Darkening]]
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-->--Tallest Purple, introducing [[CloudCuckoolander GIR]], ''InvaderZim''
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-->--Tallest Purple, introducing [[CloudCuckoolander GIR]], ''InvaderZim''
''WesternAnimation/InvaderZim''
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-->--[[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]], LetsPlay Swat 4.
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->--[[http://www.cracked.com/article_16247_the-10-most-terrifying-video-game-enemies-all-time.html Cyriaque Lamar on ''Doom'']], {{Cracked}}
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->--[[http://www.cracked.com/article_16247_the-10-most-terrifying-video-game-enemies-all-time.html Cyriaque Lamar on ''Doom'']], {{Cracked}}
Website/{{Cracked}}
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-->--{{Portal2}}, GLaDOS
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the moron in question is a robot
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->''"He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived."''
-->--{{Portal2}}, GLaDOS
-->--{{Portal2}}, GLaDOS
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->''"All the bad guys know how to do is fly directly at you and fire. Actually, I'm not even sure they know how to do ''that''. As an experiment, I went out to a navpoint with a single pirate, parked my ship, zero speed, stood up from the computer, and let the pirate attack my unmoving, ''completely defenseless'' ship. And do you know how long it took for that pirate to finally kill me? Neither do I, because he couldn't, fucking, do it."''
-->--[[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]] on [[http://spoonyexperiment.com/2010/03/25/privateer-2-the-darkening-review/ Privateer 2: The Darkening]]
-->--[[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]] on [[http://spoonyexperiment.com/2010/03/25/privateer-2-the-darkening-review/ Privateer 2: The Darkening]]
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-->--[[{{ptitlegvx5tm34k7kq}} Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]]
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-->--''DoctorWho''
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->"The problem with computers is that they're very sophisticated idiots."
-->--''DoctorWho''
-->--''DoctorWho''
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->"When the 'Drink' button is pressed it makes an instant but highly detailed examination of the subject's taste buds, a spectroscopic analysis of the subject's metabolism, and then sends tiny experimental signals down the neural pathways to the taste centres of the subject's brain to see what is likely to be well received. However, no-one knows quite why it does this because it then invariably delivers a cupful of liquid that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea."
-->--[[{{ptitlegvx5tm34k7kq}} Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy]]
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->''"That's not artifical intelligence, that's ''common fucking sense''!"''
-->--[[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]], LetsPlay Swat 4.
-->--[[TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]], LetsPlay Swat 4.
