History Main / HurricaneOfEuphemisms

* ''VideoGame/TheThaumaturge'': After Rasputin leaves the Szulski home, Ligia complains that Wiktor's activities since returning to Warsaw have caused several unusual things to happen, including "ladies of the night" hanging around the house near the windows. If Wiktor asks who they are, Ligia frustratedly clarifies:

** In "The Cakes", Mittens peevishly puts forth a blizzard of euphemisms for doing a bowel movement in Creator/MontyPython “Dead-parrot-sketch” fashion. Her litter box is located in the laundry room, and Bolt [[ComicallyMissingThePoint misunderstands her initial veiled explanations regarding why she was there]]. Once the dog finally figures things out, he supplies an unusual contribution of his own.
** In "The Kippies", Mittens offers several increasingly eccentric euphemisms to point out that Bolt cannot get her pregnant.

* "Drinkin' On The Job" by The Rainmakers features numerous occupation-related euphemisms for being drunk -- "The garbageman got trashed, the janitor got messy" -- and the final verse adds a related theme:
-->The terorist got bombed

* The WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd goes into a tirade when he pronounces ''VideoGame/{{Seaman}}'' as "semen" twice.

->''"It's not pining, it's passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ''ceased'' to ''be!'' It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This. Is a ''late. Parrot!'' It's a ''stiff!'' Bereft of life, it rests in peace, if you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies! ''It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible!'' '''This! Is an EX! PARROT!'''"''
-->-- '''Mr. Praline''', ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'', The Parrot Sketch[[note]][[DontExplainTheJoke (He means it's dead.)]][[/note]]

* A ''Radio/JohnFinnemoresSouvenirProgramme'' skit had someone warning John that his new employee was, well, John never figured that out, but euphemisms for it included "He parts his hair in the middle" and "He wouldn't thank you for punching him in the face", among many others. John said he wouldn't thank someone for punching him in the face either, and the other guy said that in ''that'' case, he was sure they'd get on very well.

* In "House of Fun" by Music/{{Madness}}, the song's narrator, attempting to buy condoms in anticipation of losing his virginity on his sixteenth birthday [[note]]16 is the age of consent in Britain, from which the song originates.[[/note]], asks for "a box of balloons with the featherlight touch", "pack of party-poppers that pop in the night" and "a pack of party hats with the coloured tips". The bemused assistant responds "This is a chemist, not a joke shop".

* In ''[[http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/works/767514 The Glow of Gold Dust]]'' Harry's bitten by a vampire Veela.
-->'''Draco:''' Semen is your life-saving nutrition. Because of the treatment we've been providing for you, you've had no immediate need for it up till now, but as the treatment progresses, you will soon start to need the nourishment.\\
'''Harry:''' Semen? Excuse me? What are you saying?\\
'''Draco:''' Semen, come, jism, spunk, the elixir of love, love juice, whatever you want to call it.

* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10623866/10/Sekirei-Is-that-some-new-species-of-little-sister Sekirei? Is that some new species of little Sister?]]'':
** After Naruto has sex with Kazehana, he and Uzume trade euphemisms for sex.
--->'''Uzume:''' You boinked her, didn't you big bro?"\\
'''Naruto:''' Mounted her like a mule.\\
'''Uzume:''' Did the no pants dance.\\
'''Naruto:''' Fed the kitty.\\
'''Uzume:''' Swept the chimney.\\
'''Naruto:''' Checked the oil.\\
'''Uzume:''' Tested the suspension.\\
'''Naruto:''' Filled the cream donut.\\
'''Uzume:''' Made the beast with two backs.\\
'''Naruto:''' Stuffed the beaver.\\
'''Uzume:''' Did the horizontal hula.\\
'''Naruto:''' Attacked the pink fortress.\\
'''Uzume:''' Lusted and thrusted.\\
'''Naruto:''' Gave her a hot beef injection.\\
'''Uzume:''' Okay, you win.\\
'''Naruto:''' "ThatsWhatSheSaid."
** Later, Naruto gives several euphemisms when asking Miya if she's masturbated since her husband's death.
--->'''Naruto:''' How often have you kneaded the love muffin? Diddled the skittle? Flicked the bean? Stroked the kitty? Done some indoor fishing? Given yourself some lip service? Brushed the--\\
'''Miya:''' I DON'T MASTURBATE!\\
'''Naruto:''' Well, since you feel the need to scream, [[YouNeedToGetLaid perhaps you should consider starting?]]

* ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12208660/8/I-Welcome-the-Unwelcome I Welcome the Unwelcome]]'':
-->'''Violet:''' Some seventh year just called me the Dark Lord's whore. And both Parvati and Lavender ignored me.\\
'''Hermione:''' I thought you actually had to do... stuff to be considered a whore.\\
'''Violet:''' Sex, Hermione, not stuff.\\
'''Hermione:''' Yes, well--\\
'''Violet:''' You're nearly seventeen! Surely you can say sex. Or shag. Or screw. Or bang. Or fuck.

* ''Series/QueerAsFolk'': After Stuart's preteen nephew tries to blackmail him for being gay (Stuart's parents don't know) and with false accusations of paedophilia, Stuart corners him in front of the entire family and outs himself with a long stream of euphemisms and cacophemisms for homosexuality.

* In ''WesternAnimation/HeyArnold'' with Grandpa Phil and his lifelong friend / rival Jimmy Kafka as they're both about to drown:

** The Critic lets loose the Creator/MontyPython set on the page quote describing [[spoiler: Johnny's death]] at the end of ''Film/TheRoom''.

* A sometime-CatchPhrase used by [[Series/FamilyMatters Steve Urkel]]--whenever he made what he thought what a casual declaration of something, and people replied "Whaaaa?", he would reply with a Hurricane Of Euphemisms.

--->'''Mike:''' [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland Just lie back and think of England's airspace.]]\\

* ''Website/{{Buzzfeed}}'': In "When the Doctor Needs to See Your Penis", the doctor says a list of strange euphemisms when explaining he wants to examine Justin's penis, including "cradle your ladle", "berry-picking season", and "going down under".

* When J's boss in ''WebVideo/MisadventuresOfAwkwardBlackGirl'' is going on vacation: "I want to know [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_know_why_the_caged_bird_sings why the caged bird sings]], I want to [[Film/HowStellaGotHerGrooveBack get my groove back]], and I want [[Theatre/ForColoredGirls the rainbow to be enuf]]. E-N-U-F." (the boss is known for her attempts to act black).

%%* ''Film/TheresSomethingAboutMary'' has a Hurricane Of Euphemisms for ADateWithRosiePalms.
* ''Film/TommyBoy'', Tommy walks in on Richard who's having ADateWithRosiePalms:

* The humor book ''A Guy's Guide to Dating'' has [[TheLongList five full pages of euphemisms]] for ADateWithRosiePalms, from "adjusting the set" to "yanking the yo-yo," and including such gems as "[[ADateWithRosiePalms dating Rosie Palm and her five sisters,"]] "being your own best friend," "sheathin' the heathen," and many others.

* On ''Series/GameOfThrones'', when Tyrion is called to confess his crimes, he confesses that when he was twelve, [[ADateWithRosiePalms "I milked my eel, I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage, I made the bald man cry."]] And he did it [[NauseaFuel into his sister's stew]].

'''Mother:''' ''[covering the girl's ears]'' Are you saying she's [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbating]]?\\

* Roy Zimmerman's song "[[http://youtu.be/pS5LWS5m5h4 Firing the Surgeon General]]" is a Hurricane Of Euphemisms for [[ADateWithRosiePalms masturbation]]. (The title is a reference to Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders, who was fired after proposing that frank discussion of the topic should be part of sex education.)

* Music/{{Jellyfish}}'s "He's My Best Friend" is one for the narrator's private parts along with ADateWithRosiePalms. Singer/songwriter/drummer Andy Sturmer [[WordOfGod said in an interview]] that the song was stylistically the band's "love letter to Music/HarryNilsson".

** In his [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_cGJM56Nko "worst jobs"]] video, Matt mentions the sperm bank janitor, who picks up after people who are [[ADateWithRosiePalms answering the bone phone, playing backstroke roulette, bludgeoning the beef steak, choking Charlie till he throws up, discharging dishonorably, playing the skin flute solo, doing the five-finger knuckle shuffle, participating in hand-to-gland combat, jerking the gherkin, jacking the beanstalk, milking the monkey, paddling the pickle, shining their helmet, playing tug-of-war with Cyclops, and/or whipping the dripper.]]

* In the ''WebVideo/SuperMarioLogan'' episode "The 1UP!", Mario visits his dying grandfather Harold, who unloads some euphemisms for death... [[ADateWithRosiePalms among other things]].

* Dylan Moran does a brilliant routine in his 'Monster' DVD about how people use stupid euphemisms which there's no hope of guessing, where he enacts this conversation:

"I'm sorry, what are talking about?"\\

-->'''Tommy:''' Richard! Were you watching, "Spank-tra-vision?" Maybe you were watching a movie with that funny comedian! Oh, whats his name? Buddy... Whack-it? Say! That's a pretty girl down there! Gee, I wonder if she goes out with one of the ''Yank''ees!\\

'''Tommy:''' Richard... who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa? Or is it... Spanky?

-->'''Lois:''' Superman for example would not of cut me out of the story by ratting on me to the opposing team. It's a good thing I got myself back into the game and scored the winning touchdown.\\