History Narm / Literature

--> ''Dennagon trudged through the grass, his noggin aching.''

--> ''Dennagon felt like taking a dump. Luckily, he hadn’t any fecal matter left in his stomach.''

* ''Literature/IslandInTheSeaOfTime'' has a scene in which TheQuisling Pamela Lisketter and her dimwitted brother raid the library in order to kidnap Martha Cofflin. Marian Alston happens to be there and naturally tries to intervene, and just to put the scare into the two idiots, she decides to slip into her native Georgia accent. The unfortunate results make her sound more like Pogo Possum than a [[ScaryBlackMan scary black woman]]. You'd think the fact that she's wielding a goddamn ''katana'' would be enough to scare the two moronic white liberals...

* There's a heartwarming story called ''The Dog of Pompeii'' about a dog who helps a blind boy to escape from the explosion of Mount Vesuvius. Unfortunately, it's a bit hard to take seriously in the modern day because the boy is named Tito and his dog is called Bimbo.
* ''Literature/TheMortalInstruments'': It can be rather hard for a reader to take a villain named "Valentine" seriously.

** A common criticism about the dialogue, which is flowery and grandiose. Others like it for the same reasons.
** Their date in Amsterdam is very...romanticized, possibly owing to the author's own love for the city.

* The death of Little Nell in Creator/CharlesDickens' ''Literature/TheOldCuriosityShop'' has been mocked for decades afterwards for its PurpleProse. Creator/OscarWilde commented back in the 1800s that "one must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without [[{{Narm}} laughing]]" and as recently as 2005 the pop sci-fi romp ''Series/DoctorWho'' mocked the scene by having the protagonist call Little Nell's death hilarious to Dickens' face.

** The reason Puddleglum has that moment also qualifies. The Green Witch was attempting to [[{{Brainwashed}} make the characters forget that the surface is real]]. This involves her asking for every magnificent surface concept, "Please, what is this [insert concept here]?" ''Over and over and over.''

* There is an AllegedlyTrueStory about [[DelicateAndSickly a girl who died from AIDS]], which she caught when her boyfriend raped her. The tagline is something along the lines of "[[ScareEmStraight She thought she had found love... and she lost her life to AIDS]]." But the true Narm is in the title (cue scary music): ''It Happened to Nancy''. So it can happen to you!

* There is a "True Story" about [[IllGirl a girl who died from AIDS]], which she caught when her boyfriend raped her. The tagline is something along the lines of "[[ScareEmStraight She thought she had found love... and she lost her life to AIDS]]." But the true Narm is in the title (cue scary music): ''It Happened to Nancy''. So it can happen to you!

** The high priest of Helgrind resembles a certain [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail Black Knight]]. It's a miracle that he didn't shout, "It's just a flesh wound!" Then again, the description is also similar to how DarthWiki/DarthVader looked under all that armour.

** The ludicrous AlternateCalendar. Instead of being normal and calling a day a day, the book [[InsistentTerminology insists on calling it]] an "epoch". That in itself is Narm, but wait, there's more! Nine epochs make up one "cycle", four cycles make up one [[YouKeepUsingThatWord "apogee"]] and fifteen apogees make up one... [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign zapato]]. Yes, really. The book's equivalent to a year has a name that means "shoe", for God's sake...

* Literature/LesMiserables is truly great, but the description of Javert's appearance (looking like the dog-son of a wolf) makes him sound a bit like a werewolf, which is pretty funny. [[RelationshipWritingFumble There are other cases where Hugo chooses poorly-thought-out descriptions,]] creating (most likely unintentional) romantic subtext between Valjean and Javert, which results in [[{{Narm}} N'arm]].

* ''Literature/TheEyeOfArgon'' is made in its entirety of pure, distilled, highly concentrated {{Narm}}. Imagine PurpleProse combined with DelusionsOfEloquence and all the worst [[HeroicFantasy Sword And Sorcery]] clichés you can think of, and you'll barely have scratched the surface. Suffice to say, it's a common parlor game at SF conventions to see who can read it aloud the longest before [[{{Corpsing}} breaking up into fits of laughter]].

-->-- '''Creator/OscarWilde''', mocking Creator/CharlesDickens' ''The Old Curiosity Shop''

* There is a book called ''Literature/DancingWithAnAlien'' about an alien sent to Earth to find love. (The book was clearly counting on attracting the readers of ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''). It includes the line, "[[MarsNeedsWomen I am here to find a female]]". The book as a whole is chock full of high octane narm.

* ''Literature/TheLotteryRose'' features a climactic scene where a young mentally handicapped boy is drowned when he goes out to the lake to feed the ducks unsupervised, is overwhelmed when they quickly form a demanding mob and falls in. At least, that's what the author intended; as written, it's very easy to get the impression that he dies merely from the ducks' attack, which doesn't exactly inspire gasps of horror. Special mention for the use of the phrase "Their hungry quacking" for creepy build-up.

** If you know actual Arabic, the AsLongAsItSoundsForeign name of Abdul Alhazred is actually [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment redundant]]. "Abdul" means "Servant/Slave of the". So if "Hazred" meant anything besides being a misspelling of "Hazard", than "Abdul Alhazred" would mean "Slave of the the Hazardous." Anything that has two definite articles comes off a little Narmy.

* The Contemporary English Version (of Literature/TheBible)'s translation of [[Literature/TheFourGospels Mark 5:9]] (often translated as "My name is [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Legion]], for we are many") takes that verse and turns it from ominous and chilling to juvenile and silly. How does this edition render the demon's boast? "My name is [[FailOSuckyName Lots]], because there are lots of demons in me."

** A character's name is [[UnfortunateNames Dickon Manwoody]]. Thankfully, he doesn't become a main character, but it's still pretty hard to take scenes he's in seriously.

* ''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey'':
** The inner goddess and the subconscious. Made even worse by the fact that they are never actually addressed in any way. We are supposed to accept that Ana expresses most of her emotions via characters who are basically an angel and a devil sitting on her shoulder.
** Ana's very liberal use of "jeez", "holy crap/moses/cow", and "oh my". Kills every sex scene instantly.
** '"You. Are. So. Sweet,” he murmurs, each word a staccato.''

->''"[The Deerslayer's] pathos is funny."''
-->-- '''Creator/MarkTwain''', "Literature/FenimoreCoopersLiteraryOffences"

** The scene in ''Brisingr'' in which Roran stands dramatically [[AtopAMountainOfCorpses on top of a 20-foot-tall stack of the bodies of 193 men he had defeated]]. His only stated regret was that there were not enough foes for an even two hundred. While this may suggest [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation even worse disturbing sociopathy than Eragon's]] while [[CharacterDerailment not gelling with how he's been characterized before]], the scene imagined was so ludicrous that it was hilarious.

* ''The Lottery Rose'' features a climactic scene where a young mentally handicapped boy is drowned when he goes out to the lake to feed the ducks unsupervised, is overwhelmed when they quickly form a demanding mob and falls in. At least, that's what the author intended; as written, it's very easy to get the impression that he dies merely from the ducks' attack, which doesn't exactly inspire gasps of horror. Special mention for the use of the phrase "Their hungry quacking" for creepy build-up.

%%* The ending of Ben Elton's ''Chart Throb''. Very disappointing in its narm.
* There is a book called ''Dancing with an Alien'' about an alien sent to Earth to find love. (The book was clearly counting on attracting the readers of ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''). It includes the line, "[[MarsNeedsWomen I am here to find a female]]". The book as a whole is chock full of high octane narm.

-->"You have cut my heart with your sword,
-->"Bryan Dragon Lankford!"

In the first book of ''Literature/LeftBehind'', the series' [[TheAntichrist Antichrist]] figure makes a speech to the UsefulNotes/UnitedNations that we are [[ShowDontTell explicitly told]] is "powerful" and "moving," enough for the delegates to stand up cheering and to put humanity under his spell for his New World Order. The speech, however, reads like a schoolchild giving a class report on the UN, during which he lists every member state of the United Nations in alphabetical order... [[MundaneMadeAwesome dramatically]]. The Slacktivist, [[http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2007/01/19/lb-boutros-boutros-carpathia-2/ critiquing this scene]] in his blog, challenges the reader to do this without laughing. Arguably, the point of the scene is to show that the Antichrist is using mind control on those listening, so that they applaud something any normal person ''would'' laugh at. The problem is that even if this were true, the text ''still'' gives the impression the authors meant the speech to be a good one. When a blog commenter[[labelnote:who?]]Calum Cameron in the Slacktivist link above[[/labelnote]] can write a more convincing version off the top of their head, you know something's gone wrong.

** A king is named Abaddon, which is also the name of a character from the ''Literature/MaradoniaSaga''.